Current Affairs for Dummies


It's been a week come morning since the sickening image of the second airliner to slice into the World Trade Center became the screensaver on every television news network from Nome to Nepal. I have spent literally the entire week clicking through every channel, transfixed with morbid fascination, watching the appallingly graphic videos which captured the rapier precision of the eventually cataclysmic blows.

Palpable physical infirmity wracked my very guts that lovely Tuesday morning as the reality dawned that this was no Hollywood mock-up job. Everyday flying fools, just like you and me, very likely turned to hot jelly and then to vapor as the mammoth flying fuel tanks mixed with steel and concrete for one eternal split-second before transforming into huge rolling balls of bright red and orange fire. Some dude sitting at a sales desk making his first cold call of the day very suddenly was stirring his coffee cup with the nose cone of a Boeing jumbo jet.

Phhht! Instant transmigration to another plane of existence. Attempting to imagine the feelings of the victims as they met their various horrible deaths boggles the heart and mind. I mean, ....what if the sales guy was actually looking out the window, watching the approaching jet? Can you imagine?

That the living responsible parties for this stunning and masterly attack should be held accountable for the destruction of innocent lives and properties is not here in dispute, though the rationale and methodology of such a course must be carefully considered to be effective and just.

As I watch the various television anchors, pundits, and publicans, waving their flags, pounding their chests, and beating the drums of war for instant justice and terrible vengeance, I can only hope that others in the country are also shaking their heads as I am..

..shaking their heads in disbelief at the unabashed martial fervor that the big corporate tv networks are portraying as the overwhelming sentiment of the common working American in the heartland, or "fly-over country," as some have aptly called it.. disbelief that there are discussions in official circles of retaliation---with nuclear weapons, no less!

Have Americans grown so dull and unconcerned that they would leave their good senses to follow blindly the policies of a self-serving and aggrandizing government bearing little if any resemblance to the quasi-lawful republic---at least constitutionally---that was the the legacy of Sherman, Franklin, Washington, and Adams?

If that is indeed the sad case, may I offer here briefly, my own version of one of those simple little yellow paperback "Books for Dummies."

Let's call it, Current Affairs for Dummies.

Ch. !-- The recent airline bombings were probably less a result of any envy of our freedom and prosperity, than a direct backlash at our government's modern propensity to dictate to others the terms of their freedom and prosperity. The dictation of those terms does not exclude murder and mayhem as a means of persuasion, of course.

Ch. 2-- Any half-wit should realize the folly of declaring a world war of retribution against several backward third world nations utilising the now too predictable high-tech arsenal of smart-bombs and cruise missiles which inevitably manage to decimate colonies of women and children civilians, spawning the next generation of religious fanatics/martyrs/terrorists along the way.

Ch. 3-- Washington, D.C. needs to get its nose out of everyone else's business, just like George Washington said. If American corporate interests want to delve into global military adventurism for fun and profit, let them pay for it with their own nickel, not ours.

Ch. 4-- Cut out all the bullshit at airports with the inept security checks, remote parking, and bans on nail clippers, etc.. Shitcan the porcine security personnel along with all their attendant, bloated, regulating bureaucracies, in favor of permitting those capable and inclined, to carry firearms aboard airline flights (with frangible ammo, of course). Presto! No more exploding flying fuel dumps!

Ch. 5-- (The most important chapter) GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE CURE FOR ALL THE WORLD'S ILLS! Start thinking for yourselves, people. Less CBS/NBC/ABC/FOX news would be good, for starters.

Realize that welfare and "programs" are paid for with money that the government stole from someone who earned it. Get off your duff and work hard, ....and don't keep giving it all to the bloodsuckers in the halls of government. Remember, "Just say NO!"

Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while, but remember, cops are usually never right there if you really need them. Get some guns and learn how to use them. One principled citizen of character and substance could stop a rape, or a robbery, or a Columbine, or a World Trade Center attack.

After all, when someone's coming in through the bathroom window, would you rather have a modest sidearm on your nightstand, or the mighty 9-1-1 on your kitchen phone speed-dial?

Alas, maybe in the final analysis, it's all moot, anyway. Almost everyone I know works for the government in one way or another.


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