Title: Bad Judgement
Author: Mady Bay - mbay@binghamton.edu
Date: May 16, 1998
Spoilers: The Pine Bluff Variant
Rating: PG-13, just some language
Summary: What happens after Mulder and Scully leave the bank in Pittsburgh

Bad Judgement

Scully didn't know what else to do. Yelling wasn't enough. She wanted to scream. She wanted to hit. Hell, she wanted to shoot that son of a bitch U.S. Attorney bastard. They used Mulder for their sick secret plan. She decided it was time to go. She needed to and Mulder needed to go, back to DC, to get out of this place. She knew he must be outraged as well. Only she knew his anger was aimed inward. She knew he would blame himself, not this asshole. But she turned only to see Mulder heading for a car.

"Shit," she mumbled under her breath.

She glanced at Skinner quickly, giving him a questioning look.

"Go," was all he said as Scully headed out the door after Mulder.

She got to his car as he was putting it into gear.

"Mulder!" she shouted, pounding on the window.

He looked toward her briefly before driving off. What Scully saw in that brief look scared her to her bones. It was a combination of grief, guilt and hopelessness expressed in his eyes.

`Oh God, no,' she thought as she raced to her car. She got in and put the rarely used flashing light on the dashboard, hoping it would help her get through the traffic and catch up to Mulder. She found him quickly, considering the unfamiliar Pittsburgh streets and the strange car he was driving.

"Come on Mulder, pull over," she repeated as she flashed the lights and honked the horn at him.

Mulder ignored her.

"Dammit Mulder!" she cursed as he got onto the highway and sped up. Scully sped up as well, trying to keep him in sight.

"Gee, not too often I get to drive 90 miles an hour. I can't believe some state trooper hasn't stopped me yet," she said aloud, still following Mulder closely.

She followed him like this for another half an hour before she saw him start to slow down and pull over to the side of the road.

"Finally!" she said, stopping her car behind his on the shoulder of the road.

She saw his head lower to the steering wheel. Scully was about to get out of her car when she saw Mulder get out of his. She smiled slightly as she watched him kick the car repeatedly. Then she frowned as she watched him walking on the shoulder of the road, away from her.

"Damn you Mulder!" she cursed, putting her car in gear.

She pulled around his car, putting on the four way lights on the car, and rolled down the passenger side window as she pulled up next to Mulder.

"Mulder, get in," she said.

He ignored her.

"Dammit Mulder! Come on!" she shouted.

He still ignored her.

Scully grumbled to herself. She pulled the car ahead of him and parked it on the shoulder of the road. Then she got out and put herself between the car and Mulder and waited. Mulder stopped in his tracks. He closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"Mulder," Scully started.

Mulder looked up then, looked at Scully. She saw the pain and guilt still in his eyes.

"What? Do I have some sign over my head that says `Use me. Abuse me. Tell me anything and I'll believe it because I'm fucking gullible!!' Huh?!!" Mulder shouted.

He bent his head back, closing his eyes again. Tears threatened to fall down Scully's cheeks as she heard the tremor in Mulder's voice and saw the quiver of his mouth as he tried to hold back his own tears.

"Mulder," she said quietly, starting to close the distance between them.

But he started backing up.

"I don't need your pity, Scully!" he shouted.

"Then how about some understanding?" she replied.

Mulder looked at Scully tentatively. He saw the compassion in her eyes. He also saw the fear and worry.

"I'm sorry Scully," he said quietly, finally letting her approach.

Scully put her arms around him, gently at first, then tightly. She led him to the grassy hill next to the shoulder and sat him down. Scully sat behind him, pulling him back to her. They sat that way, crying silently until a state trooper stopped to check on them. After assuring her that they were fine and would be on their way shortly, they started to head to Scully's car.

Mulder finally broke his silence when they got in the car.

"God, Scully. How do I get into these situations, when `Trust No One' is supposed to be my paranoid mind's motto?" Mulder asked dejectedly.

"Because you still have a poster that says `I Want To Believe' hanging in our office," she answered, starting to drive back onto the highway.

End

Author's notes - Boy, you don't know how hard it was not to have some car come careening off the highway and hit Mulder after his `fucking gullible' speech! But alas, I couldn't think of where else to take it without dragging this out another couple of weeks.. Hope you liked it anyway. Please send your thoughts and comments to me at mbay@binghamton.edu. Thanks for reading!