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In case anyone missed me, I'm back. Yes, that's
right....in spite of myself, I just took 4 airline
flights, numerous train journeys, and spent oodles of
dough-ski in a pleasant little 20 day frolic
encompassing München (beer capital of the world),
southern Bavaria, and gay Par-ee.
Yes, ....in spite of myself. It took the incessant urging of my mother and my girl to overcome my incredible static inertia and tear me away from my cat and home. They had to bug the crap out of me to bring me to part with a little of my wad and relive again some good old times across the big pond. Continue reading for some observations I made along the way. The big deal made by the world media over "terrorism" is a crock of shit. To wit, upon landing at Paris' Charles de Gaulle International airport, my lady and I waltzed through the Immigrations station with nary a glance from the pair of African-French nationals posted there. The two were deep in what appeared to be a romantic discussion as they automatically stamped our proffered documents without even looking away from each others eyes. After a lengthy excursion through the bowels of the airport on tubular and transparent escalators all laid out akimbo (a worthy foreshadowing of the Paris Metro system), we proceeded unchallenged through an unmanned Customs gate and we were immediately thereafter free as jaybirds just 13 miles north of the big city. We immediately witnessed further reassuring security measures in the form of commando squads in the airport, smartly decked out in camouflage battle dress and toting menacing black machine guns at the ready, gazing with rapt attention not at the milling throngs, but at each other. You see, ....nearly half of the storm troopers happened to be not so unattractive young girls, who were as busy trying to impress their male counterparts as the males were them. Rest assured, it was a dizzying display of military might in the face of any and all non-Christian malcontents who might choose to wreak their Shiite (shiat?) havoc in these secure environs. Especially poignant amidst the strutting and posturing with their ubiquitous tools of death was when one of the lady warriors managed to jam her finger in the trigger guard of her deadly black machine gun. The male troopers were particularly empathetic and helpful in assuaging her obvious and acute discomfort with their full attention, as the tumult of the busy airport continued unabated, and by security unobserved. And politicians wonder why integrated armies have high pregnancy rates....Duh. Paris–––arguably the most beautiful and romantic city in the world–––is one filthy muthafu__er! Watch where you step, baby. You know what 'merde' means in French? And they actually hose off the streets every morning! The Eiffel Tower?....Notre Dame? They're good, ....but don't miss Rue des Rosiers in the old Jewish quarter for a butt-kicking falafal and eggplant or roasted lamb sandwich (not on Saturdays, though) or Rue St. Denis for a long line up of some drop-dead gorgeous French whores, in every size and color, that you can walk right up to and smell, no charge! And be wary of the Louvre....it's too damned big! Pick a section or two, check 'em out, then get the hell out of there! Play it any other way and you risk at best, serious cultural overdose, ....and at worst, severe blistering of the feet–––and for the sake of your sanity, DON'T go on the free admissions day. EAT PASTRIES! I've never had better....anywhere. My favorite was a sugared croissant with apricots. My hot Paris tip–––skip the fancy expensive restaurants and eat pastry in the morning, jewish sandwiches for lunch, and chinese food at dinner–––this will leave you some scratch to go to Germany with where you can drink some real beer, eat out at restaurants, or buy some clothes or shoes without robbing your retirement fund. A final word on Paris–––expensive–––except for Grand Marnier, the exquisite French orange liquor. This liquid gold is dirt cheap here (about $8 vis-a-vis $23 in the states) and you should use up all your leftover Francs to snap some of it up. European Union–––no more borders between member nations. Yeah, but what about terrorists? ....or dope, ....or ANYTHING? Just a big crock perpetrated by governments and their media to scare people into accepting their control agendas. If you've got big troubles, do you dismantle security and borders?...Duh. OK....Munich.... Eat and drink beer....a lot of it. You can't get this stuff at your home town bowling alley, McDonald's, or Pizza Hut. And you should try to walk where ever you are going or you just might gain 200 pounds. There are supposed to be about 6000 breweries in the world. Germany has a third of them. These folks have been at this for a long time and Bavaria even has a law that limits the ingredients of beer to grains, hops, water, and yeast. Even if you're not a beer drinker, try some different beers and you'll probably find something that appeals to you. If you're still with me, let me wrap this up with one more note on the whole PC thing....with nearly one out of three votes garnered in free democratic elections, the Freedom Party in Austria has become part of government there. In order that "democratic principles" be protected, the European Union along with the U.S. and Israel, is sanctioning Austria for supporting lower taxes, laissez-faire capitalism, and restricted immigration, not to mention less centralized government in the form of European Union expansion. Sure, we want democracy, they say, ....just as long as you vote for our agenda. The left-leaning European Union is of course using the time-tested method of branding the Austrians as Nazis in the world media to counter the rational capitalist and survivalist instincts that are naturally arising in the face of the inexorable and suffocating creeping globalism that threatens free people everywhere. If you decide to go to Europe, hopefully the romance of different and culturally distinct nations will have survived till you get there. Say your prayers, ....
and don't step in any shit.
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