Chapter Five

Zac looked around. There was no one here, and nobody would notice he was gone until it was too late...he could pull it off if he wanted to. There was a bottle of Valium somewhere in the back cabinet of the bathroom, he could easily pull an overdose and he'd go painlessly. He got up and looked around again. No one at all...he crept into the bathroom and opened the medecine cabinet. Oh, God, his savior... nearly a full bottle of the stuff. He took it down and looked around for the third time, then read the back.
"This contains enough medication to seriously harm a child. May be fatal if taken in too large a dose."
Zac grinned. Too bad he wasn't about to down a whole bottle of Viagra ... it would have been even more hilarious then. He went to twist the top off, and had it halfway off when something slapped him across the back of his head. He shook his head a little, put the bottle back, closed the cabinet, and turned around. Starlight was glaring at him fiercely, eyes filled with tears.
"Is this what you think of me? Do you deliberately want to kill me?"
Zac shook his head a little, afraid to speak out loud. Starlight had a good yelling session in mind for him.
"Is this what you'd like? You'll go straight to the underworld that way, and I'll be coming with you for not doing my job! Does that mean anything to you? Does it?"
Zac was beginning to pale, and Starlight could see how badly she'd frightened him. She stopped screaming and gazed at him. Her eyes stung. While Zac watched in horror, she sat down on the floor in front of his feet and just began to cry, soft sobs causing her shoulders to shake.
"I should have just let you kill yourself," she mumbled. "I should have given Lucifer my soul right then. I should have let you kill me."
Her words were drowned out by the racking sobs and the sound of her in such pain. Zac knelt down in front of her and touched her shoulder.
"Star...Angel. Look at me, Angel." The strangeness of him using her title as a nickname made her look up. He sat down in front of her, and rubbed her shoulder.
"Look, Star. I have problems. I'll admit that. I'll admit that I am a very depressed person. I'm really lonely. And I'm sick of hearing people scream at me, in words or just incoherently. I just want my old life back. I want a normal girlfriend who doesn't care who I am. I don't want you to die, and I'm trying so hard not to slip. It was an accident...I'm so sorry."
It was an enormous speech for him. Especially since the girl he was delivering it to was two years older than him. But it didn't matter... he cared about her, dead though she was. Starlight sniffled, and more tears slid down her cheeks.
"I don't want to do this anymore, Zac. I want to live. I should have let Tay drop that acid the other day...but I don't want to die again! I want to be able to walk down a street and say hi to someone, I want my friends back. All my friends have grown up and gotten married, Zac! I want my life back! And I can't have it!"
Zac was torn apart from the inside out. He pulled the older girl into his lap and backed up against the wall, close to crying himself. He gently stroked his hand through her hair, showing signs of affection he'd never unleashed before.
"If I could give my life for yours, I would, Star. But I can't. It would tear my family apart. I promise, Star. I won't slip again. I think I figured out why guardian angels are really beautiful girls... if they'd given me a fat old man I would have swallowed the Valium a long time ago."
Starlight showed a hint of a smile that lasted only a few seconds, and then the tears started again.
"Please, Zac, keep that promise. You won't like being dead. It's so horrible. I swear. Please don't."
Zac gently wiped her tears away with the back of his hand, and asked softly,
"What does Heaven look like?"
Starlight shrugged.
"It's different for everyone," she whispered. "For the first two years, I had someone that loved me, and took care of me. And then he fucked the girl he was watching over. So I had to be a guardian. My heaven is supposed to be simple...a warm house, food, and someone to love me. And I don't think I'll ever get it back."
Zac could feel his eyes stinging harder than before.
"Could you show me my Heaven?"
Starlight gazed at him thoughtfully, then nodded and took his hand. For some weird reason, she flattened it against her chest and closed her eyes. Darkness hit Zac like a load of bricks.

It was so beautiful, in a weird way. Zac looked around, at the apartment before him. A larger, older version of Wickit lay curled up on a couch, and Zac could see himself lying on a floor, comfortable and dozing. There was a girl in the kitchen, older than Starlight but younger than his mother. Zac only got one more look around, and he was back in the bathroom with Starlight in his lap.
"That girl," he started. "That wasn't you, was it?"
Starlight shook her head sadly.
"I'm sorry, Zac. It wasn't. Some way or another, I'm supposed to be Tay's destiny. And I don't know how that's going to work if he keeps trying to drop acid while I'm not around."
Zac gently kissed her cheek and brushed away a few extra tears.
"Of course...Tay gets everything. Friends, then?"
Starlight nodded.
"Forever," she said. And Zac knew somehow, she was right.

"See, I never go without my gold chain and silver ring set. Why? Because it fools people into thinking that I actually found a guy with some good taste for once!"

- Myself. I've worn that necklace for a year and a half now without taking it off.

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Chapter Six