Were Female, he'd write: I'm glad I'm a woman Yes I am, yes I am. I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections; I won't drive to Hell before asking directions. I act nice at parties, don't act like a clown; And I know how to put the toilet seat down. I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt. My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut. I don't go around readjusting my crotch; or make sure my headboard bears each little notch. I don't belch in public, don't scratch my behind. I'm a woman, you see- I'm just not that kind! I'm glad I'm a woman, so glad I can sing- and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting. Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back. And when I bend over you can't see my crack. I'm a woman, alas, and I'm proud, don't you see? I'm blessed to have two boobs and to squat when I pee. I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball. I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal. I don't need male bonding; I don't cruise for chicks- I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think with my dick. I'm a woman, by chance and thankful I am! I'm so glad I'm a woman, yes I am, Not a man! BACK |