May 1998

It has been brought to my attention that The "Doc's Wallbangers" softball team has their
own web page....  Can I ask a question???  

WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Who is going to care about that page?  They're not even that good?  Of course, you can't
tell that from the web page (their losing record is mysteriously absent from the contents). 
All of the individual stats are there, though.  Why not?  They are trying to point out how
good they "each" are and not how good they "all" are.  The classic phrase reigns true again,
"There is no "I" in TEAM."  "Well I, well I, well I....."  A WALLEYE IS A FISH, DAMN
IT!!!  Don't even think about getting me started on the "name" of the team....  Doc's
Wallbangers....  That's not even their "real" name!!!  They'd be laughed right out of their
league if the other teams knew about this!!!  (All of a sudden I have an idea....)  How many
times have they hit one over the fence?......  WELL????........  I'll go with "none" for
$1000, Alex.
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June 10, 1998

Some of the "Lamers" went camping this weekend.  All I know is it was most likely, lame. 
They got a new, further away, camp site this year, so they "could be as loud as we want". 
Why don't they say REALLY what they mean.  They wanted to make a spectacle of
themselves on the chance someone would notice them.  How shallow....  "Look at ME!! 
I'm pretending to be drunk.... AGAIN!!"  From what I hear from inside information, it
wasn't as bad as in years past.  I'll be the judge of that.  ANY "Lamer" gathering is BAD!
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July 4th Weekend

The "Lamers" went "up-nort" to John's Cabin, again.  The same old kind of bullshit went
on there:  "Acting" drunk, "trying" to water ski (probably at 5 MPH), skinny-dipping, and
of course, strutting around nude.  Am I missing something????  What in the hell so erotic
about strutting around "nude" with a bunch of married "people"?  As far as I can see----
NOTHING!!!!!  In fact, what ever happened to the sanctity of marriage??  Are other
"people", especially your husband's or Wife's friends, supposed to see you nude??  I think
not.  Now don't call me a prude, but come on.  A nude beach I can see......, but all alone at
a cabin with close friends?  (How close are they??)  And what about a certain female that
was strutting around nude, when her husband wasn't there, around the person whom she is
supposedly having an affair with?  Did anyone say anything???  But, of course not!!!! 
Let's make it even MORE obvious in what is going on!
    I remember that we were talking about going along one time and pissing off the whole
"Heard"(sic. = did you "hear"?).  We were going to strut around nude all weekend and
really get them pissed.... and it turns out, they think it is okay?  I guess we will have to 
do this along with sitting in the cars, jerking it all weekend, grunting like a baboon, and 
tossing used tissues out of the car windows.  WAIT.....  Are we sure they don't already do 
this??  I mean, we thought they had more class than to strut around nude together, and they do.
I  wonder if they also sit in the cars all weekend, jerk it.....  WELL?!?!?!?!?!?  Are you sure
they don't?!?!?!?  Remember...  It is natural.  That is why they do it.  If, and I do mean
"if", I ever go along, I think I will strut around nude and PISS WHENEVER THE HELL I
FEEL LIKE IT!!!!  That's ALSO natural!!!  No matter where I am, nor who I am talking
to, or for that matter, facing, I'm going to LET IT RIP!!!
    Also....  Why is going to the cabin such a treat if the same thing goes on EVERY,
SINGLE, SOLITARY time.  Boring!!!!  (Then again, look whom I am talking about.)  We
don't call them "Lamers" for nothing!!!!
    I ask you one more thing..  Is it "time to go skinny-dipping, yet"?
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Indy Weekend

    Why the hell did it take so long for the "Lamers" to decide that Nomar is a fucking,
worthless, moronic, stank, nasty, brillo-pad-headed, gossipy, walleye-talking piece of white
trash?  Maybe it is because they have ALL the same characteristics as him (minus the
"brillo-pad-headed" part).  Haven't we been saying that all of the time?!?!  How idiotic
does one person (let alone a whole group) have to be to not see the preverbial "light at the
end f the tunnel"?!?!  Now "everyone" hates him........  Who long will that last?  Funny.... 
eventhought everyone hates him (finally), I STILL hate them the same.........
By the way....... if you weren't camping Indy Weekend......."AW!!!!  You missed it.... We
had  a fire, beer..............."  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...... Lick my entire ass!!!!!!

Sincerely,

The Editor
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