Title: Conversing
Part: Part 1 of 4 parts
Name: JEhrat
Address: JEhrat@aol.com
Category: SRA
Rating: STRONG R - mostly language
Summary: An old boyfriend of Scully's comes to town. How will it affect Mulder?
Timespan: Includes references to "Fire" and "Never Again"
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Relationship Testing
Disclaimer: The X-Files and Characters Mulder, Scully and Skinner belong to Chris Carter (lucky man!), Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made from their use. However, Doug belongs to me and may not be used without my permission.
Archive: Yes, please attach my name and e-mail as to where it is going.
Notes: Feeback is most welcome, in fact, craved! Thanks to frogdoggie for suggestions - sorry I couldn't put in all your ideas - closet prude here!

FBI Headquarters
5:57pm Thursday

"Would you like to get something to eat?" Mulder consulted his watch before looking inquiringly at Scully sitting across from him at her own desk. It had been a long day of studying case reports, crime scene photos, and detailing leads that needed to be followed up on. There was a serial killer on the loose in Washington, DC and a large percentage of agents had been called off other non-pressing cases to try to help profile, identify and capture whomever was terrorizing the city.
All serial crimes were horrific, but if possible, this particular killer seemed even more so. Five people had been brutally butchered, tortured, and left to die slowly, their last hours filled with pain and horror.
Mulder and Scully had been assigned to help design a profile of the killer that would aid other agents in deciding where to look for him/her. They had spent most of the day trying to decide if one or two people were actually involved. There were indications that one person could not accomplish some aspects of the murders unless they were unusually gifted in strength, intelligence, and cunning.
Scully looked up from her paper work. A look of concern crossed her face. "I'm expecting Doug Tanslet to arrive at any time. I'd like to be here." Her voice trailed off. "But of course, you don't have to stay on my account," she added quickly.
Mulder leaned back in his chair, feigning disinterest. "Oh, is that today?" He thought back to the beginning of the week when Scully had casually remarked that an old college friend had gotten in touch with her and would be coming to town this weekend to attend a three day conference. And, oh yeah, Scully added, *he* wants to go out and rehash old times. Mulder hadn't thought too much about it at first, but then he had noticed the extremely happy look on her face when she said 'he'. Mulder decided a little light-hearted teasing was in order.
"Well, by the glow on your face, he must have been someone special," he grinned. Secretly, it always amazed him when he realized Scully'd had a life before meeting up with him and working on the X-files, some five years now. Sometimes it seemed like she had always been with him.
"Well, " Scully had drawn out the word, "We were quite an item in college," she had finally admitted. "And he did figure prominently during confession with Father Brian each week, as I recall," she grinned.
"And who dropped whom?" he queried. "Did pathologist-in-the-making Dr. Dana Katherine Scully get her little heart broken?" he jested. "Or did you stomp all over him and leave your mark?"
Scully had stared off into space as her mind went back. "I'd say it was a mutual thing. Doug was a year ahead of me, and he just moved on. We separated on very good terms and have tried to stay in touch once or twice a year. Mostly through Christmas cards," she confessed.
"He's a pathologist, too. And he lives in California. He says he will be free the first night, and then the medical convention is hosting a gala banquet Friday night that he would like me to attend with him." Scully had emphasized the word 'gala' with a British accent.
"Scully's got a date," Mulder sang like a school kid.
She added coyly, "And apparently he is still single." She let the sentence hang in the air.
Fox smiled to himself. He wasn't worried. If the guy lived in California, he wasn't going to be popping in and out of Dana's life too often. He watched her face as she continued reminiscing in her mind. "Wow," he finally said. "By the look on your face, you must have really had the hots for this guy!"
"Oh, Mulder," was all she'd said. But he thought he'd seen her blush as she ducked her head back down to study a file.
That had been several days ago. Mulder had completely forgotten about this weekend, and Scully hadn't mentioned it again, until now.
As if on cue, the phone rang.
"Agent Scully."
She listened for a moment, and then said, "I'll be right up," and hung up the phone. "He's here," she said to Mulder as she got up to leave. "I'll fetch him right down so you can meet him and properly judge whether he was worth getting "hot" over or not," Scully teased. But Fox noticed she took a moment to dig out her mirror and check her makeup and hair.
"Gee, you never fix up for me, Scully," Mulder quipped.
"You don't count," Scully teased again. Then she was off.
As Mulder waited for Scully to come back with her prize, he wondered if he looked suitable. He ran his hand through his short brown hair, trying to style it without much success. His hair pretty much did what it wanted to do. He buttoned the top button of his shirt and straightened his tie. Standing up, he rolled down his sleeves and put on his jacket, then sat back down to wait.
Why do I feel like a father getting ready to meet his daughter's boyfriend, Mulder thought to himself. He didn't have to wait long. Scully was back in record time. And she came in on the arm of a very handsome man, if Mulder was any sort of judge on that subject. Scully was clearly pleased to be bringing her trophy to meet him. Mulder stood up as Doug entered the room and stretched out his hand in welcome. Each was sizing the other up. Dana wanted to laugh out loud as she witnessed the silent eyeing going on, but she managed to suppress her giggles.
"Doug, this is my partner in crime, Fox Mulder," Scully said introducing the men to each other. "Mulder, Doug Tanslet, my former partner in crime."
Doug's handshake was firm and strong, but not overly so. He was lean, but filled out his expensive suit nicely. Obviously works out, Mulder thought to himself. He was taller than Mulder by an inch or two and Dana seemed dwarfed in their presence. He had sandy colored, executive-type hair, perfectly parted on one side, course and thick. He had bright blue eyes, like Scully's, seemingly intensified by his matching blue silk shirt. Doug's smile was infectious and his friendly tone of voice seemed genuine when he said hello. Mulder already didn't like him. He seemed too good to be true. Every minute he was in Doug's presence he was thankful that Doug didn't live in town.
Scully fairly beamed as she looked at Doug.
"Doug got in about an hour ago and says he is famished. You know airplanes these days, " she added, "no meals served any more, such as they were, just snacks. So," she turned to face Mulder, "I'm taking him out to dinner, and will probably give him a short tour of DC by night. Want to come?"
Fox knew when he wasn't wanted. Doug was smiling on the outside, but Fox was sure on the inside he wanted Dana all to himself. He knew that's how he'd feel if the situation were reversed. No, being a fifth wheel in this group would be no fun. Besides, he didn't want to listen to them reminisce all night about their good times together. And he didn't particularly want to make friends with Doug. Mulder wasn't the male bonding type.
Except for Scully these last five years, he had been a true loner. He liked it that way. At least, he had thought he liked it that way until she came into his life. Now he was content to let her into his secret circle of trust. He shared his thoughts and feelings with no other. She seemed to completely understand him, even if she didn't always agree with him. In fact, he thought to himself, she never agrees with me. He let that thought slip away as he realized he was expected to accept this gracious invitation.
"No, no," he said backing up and gathering his files from his desk. "You two go ahead and catch up on old times. I've still got plenty to do tonight concerning these files. I'll just take them home, order a pizza, and catch the game on ESPN tonight.
Good, Doug thought.
"Well, if you're sure," Scully responded. She began to feel uneasy. She could read Mulder's demeanor already. He didn't like Doug. And they think women are catty, she thought! Mulder hasn't even given him a chance!
Scully gathered her things as well, and the three of them walked to the parking garage together making meaningless small talk about the weather, Doug's flight, and his first impressions of Washington.
"I'll pick you up in the morning." Mulder had tried to sound casual as Scully got into Doug's sleek, rented Porsche. Mulder thought to himself, this man obviously goes first class! Scully buckled her shoulder strap and looked back at him.
"OK," she said. She paused before allowing Mulder to close the door for her. "Are you sure you don't want to come to dinner with us?" Scully was almost pleading with him to join them. She looked forward to spending time with Doug alone, but she didn't want Mulder to feel left out. On the other hand, deep in her heart, she knew if Mulder did join them, he wouldn't enjoy himself, and she would be constantly trying to balance the two of them in conversation. Conversation! Oh, Lord, another thought crept into Dana's mind. Mulder's conversation was not for the innocent and uninitiated! Doug would certainly think Mulder was a complete nut by the time dinner was over. Still, she hesitated, waiting for his answer.
Mulder stuffed his hands deep into his coat pockets. His fists were clenched and he tried to maintain an outward nonchalance.
"No, I'll be fine. You two go on. I'm sure you have a lot to say to each other. I'd just be in the way. Enjoy yourselves. I'll see you in the morning. Early." Mulder emphasized the last word hoping Doug would get the message not to stay out late with Scully.
Dana nodded and Mulder took his hands out of his pockets and carefully, but firmly, closed the door on both Dana and the discussion.
He watched them drive out of sight. Now that they were gone, he wished he was with them. At least then he would know for sure what was happening. He got into his own car and drove slowly. There was nothing to rush home for, he thought solemnly. There was nothing and no one waiting for him there.

"It's been a lovely evening," Dana assured Doug as he parked. "It's certainly been a far cry from the evenings out I usually have." She smiled. She thought of the few times she and Mulder had eaten together. To begin with, Mulder seemed to make it a personal challenge to find the most out-of-the way dining places with little or no menu appeal and no atmosphere. And then all his conversations consisted of ridiculous theories of extra terrestrials and supernatural phenomenon. He didn't seem to have a single grounded thought about this world. His ideas were always so preposterous to her. Couldn't he see the basic logic and science in every subject he brought up?
Doug interrupted her thoughts of Mulder. With a fake Texan accent he drawled, "Well, I'm glad to have been of service, ma'am." After a moments pause, he added in his normal voice, "You mean you and Mulder don't spend much time together outside of work?" He smiled deeper. "What's the matter, Mulder too cheap to take you out?"
Dana knew he was fishing. He wanted to know exactly what kind of relationship existed between her and Mulder. She didn't mind giving him clues that they were not an item. "No," she said. "We don't date. We don't have that kind of relationship." She paused, trying to decide how to put it.
"Mulder and I are very close. But not in an intimate way," she added quickly. She certainly didn't want Doug to get the wrong idea. "We have a oneness when we work as a team, but we aren't joined at the hip to each other."
She touched Doug's arm to reassure him she was enjoying being with him. "If we were like that at all, I wouldn't be out alone with you now."
"I like the sound of that," Doug murmured. He had been watching her speak, now and all through dinner. He loved looking at her, he always had. She was always so unfathomable. Those clear blue eyes of hers seldom revealed what she thought. They just took everything in and filed it away somewhere. No one really knew what she was thinking until she spoke. And then Dana was always careful not to offend, but to speak as objectively as possible.
Since she hadn't looked away while he was starring at her the last few moments, he sensed the moment was right. He leaned slowly towards her, watching her eyes until they closed as she anticipated and accepted his move, and then he kissed her. She tasted as he remembered. It was a combination of honey and strawberries. So sweet, so delicate. Doug began to think Mulder must be crazy, or gay, not to take advantage of his time with Dana.
They broke off the kiss. "Want to come up for some coffee," Dana asked softly, so as not to break the mood.
Doug shook his head. "No, I want to come up for breakfast, " he answered her truthfully. Dana searched his eyes for sincerity. He was dead serious. She didn't want to make a fool of herself if he was only kidding. She had enjoyed the evening, his company, and his kiss. While kissing, memories had flooded her brain; all of them good.
"OK," was all she said.

Scully's Apartment Building
Early Friday Morning

Mulder parked his car around the corner from Scully's apartment, the closest spot he could find. He got out, locked the door, and began walking briskly. He had not slept well last night, which in itself was not unusual. But last night he'd had added worries. It had been hard to keep his mind on the case files, and he had given up early in the evening. He kept wondering where Dana and Doug were, what they were doing, and if she was having a good time, or too good of a time.
He had barely managed to resist the urge to call her several times during the night, just to hear her voice. He was successful only because he couldn't think of anything to call her about that wouldn't end up making him look foolish. By constantly reminding himself that Doug would be leaving soon, he had finally been able to drift off to sleep in the wee hours of the morning.
He was determined not to start thinking about last night again this morning. Instead, he began to ponder several points about the case he wanted to follow up on today. As he rounded the corner of her apartment building he stopped to buy a newspaper. He skimmed the headlines, and then resumed his trek to Scully's. As he was approaching the doorway, he saw Scully coming out of the building, but she wasn't alone. Mulder pulled up short. He watched as she stood in the sheltered doorway of her building's entrance with Doug Tanslet. They had come out laughing. At 6:30 in the morning. Together. Mulder's mind was racing. What was Doug doing here so early in the morning coming out of Dana Scully's apartment building? He watched them a little longer. They were standing close together. They were standing damn close together, Mulder thought. He began to walk forward again. He could hear Scully's magical laugh floating towards him. He hardly ever got to hear that laugh. Rarely did they have much to laugh about at work. Mulder watched Dana rub her hand slowly up and down Doug's arm they continued talking.
Doug drew very close to Scully. Mulder couldn't tell if he was nuzzling her neck or whispering something in her ear. Either way, he didn't like it. Mulder felt his stomach tighten. Doug was acting very familiar with Scully. Worse, Fox's mind screamed at him, Scully was letting him! She was not a woman who flirted, and in the past he had witnessed Scully put men in their place with just a look when they had dared to invade her space. Doug was not getting that look now. Mulder began assessing the implications of what he was seeing.
The two stayed close together, talking in low tones and didn't see Mulder as he approached the bottom of the steps. They seemed to only have eyes for each other.
"Nice day for solving a case, isn't it?" Mulder spoke loudly to get their attention. It worked. They suddenly separated, both looking at Mulder in surprise.
"Oh!" Scully found her voice. "Mulder, I didn't see you walking this way," she stammered with a cheerful voice.
"I'm sure you didn't, what with Doug blocking your view of the entire world going by," Mulder replied sarcastically. Scully heard and understood his tone of voice. Being spoken to like that ticked Dana off. She had nothing to apologize for, and she wasn't going to. She was entitled to a life outside the bureau. And if Doug wanted to look her way and give her some attention, since no one else was her brain rationalized, then she was going to accept it!
Besides, it's not like he was a stranger to her. She and Doug had been very close in college, and they had been good for each other. Doug was one of the few men that Dana had slept with. She didn't regret it, in fact, she had extremely pleasant memories of their affair.
Still, she didn't want to make Mulder mad, either. After all, she had to work with him very closely every day. They were more than co-workers, and more than just friends. But beyond that, Dana didn't really know where they stood. There was no word that defined their relationship actually. Often their very lives depended on the extraordinary concern they had one for the other. It was what pushed them to move heaven and earth for each other in times of need. Concern. There was a interesting word. That probably was all Mulder felt for her. He had never outwardly expressed anything else but professional concern for her safety and well-being. None the less, she felt awkward being with another man in his company.
"We were just conversing," Scully shot back. "Doug has some very interesting input about the case we are working on." Shit. She shouldn't have said that!
"You told him about the case we are working on?" Mulder asked incredulously. Mulder was still working on the word "conversing" as an explanation of what he had just witnessed transpiring between Scully and Doug. Conversing my ass! But he wanted to keep her off balance while his own off balanced brain sorted through this new situation. The best way to do that was to take the offense.
Scully stepped forward. Anger showed in her face. Who was he to act like she and Doug were doing something they shouldn't? Who was he to accuse her of betraying a confidence about the case? This case was no secret - it was front page news for God's sake!
"Yes," she answered slowly and with extreme control, "I was asking his opinion about some of the anomalies that were found during the autopsy of the last victim. He is a pathologist, you know. I can hardly discuss these details with you." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Shit, again, she thought. Even she realized she had just crossed a line she shouldn't have.
Mulder's eyes narrowed just enough for Scully to see how angry, and how hurt he was by her statement. "Fine," was all he responded with at first. He looked past her to Doug. He added, "If he is more competent to discuss this case with you than me, I look forward to hearing that you two have solved it in record time. I'll just go back to the office and twiddle my thumbs till then." With that he turned on his heal and headed back to his car.
"Wait," Scully implored him. "Mulder," she tried again. But what could she say? She had embarrassed him by being condescending to him in front of someone else. What was she thinking? What had she done? She looked back at Doug as Mulder continued to walk towards his car. Doug stood with his hands in his pockets, as he had throughout their argument, just watching her, and he had a slight smile on his face. He had wisely not intruded on Scully and Mulder's heated exchange of words, even though he knew he was the cause of them. He couldn't help it if that thought appealed to him.
Scully now felt uncomfortable with Doug's eyes on her and what he had just witnessed between her and Mulder. Why did she care what Mulder thought? Why did she now care what Doug was thinking? "I'm sorry," was all she could think of to say at the moment, as if that covered everything. "We usually get along very well. I don't know what came over us," she added.
"You don't?" Doug asked laughingly. "That's funny, because I do!" He was smiling broadly at her.
Dana waited for his explanation.
"Mulder thinks you're his, and that I am horning in on his territory."
This flabbergasted Dana. "What do you mean?" she asked, eyes wide. "Mulder and I just work together. He doesn't have feelings like that for me." Dana found a small part of her momentarily wishing he did. What was she thinking!
Doug stepped down to her side. He wasn't going to argue with Scully. He knew how tenacious she could be. He had planted a seed. She would think about it, and if she wanted to discuss it later, she would. "I'll take you to work since it looks like you've missed your bus," was all he said. He hooked his arm around her waist and pointed her in the direction of his car.
She allowed him to steer her. She refused to speak about what he had said, but that didn't keep her mind from pondering it as they made their way downtown.

End of part 1 of 4
********************************

Twenty minutes later she was getting out of the car. She leaned down by his open window. "Thanks for the ride," she said.
"You do remember the dinner tonight at the convention, don't you?" Doug asked.
Dana didn't know what to say. She really felt confused at this moment. She truly enjoyed Doug and how he treated her. He made her feel warm and special. However, she had conflicting emotions about how Mulder would feel about their going out again. Her head began to hurt.
She gave Doug the safe answer. "I'm not sure what today will bring. Sometimes we get so involved in a case, we work until midnight." She paused, hoping he would take the hint and let her back out. He didn't. He just stared at her luscious lips.
Scully tried again, "And now that I've ruffled Mulder's feathers, I'll have to spend extra time smoothing them out so we can get some work done. He can be awfully moody."
Still no response from Doug. He waited patiently. He wasn't going to help her out of the situation.
"I'll call you later and let you know what my schedule is," Scully countered with. "Will that be all right?" She looked hopeful.
Doug smiled, "Sure, whatever works for you."
Scully was amazed. When was the last time Mulder was willing to work around her schedule? She always had to do things his way, on his time table, or be left behind. Dana smiled. "Thanks. And thanks again for the ride. I'll call you later, OK?" She leaned down to kiss him good by on the cheek. He made a sudden movement and she found her lips on his. She closed her eyes and savored the moment. It was a sweet, tender kiss. She began to tingle all over. She lingered for a moment, then stepped back. "Bye."
Doug waved his hand out the window as he drove off. Dana turned towards the front door of the FBI building and mentally began preparing herself for the confrontation that was going to come. She knew Mulder wouldn't let it go. He would sulk at his desk and ignore her until she finally brought the subject up. He would then make sarcastic noises like he didn't care and wasn't interested at all in her explanation. Eventually he would see she was apologizing for that awful statement she had made to him, and he would give in and their working relationship would continue.
God, Scully thought, it's like we're married, and I already know how to handle the little shit. He certainly was a typical male. Well, her brain countered, maybe not exactly typical. No, she had to admit, there were many special qualities to Mulder that took him out of the typical male mold. She smiled to herself. Could Mulder have been jealous this morning? As if! her brain threw back at her.
When she arrived at their basement office, he was sitting sideways at his desk with a file folder in his lap, an expression of deep thought written on his face. He didn't even look up when she came in. Scully had expected as much. She had wounded him pretty bad this morning, and she really didn't blame him for thinking ill of her actions.
Scully laid her briefcase and purse on top of her desk. She walked out to the break room and brought back two steaming cups of coffee. One black, the way she liked it, and one with sugar and cream for Mulder. She crossed over to his desk and held out the cup of coffee. Still he didn't look up or acknowledge her. She placed the cup on his desk.
"Here," she said. "You look like you could use a cup of coffee," she tried for an opening statement.
Mulder raised his head to look her square in the face. "No, thanks." He lowered his head back towards his lap. It was not the words that stung Scully, it was his look of utter contempt as he said the words.
Mulder quietly added, "I see you're back already. Finish solving the case so soon? Where's the boy wonder?"
Scully knew she deserved his contempt, but it still hurt. She wanted this situation cleared up as soon as possible. "Mulder," she said in her most conciliatory voice. No movement from him. "Mulder, please look at me." No reaction. Scully sighed. Yep, she was going to have to do this his way. She set her coffee down next to his and moved around to the side of the desk to directly face his chair. As best she could in her tight skirt and heels, she squatted down in front of him until she was below his eye level. She placed one hand on the arm of his chair and one on his knee for balance. "Mulder," she began again.
But she had already gotten his attention the moment she touched him. Even as angry as he was at her right now he could not keep his body from tingling where she touched him. He shifted his eyes to meet hers, his only acknowledgment of having heard her.
"I am so sorry for what I said. You know how much I think of you. You know how much, in truth, I confide in you and trust your instincts and your ability to solve the most difficult and complicated of cases." She studied his face to make sure he was really listening to her, that he hadn't mentally shut her out. He only silently blinked back at her.
While Mulder outwardly appeared calm, inside, his brain was going full speed ahead. There, she apologized, what more do you want? How can you let her go on? Forgive her and make up.
She continued. "I didn't mean it. You know I didn't. I don't know why I said it." Scully paused. Guilt at hiding even this little truth from him nibbled at her. She began again, "Well, actually, I was angry at what your tone of voice was implying about Doug and I."
As Scully was speaking, she was absentmindedly moving her fingertips in a circular motion on Mulder's knee.
He could hardly concentrate on what she was saying. Oh, her touch is wonderful. No, don't think like that. But it is. Stop. But... STOP! Listen to what she is saying. Did she just say it was my fault that she lashed out at me?
"What?" Mulder felt he needed some clarification. He placed the file on his desk and leaned forward a little to give her his full attention.
Scully cleared her throat. She realized she might just have said too much. Her thoughts seemed jumbled now. Part of her wanted to take back what she had just said. No, she decided. We only have the truth between us to depend on. I will tell him the whole truth.
Scully's sharp blue eyes never wavered, but her voice continued to be gentle, trying not to put Mulder off. "I just felt like you were judging Doug and our," she paused searching for a suitable word, "relationship."
Scully stood up and walked over to the office door and shut it. She suspected she wasn't going to want any passer by in the next few minutes to overhear the rest of this conversation. She leaned back against the closed door and faced Mulder.
He was having a hard time controlling his temper at this moment. As he understood the situation, she had just accused him of improper judgment, poor behavior, being overbearing, *and* it being his fault she had insulted him in the first place! This was too much! He began to think of an offense again.
"I'm not sure I understand," he began. "You come out of your apartment early in the morning, with a man you haven't seen since college, laughing, touching, and I'm not supposed to infer anything from that?" His voice was terse.
Dana began to get angry again. No one owned her. "It's none of your business whom I spend time with, or how I spend time with them, outside this office. You didn't have to get sarcastic and uppity when you spoke to us this morning." She crossed her arms in front of her chest in defiance.
The psychologist in Mulder recognized she was closing herself off to him and whatever he had to say. He didn't care, he would make her hear him.
"What do you care what happens in my life, Mulder?" she continued. "Are you really interested in who I am outside of this job?"
Mulder's brain was screaming, what is she saying? How can she not know her whole life is my concern? Doesn't she know how many times I died when she was missing? Doesn't she know how many tears I have shed over her? Can it be such an unknown to her? No, his brain screamed. Has she not seen me move heaven and earth to protect her over the last five years? What can she be saying?
Scully continued, "When you arrived this morning Doug was reminding me of a funny story that happened at college. I don't know why you got so hot and bothered. We were only conversing."
Suddenly Mulder stood up and swiftly crossed the distance between them. He was toe to toe with her when he stopped. "Is this what you mean when you say you and he were only conversing, Agent Scully?" Mulder asked. There was an angry emphasis on the words 'Agent Scully'. The suddenness of his movement and the anger in his voice caught Scully off-guard. She instinctively tried to back up, but she was already leaning against the closed door. There was no place to go. He roughly fondled her hair.
He continued, "When you converse, does he stand close to you and run his fingers through your hair and tell you how silky it is, Agent Scully?"
Dana was furious! How dare he be jealous! How dare he insinuate that she was his and his alone. "Yes," she spit out at him, more to aggravate him than to tell the truth. Her answer inflamed Mulder's senses.
He bent his head close to her neck, drinking in her unique scent. As he did so, his lips grazed her skin, sending a shiver down her body. He was still speaking sarcastically, but his voice was softer now, "And does he tell you how your perfume reminds him of a hot Caribbean night, Agent Scully?" He spit her name out again.
"Yes," Dana angrily spoke again, her body rigid now, trying to maintain control. She was livid at his actions! If he wanted to hear what he thought were details between she and Doug, then she was going to accommodate him! She had plenty to tell.
Mulder shifted his body against hers, pressing her fully against the door. Scully could feel every inch of him. "When you are conversing, does he pull you close to him," he slipped his arm behind her waist and pulled her abruptly against him as he spoke, "And tell you how beautiful you are, Scully?" His face was just millimeters from hers. She stared him down.
"Yes," she replied matter of fact.
Mulder brought his other hand up to caress her cheek. His voice was extremely low and soft now, but very tight. Scully could sense the volatility beneath the words. "And does he tell you how your eyes see through him to his very soul, and how they haunt him day and night, even in his dreams?"
Scully answered a little slower and softer herself, "Yes." She looked into Mulder's hazel eyes, and she saw pain, and frustration; but she also was beginning to see longing mixed in with the hurt, and for a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of desire. Pressed as she was to Mulder's body, she was suddenly aware of his shallow, quick breathing.
Mulder continued to touch her face, gliding the back of his hand over her pale cheek, speaking even softer and more intimately now. The sarcasm was gone from his voice, "And when you converse, does he tell you how his heart beats so fast sometimes that he fears he might die if he can't have you, Scully?"
"Yes," she answered in a whisper, fearful of his going on, yet even more fearful he might stop. Something was happening to her body. She began to feel a warm rush even as another shiver ran through her. Her pulse was racing.
Time seemed to stop for a moment as they looked deep into each others eyes, each trying desperately to understand the other, and hoping they themselves were being understood.
Mulder's hand moved to her mouth and traced the outline of her lips with his fingertip. Dana's ice blue eyes tried to read his next move. Her stomach was doing flip-flops in anticipation. She suddenly realized she was holding her breath. Breath, Dana, breath, she mentally told herself.
Mulder slid his hand behind her neck and tilted her face even more towards his. He placed his lips so close to hers only a layer of lipstick separated them. His lips brushed hers as they formed the whispered words, "And does he tell you how your lips drive him insane with the desire to kiss you, Dana?"
As if it were a life force in itself, Mulder had breathed her name into her partially open lips. She thought she might melt right then and there. His breath was warm and exciting.
"Yes," she obediently answered. She hungered for him to kiss her. Her very being was screaming out for him to kiss her, couldn't he hear her! But he didn't kiss her. He stayed right there, a mere breath away.
Mulder hesitated. What am I doing? His senses, the few that he was still aware of, were begging him to stop. This is not right! This is not the place!
Scully could stand the prolonged moment no longer. What is he waiting for, her mind asked over and over. As he hovered maddeningly above her, she stood on tip-toe to close the distance between them and force their lips to meet.
The sensation of Scully's soft, wet lips on his was too much for Mulder. He suddenly exploded inside. He was angry at Doug for making a move so quickly for Dana. He was angry with her for allowing him to do so. He was angry at himself for the way he was behaving. But there was no stopping now. He'd show her he knew how to play the game as well as Doug.
His hand behind her neck held her tightly to him as he savagely probed her sweet tasting mouth with his tongue. His mind pleaded with him to stop. This was not the way to kiss Scully! It should be tender, full of the love and passion he had for her inside, not full of his anger and sexual frustration.
Scully's eyes flew open only to find Mulder watching her. She tried to pull away as the kiss became unpleasant. She felt like she was being assaulted, not loved! But Fox held her tight in his grip, and the door kept her from backing away from him. She brought her hands up to his chest and tried to push him away from her. He easily held her to him. Still he brutally continued to kiss her. Scully was angry now! She was about to bring her knee up between his legs when suddenly there were a knock on the door she was imprisoned by. It was so loud and so sudden both of them jumped. It startled Mulder enough for Scully to squirm away from his grasp. Gasping for air, her eyes hurling daggers at him, she tried to smooth her hair and find her voice all at the same time.
"Yes, just a moment," she called to whom ever was behind the door. Mulder, shocked at his own rash behavior, turned his back on her and quickly crossed to the bookcase. One hand was surreptitiously wiping her lipstick from his mouth. He pretended to be looking for a particular book as she opened the door.
It was Skinner.

End Part 2 of 4 parts

****************************************

"Agent Scully, Agent Mulder," Skinner nodded his head in their direction, his eyes taking in everything. The tension might as well have been a fourth person in the room, so manifested was it's presence. He didn't ask what was going on between them, or even why the door was closed. He could see Scully's flushed cheeks. And her smeared lipstick was a dead give away. The fact that Mulder wouldn't even turn and acknowledge his presence spoke volumes as well.
"Excuse me, sir," Scully broke in, "I'll be right back." She grabbed her purse and ducked her head as she brushed past him heading for the ladies' room.
"Are you feeling all right, Agent Scully?" Skinner called after her.
Scully didn't trust herself to speak and just nodded her head as she hit the rest room door with the heel of her hand and scooted inside as quickly as she could.
Scully examined her reflection in the mirror. She was appalled by what she saw. Her hair was in disarray, her face was an unnatural shade of deep crimson. She wasn't sure if it was from the blood that had coursed hotly through her body a few moments ago, or the shame she felt in having Skinner discover them. Oh! She was so angry right now! How could she ever have thought Mulder cared for her in the slightest? How could she have fallen under his spell just now, only to end up being treated so harshly and cruelly? She felt like a jerk for having imagined him in the past to be a gentle and caring lover. He is as selfish in love as he is in his life, she thought bitterly. No wonder he spends so much time with his porn videos and magazines! No woman in her right mind would want to be treated like he had just treated her.
Scully opened her purse and began to put herself back together. She tried to calm her temper as she arranged her outward appearance.
Meanwhile, Skinner was trying to decide how to approach Mulder. He began by turning back to face Mulder's direction. Mulder continued to face the bookcase. Skinner moved into the room and stood in front of Mulder's desk. Skinner knew most people were uncomfortable with silence, so he just stood there. It didn't take long before Mulder knew he had to turn around and face his superior, or appear incredibly rude or insubordinate.
"Ah, yes, sir," Mulder began. "Was there something we could do for you?" He sat down behind his desk. Skinner just hovered over him, staring and waiting. Mulder pushed some papers and files around on his desk. Finally, he looked up at Skinner.
Skinner wasn't the Assistant Director of the FBI without reason. Not only was he highly intelligent, but he possessed many people management skills. Getting people to talk to him when they didn't want to was his forte. "Is there something you would like to get off your chest, Agent Mulder," he began slowly, choosing his words deliberately.
Mulder shook his head slowly from side to side, pursing his lips into a frown. He didn't trust himself to speak. He was still trying to calm down from the past ten minutes of intense anger and desire both trying to rule his body at the same time.
Skinner looked Mulder over. He could see Mulder was disgusted with himself and knew this wasn't the time to press him. Mulder was an extremely touchy person when someone tried to invade his space, and could get very aggressive if pushed. Skinner opened his mouth to speak a few words of wisdom, but at that moment Scully returned to the office.
Skinner heard her come in and turned to face her. She looked composed and natural. Her skin was no longer flushed, and her make up had been repaired. She sat down behind her small desk and looked at him inquiringly as to why he had come. Other people might wonder if they had really just seen what they thought they had seen between these two people. Skinner knew better.
"Well," Skinner cleared his throat. "This new report just came in about the case, and I had to come down to the lab for a meeting, so I thought I would drop it off for you to study." Looking her straight in the eye, he held out a thin manila folder to Dana.
Scully reached out and took it from him. "Thank you, sir. We'll get right on it." Scully opened the folder and pretended to study what was inside. Skinner looked at her, then at Mulder, who was again vaguely studying the papers already on his desk. He looked back at Scully.
"Look, you two," Skinner began. Both sets of eyes came up to meet his. "I don't know what just happened here, but I bet I can give you a pretty good guess." Both sets of eyes went back down to their desks. "Whatever is standing between you unsaid, I want it cleared up, and I want it cleared up today. I won't have two of my best agents sulking or fighting with each other while a serial killer is running amuck in this town. Whatever it is, grow up and get over it." Skinner paused for a response. He got none.
"Is what I said clear to both of you?" he asked.
"Yes, sir."
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now get on with your work and I expect a report on my desk by the end of the day detailing what you have accomplished on this case." Skinner turned on his heel and walked out of the door and down the hall to the lab.
Scully and Mulder sat quietly, as before. Neither moved or spoke for several minutes.
Well, Scully thought, Skinner is right. We are acting like children. We are adults. We can act like adults. Mentally, she began to prepare herself to reason with Mulder. She knew this wasn't Mulder's usual reaction to the men she saw. She had dated occasionally in the past since they had been working together. He usually seemed quite amused at her efforts to live a normal life. What was different now, she wondered.
"OK," Scully finally said aloud. "Skinner's right. We need to work together to get past this misunderstanding, and get on with our jobs." She looked up at Mulder for his response.
Mulder looked at her. Little Miss Control, he thought. She always needs to be in control. She has no idea how she controls my thoughts these days. It's just like her to want to lead the discussion. Women want to talk too much. She knows what's wrong, Mulder thought to himself.
Scully tried again. "What do you think, Mulder?" She crossed over to his desk to close the physical gap between them, hoping it would make it easier for him to talk. However, she decided to keep the desk between them this time.
I think I want to kill Doug, Mulder said to himself, and then I want to kill myself for behaving the way I did to Scully. I let him get to me. I let my imagination take over when I saw them together this morning.
"What is your problem?" Scully asked him again in her still reasonably calm voice. Mulder just stared at her. The answer was obvious, he thought. He sat silent, staring unseeing at his desk, contemplating what an ass he had just been. He was embarrassed, but he knew he needed to know the answer to one specific question.
"Is it Doug?" Scully pressed.
Hell, yes, it was Doug, Mulder wanted to scream at her. What right did he have to come back now and walk right back into Scully's life. He was in her past. I am in her present, Mulder reasoned to himself. A tiny part of his brain whispered to him, and her future!
Mulder raised his head to stare into her incredible eyes. Still he said nothing. He didn't trust himself to speak to her. He had already made himself out to be a fool once today. He lowered his eyes back to his desk.
"Mulder," Scully tried again to coax him. "Nothing will be solved if we don't talk about it." She leaned toward him as she spoke, her hands now resting on his desk top. "What is so different about Doug that you take issue with me being with him?"
You want to talk, ok, we'll talk, Mulder thought to himself.
"Did you sleep with him last night, Scully?" he said quietly without looking up at her, and with a lot of control, he thought.
Scully's eyes widened in surprise. "What?" was all she managed to get out. She hadn't imagined Fox would be so direct with her so quickly. She figured he would dance around the question without every really coming out and asking it. Without a direct question, she thought she would never have to actually give a direct answer.
"Did you sleep with him?" Mulder asked again, his voice louder and more intense. He was irritated. She had heard the question. He didn't like saying it the first time, and now she was making him repeat it! Mulder deep inside, knew she was stalling for time, but he didn't want to acknowledge that thought because it logically led to another thought; the reason why she was stalling. "Don't think I didn't notice he was wearing the same shirt and suit this morning he was wearing last night when you went out."
"Mulder," Scully began an offense, "I don't think that's any of your business. I don't go around asking you who you sleep with," she tried to counter. Pictures of Phoebe immediately flashed through her brain. But then, so did pictures of Ed.
Suddenly, she couldn't look at him any more. Guilt began to wash over her. She turned her back on him and began to walk away. Abruptly, Mulder jumped to his feet, grabbed her arm from across the desk and jerked her back around to face him. He would have his answer, one way or another. He had to know.
"Mulder!" Scully exclaimed. "You're hurting me!" She tried to wiggle away from his grasp, but he held her firmly.
"Did you sleep with him?" Mulder practically yelled at her now.
Scully's temper flared. "Who do you think you are, treating me this way?" she spat out. "You don't own me, or tell me what I can and can't do." Scully couldn't stop the words from coming now. "Yes, I slept with Doug last night!" She wanted to hurt Mulder emotionally like he was hurting her physically. She wanted to be back in control. She decided what she did with her life, not him! And, by God, if it took everything in her, she would prove that to him right now.
"And you know what, Mulder?" She could feel herself smirking. "It was wonderful, sensational even! I've never known a lover like Doug. Having a man beside me, Mulder, and *inside me*, who was tender and actually cared about what I wanted, and not his own personal agenda, was the most exciting thing of all! That's right," the words continued to roll off her tongue with ease as she did her best to cut him to the core, "Doug is a great lover, and we spent the whole night pleasing each other!
"There! Is that what you wanted to hear?" Dana spoke vehemently now. "Are you satisfied now or do you want even more intimate details like you get with your damn videos? Do you want me to tell you what we did? Do you want to hear the ways I satisfied him? " Her eyes, flashing with anger and refusing to acknowledge the pain in his, dared him to say yes.
Her words struck him like a battering ram. He felt as if he couldn't breath. He felt a gut wrenching pain in his stomach. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. "No!" he shouted with tremendous power as rage racked his body. He let go of Scully, turned, and smashed his fist through the wall.
Scully backed up, her eyes and mouth opened wide in shock at Mulder's reaction.
Mulder grimaced and tried to shake the pain from his hand. What is wrong with me? His brain was no longer functioning in normal mode. He felt confused and disoriented. He didn't understand his emotions and reactions. But he knew he had to get away from here. He couldn't even look at her any more. Whether it was from the shame he felt for his own actions or from the displeasure he had for her confession, he didn't know. Without looking at Scully he scooped up the files on his desk and walked out the door. There'd be no work done here today.
Scully watched him leave the office with eyes still wide. She had seen Mulder's temper flair dangerously many times. But it had never been directed at her. It was a scary thing to see. She continued to stare out the door for several minutes. She didn't know what she expected to happen now, especially since this morning had been like no other she had ever known. Finally she sat back down at her desk to regain control of herself and her emotions.
It's just like Mulder to run off, she thought, not only leaving things unsettled between us, but he also leaves me to work on the case alone. She looked down at the papers on her desk. She looked at the clock on the wall. It was time to get down to business. Skinner would be expecting a show of work by the end of the day. She wasn't going to let her ass be pulled down by Mulder's childish actions and lack of responsibility.

Friday
5:15pm

Scully pulled the report she had just typed from the printer tray. She had explored several avenues in the serial murder case and had at least eliminated some suspects from their list. By plowing through old file records and computer data bases, she had tracked down which suspects were still in prison, which ones had relocated to other states, and which ones had died since last being checked up on. By making phone call after phone call and waiting endlessly on hold she had managed to narrow the list down even more. She had eliminated quite a lot from their very long list of things to follow-up on.
Her cell phone rang.
"Agent Scully."
"It's me," she heard Mulder on the other end.
Scully sucked in her breath quietly. Now what?
"I investigated a couple of leads today. Some of them need more follow-up work, too." His voice relayed the information with no trace of the animosity that had been between them when they had parted this morning. "They are being faxed to you right now so you can include them in your report to Skinner."
That was it, Scully thought? What was she supposed to do with her report now? Drop everything and rewrite it just because Mulder had decided to let her know now what was going on, without a word from him all day? Fat chance.
"Scully?" Mulder waited for a reply.
Scully's voice was flat and no nonsense. "I've already typed my report and am on my way up to see Skinner. You should have contacted me earlier and let me know you had accomplished something today."
Mulder knew she was right. He had intentionally spent the day trying to avoid her. He hadn't wanted to think about their discussions either. The best way to do that, he knew, was to work. He had decided to attack the case from another angle and throughout the day he had chased down several leads. "Oh," was all he said at first.
"Well," he continued, "can you just put my fax with your report and tell Skinner we were working separately today?" He was trying to appease her and keep his job.
"Fine." Secretly she was glad. Now if Skinner asked her if they had solved their problem she could truthfully tell him they hadn't had a chance. She paused a moment. Mulder didn't seem to have anything else to say. So she hung up.
"Scul...," Mulder never got to finish. He had hesitated too long. He had wanted to say he was sorry and could they meet and talk things out. He looked at the dead phone in his hand. Well, he thought, I'll just go over to her place later and apologize.

Friday
7:30pm

Mulder parked his car directly in front of Scully's apartment building. What luck, he thought. He rarely got a spot this close. He turned off the ignition and started to open the car door. As he did so, he glanced at Scully's building and saw her coming out with Doug.
She was as he had never seen her before. Her fiery red hair was pulled up in a stylish french twist revealing her graceful neck. But it was the deep blue, formal length gown that threatened to take his breath away. It was skin tight, and cut low, exposing a deep cleft between her breasts, and he noticed the thigh high slit with even greater interest. Threads of silver had been woven into the material so that with each tiny movement she made, his eye was drawn to her as the light sparkled, glittered and reflected off her body. To help balance her height against Doug's, she was wearing silver, open-toed, high heels with straps.
If Mulder had ever doubted, here was undeniable proof that she was every inch a woman. Her every curve was accentuated by the material that clung to her body for support. It was always so hard to discern what kind of a figure Scully had under the mannish suits or pants outfits that she wore to work. That was the way she wanted it. She was always trying to make people forget she was a woman with a brain doing what most perceived to be a man's job; to be more easily accepted into the boy's clubs that, in general, the FBI and law enforcement agencies were.
Mulder's heart sank. He slapped the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. Damn! He had forgotten she was attending the banquet tonight with Doug. Mulder watched Doug place his arm around Dana's small waist as they walked to his car. They were laughing. Mulder wanted to cry.
I will just have to catch her later tonight, he thought. I can't let any more time go by without apologizing to her and making things right between us. Mulder started the car again and drove off. He eventually found himself parked at a sports bar that he and Scully had occasionally frequented after work. He got out and went in to watch the Knicks game, have a beer or two, and bide his time.
"Hey, where's that good looking red head you're usually with?" Sheila asked as she placed Mulder's beer in front of him.
Fox didn't reply. His look said it all. Sheila had worked in bars long enough to know when not to bother people. She patted him sympathetically on his shoulder as she left his table.
Hours later Mulder checked his watch for the hundredth time. He didn't even remember who had won the game. His eyes had stared at the giant television screen, but his mind had been working on his dilemma.
He needed to think about what he'd say to Scully tonight. First, of course, he was definitely going to apologize for touching and kissing her with such anger and disregard this morning. He hated himself for doing that. He had always thought men that forced themselves or their actions on women were despicable. What he had done was inexcusable, regardless of whatever reasons he thought he had at the time.
She was right. He didn't own her. He had no say in what she did, or with whom. They had never declared their affection or commitment to each other. He just assumed that they would turn to no other.
What a fool I am, he mused! Some psychologist! I've read enough books to know that women need affirmation, security, and professions of love and attention. Did I really think Scully would just sit around and wait forever for me to find my sister, expose some government conspiracies, and solve all the other problems that come up day after day, with never any words or actions that would assure her there would be a time for us? Apparently so, you schmuck, his brain taunted him.
The problem now was how to proceed. He valued the working relationship they had now. They were unfettered with the cares and problems of lovers. There was no one-upmanship between them. They were a unit that could work effectively apart, yet return to think and act as one, as well.
He thought Scully appreciated how well they worked together, too. What could he say to let Scully know what was in his heart without putting them a step further down the path of a more personal and intimate relationship? Should he say anything at all about how he felt about her as an explanation for his actions this morning? Or should he just apologize and hope she understood, as she always seemed to.
It is put up or shut up time, he thought. Either speak my mind and tell her I want her for myself and change our working relationship forever, or tell her nothing and have her go on with her life, perhaps without me. Can I be content to just work professionally with her? Several small ugly thoughts worked their way into his brain. What if she doesn't feel the same way I do? Obviously, if she were interested in me, she wouldn't be with Doug now. And what will I do if she decides to continue being with Doug, or to see other men? Can I live with that decision if I make her choose? My actions this afternoon pretty much say no to that, he thought.
It was thinking about Scully being with other men that Mulder had spent a large part of the evening commiserating over. His imagination had tortured him with mental images of Scully and Doug. Thoughts of Ed had entered, too, as well as several other men he knew of that Scully had dated. Had she slept with them, too? He tried desperately to purge them from his brain. He literally couldn't stand the thought of anyone else touching Dana, pleasing her, losing themselves in her kisses, or receiving her favors in return. He imagined she and Doug touching and exploring each other as vividly as if he were watching a video. He felt himself getting angry all over again. He ordered another beer.
But what choices do I actually have? Mulder almost laughed out loud to himself. Choices? Choices? Rather arrogant of me to assume I have any choices! She obviously has showered Doug with her attentions, not me. Perhaps she has already made the choice for us. Mulder's mental tug of war continued for several hours. By the time Fox was ready to leave, he was physically as weary as if he'd run a 10K. But he had decided upon the only course of action he felt he could take. He just hoped he could actually pull it off.
Mulder paid his bill and left. He drove by Scully's apartment and checked her window. The light was still off. He checked his watch again: 11:15pm. He decided to wait for Scully to arrive. Surely she wouldn't be much longer. How much dining and dancing can one do, he thought. He refused to entertain the notion that Scully might not come home tonight, that she might go to Doug's hotel instead. She would come home he insisted to himself.

End part 3 of 4 parts
*********************************************

Mulder was jolted awake by the sound of car doors slamming and loud voices breaking the relative silence of the night. He realized he had dozed off. He glanced at his watch: 1:30am. He looked out the window. She was home, and so was Doug. Scully was fumbling in her purse for the key to the building's secure front door. The light over the doorway gave Mulder a perfect view. Scully and Doug were laughing a lot at something, Mulder wondered what they found to laugh about all the time.
Scully dropped her purse and the contents went everywhere. She giggled and started to bend over to retrieve the items. Mulder saw that she was unsteady on her feet. She wisely decided to lean back against the building for support before she fell over. He saw one of the gown's spaghetti straps slip off her shoulder. As it fell, it pulled down a corner of the gown that was guarding her breast. Even from where Mulder was sitting he could see a portion of the delicate alabaster skin revealed. She didn't move to fix it, she didn't even notice it. She had a foolish grin on her face as she just looked at the ground.
I believe Scully's a little tipsy, Mulder's discerning eye detailed.
Doug bent over and quickly picked everything up for her. He stood up and handed Scully her purse. Their eyes locked. He touched her shoulder and ran his hand over her bare skin and up her creamy neck. Mulder sat up straighter in the car, watching intently. Scully made no move to stop him. Instead, she leaned into him and they kissed. It was a deep kiss and their bodies melted one into the other until Fox could not tell them apart in the shadows. At first he watched in fascination, then turned away. He felt as if he were intruding. Funny, he thought, I never minded being a voyeur before. When he looked back, Doug was putting the key into the lock and Mulder watched them go inside together.
Now what? Mulder pondered. He supposed he knew what was going to happen next. Damned if he was going to go up there now! He didn't want Scully to accuse him of spying on her, or suggesting that he was there to break them up. He sat still for a moment longer and saw a light go on. It was the kitchen light. Then he saw a dimmer light appear in the living room window. He knew it was the small lamp by the bookcase. The kitchen light went out. He imagined them both in the living room now, perhaps having a night cap. Thank God I can't see her bedroom light from here, Mulder thought! I don't want to see it go on and then off. He mentally shuddered.
Time to get moving, his mind told him. He started the car and drove off. Where to? He was definitely wide-awake now. There would be no more sleep tonight.

Scully was half sitting and half lying on the couch. She held a crystal wine glass, now half empty. She rolled the wine around in her mouth before swallowing it. It tasted sweet and light. She felt the effects of the wine go straight to her head.
Scully rarely drank anything other than diet drinks or water. She didn't really know how many glasses of wine she'd had tonight. But she did know the evening had been wonderful. At the banquet a sumptuous buffet had tantalized her taste buds. An orchestra had played during dinner providing an excellent backdrop for their conversations. She and Doug had been seated at a table with six other people, and each of them had been of such interest! It had been a long time since Scully had talked with people who had equal or greater knowledge than herself in the field of pathology. It had been very stimulating to hear of their work, and some of the new techniques they had tried.
But most of all, Doug had been extremely attentive to her all night. He had gone out of his way to make her comfortable in every situation. She thought of how he had touched her throughout the night, both mentally and physically. He had taken the time to ask about her thoughts on subjects, as well as introduce her to his circle of acquaintances from the convention. He had held her close when they danced and whispered sexy suggestions in her ear. He had complimented her repeatedly on how beautiful she looked. She found herself unable to remember the last time Mulder had said something complimentary about her looks, though he occasionally praised her work. No, she told herself, don't think about Mulder, focus on Doug. She brought her mind back to the present.
Doug was selecting some music from her CD rack. She was slightly embarrassed to have him looking over her collection. It was hardly up to date. When did she have time to listen to the newest music, let alone shop for it! He turned back to face her, his choice in his hand.
"I see you have found my one and only instrumental CD," she said sheepishly.
Doug smiled. He wasn't going to mention how meager her collection seemed to be. He had found what he was looking for; something soft and romantic. He put the CD in the player and adjusted the volume before crossing over to the couch and sitting down next to her. Dana rested her head in his lap. As she laid down she felt a floating sensation. It was very peaceful and relaxing. She giggled.
Where did that come from, she asked herself. In a far away corner of her brain, she was aware that she was not one hundred percent in control.
Doug carefully brushed her bangs aside. "Your eyes are incredible," be began. If they are so incredible, how come Mulder never notices them, she wondered.
"The better to see you with," Dana countered, feeling foolish and clever all at the same time.
"Oh, so are you the big bad wolf?"
"Yes, and if you aren't careful, I might eat you up!" she laughed aloud again. Get a hold of yourself, her brain shrieked!
"Well, now, that wouldn't be so bad, would it?" Doug's hand traced her lips. God, that is the second time today someone has touched my lips, Dana thought. Her pulse began to quicken as she remembered Fox's touch.
Think, she told herself, about Doug! He's here. Now. Pay attention!
She eyed Doug. "Oh, I don't know. With all those clothes on, you look like you might taste a little dry to me. Take off your jacket," Scully said. Dana sat up and finished her wine as Doug took off he jacket and loosened his tie. She then carefully set her wine glass down on the coffee table before scooting closer to him. As he settled back on the couch she tried to focus her eyes on his face. Mulder! She widened her eyes and blinked a few times. No, her eyes told her now, it is Doug.
"Are you all right," Doug asked. "You don't look well." His voice showed his concern for her.
"I'm fine," she tried to assure him, "I'm just fine. I think I sat up a little too fast, that's all. I'm afraid all this wine has definitely gone to my head. I don't usually drink," but I've had a hell of a day, her brain finished for her. "I'm OK, really. In fact," Scully touched his face, "let me show you just how fine I am."
She slid her hands to his shirt and began to unbutton the top few buttons. Her hands slipped inside and caressed his skin. Doug smiled and relaxed. He enjoyed her touch. She moved her hands up to either side of his face and she gently coaxed him to come closer to her. Their lips met and Dana sank into a bliss she hadn't known in a long time. She was completely comfortable and willing to share herself with Doug again tonight. It had been so long since she'd loved someone physically. She felt the hunger within her body give rise to a sense of urgency. The kiss that began so softly now became a driving force.
Pulling Doug with her, Scully leaned backward on the cushions. He didn't need any hints. His hands touched her sides and brought shivers to her body despite the heat she was feeling. She allowed his hands to roam freely over her. His lips left hers and began to revisit the places he knew delighted her. How come Mulder doesn't know these spots, Dana asked herself.
He kissed a spot behind her ear that gave her goose bumps all the way down to her toes. Her head was swimming from the alcohol and the increased pumping of her blood coursing through her body. Soft, pleasurable moans escaped her unoccupied lips now. His tongue was exploring her ear, touching those oh, so sensitive spots inside. His weight on top of her was exciting and welcome. Scully thought of Mulder pulling her close to him this morning. She had felt him and his need and it had excited her.
As Doug's lips moved down her neck, she felt his hands pushing the straps of her gown off her shoulders. He kissed her softly scented skin again and again. Her breathing was rapid now in anticipation of things to come. His hand found the zipper on the side of her dress and as he slid it down his lips returned to hers. He kissed her deeply. Scully, eyes closed, drunk now on his attention and caresses, kissed him back hard.
Doug drew back after a moment to catch his breath. He stared at Dana's perfect face and marveled at how long and dark her lashes were as they laid upon her cheeks. He silently willed her to open her eyes so that she might see into him and acknowledge this final step as being something she also wanted. But her eyes remained closed, she was deep in her foggy mind, remembering the flicker of desire she had seen in Fox's eyes. Doug began to slip her gown off. "Don't stop kissing me," she breathed with great effort.
Doug bent down to oblige her wishes as he continued to undress her. "So, you want my kisses, huh?" he teased.
"Yes, Mulder, I want you to kiss me," she answered.
Doug froze.
"What?"
"I said, yes, I want you to kiss me," she breathed with great effort again.
"No, that's not what you said." Doug sat up on the edge of the couch and faced away from her. Dana's eyes flew open. She wasn't exactly sure what had just happened, but she knew something had. The charged atmosphere between them suddenly dissipated. Her brain tried to sort out what was happening, but it simply wasn't functioning as it should. She sat up and put her hands on Doug's shoulders.
"What's wrong? Why did you stop?"
Doug shrugged her hands off and stood up. Dana's strained to focus. "What?" she repeated.
"Dana," he began. "I don't have any illusions about this weekend. I know it's not going to lead to anything else. We are just two old friends revisiting their past. And I don't mind being a diversion for you."
With every passing moment clarity was seeping into Scully's mind. Little by little the fog was lifting from her thoughts. Forget coffee when you need to sober up, Dana thought, just put yourself in an unsettling situation; nothing works faster than adrenaline!
"But," he turned to face her as he continued to speak, "I do mind being a replacement toy for Mulder. If you are going to make love to me, then love *me*," he emphasized. "Don't be getting from me what you want from someone else."
Scully was functioning better now, but she still had no clue what Doug was talking about. Holding her gown up with one hand, she stood and stepped over to him. "I don't know what you are talking about. What's wrong?" she repeated again.
Doug stared at her. He could see she was serious. She had no idea what had slipped out. At least he felt a little better; she had not tried to use him on purpose, but indeed, using him she was. "Dana," he placed his hands on her bare shoulders, "you called Mulder's name just now as I was kissing you."
Scully's mouth dropped open. She felt her cheeks go warm, she knew she was blushing. "Oh, Doug, that's not possible. Mulder and I, we have never..., I mean," she stammered, "I don't think of him like that, " she finished lamely. She saw the hurt in Doug's eyes.
"Look, Dana, I think it is time for me to go." He dropped his hands from her and buttoned his shirt. As he reached for his jacket, Dana zipped up her dress.
"Oh, Doug, please don't leave like this. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," Dana pleaded. "You know I like being with you. Last night...,"
He turned to look her in the eyes. "Was wonderful," he completed her sentence for her. "Let's just leave it at that, O.K.?" He headed for the door. He opened it and stepped out in the hall. Dana stood in the doorway. "I've had a great time while in town, and you've been a marvelous hostess," he smiled at her.
Scully opened her mouth to apologize again.
"No, no apologies, no regrets. I look forward to hearing from you again this Christmas." He leaned in and kissed her. It was warm and sweet, and a good way to say good by. As he drew away from her he added, "Dana, don't throw your life away. If you love someone, give yourself a gift, and tell him. You are a wonderful woman, Dana. You are intelligent, and beautiful. If he's the one you want, he's a lucky man. He's probably just waiting for a sign from you. You can be pretty intimidating when you want to be, you know." He smiled good-naturedly. "I'll bet he's been sitting up all night worrying about you. Just promise me one thing."
Scully was having trouble taking all this in. All she could manage to answer was a quiet, "What?"
"Every now and then, throw my name up in his face. I don't want him to get too comfortable." He grinned.
Scully grinned back. She answered softly, "I promise."
"Good bye, Dana."
"Bye." She closed the door and leaned back against it. What a day. What a night! She still couldn't believe she had called Mulder's name in the throws of passion. Mulder. She wondered what he was doing. She wondered where he was right now.

Mulder was just finishing sanding the drywall spackling. He had decided to channel his energy and his anger into something constructive. Fixing the hole in his office would suffice for now. It also had the added benefit of keeping his mind off other subjects. He stepped back to admire his handiwork. Better keep your day job, he thought. All it needed now was a coat of matching paint. He had no idea where he would find that. Maybe I could hang a picture over it, he mused.
Mulder heard the soft 'ding' of the elevator doors as they opened. He looked at the clock. 4:30am. Must be the cleaning crew. Maybe they knew where the paint was stored. He began cleaning up his mess.
Scully stepped into the doorway and stopped. She admired Fox for a moment from behind. She was glad he wasn't into the baggy jeans look.
"Hey, partner," Scully began.
Startled, Mulder looked up at her. He tried to be low-key in return. "Hey." He went back to cleaning up. He replaced the lid on the spackling can, wiped the putty knife clean, threw the sandpaper in the trash basket and started to wipe off his desk with a rag. He and the desk, not to mention the carpet, were covered in the fine dust that had resulted from his sanding the spackling. Belying his calm exterior, his mind was racing.
Curiosity finally got the better of him. Without looking up he asked, "What brings you down here? I thought you were on your big date with Doug tonight." Shit. That was not what he meant to say. He glanced quickly up at her. In his eyes was a silent apology for his last comment.
He studied her now, taking in how even more petite she seemed in flats. He noticed the soft rounding of her hips, the pale blue sweater that clung to the right parts, the vee neckline that forced your eyes to follow it's path, and finally his eyes took in her full, red lips and those oh, so cool, blue eyes. He also noticed she wasn't angry. A good sign, his brain told him.
She answered quietly, "I thought I'd find you here. I tried your apartment, and when you didn't answer the door, I figured this was the only other place you'd be." Scully rattled on as if she hadn't heard his comment. She was determined to keep this conversation on an even keel.
"I'm sorry," he hurriedly added. "It's none of my business." He didn't say it rudely, but sincerely. "Speaking of which," he began to dust himself off as he approached her. "What is my business, is a big apology to you. I have behaved like an ass all day." Scully continued to stand in the doorway with her arms hanging at her sides, just listening, allowing him to empty himself of guilt.
A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Yes, you have," she responded honestly. She already knew she would forgive him. She'd known that, subconsciously, from the moment the day had gone sour. She'd known it more recently after Doug had left her apartment and she had gone in search of Mulder.
She knew consciously now what her mind and heart had been hiding all along: There was nothing Mulder could do, even *to* her, that would be unforgivable. She loved him, and he loved her, pure and simple. However, being as practical as she was, she also knew things between them professionally could not change. The relationship they had on the surface and the relationship they both had deep inside had to survive in the same forms as they had for the last five years. There could be no compromising on this point. Their deep friendship and commitment to one another could not be risked for the sake of a physical desire that would change everything between them. She wouldn't let it happen. She had always known she was the stronger one.
Driving around tonight looking for Mulder had given her time to ponder all these things and to decide on her course of action. All that had happened today between them was easily understood in the light of this newly surfaced knowledge. There wasn't really anything to forgive Mulder for; he had simply acted out of the recesses of his own heart, as unbeknownst to him then, as her heart had been hidden from her, until tonight. He just wasn't ready to face it or acknowledge it yet. She wouldn't make him. She would take him as he was, warts and all.
He had stopped about a foot from her. "I guess I was being territorial. I don't know how else to explain myself. I was afraid," he paused. He decided to take the plunge. "I was afraid," he started again, "of losing you." He reached out to take hold of her by her arms, to draw her close to him, to reassure her he knew how to treat her gently, too.
Dana knew she had to stop him here and now before things were said that couldn't be taken back. She breezed past him, laughing. "Lose me?" she repeated with pretended incredibility. "You can't get rid of me that easily, Agent Mulder. Barring another abduction, I'm here to stay."
She stopped in front of her desk and turned back to face him. "Besides, it would take much too long for you to break in a new partner. It's taken you five years to get me to believe even one tenth of the things you babble on and on about regarding your supernatural gobbledygook!" To make sure he didn't misunderstand her remarks and take offense, she graced him with that wonderful, full smile of hers.
Mulder was decidedly confused. Isn't she supposed to be mad? Isn't she going to make me grovel for how I have treated her today? His mind was reeling.
Scully wanted to keep him off balance. She crossed over to examine his patchwork. "Looks pretty good." She turned back around to face him. "Didn't know you were so handy with repairs. I'd have called you over months ago to fix my garbage disposal."
Fox couldn't make sense of anything she was saying. Perhaps it was the early hour or the lack of sleep in the past two days, but he was sure she should be furious with him. "Scully," he tried again taking a step toward her.
She met him half way. This time she placed her hand on his lips.
Her touch electrified him. He closed his eyes for a moment reveling at her touch. How could he talk, let alone think, rationally when she touched him? It seemed impossible. As he opened his eyes, she removed her hand from his lips and began brushing the fine coat of dust from his tee shirt. She tried not to notice how it stretched over his chest, accentuating his muscles. Fat chance. She attempted to change the subject again. "You certainly look like you could use a vacuum!"
Mulder wasn't going to give up that easily. "Scully, I'm trying to apologize to you and I want you to know I'll never butt into your personal life again." He didn't give her a chance to interrupt him as he continued speaking, his voice softening even more, "And I'm sorry I was physically rough with you today. I hope I didn't hurt you." He wanted to make this right with her. He didn't want anything to stand in the way of them working together. Too much depended on them being able to act as a team. He wanted her close to him always. As long as they worked together, he would be able to protect her.
Scully gave up trying to ignore the situation between them.
"I know you are trying to apologize, Fox." She used his first name so rarely, at his request. But Mulder knew that when she did break his rule, it was because she had something personal and intimate to say. He stared at her intently, trying to discern what she would say next. She continued, picking her words very carefully, "And I know you said and did those things today not only because you were frustrated, but more importantly, because you care about me." Fox just nodded his head in silent agreement, not trusting himself to speak. "Perhaps more than you should," she added.
Scully stopped picking at the specks on his tee shirt and now placed both hands flat on his chest as she spoke. She looked directly into his eyes, connecting with his soul. "I know your heart, Fox," she could feel it pounding under her palms, "and I know what you feel, because I feel it, too."
Mulder covered her hands with his and lifted them from his chest. Her touch, her nearness, her scent, they all affected him beyond belief. But most of all, her words moved him. Still clasping her hands, he closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest with a small sigh of relief. She knows, he thought. She understands. They were on the same wavelength again. They were one again, in the most important sense of the word.
It took all the control he had not to gather her up in his arms and kiss her with all the passion he felt at this moment. He let go of her hands and breathed deeply to try and steady his impulses. But it did no good. She was still so close, so near. He kept his eyes closed, trying to get a grip on his emotions.
Poor Mulder, Scully thought to herself as she began to flick the particles of dust from his hair. In doing so, Scully's fingers lightly brushed his forehead and Mulder opened his eyes. He knew she didn't understand how her very touch could possess him. He again reached up to take her hand, to stop her from touching him again, before he lost his resolve. Their eyes locked. A moment's indecision passed between them. They both felt the pull of their raw emotions, and both were determined not to act upon them.
Mulder leaned in close to Scully as if they were slow dancing to a tune only he could hear. There was barely enough room for air to pass between them. He wanted to make the most of his last act of intimacy with her. He felt her tense slightly, unsure of what his next move would be.
"Dana, would you promise me something?" he whispered in her ear, even though there was no one to overhear them.
Scully's heart began to pound so loud she was sure he could hear it. The nearness of his body, the touch of his hands, his warm breath on her skin; they all caused her to quiver in anticipation. This was the second time in one night she was being asked to promise something to a man.
"What?" she whispered just as quietly in his ear.
"Promise me you won't converse with anyone again," and then he added, "unless it's me."
Scully smiled in complete understanding. "I promise," she whispered back. Mulder leaned back from her just enough to gaze into her eyes. He was still holding her hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed her fingers lightly, sealing the bargain.
"Come on, it's time to go home. It's way past our bedtime," he said lightly. Scully smiled and nodded her agreement. They dropped hands and walked out of the office together. As they contentedly walked side by side to the elevator, they didn't even bother to turn off the lights or shut the door. They would be back.

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