Daylight Savings Time. Who invented it anyway? Just when you get used to long, sunny days they yank the cord and suddenly you're driving to work and coming home in the dark. The sun is so low on the horizon that you need to stand on your roof to see it. The leaves are falling from the trees in droves. There is ice on your windshield in the morning!! It positively sucks!!

Sure, I got my "extra" hour of sleep Saturday night. Woke up and vaulted out of bed only to discover it was only 630. I had forgotten to change my alarm clock. And therein lies the rub...when to turn those puppies back in the first place. I mean, you're supposed to turn those suckers back at 2:00 AM. Right, like I'm gonna stay up 'til 200AM just to turn all the clocks back in my house. Get real. If I'm going to stay up 'til 200 AM, I'm not going to be running around my house setting all my clocks.

So, the big decision. Do you turn all the clocks back before you go to bed? Or, do you wait until morning? Or, do you set some at night and do the rest in the morning, like me. Of course, if you do this, you have to be careful which ones you change. Otherwise, you will be totally screwed up. You won't know what time it is. Your coffee brewer will turn on an hour early, but your heat will be late. The patio lights will be on when they shouldn't, but your alarm fails to get you up in time for church. When you drive to work the next day, you will panic and run into that car in front of you because you forgot to change the time in your car. And who knows how to set those things anyway? Your dog will be barking because she wants to go out, but you want to sleep. The kids will be crying and wailing because their favorite cartoon shows "aren't on."

It's a mess. Whoever invented this crap ought ot be shot. I know, it is supposed to save energy resources, but it doesn't. Congress has spent millions to study this issue. Much more than the mating habits of the grasshopper. They even made Daylight Savings Time longer. Didn't prove a thing. Did your gas or electric bill go down? Heck no. What about your water bill? No way. The only thing that went down is our bank accounts. Somebody is getting rich off this thing and it isn't us.

To make matters worse, not every state or for that matter, every country embraces Daylight Savings time. Some even use half hour changes. And we're worried about the Y2K problem? Gimme a break! I say, let's do away with this "spring forward, fall back" garbage. Who remembers that anyway. I say, let's have more daylight all year around! 

How do we do this, you say? It's easy. Since we lose about a minute of light a day in the winter and gain about a minute in the summer, all we have to do is adjust our clocks a minute each day and we never will lose any daylight! All year around! Think about it. Sure, we'd have to trash all our clocks and watches and substitute new, self-adjusting models. No big deal. We can do that. I know there's an enterprising company out there that will be glad to market those new DASACs [Daylight Saving Chronometers]. With DASACs everywhere our life would be a breeze. Every day would be like the middle of summer. Maximum daylight. Minimum headache. People would be happier. No more Seasonal Affective Disorder. Dogs and cats would get along. Nations would lay down their arms. For the first time in antiquity there would be peace in the Middle East. Insurrections would no longer be necessary as the nations of the world gather to marvel at the "new age of light."