i am awake 
as you lie sleeping in my bed
imagining tasting your lips
impossibility overwhelms me
as this thought tarnishes my mind
each breath you take
delievers yet another tear to my eyes
one more memory
one more second
one more instant
of a moment when i am 
without you
i feel my eyes
swolen
from holding back tears
that i refuse to let you see
considering your emotion
considering your obligation
i cannot help feeling 
my heart writhe
to be filled with yours
i cannot help feeling
my lungs gasp
to breathe the life you breathe
into me
i cannot help yearning
to reach across the bed
while lying next to you
to touch your skin
until dreams can be realities
i will stay awake instead
writing