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How's that for a rousing title?....2000. Who'd a thunk
it?
Okay, ....so there's no winter, ....Y2K was a wash, ....even the terrorists wimped out, ...and the corporate news networks are floundering in the breeze, thrashing the stock market mercilessly again, trying to squeeze out yet another day's worth of tele-journal/sensationalism. A buddy of mine e-mailed me not even an hour into the new decade and inquired what I would do with all my beans and rice. I invited him over for dinner and told him to bring plenty of salsa and cheese. Hey! No wonder the economy's so good....in the last 3 months, everybody's run out and bought a whole year's worth of shit! Anybody wanna buy some nice kerosene in brand new 5 gallon Rubbermaid cans? I'll make you a helluva good deal. I can take the kerosene heater (still in the box) back to Home Depot for a full refund no problem–––the girl told me I wouldn't even need a receipt! Yes, I'll admit it....the frightening prospect of no electricity during the normally brutally cold weeks of January in New England prompted me to pick up a little cheap insurance right before the roll over. Yeah, ....so now it's January, 2000, it's 40° outside and the lights are merrily blazing away, Y2K be damned! The old oil furnace doesn't sound too bad either, ....for only having been serviced once in the past 8 years. Hang on a second. I better knock on wood, throw some salt over my shoulder, and spit–––quick! Sure as shootin', there's gonna be an extended -20° spell and the furnace will crash right on cue in the middle of it....hmmm.... Maybe I'll just hang on to my little kerosene insurance policy, at least until springtime. Ah, ....Life is good, no? ....Heat, ....lights, ....hot water....and now that the Y2K hype is gone with nary a whimper, a responsible person can concentrate on procuring some basic and essential firearms while there's still time–––just in case! The rice and beans are almost ready.... Now,
....where's that salsa?
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