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"So, how do you develop a relationship?" This question was asked of me when I was doing a Relationship Service seminar for the YMCA. I have to admit that the question caught me off guard for a brief second. We had been talking "theory" all day and this woman wanted some concrete methods for developing client or, for that matter, any relationship.
After pausing for a minute to collect my thoughts, I stated that the only thing I could do was tell her the truth from my experience. Somewhat shyly, I began to tell her the story of how my wife and I saved our relationship. My mind flashed back to a time when Karen and I were at a State Fair and I won two red velvet hearts as a consolation prize in one of the midway games. I broke apart the two hearts and gave one to Karen and kept one for myself.
We had been married for 10 years and were going through a bit of a "flat spot" in our relationship. We still loved each other, but something was missing.
Karen did not want the "flatness" to continue so one day she came up with a plan. She took one of the hearts and hid it in my towel while I was taking a shower. When I went to grab my towel, the red heart spilled out. As I bent down to pick it up, I was overcome with a rush of emotion that made me flash back to the time when I won the red hearts and the love we felt for each other at that moment.
I then hid the heart in her sock drawer. She hid it in my underwear drawer. I hid it in the refrigerator. She wrapped it in plastic wrap and hid it in the peanut butter. Hiding the heart became as much fun as finding it. Each time we hid or found it was a moment to be treasured, like the first moment we fell in love or the first moment we kissed or the first moment we looked into our child's eyes. Each is a cherished and precious moment.
How do you develop a relationship? One moment at a time!
By Barry Spilchuk
from A Cup of Chicken Soup for the Soul Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Barry Spilchuk
The Ultimate Birthday Party
Patty, my wife, suddenly sat up in bed at 3:49a.m. and told me the 19 people she would like to have invited to her ultimate birthday party. She told me exactly where she wanted it. She did this all while being in deep sleep. She then reentered la la land, not knowing she ever told me her deepest party desires.
I sneaked out of bed, bypassed the bathroom and went upstairs to capture her party of parties on paper so it could be manifested in elegance, panache and savoir faire.
Patty and I work together in our office. Fortunately, she was away from the office enough that I could telephone her deeply loved, respected, appreciated and well-thought-of friends and invite them to join us at her party to celebrate absolute birthday bliss. I scheduled it two days before her actual birthday so she wouldn’t suspect.
I told her we were going to a black-tie Prudential Insurance meeting, and that my client virtually insisted she attend. (I had been a professional speaker for over a decade at that time and Patty had attended more than her share of awards nights.)
Astonished, she asked, "Prudential is having their meeting here?"
"Yes," I said.
As we entered the portals of Antonello’s, the owner Antonio, gave her two dozen red roses and kissed her on the cheek. Her eyes were wide open in shock and disbelief as she stuttered, "Thank you." Antonio, an elegant handsome and articulate man, offered Patty his arm and graciously led us to the table.
Nineteen friends burst into "Happy Birthday to You" along with the ending of the Hallelujah Chorus. Patty received a standing ovation for being born. Dumbfounded, she asked again, "Prudential invited you all here?" Everyone smiled and burst into laughter, tears, cheers and loving hugs.
Patty literally had her dreams come true at her ultimate birthday bash. Everyone she loved and wanted there was in attendance.
We feasted on Fusilli Pasta and had a wonderful time. As Bob Hope would say, "Thanks for the memories..."
Fusilli con Spinaci e Ricotta
(from Antonello’s Ristorante, Newport Beach, California)
Makes 6 or more servings
1 pound dried fusilli (corkscrew-shaped pasta)*
2 cups ricotta cheese * Salt and pepper to taste
1-1/2 cups extra-virgin olive oil * 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan Cheese
2 tablespoons minced garlic * 6 cups chopped fresh spinach
1. Cook the pasta in rapidly boiling water with 1 tablespoon salt for 8 to 10 minutes until almost tender - it should be al dente. Meanwhile, make the sauce.
2. Heat olive oil in a large skillet. Add the garlic and saute until it just starts to turn golden. Add the spinach, saute a minute or two, then add the ricotta cheese and seasonings to taste. Set aside.
3. When the pasta is done, drain off the water and toss the fusilli with the sauce. Serve in a bowl-topped with Parmesan.
By Mark Victor Hansen
from Chicken Soup for the Soul Cookbook Copyright 1996 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen & Diana von Welanetz Wentworth
Mend a quarrel. Search out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicions, and replace it with trust. Write a love letter. Share some treasure. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth.
Manifest your loyalty in a word or deed. Keep a promise. Find the time. Forego a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you were wrong. Try to understand. Flout envy. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Appreciate, be kind, be gentle. Laugh a little more.
Deserve confidence. Take up arms against malice. Decry complacency. Express your gratitude. Worship your G-d. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love. Speak it again. Speak it still again. Speak it still once again.
Author Unknown
I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip."
I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.
As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.
First, there would be the Done family, you know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share.
Then Shattered Dreams would surely make and appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.
Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be cancelled by ME! I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous,fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.
So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it -- it's in your own heart -- please look me up. I live on I Can Do It street.
Larry Harp Found on HeartWarmers4U
TOGETHER ONCE AGAIN
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband had sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he'd sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, "He'd ordered roses in advance before this day." Her husband could not have known, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early; way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. And then she sat for hours, in her husband's favorite chair; While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know." "The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."
"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year." She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... "Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please... try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."
story by PoppyK1 visit the website here
this page was last updated on February 20th, 1999