I had frantically searched for some meaning in this senseless sneak attack on my desktop. Why me? What had I done to deserve this? Had Microsoft fried my hard disk because I hadn't ordered Windows 98 yet? Had Big Brother wreaked havoc with my hardware because I used Wordperfect instead of the "approved" publishing software? Had my Plug and Play device confused its ATAPI with its VXD?

Suddenly, I saw it lying there. Right next to my CPU case. It was my gas company's Speedpass®. Could it have suffered a meltdown of its own and gone amock, emitting wild, uncontrolled signals in all directions? Could the world be in imminent danger from a revolt of the Smart Cards? Will our electronic "friends" soon threaten the world with Armageddon? Consider the following evidence...

Item. A dangerous driver in Duluth smugly speeds through the speedway toll gate, secure in the knowledge that the little electronic device embedded in his car has successfully debited his account. Instead, a bank account in the Cayman Islands has inexplicably seen its funds transferred to the DNC.

Item. A bored business man in Buffalo inserts his ATM card into the gleaming metal monster, and keys in his PIN number as he has done so many times before. He makes a cash withdrawal, ignoring the little strip of paper that drops on the floor. Had he read it, he would have noticed that he just paid the Kulowski's electric bill.

Item. A tired teacher in Texas logs onto the Internet, as her class shuffles in for another boring day of Biology 101. As she turns to greet the little urchins, she fails to notice her computer has just accessed the Cray supercomputer at CERN.

Item. A hung over housewife in Houston swipes her debit card in the check out card reader. Three aisles away the POS register happily records Mr. Kinsky's purchase. No one notices that he never handed over a card.

Item. A peeved patient in Peoria hands over her HMO card to the outpatient pharmacist, as he searches for the transmitted prescription on his terminal. Anxious to get home and take her first pill, she does not take notice that the capsules are not the oral contraceptives the doctor ordered but are actually Mr. McGinness's blood pressure pills.

Item. A careless customer in Catonsville waves his Speedpass® next to the red winged equine on the pump, smiling ever so slightly as the light comes on, signalling he can begin to pump his gas. As he glances over at the van in the next aisle, he fails to notice that he has just activated all the pumps in the station.