As anyone who's ever played Metal Gear can tell you, the game is full of screwy quotes. In some cases it's just bad translation, others it's an odd sense of humor being shown, and some just can't be explained. One thing is for sure though, Metal Gear has some most bizzare text I've ever seen (and ever will see) in a video-game; and I feel that you should be able to witness it as well. So here goes....
"This is Solid Snake. Respond, please."

"UH-OH!! THE TRUCK HAVE STARTED TO MOVE!"
- Solid Snake

"THIS IS YOUR COMPUTER SPEAKING. HERE ARE THE CREATORS OF YOUR METAL GEAR GAME...."
- "Your Computer"

"I'M GETTING SLEEPY!!"
"I FEEL ASLEEP!!"
"OK, IN WE GO!!"
"OK! YOUR TURN!!"
(the guards think you're going to take over their shift for them.)
- Enemy Guards

"FIRST, ATTEMPT TO CONTACT MISSING OUR "GREY FOX". THEN TRY TO FIND THE METAL GEAR"
- Big Boss

"BE CAREFUL NOT TO LET ENEMY DETECT YOU."
- Big Boss

"BIG BOSS HERE. LAND MINE? YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO USE THEM."
- Big Boss

"FOX HOUNDER INFALTRATED THE ENEMY SEVERAL DAYS AGO."
- Prisoner

"SCHNEIDER HERE. THE RADIO CONTROLLED MISSLE IS IN THE SOUTH WEST."
- Schneider

"THIS IS STEVE. DIANE? NO, DIANE IS OUT SHOPPING. SHE HASN'T COME BACK YET---"
- Steve (Diane)

"BIG BOSS HERE. CARDBOARD? WHAT'S GOING ON? ARE YOU PLANNING TO MOVE OR SOMETHING?"
- Big Boss

"HELLLOOO! THIS IS DIANE, YOUR RESISTANCE FIGHTER. THE MACHINE GUN KID IS VULNERABLE TO RADIO CONTROLLED MISSLES. BYE, NOW!"
- Diane

"HI FOLKS! THIS IS DIANE. SWITCH YOUR COMMUNICATION CHANNEL TO ME OVER TO 12091. BYE!"
- Diane

"THIS IS STEVE. DIANE? OH! DIANE IS IN THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW."
- Steve (Diane)

"HI THERE, EVERYBODY. THIS IS DIANE AGAIN! TRY BLOWING UP THE TANKS WITH YOUR MINES. BYE BYE!"
- Diane

"JENNIFER HERE. COWARD DUCK HAS CARD NUMBER 8."
- Jennifer

"HI THERE! THIS IS DIANE! THE ONLY WAY TO DEFLECT THE ENEMY WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER IS TO USE THE HAND GUN! BYE!"
- Diane

"BIG BOSS HERE. GO THROUGH THE DOOR ON THE LEFT. OVER"
(The door on the left has a pit-trap right behind it)
- Big Boss

"HI! THIS IS DIANE! HOW ARE YOU DOING? DON'T FALL INTO ANY ENEMY PIT TRAPS! OVER"
- Diane

"SCHNEIDER HERE. WE HAVE UNMASKED THE LEADER OF THE ENEMY FORTRESS! IT'S UNBELIEVABLE, BUT THE ENEMY LEADER IS---ARRRGGHHH!!"
- Schneider's last words

"OH SOLID SNAKE! IF ONLY YOU AND I---! NO, CANCEL THAT---! GOOD LUCK."
- Diane

"TODAY AT DAWN THERE WAS APPARENTLY A LARGE SCALE EARTH TREMOR IN THE REGION OF GALZBURG (sp?), SOUTH AFRICA---"
- Station KNK

Take me home, Stu