Date sent: Tue, 08 Jul 1997
From: "Katherine Owens" katherine.owens@usa.net

Subject: Submission - The Loss

This story is a whole hearted attempt at Mulder angst. Please feel
free to post anywhere. As long as my name and address
stays with it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Rating - XA

------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
Disclaimer: None of the X-Files characters are mine, they (I'm
afraid) never will be. Thanks to Chris Carter, FOX and 1013 for bringing them
to life. Please don't sue, I'm not writing for financial gain!
Thanks! J

Mulder and Scully's treck into a remote hunting area turns devastating
for both agents.

Comments??? Pppplease katherine.owens@usa.net

ONWARDS!!

The Loss
Katherine Owens
Agent Mulder has been raving about a series of UFO sightings by very
respectable people at an exclusive fly in hunting area. As usual, Mulder
has stacks of old newspaper clippings etc., as well as a little slide
show about previous sightings in this particular area. After a reported
sighting by a Senator and his hunting buddies Agents Scully and Mulder
are given the OK to investigate.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------
The two agents are sitting, facing each other in the back compartment
of a small plane, their gear is also on the back. Mulder is giving
Scully yet another run down on the file, and both seem genuinely excited.
Scully, of course is still convinced there is a scientific explanation.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------
Later. The agents are unloading their gear, making arrangements for
pick up and beginning the general set-up of the site, with a little small
talk back and forth. The area is heavily treed. They seem to be
camping part way up a large hill. The weather is fallish. The campsite is
in a clearing, surrounded on all sides by the forest and the small paths
leading into it.
Later yet. The night is fully dark and Scully and Mulder are sitting
on logs by the fire. Fox is glancing up every few seconds. They're
dressed for early fall, Scully in an off-white sweater and jeans, Mulder in
a light colored sweatshirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Scully: "Ready?"
Mulder: Rubbing his hands together "Yep."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------
Scully and Mulder still sitting by the fire, Scully is now sitting on
the ground, against her log reading a paperback. There's a radio on.
Mulder is throwing stones at the fire. He gets up and glances around.
M: "I'm going to have a look farther up the hill."
S: Looking up from her book "Just wait a couple of minutes, I'll
come."
M: Beginning to walk off "I'll just be a minute."
S: "Mulder," rather abruptly, looking uneasy "don't go without me."
M: Laughs "I'll be right back"
He starts walking and stops at the tree line, looks back, confused,
but Scully seems to be engrossed in her book again. He shrugs and begins
hiking through the forest. Mulder's walking through fairly dense brush
under a well lit night sky. The night is not quiet, bushes snapping, an
owl hooting, the occasional distant coyote and a chorus of insects.
Hear Scully, obviously quite a distance away.
S: "Mulder, is that you?"
M: Looking back "I'm up here."
No answer, so he turns back as if to return to camp and her hears
Scully call again, worry in her voice. Mulder begins to move, then is
startled by a single gunshot, loud in the night echoing off the surrounding
hills. All the previous night time noises stop dead. Mulder, drawing
his weapon, begins to run, alternately calling "Dana" and "Scully" with an
increasing sense of panic. He's dodging around trees and over brush,
moving faster. Mulder bursts into the clearing out of breath. Hands on
his knees, leather jacket hanging open, his revolver in one hand.
M: "Scully!!" echoing back at him.
Mulder (the camera) sees something on the ground on the far side of
the fire, made indistinct by the shimmering heat. Mulder begins to
approach carefully, still breathing fast, his weapon is now straight out and
his eyes seem to be searching the surrounding trees. The form is Scully,
lying on her side facing away from the fire. Her weapon is lying just
beyond one hand, as though dropped in the fall. Mulder brings his gun
down to his side but is still holding it. With a quick look around, he
goes down onto one knee and begins checking Scully. Seems to have only a
small injury on her back (bullet hole). Both figures are fire lit,
with the orange light casting around dark shadows and golden highlights.
Scully is still facing away, her face in shadow.
M: "Scully? It's me, everything is going to be all right. Jesus,
what happened? We'd better get you out of here."
Mulder seems to suddenly realize that Scully hasn't been responding.
Confused expression.
M: "Dana...?"
Still no response. Preparing to roll her over, he gently puts one
hand under the bloodstain on the back of her sweater and hooks his other
arm just as carefully around her far shoulder (still holding his weapon).
Mulder slowly rolls his partner towards himself. Scully's face is
finally caught in the fire light. Blood is streaking down from her mouth
and nose (one side) meeting up with a large blood stain on the front and
arm of her sweater. Her eyes are open a fraction, giving the impression
that Scully is dead. Mulder's face contorts in total shock and pain.
His weapon drops in slow motion, forgotten, onto the dusty ground. He
topples from one knee onto his hands and knees. Looks like a man in the
midst of a heart attack. Turns his head away slightly and squeezes his
eyes shut, breathing raggedly through his mouth. Flashback - sister's
abduction, Father's murder, Mother's stroke. He opens his eyes again,
looking at his partner and friend.
M: Whispering, barely controlled voice "Oh Scully...oh God please..."
Looking utterly terrified, he checks for a pulse with unsteady hands
and finds one after a few tense seconds. Runs a shaking bloody hand
through his hair and begins talking quickly, nervously.
M: "OK, all right, I'm going to call for help. You're going to be
all right" ripping off his jacket, hastily wrapping Scully. "Who would..?
I'm ..I.."
Struggling to his feet holding his partner, Mulder walks closer to the
fire. Scully's head drops from his shoulder back over his arm.
M: "Oh God..." shocked all over again "you are going to be fine, you
have to be! Don't you see, I have no one else!"
Flashback - Scully looking uneasy and asking "Don't go without me".
Mulder drops to his knees in front of the fire, His head droops and his
voice cracks with tears
M: "I left you, you asked me not to, I left you...Oh God...I'm
sorry."

Scully is now covered by a sleeping bag close to the fire, most of the
blood wiped away with only a new trickle remaining. Mulder is sitting
on his haunches talking on his cell phone slightly back in the shadows,
his voice is tightly, but barely, controlled.
M: "No, there's no exit wound"
"Most of the blood is coming from her lungs"
"About 15 minutes ago"
"30 minutes!! She doesn't have 30 minutes!" Looks painfully at
Scully.
"No, you listen to me, there's a federal agent out here, drowning !
NOW!"
Snaps his phone closed and pitches it towards the tent. Looks around
helplessly. Scully starts gurgling and Mulder is immediately there. He
pulls her into his arms, supporting her more upright. New blood oozes
onto Scully's face. Mulder is murmuring that everything is going to be
all right and wiping the blood away. There's blood on his hands as well
as his clothes. Mulder absent-mindedly begins stroking Scully's hair
back from her face, looking completely distraught. Scully comes to a
bit.
S: "Mulder...what?"
M: "Don't try to talk, you've been shot but help is on the way."
S: "Not your fault" eyes close followed by a noisy exhalation, the a
stretched out moment of silence.
M: "Scully! Breathe!! Please!"
He holds her up to his shoulder, frantic and helpless. Pause, then
the unconscious Scully takes another rattling, labored breath. Mulder
carefully lowers her into his lap, watching her breathing, and curls
himself protectively around her.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------
Scully is pale and still except for choking moans. Eyes still closed.
S: "Don't go"
Mulder, looking disheveled, red eyes, and stringy hair, takes her
hand, seems unable to speak at all. Makes a whimpering sound, head bowed.
Scully still appears unconscious.
M: Still holding her hand and looking at the ground he sounds like
he's forcing out the hardest words possible, looks up pleading "Scully,
don't die." Pause, "I love you. You're the closest person in my life"
sarcastic laugh "the only person left in my life. How can I keep going?
How?!" Breaking down, trembling, "I'm supposed to be your partner...why
did you trust me to watch your back...I left..." tears escape.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------
Close up, Mulder's eyes looking into the fire.
S: Quietly, "Fox"
M: "I'm here! What is it? What's wrong?"
Scully is weakly trying to grasp her necklace.
M: "No, I'll get it"
Mulder, sitting beside her gently takes off her cross. Flashback -
Fox sitting on a hill, holding the necklace when she was missing (3). He
presses it into her hand.
S: "No, I want you to have it" each word an enormous effort.
M: "Scully!" pulls his hand away as though burned "you are going to
be fine, help is coming!"
Scully has tears in her eyes, she shivers. Mulder gently pulls her
into his lap, trying to warm her up. Looks at his watch.
S: "I love you too Mulder, and you will keep going." Slowly closes
her eyes again.
M: "Scully! Come on, you're going to get through this." Rocking her
like a child. Crushed face, teary eyes.
S: Hallucinating, back to just before Fox left "Mulder! Don't go
without me"
M: "Shhh Scully," smoothing her hair "I'm not going anywhere. Help
will be here any second."
S: "Mulder..." grabs his hand, twisting in obvious pain.
Mulder stops rocking, looking at Scully with terror in his eyes.
M: "Hold on. Please...don't go without ME."
Scully gags and blood begins running out of her mouth and nose. Her
eyes snap all the way open in terror. She can obviously no longer
breathe. Scully pulls her hand away from Mulder's, grasping at her throat.
Mulder is left holding her necklace, shining in the firelight.
M: "No!!"
More blood pours out as Scully writhes then her body goes rigid, even
the gurgling sound cuts off. Her body is arching it looks like she is
silently dry heaving. Fox is desperately ranting in the back ground,
still holding her. After several emotionally renting moments of a silent
fight for life, it's over. Completely oxygen deprived, Scully's hand
falls to her chest then her head slowly drops back, sightless eyes bulging,
and lips parted amidst a her body's final hitching death throes.
Mulder is crying and frantically checking for a pulse, not finding any he
quickly and gently lays Scully on the ground kneeling beside her with his
ear to her chest, looking for any sign of life.
M: Eyes tightly closed, unable to lift his head from his partner's
chest, "No! Oh God...no...no...please...oh Scully..."
He hugs her tightly to himself and sits slowly holding her, the fire
is dying unnoticed. Panning out. Mulder is getting louder and louder.
Heart piercing, tortured, sobbing screams are torn from his throat,
hardly recognizable. "Scullyyy!!!!!" echoing through the forest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------
Helicopter lands, bustling with spotlights, medics, and armed back-up.
Skinner and a medic come flying out of the helicopter. Mulder, broken
and in shock, doesn't even look up. Still rocking Scully as the fire's
remnants are whipped about. The medic tries to get to Scully.
M: Roars "No!" voice hoarse, clinging to his partner as if just
realizing they are there. Then with a dead voice " You're to late."
Skinner looks to the medic who looks at Scully and then nods almost
imperceptibly.
Sk: To medic "It's all right, back off." Goes down on one knee
beside Mulder who is again staring blankly at the fire, "Agent Mulder..."
touches his shoulder "I'm sorry."
M: "I won't leave Scully, I won't let them (glancing at medics) take
her from me"
Sk: "No one is asking you to."
See Skinner trying to help Mulder up. Mulder shakes him off and
lurches towards the helicopter carrying his partner. Can hear the medics on
the radio in the background.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
Back of the helicopter. Mulder it seems still refuses, physically, to
let Scully go.
Sk: Speaking gently "Can you tell me what happened back there?"
Mulder recounts his experience in a tired, halting voice, looking at
the floor or Scully, whose eyes are now closed . Occasionally brushing a
strand of hair back from her face tenderly. He emphasizes that Dana
asked him not to leave and he laughed at her. Breaks up when recounting
that his partner, who had always stood behind him and vigilantly watched
his back, was in fact shot in the back herself. At the end of his
explanation he steels his voice and defiantly looks up to meet Skinner's
eyes.
M: "Ten minutes before you arrived, over thirty-five minutes after
being shot in the back, Federal Agent Dana Scully died..." voice losing
it's edge "in my arms." Silence, except the sounds of the helicopter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
View the helicopter landing at a hospital.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
Skinner walks into the morgue storage room, finds Mulder alone sitting
on his haunches leaning against the wall. The room is sparsely lit by
one desk lamp in the corner.
Sk: "We've got a full scale man hunt going on up there. No one is
going to get out."
Mulder says nothing, not even bothering to look up.
Sk: "You can't stay here forever..."
M: Still paying no attention "Mrs. Scully?"
Sk: "I called her, but she wants to speak to you." Sees a pained
look cross Fox's face "No one is going to blame you for Agent Scully's
death. Let me take you home."
M: Speaking to himself, "Scully doesn't get to go home."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
The two are in Skinner's car parked in front of Mulder's apartment
building.
Sk: "Want me to come in?"
M "No." Looks at Skinner "Just catch him." Gets out of the car and
goes into his building.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
In Mulder's apartment in the morning. He wakes on the couch with a
start as if having just awakened from a nightmare. Moving carefully he
sits up, scrubbing his face with his hands. Looking up he sees Scully's
cross on the coffee table along with a vodka bottle. Looks down at his
hands, small streaks of blood remain there. He slowly gets up and
staggers towards the washroom. Mulder confronts himself in the mirror. He
looks physically horrible and emotionally devastated. Still wearing his
blood stained clothes, tear tracks and blood smears on his face. Looking
at himself with his hands on the sink he becomes more disturbed by the
second, finally in a fit of despair he smashes the mirror. Head hung
low, chest heaving and knuckles bleeding he hears pounding at his door,
followed by Skinner calling him and threatening to break down the door.
M: Walking into the kitchen yells "what are you doing here?"
Sk: "I've got to talk to you, you weren't answering your phone"
M: "Go away." Pulling a fresh bottle of vodka from a cupboard goes
back to the living room.
Sk: "Fox, let me in!" Pounding some more.
Finally getting a headache from all the pounding Mulder lets him in
then goes to get two glasses from the kitchen.
M: Holding up the bottle "Want one?" Pours without waiting for an
answer.
Sk: "Jesus Mulder it's nine in the morning." takes a drink, sitting
down opposite to Mulder.
M: "Well what did you come to tell me?" Looking quite uninterested.
Sk: " There's been little progress in the investigation... and Agent
Scully's mother has had a small breakdown. You don't look all that far
behind yourself. I've made the... aaah... arrangements; if that's all
right with you."
M: Looks disgusted with himself "All right with me? I hardly think
my opinion counts here," softer, "but thank you." Empties his glass
with a sour looking expression.
Sk: "I know you don't want to think about this now, but the funeral
is the day after tomorrow."
M: "I can't..."
Sk: Looking hard at Mulder "If you don't have the guts to go fine."
Working on a guilt trip "But remember, Mrs. Scully won't be there
either." Gets up to let himself out, turns toward Mulder, his voice softens
"If you...need someone to talk to anytime I'm always here."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
Mulder spends the rest of the day as an emotional wreck. He's
unshaven and scruffy, wearing the cross, unconsciously touching it. Drinking
and listening to the radio, a sad, somewhat applicable, song comes on and
he bashes the radio. Watches the depressing news of the man hunt,
which is having little success, smashes the television screen. Tries
looking over the X-files for the area where Scully was killed. He can't find
anything new and ends up brushing the contents of the desk to the floor.
During this day the phone rings, always unanswered, until finally it
meets the same fate as the radio. He finally takes off his blood soaked
clothes, folding and carefully putting them into a box in the bedroom.
Fox is a man completely on the edge, coming apart. As the day goes on
he slows. Ends up sitting on the sofa, crying silently over a snapshot
of the two of them. Goes through a series of flashbacks of Scully
staying in the hospital when he was injured, taking care of him after she'd
shot him, backing him up at inquires, holding him when he was so afraid
for his mother, tucking him into bed at her house when his water had been
contaminated with LSD etc. These past memories are interspersed with
painfully vivid images from the horrible moment Mulder rolled Scully over
up until the helicopter arrived to late. He doesn't eat or sleep. As
night descends he doesn't bother turning on any lights, just sits by the
window looking out and cleaning his weapon with only his haggard
reflection as company.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
The next day. Shot of Mulder in a church looking just as bad as
before. Still unshaven and shaggy. Has his head on his hands-kneeling in a
pew at the back. Totally alone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
Finally, the day of the funeral arrives. Skinner once again comes
knocking at Fox's door. Skinner comes in, gently reminding Mulder that the
funeral is this day and confirming that Mrs. Scully will still be
unable to attend.
Sk: "Mulder, have you slept since I came? That was on Thursday
morning."
M: "No." Voice drained of emotion.
Sk: "Jesus! Have you ate? Been with anyone? Talked with anyone?"
M: "No."
Sk: "OK Mulder, you have an hour to get ready. We'll drive to the
funeral, then we are going to get you some help."
M: "But..."
Sk: "No butts! Go get ready." Quieter "Agent Scully deserves more
respect than this" gesturing disgustedly at Mulder.
Mulder gets up, slow and unsteady and starts towards the bathroom.
Sk: " And I'm going to make us some coffee."
After about an hour, Mulder comes out of the bedroom totally
transformed. He's wearing a prefect dark suit and trench coat, perfect shave,
perfect hair. Obviously he has resolved that Skinner was right and
intends to show his respect to the best of his ability. He's still walking
slowly, but he is now steady, head up. The only thing that spoils the
smartly dressed, dapper image is the total and complete despair in his
eyes. Funeral is a simple grave site service. Few in attendance. Mulder
seems to hold together well, wincing then looking at his hands while
choking back tears only a few times. At the end of the service the
traditional flag folding takes place, then to Mulder's shock it is handed to
him. A quick look around reveals that there is no one else to receive it.
Fox starts loosing his control as the burial mercifully ends. The
last scene is Mulder crushed, helpless, hopeless, self-loathing, and
desperately lonely kneeling in the dirt beside the grave. He's clutching the
flag to his chest, his whole body shaking with hoarse and ragged sobs.
As the scene pans out, it seems that Fox may just stay where he is
forever.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
Elsewhere. The smoking man is waiting for someone. In walks the
"shape-shifting" alien assassin.
Sm: "Well, has he been sufficiently destroyed?"
Alien: "Absolutely." Slowly changes into Scully, with blood running
from her mouth and nose, voice also changes to Scully's "Mulder, don't
go without me".
Smoking man chuckles and takes another drag of his cigarette. Camera
circles the room and focuses on the real Scully terrified eyes, beaten,
bound and gagged crouching in the corner of the next room, on the other
side of a one way mirror.