Date: Thu, 14 Aug 1997
Subject: Hold on by Laurie Sarnacki

Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Chris Carter
and 1013 productions. I am only borrowing them and will
return them when I am finished. Cassandra Wentworth belongs
to me as does the Canadian Chapter of the Lone Gunmen.

Authors Notes: This story is based loosely on the song Hold on
by Sarah Mclachlin. It is a MSR, but only lightly. I started this
story long before Leonard Betts/Memento Mori aired, so in this
realm of reality the findings of Leonard Betts/Memento Mori
do not exist.

Classifications: MSR, Angst, X-File, Adventure.

Rating: PG-13 Summary: Mulder and Scully try and help a
young girl who could hold the key to important events in their
past.

Archived: Everywhere, as long as my name stays attached to it.

Authors Notes 2: I started this way back in November of 96. It
is a long one, *sometimes I think to long*, but what are you
going to do? Please send all feedback to
canadiangirl@home.com.

Thanks: To everyone who looked at this story during the
working stages. Thank you all so much. *hugs*

'Hold on
Hold on to yourself
For this is gonna hurt like hell'

-Sarah Mclachlin

Hold on
by Laurie Sarnacki
***************************
FBI Building 5pm
June 23

The young girl with raven hair and deep blue eyes approached
the building with caution. She wore a pair of faded blue jeans
and a UCLA sweatshirt. She had been sent there by the Lone
Gunmen; who had told her to see Agent Fox Mulder. Walking
up the stairs, she went directly to the reception area.

"Could you direct me to Agent Mulder's office please?", she
asked the receptionist.

"And who might you be?"

"A friend. Could you please tell me how to get to his office?"

"Is he expecting you?"

"Not that I know of."

"I'll have to call him. Your name?"

"Cassandra Wentworth, will you please tell him that Frohike
sent me."

"Frohike?"

"He'll know who I'm talking about."

"Very well," the receptionist picked up the phone and dialed
Mulder's' extension.

"Mulder."

"Agent Mulder, there is a young lady out here by the name of
Cassandra Wentworth to see you. She says a Mr. Frohike sent
her."

"Send her down." Mulder chuckled to himself. <a Mr.
Frohike.>

The receptionist hung up the phone and directed Cassandra to
Mulder's office. Down a few flights of stairs and through a
maze of hallways and she was finally there. She knocked on the
door and Mulder let her in.

"Agent Mulder?"

"Yes. Come in, sit down."

"I'm sure you're wondering who I am and what I'm doing here."

"I'm a little curious, yes."

"All I can tell you is, I have seen a lot of things. Things that
would surprise even you," she said sitting down. "I know of
things; some of which I wish I didn't, my life is in danger Agent
Mulder, and I need your help."

"*My* help?", he said thinking of the Star Wars movie he saw
long ago... <Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.> He tried
to stifle his laughter.

"Yes, you're the only one that can help me. You and Agent
Scully. You two are my last hope of staying alive."

"What do you mean?" He leaned back in his chair and tried to
size the young girl up. What was her story? And why had the
Lone Gunmen sent her to him?

"I'm in grave danger-- danger because I know too much, have
seen too much. I can help you find the *truth* you are so
desperately looking for."

"How did you come about meeting the Lone Gunmen?"

"Maybe I should start from the beginning."

"That would be nice."

"Is Agent Scully around? I really only want to tell this story
once."

"She's gone home for the day."

"Well then, I suggest we go to her apartment."

"Wait a minute...."

"Please, Agent Mulder, we've wasted too much time already.
I'm unsure of how long it will be before *they* find me.", she
said interrupting him.

"They?"

"In good time, Agent Mulder.", she said getting up.

*

Within minutes they had arrived at Scully's' apartment.

"Maybe I should go and explain things to her first before we
spring this on her."

"Of course. Do you want me to wait here?"

"No, I don't think that is a good idea. Maybe you can wait in
the hallway."

"Whatever is easiest."

Scully was in the kitchen fixing herself some dinner when she
heard a knock. She wiped her hands and went to the door.

"Mulder? What's wrong?"

"Scully-- maybe you should sit down."

"Why? What's going on?"

"After you left a young women came to see me. She says the
Lone Gunmen sent her to us, and she needs our help."

"Where is she?"

"Outside."

"Well let her in." She wasn't sure what she was getting herself
into, but she thought she might as well give Mulder the benefit
of the doubt.

Mulder opened the door and let Cassandra in.

"Hello Agent Scully, it's nice to meet you. My name is
Cassandra Wentworth, and as I told Agent Mulder before, I
need your help to stay alive."

Scully went to sit down on the couch and Mulder joined her.
"What is it that you need us to protect you from?"

Mulder himself was still trying to deal with this all. He wasn't
too sure why he had chosen to believe Cassandra, maybe it was
because she reminded him of his sister, or at least in his mind he
thought Sam would be like her.

"It'll probably be easier if I start from the beginning."

"Okay. Well sit down and tell us." Scully motioned over to the
empty chair in the room.

"If it's all the same to you I would rather stand. I think better
when I pace."

"Sure." Scully said sitting down.

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "Where to start.... About
five years ago I was living on the streets in Arlington, Virginia.
I had run away from home. But I'll get back to that. Living
on the streets I came in contact with a man named Robert
Landsly. He took me from the streets where I was staying, to a
farm about twenty-five miles away. He had many runaways and
homeless kids living on this farm. We were we were all fed and
clothed; he never asked for anything in return. It's only now
that I realize why." She began to pace around the room. "At
the farm we were all taught how to do things-- special things.
Only at the time we didn't realize it, we were all programmed to
forget what we saw. I wish now that I still could forget. We
were always taken at night, while we were sleeping to the
testing place. It was a big building located on the farm and
during the day we were told never to go there. Most of us
listened and the few that didn't, disappeared shortly after. None
of us questioned it though-- the disappearance's, I mean. We
just thought it was the way things were to be," she shrugged
and continued. "The testing place did things to us, made us
smarter and stronger than the rest of the population. We were
being groomed for better things-- these things are what bring
me to you."

"What things?" Mulder asked.

"The man that brought me to the farm." She continued as if she
hadn't heard Mulder at all. "He is associated with the FBI, and
is in a position of great power. He works with someone you
know-- the man that smokes all those cigarettes, well both of
them are pure evil." She took a deep breath, and continued,
"These tests that we were subjected to gave us ten times the
normal human capacity to retain information. During the tests,
we were all given files of information to store. I think this was
to insure that they wouldn't be caught. What I mean is that we
became their hard drive-- like that of a computer. We keep all
the information so there is no written record of it known now,
besides what is in our minds. This is what brings me to you--
all the files that I have programmed in me are based on you and
your work."

The two agents looked dumbfounded. Mulder was the first to
speak. "This information, how do you know it's *in* there?"

"Good question, I didn't realize till a few months ago, actually.
I awoke with visions of names, dates and case files running
through my head. What I'm assuming happened was when
they did the last installment they screwed up somehow. I'm not
exactly sure, all I do know is that if they find out that I
remember this stuff I'm surely dead. That is why I need your
help. I have the information, now what I need is for you two to
help me dispose of it."

"Do you know how they did this? Or how long you were
subjected to the tests?" Mulder asked her.

"How they did it I'm not sure. I can remember being awakened
almost every night and being transported to the testing place. It
would happen around midnight and last for three hours. I think
it started happening shortly after I arrived there and continued
up till I left, two months ago. I know many things,-- many
things that will clear up a lot of unanswered questions you both
have. But that will have to wait, I'm exhausted. I will
tell you one thing, if we don't find a way to get this information
out of me I'll be dead soon."

"Why don't you go lie down in the bedroom." Scully got up and
led her to her room.

"I know you don't believe me Agent Scully," she said sitting on
the bed, "I'm quite aware of that. But for your sake I just want
you to know that you're okay."

"What do you mean?"

"You were not harmed during the time you were taken. At
least not in the way you fear. The implant in your neck was just
a tracking device, it was made of a harmless metal."

"What? How do you..."

"As I told you before, all the files in my mind are on you and
Agent Mulder. Others, have files on other people. There are
now no other known records, besides just what is in our heads;
*we* store all the information, and only they can access it.
I've got so much more to tell you, but that will have to wait
until tomorrow." Cassie turned to Scully, "Please don't be
angry with Mulder for bringing me here, he needs you. Or he
will need you after I tell him everything. Just be there for him."
She was beginning to mumble now due to her exhaustion.

"Just rest now."

Scully quietly shut the door behind her and joined Mulder back
in the living room.

"So Scully-- what do you think?"

"Truthfully, Mulder. I don't know. She knows things, things
only people close to us would know."

"What kind of things, Scully?"

"She knew about my implant. She said I would be okay, that I
wasn't harmed."

"And *that's* sure good to know." He softly smiled and rubbed
her back.

"I know."

"So we're going to help her then?"

"Like you doubted we would."

"Well, you know," he smiled at her.

"Mulder, I would follow you to the ends of the earth and back."

"The same goes for me, Scully. Why don't we try and get some
rest too. Maybe let all of what she said sink in." Mulder opened
his arms for Scully. She snuggled into him and he leaned back
against the arm of couch.

"What I want to know is how she knows the Lone Gunmen."

"I've thought about that. And if these files she has in her mind
are on us, isn't it logical that they would contain the Lone
Gunmen in some context?"

"True." Scully said yawning.

"I am glad you're okay." He whispered in her ear.

"Me too Mulder, me too."

End of part one

Part 2

Cassandra awoke covered in sweat; she was having the
nightmare again, the one where she was being poked and
prodded with needles. This nightmare was a nightly event for
her, it was also what started her memory to come flooding
back. Until a few months ago she had been a 'normal' eighteen
year old; that is, as normal as one could be with no parents and
living on a farm that was involved in a governmental
conspiracy.

<So, Cassie what do we do now?>, she asked herself. <The
first thing is to get cleaned up. You don't want them worrying
about you, at least not until they know everything.> She got
up, walked to the bathroom, and splashed cold water on her
face and smoothed out her dark raven hair.

Meanwhile, in the living room, the two agents were sleeping
peacefully in each others arms.

Cassandra was still wearing the clothes she had on the night
before. She didn't have anything else. The few pairs of jeans
and the couple of T-shirts she had taken with her had been left
at the Lone Gunmen's place. They were such kind men; they
had taken her in after she arrived that stormy night. They didn't
question her, or turn her away; they accepted her with open
arms and took care of her. She knew she'd be thankful for that
for the rest of her life. She had already told them everything
she knew; and in the process of that, they had sent her to Agent
Mulder. Not that she wouldn't have gone to him herself
eventually. It was just in her mind she felt her best hope was
going to them first; it would be easier for Mulder to want to
help her that way.

She softly walked into the living room, trying to make as little
noise as possible.

Dana stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, Cassandra that's okay. I was going to get up to check on
you anyway."

"Please call me Cassie."

"Sure."

"I was wondering Miss Scully, if you happened to have any
extra clothes I could possibly wear. I have been living in this
outfit for the past month or so and would really like something
different to wear."

"I do on one condition." She smiled. "That you call me Dana."

"Of course. What should I call him?" she asked, pointing to
Mulder. "I mean, I know how he hates to be called Fox."

"'How..." She stopped herself from asking the question of how
she knew that.

"Everyone calls him Mulder."

"Mulder, got it."

Dana unwrapped herself from Mulder's arms and went in to her
bedroom. She motioned for Cassie to follow her.

"Now you look to be the same size as me."

"I guess so."

Scully pulled out some jeans and sweatshirts she kept in the
closet to wear on rainy days. "Here, these should fit you."

"If it's not too much bother, could I also have a shower?"

"Of course, let me grab you some towels."

The hot water felt so good on Cassie's dirty skin. She looked
herself over to make sure no more bruises has surfaced. That
was the only side effect from the testing she'd found. Since the
tests she bruised a lot easier than before. <No new bruises.
Well that's a good sign> She washed and rinsed her hair, then
got out of the shower. Drying herself off, she wondered how
this whole ordeal would turn out. She also wondered how
Mulder would react to what she eventually would tell him.
<Poor Mulder. He is going to have a hard time with all of
this.>

While Cassie had her shower Mulder had gotten up and was in
the kitchen making breakfast for the three of them.

"So Scully, how do we handle this?" he asked as he flipped the
pancakes.

"Mulder, I really don't know. I think first we have to just get
her to talk. Tell us everything she knows."

"Let's eat breakfast first." He smiled.

Cassie finished getting dressed and combed out her hair. She
wished she had brought her hair clip but that was still with her
stuff at the Lone Gunmen's. As she made her way to the
kitchen she was met by a wonderful smell. <This reminds me of
how it *used* to be. Before everything got so screwed up>

"That smells so good." Walking into the kitchen she noticed it
was Mulder cooking and Scully was pouring over the morning
paper.

"Cassie, did you sleep well?" asked Mulder.

"As well as I could."

Mulder looked over at the young girl with concern. "You have
trouble sleeping?"

"Only sometimes. Sometimes I can go a full night without
having a nightmare, other nights I have them repeatedly." She
shrugged her shoulders and sat down at the kitchen table.

Mulder was intrigued by the latest revelation. He brought the
pancakes he had been making over to the table and sat down.
Cassie helped herself to two.

"How long have you had these nightmares?"

"Mulder, let her eat." Scully said.

"No, it's okay. I told you I'd tell you everything and I will." she
said in between mouthfuls. "These are really good Mulder."

"Thanks."

"I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember. Even
before I was brought to the farm. As I told you last night, I was
a runaway, what I didn't tell you was why. I didn't have the
*most gentle* childhood. I was severely abused from the time I
was eight 'til I turned eleven. That's when the authorities got
involved, but by then it was too late.... My father died when I
was just six years old, a year later my mother married *Rick*.
In the beginning all was great, we were one big happy family.
Then Rick realized what a *high* drugs and alcohol gave him.
About the time I turned eight years old he got involved with the
wrong people and unfortunately he dragged my mom down
with him. He would become abusive suddenly without warning,
and I was always the recipient of that abuse."

The two agents listened in horror as Cassie told her story. How
could someone be so cruel? "Didn't your mom do anything to
stop it?" Scully asked quietly.

"At first she did. She threatened to leave him if he didn't stop,
but I guess the drugs were too powerful for him. He got her to
try them and mom became hooked. Most of the time she was
too doped up to realize what was happening to me or to care.
Let's just say I grew up really fast. I had to take care of myself,
and learn ways to avoid Rick at all times. He was always
physically abusive, never sexually. That is something I thank
God for every day."

"As I got older the beatings didn't happen as often, but
they were more intense. About the time I turned fourteen is
when Child Services stepped in and removed me. Part of me
still doubts they even miss me. Towards the end they were both
really messed up, I doubt my mom would even recognize me
today," she muttered looking at her plate, trying not to cry. She
hardly ever felt like crying. It was only when she thought of her
mom that she felt pangs of sadness. She looked up, and
continued, "So I was shuffled off to a foster home, a temporary
place 'til I could get placed in a permanent home. But by then I
was so wary of people, that as soon as I got placed in a home,
I'd run away. There were a few that I think, maybe I could
have stayed with but in my mind I was damaged goods. I
thought that all I could do was bring people heartache. So
when I turned fifteen I ran away from the halfway house I was
staying at, because I didn't want to be a burden to them
anymore," she smiled. "Anyway that was how I ended up on
the streets, I took my last fifty dollars and took a train to as far
away as fifty dollars would take me. That brought me to
Arlington, Virginia."

"I spent two weeks on the streets 'til he came and got me. That
day he took three of us, but don't ask me why we were chosen
over the rest because I don't know." Cassie looked over at the
two agents. She could feel the sympathy in their eyes. "So that
is where my nightmares come from, I also have ones from the
tests. Those are the more horrific ones."

"I'm so sorry," was all Mulder could say. His childhood looked
perfect compared to Cassie's. He hoped and prayed that they
would be able to help her.

The finished eating breakfast in peace, with the occasional small
talk. Cassie thanked them again for all their help and suggested
they go to the Lone Gunmen's so she could pick up the rest of
her stuff.

***

Lone Gunmen's Office

The three of them walked into the building and were met by a
pacing Frohike. As soon as he saw Cassie he grabbed the girl
and hugged her with all his might.

"Cassie, we were so worried about you." Frohike said.

"Frohike, it's okay-- I'm fine."

"It's just when you didn't come back... We were worried that
*they* might have gotten to you."

"I'm sorry. I should've let you know that I was at Agent Scully's
place."

"Byres, Langly, it's okay. She was with Mulder and Scully."

The two other members of the group walked over to Cassie
and gave a once over.

<This girl must have made quite an impression on them.>
Mulder thought to himself.

"Boys, it's okay, we're going to help her," Mulder said smiling.

"How?"

"That-- we don't know yet," Mulder said.

"I still haven't told them everything." Cassie looked at her feet,
feeling as if she had deceived everyone in the room.

Dana put an arm around the young girl. "Cassie, in all good
time. Let's just get your stuff and figure out where to go next."

"I'll go grab her bag," Langly said dashing into one of the back
rooms.

Mulder leaned against the table that held a computer and some
files. "So boys, do you have anything on Robert Landsly?"

"Nothing except what Cassie told us. It's like he doesn't exist.
Maybe it's an alias for something. If we had a picture to go on it
would be easier." Byers explained.

"Maybe we should get one." Mulder said.

These men, aren't going to let you walk up to them and take a
picture." Frohike said.

"Wait-- in my bag I have a camera. There might be a picture of
him on that film. I took a bunch after I decided to leave the
farm."

Langly handed Cassie her bag. She searched through it and
found her small camera.

"You guys can develop film right?" She asked handing it to
Frohike.

"We'll get right on it."

"You know we can't stay at my place for much longer. They're
going to be looking for her soon. We need to find a safe house."

"Scully is right, we have to find a place that they can't find us.
Or at least a place the will buy us some time."

"I know a place." Byres piped up. "We have this house, its
been in my family for years. It's located up in the wilderness of
British Columbia, Canada. You'll be safe there. And I've got a
friend up there, who may be able to help get some of that
information out of you."

Cassie hugged each of the Gunmen individually. "Thanks
for everything you guys have done for me." Turning again to
Mulder and Scully, "So when do we leave?"

"If you'll excuse us for a moment." Mulder said and motioned
for Scully to follow him outside.

"You sure you're okay with this Scully?" Mulder's voice was
full of concern.

"Mulder, she needs our help. We have to do the right thing."

"We could lose our jobs."

"Mulder, her life is more important than our jobs. If we don't
help her she will die." Her eyes were filled with fear, fear for all
of their lives.

Mulder took her in his arms and squeezed her tightly. "How
did I end up with a women as special as you?"

"Luck, I guess."

"Dana, I want you to know how much I love you. We will
make it through this." He bent down and gave her a soft kiss on
the lips.

"I love you too."

"We better get back in there. I think we should leave for Byers'
cabin right away."

"I agree. I'll call my mom and tell her we've decided to go on a
trip. What do we do about work?"

"Just don't show up?" Mulder teased. "I'll email Skinner and
tell him we had an emergency. I'll make something up."
***
Cassie sorted through her belongings. For eighteen years of
being on this planet she sure didn't have many things. A few
odds and ends, some clothes, a few pictures of her mom and
dad, but that was about it. The only thing she treasured was a
gold locket that she wore around her neck. Her grandmother
had given it to her mom and she had given it to her, just before
things starting getting bad.

"Cassie?" a soft voice said behind her. Cassie turned around to
see Mulder standing there. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just going through my stuff, not that there's much to
go through. I don't have many things."

"To tell you the truth, neither do I. Never felt the need to keep
things. In fact the only thing I have held onto is a picture of my
sister Sam. And Scully." Mulder crouched down beside her.

"You and Dana are very close aren't you?"

"I like to think so."

"You don't like to tell much do you?"

"Not really. I guess I use it as a means of protection. Never let
anyone get too close."

"I agree with you there. Once you let people close to you-- you
just end up getting hurt," she looked away not wanting to make
eye contact with him.

Mulder put his hand on her shoulder. "But if you never let
anyone in, you end up missing out on great relationships." He
said.

"I know. I hope, when this is all over, you don't hate me."

"Why do you say that?"

"It usually happens. The people I end up caring about, end up
resenting and hating me."

"Trust me Cassie, we won't. Why don't we go see if Scully is
ready to go. She was just calling her mom so she doesn't
worry."

"Okay." They both got up off the floor. Cassie grabbed her bag
and they went to go see Scully.

"I love you too, mom. Yes I'll give Mulder your love. Bye."
Dana hung up the phone just in time to see Mulder and Cassie
coming towards her. "So are we ready to go?"

"I think so."

"You got all your stuff?"

"It's all in here." She patted her bag.

Cassie hugged the three men again and said good-bye. "Thank
you for all your help."

"Cassie, if you ever need us, you know the number." Frohike
said.

"Thanks."

"So Boys you got those fake passports and ID's for us?"

"Of course," Langly handed Mulder a three passports. "Those
should get you in and out of the country no problem. There is
also a list of numbers, in case you should need any help up in
Canada. I know this may sound scary but there are others like
us."

"Ohhh spooky...." Mulder smiled and motioned for them to get
going. "Thanks guys." They had arranged for a flight to the
Vancouver International Airport. From there, there would be a
car waiting for them, all under assumed names. The Gunmen
had also hacked into different banks and arranged for accounts
in each of the aliases.

End of part 2

Part 3

On the Road somewhere in the woods of BC.

"Mulder, are you going to stop anywhere?" Scully asked almost impatiently.

"Why?"

"I'm just getting really hungry."

"Me, too Mulder," Cassie piped up.

"I'll pull off at the next exit."

"I still have so much more to tell you, I'm afraid to though."

Dana turned around so that she was facing Cassie. "You don't
have to be afraid anymore."

"But I do. I know too much. And what I do know may end up
doing more harm that good."

"There's a hotel, why don't we stay there for the night?" Mulder
asked.

Mulder pulled into the hotel parking lot. He turned around so
that he was facing Cassie. "Cassie you have to know that
whatever you tell us, it won't change how we react to you."

Cassie chuckled lightly. "You haven't heard what I have to say
yet."

"Listen, it's been a long night. Why don't we go and get a
room? Maybe, then we can let her explain everything." Scully
asked, indicating the neon *vacancy* sign flashing in the
window.

Mulder left the two of them in the car as he went in to get a
room.

"Dana, Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well if Mulder was to learn something-- something that could
affect him deeply... something to do with his sister. Do you
think he might do something drastic?"

Dana had no chance to answer her because Mulder chose that
exact moment to reappear.

"Ladies, our castle awaits us." Mulder smiled. Dana and Cassie
hoped out of the Explorer and walked towards the room they
would be spending the night in.

"It's not the nicest place we've ever stayed in Scully." Mulder
opened the door to the room.

"Well Mulder, it's better than some of them." Scully offered
Mulder a small smile. In return she got a mouthed "I love you."

Cassie lugged in her bag and threw it on the bed. "Hmm...
looks like there's only one bed guys.... It's okay, I'll take the
couch." She moved her bag to the side of the couch and sat
down. "Not *too* bad, a little lumpy. But I've slept on worse."

"Cassie, you and Dana can share the bed. Lord knows how
many nights I have stayed on the couch before."

"No, I'll take the couch-- it's okay."

Mulder was about to protest again but he felt a hand on his
shoulder telling him to stop.

"Good." Cassie smiled. "Now that that's settled why don't we
go get some dinner?"

The three of them headed over to the all night diner just across
from the hotel. Dinner was pretty quiet. No one talked about
what Cassie still had to tell them. They kept the conversation
light.

Hotel room
Around 12 am

Mulder and Scully sat on the couch while Cassie paced around
the room.

"Dana, I know you're wondering how I know that you will be
okay, that you weren't harmed when they took you."

Dana nodded and took Mulder's hand in hers.

"First off, you need to know that you weren't abducted by
extraterrestrials. You were taken by the government, by people
in high positions of power. These people felt that you and
Mulder were getting too close. At first they thought it would be
just enough to disband the X-Files and separate you two. When
that didn't work, they took drastic measures. With you two still
depending on each other; even though you were no longer
partners, they realized that their plan was not going to work.
They needed a way to prove to Mulder that what he was doing
was going to hurt people. They believed that if he cared about
you, then maybe he would realize that this relentless search he
was on was not worth it. But that backfired on them too."

"What about Krycek? How does he fit into all this?" Mulder
asked.

"Krycek is a product of the government and the people who
control it. He was brought in to distract you, was trained from
the beginning in how to manipulate his way into situations. But
you didn't fall for it, and that pissed them off even more." She
smiled.

"Once they knew that you wouldn't open up to Krycek the way
you did with Scully, they knew their plan was defeated. So they
set it up to look like Scully had been abducted by aliens. In this
situation she wasn't-- but extraterrestrial abductions do exist.
It has happened a total of ten times throughout the history of
the FBI. Other times they were all faked by the government."

Cassie was starting to feel very tired. The feeling of tiredness
usually overwhelmed her; every time she started spieling off
information like she had been.

"All this *stuff* is in your head?"

"As astounding as this may sound, yes. It's like watching a
movie that never seems to end. And the two main characters
get pulled and yanked in every direction except the direction of
the truth."

Dana was still clinging to Mulder's hand. "So, what you are
telling me is that I am really okay. I wasn't infected by any
disease? In twenty years I won't develop cancer and die?"

"You are completely healthy, at least as far as the testing that
was done is concerned."

"Then what about all those women I met? The ones that
claimed to know me. The ones that are dying," she asked,
almost whispering.

Cassie took a deep breath. "What I'm about to say makes me
sick to my stomach. Those women, the ones that you met, they
were all deliberately infected with a cancerous type substance."
She closed her eyes and tried to compose herself. "The reason...
the reason they didn't infect you was because it would be too
easy to trace back to them. If you were to get sick... well they
couldn't risk that kind of exposure. Isn't that nice, they were
only covering their ass."

Dana felt the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Dana." Cassie crouched by her. "I didn't mean to
hurt you."

"It's not your fault, it's Cancerman. He's the one behind it all
isn't he?"

"Yes, I'm afraid he is. The man is pure evil, it pours from the
depths of his soul."

Cassie started to shake violently, her arms fluttering about.

"Cassie what's wrong?" Mulder moved to support her and
helped her lie on the couch.

"Hap...pens...ev..ery..t...t...time...I
t..try...and...t..tell..more...than....I...should."

Scully grabbed a blanket from the bed and laid it over her.

Cassie tried to speak again.

"Shhh Cassie, you need to rest."

"I...can....on...ly...get...so....m....m....much
out....ev...ery....t....time....s...oorryy," She then lost
consciousness.

Mulder grabbed a cold washcloth from the bathroom.

"Mulder she's out cold."

"Should we call an ambulance?"

"No, she'll be fine. She's breathing okay, but she is burning
up."

"Here, put this on her head." Mulder handed her the washcloth.

"Thanks."

"What do you think brought that on?"

"Mulder, it's like-- it's like they have turned her into a
computer."

"You think she got overloaded?" He asked her raising his
eyebrows.

"Mulder, I don't know. She was mumbling something about
only being able to get out so much information at one time."

"Jesus, Scully, what did these people do?"

End Part 3

Part 4

Mulder had to get out-- out of that hotel room where the young
girl lay feverish and still shaking.

"I'm going for a run."

"Mulder..."

"Scully, I just need to think." He laced up his runners and gave
her a quick kiss goodbye.

"Be careful."

"Always," he called. That had been their tradition every since
they had taken their relationship to the next level, and every
time he went somewhere without her.

Mulder ran at top speed, deaking in and out of alley ways. His
mind was racing with thoughts. <How in the hell are we going
to help this girl?> he asked himself.

While Mulder was out for his run, Scully sat by Cassie as she
lay on the couch. Every so often the young girl would waiver
into consciousness and spout off something. It never made any
sense but it did seem as if she was trying to say something.
Dana went into the bathroom and dampened the cloth with cold
water, and placed it on Cassie's forehead again.

By the time Mulder had sprinted back to the hotel, he was
clearly out of breath. <Getting a bit out of shape, are we old
buddy?> He grabbed some ice from the Ice machine and
walked to their room.

"Scully?" he called into the silent room.

"Over here."

He crouched near where Scully was sitting holding Cassie's
hand.

"She woken up yet?"

"Not really, she's slipped in and out of consciousness off and
on."

Mulder got up. "I see." He began to walk over to the
bathroom. "Gonna take a shower."

"Okay, but afterwards we *need* to talk."

He nodded.

Fox finished his shower feeling refreshed and ready to battle the
bad guys yet again.

"Feeling any better?" she asked him.

"Much..." he answered.

He sat on the bed and motioned for her to join him. "You said
we need to talk. What about?"

"Your sister."

Mulder winced.

"I know, its hard for you. But Mulder, she obviously knows
something about Sam. Maybe you'll finally be able to find out
the truth about what happened. How come you haven't asked
her yet?"

"Maybe, I'm afraid to know."

"What? How come?"

"Scully, maybe it's just that I have been looking so long for her,
that I'm scared to find out what I thought had happened, didn't
really happen at all. That it was just a figment of my
imagination. I just don't think I could handle it."

Dana pulled his hands into hers and made him look at her.
"Mulder, whatever we find out, I will be here for you. We will
work through it together, and we will make it through this. I
do think the sooner you find out about your sister the better off
we all will be."

Fox looked at the women he loved and pulled her into his arms.
"I know we will be, it's just going to take some time for all this
to sink in." He softly kissed the top of her head. "I think we
should try and get some sleep."

Scully nodded.

The got up from the bed and Scully grabbed her pajamas and
changed into them. Mulder opted to sleep in his boxers.

He got into bed and opened his arms up for Scully. She
accepted his invitation and lay her head on his chest as he
wrapped his arms around him.

"I will be here for you forever, Mulder."

"I know. I just need some time to deal with all of this, I have
never been this close. Now I am and I just don't know how to
deal with it." He hugged her tightly, needing to be as close as
he could to her.

Dana snuggled into him. "I know, it will be okay."

"I hope so. Goodnight Scully."

"Night, Mulder."

Mulder listened to the roar of the traffic outside the window
while Scully slept. Wrapping his arms around her, he thought
of all that had happened. <What if I find out that Sam
is dead? Am I going to be able to deal with that?> He looked at
the sleeping woman lying next to him. <With Dana beside me, I
think I will be able to deal with anything.> He drifted off ever
so slowly to sleep.

Next Morning

Cassie woke up with a killer headache. <It feels like a thousand
little hammers are beating on my brain.> She slowly sat up and
reestablished her bearings. Her eyes were blurry but they slowly
came into focus. <What happened?> She looked over to the
bed were the two Agents were sleeping, and decided not to
wake them. She went into the bathroom and took a long drink
of water and two aspirins. The events of the previous night
slowly came back to her. She sighed at the sight of herself in
the mirror. <Boy do I look awful.> She had dark circles under
her eyes and her hair was astray. <All I need is a shower.> She
grabbed her bag, and had a nice long shower.

Scully woke up with a start to check on the girl.

"Cassie?"

Scully panicked and nudged Mulder, "Mulder, Cassie's gone."

"What?" Mulder tried to wake himself up.

"She's not on the couch."

"Uh, Scully, did you check the bathroom? Isn't that the shower
I hear?"

Scully listened. "Geeze, guess I overreacted, sorry," she said
sheepishly.

"It's okay." He gave her a warm smile. "She probably just woke
up and had to have a shower, you know how that is."

She nodded. "It's just when I saw that she was gone, I just got
scared."

Mulder took her in his arms. "I know, I would have been too."

Scully pulled away from him. "Maybe you should get dressed."
She said motioning to his boxer clad body.

He smiled. "Maybe I should." He got up from the bed and
grabbed his jeans and tugged them on.

Scully got dressed as well, putting on her favorite pair
of jeans and a white shirt she had scammed from Mulder.

"Hey isn't that *my* shirt?"

She looked at herself. "Why I guess it is. You don't mind me
borrowing it do you?" She batted her eyes at him.

"Of course not, I was just checking."

Cassie could here them bantering back and forth and she smiled
to herself. <They love each other so very much, I wonder if I
will ever find a love like that.> She finished towel drying her
hair and went to join the two agents.

"Morning..," Cassie said.

Mulder and Scully stopped talking as she walked into the room.

"Wow, never had that effect before." She smiled.

"Sorry," they both said at the same time.

Cassie laughed.

"How're you feeling this morning?" Mulder asked.

"Compared to last night, much better thanks."

"You had a rough time...."

"I want to explain what happened."

"You don't have to..." Scully protested.

"No, I need to. Last night I got overloaded, I just wanted to
tell you so much. I still have a lot to tell you, but I'm warning
you now though--that what happened last night, may happen
again. Don't be alarmed if it does. It doesn't seem to have any
permanent effect on me, but just to be safe I don't
think I should tell you anything else until we get to the cabin."

Mulder nodded. "That sounds like a good plan to me."

"How about we pack up and go get some breakfast?" Scully
suggested.

Mulder patted his stomach. "I'm starving."

"What's new?" Scully said laughing.

Mulder gave her a 'very funny' look.

Cassie just smiled and threw things into her bag.

The three of them grabbed a quick breakfast and started their
journey deep into the woods.

****
Two hours later

They arrived at the house a little after eleven am. It was a
quaint little place. Small but spacious, it had two bedrooms,
two baths a full kitchen and a living room.

Cassie got out of the Explorer and stretched her legs. "Nice
place."

Mulder fumbled with his keys and found the right one to open
the front door. "A little musty though. Doesn't look as if it has
been used in a while."

Scully followed him in and coughed at the amount of dust that
flew up when she moved the curtains. "Best thing to do is to
open all the windows and get some fresh air in here."

Mulder nodded and started working on the windows. "Cassie,
looks as if you are in luck, there are two bedrooms this time."
he called out to her from the window.

Cassie sat on the front steps of the house and thought. She was
going to have to tell him about his sister sooner or later.
<Maybe I should just do it and get it over with.> She got up
from the stairs and made her way inside.

Scully investigated the kitchen. <Luckily we bought food. Not
much here but some cans of soup.> She checked to make sure
the fridge was working and went to find Mulder.

"Mulder?"

"Over here... " He was searching through the closet. "Scully,
look what I found." He was holding up a huge kite. "Pretty
neat, huh?"

"Yeah, great.. have you seen Cassie?"

"Right here." She had been standing right behind them.

"Cassie, look what I found."

"Cool, lets hope the wind picks up and we can fly it."

Mulder nodded.

"Umm.. Can I talk to you two?" She had to tell him, she
couldn't put it off any longer, she had to tell him about his
sister.

"Of course."

Mulder and Scully sat on the couch while Cassie paced.

"Mulder, what I'm about to tell you, may hurt you. I just want
you to know that, well, that's the last thing I want to do, but I
feel you need to know."

Mulder nodded and linked his hands with Scully's.

"It's about your sister and what happened to her. Mulder- Oh
God, where do I start?? First off, the people who took her,
they were the same people that took Dana. They did that to
silence your father. Your father was a very powerful man in the
FBI, more so than I think even you are aware of. This power
made him vulnerable to the likes of the Cancerman.
Your father was the head of a project called Project Diego,
named for where they found the Aliens they were cross
breeding with Humans. I know you have both heard of
Roswell, but what you haven't heard was in 1971 there was
another U.F.O crash. This happened in San Diego, California.
Your father was put in charge of the Project because of his
loyalty to the FBI, but as the project progressed; your father
became more and more disheartened with what was going on.
He wanted out, and he was going to take all his research with
him. Well the 'higher ups' couldn't let that happen. They
threatened him, told him bad things would happen if he
proceeded with his actions. I guess he didn't believe them and
two years later your sister was taken." She paused and looked
at him, tried to read his reaction, but all she saw was a blank
stare.

"Do you want me to go on?"

All Mulder could do was nod.

"Okay, so your sister was taken by 'them'. The same men
responsible for Dana's abduction and the experiments performed
on me. It was staged to look like an alien abduction, right up to
the flashing lights." She crouched down beside him. "Mulder,
you have to know it wasn't your fault, there was nothing you
could do."

"My sister. Where is she now?"

Cassie nodded. "Mulder, she is okay. I need you to know that.
She has no recollection of you or her life before. They made
sure of that. And she is okay, she's living in Texas somewhere.
I'm sorry, I don't know where exactly. Things are a bit cloudy
right now. I've been trying to remember, please believe me, but
it's just hard sometimes. I figure that, once I get some of this
information out of me, I should be able to remember exactly
where she is."

Cassie started to shake. "It's happening again. Damn it!."

Mulder rushed to her side, and she collapsed in his arms, still
trembling. He brought her to the couch and lay her there. He
looked at Dana who was grabbing a cold cloth for Cassie's
head, and he pointed outside indicating that he was going for a
walk.

Dana lay the cold cloth on her forehead and went to look for
him. She didn't have to look far.

Mulder was sitting on the picnic table about twenty feet away
from the cabin, with his head in his hands. He was trying not to
be mad or disappointed, but so far he wasn't having much luck
with either.

Dana walked slowly over to him. Unsure of what to say, she
said nothing at all and just sat by him.

After a moment of silence she spoke. "Do you believe her?"

He shot a look at her. "What do you mean? Don't you?"

"Yes *I* do, but do you? Mulder, what is it you're afraid of?"

"I don't know. It's just... I'm so close to finding Sam, I can feel
it. But what happens when I do find her? What then? That's
what I'm afraid of."

She put her arms around him. "Mulder, what will it change? If
you do find her, will it change you? Will it change how you feel
about her? About me? What?"

He got up from the picnic table. "I don't know." He shook his
head. "Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you, but it
may change me. Scully, what if I find her and she doesn't want
to have anything to do with me? What if she blames me? What
will I do then?"

"Mulder, you have looked for her for so long. Don't you owe it
to yourself to finish the journey?"

"I just don't think I could take it if she hates me, Scully. What if
we find her and she despises me? I really don't think I could live
after that."

"Mulder." She got up and took his hands in hers. "We will cross
that bridge when we come to it. That's the only thing we can
do."

"My mind understands that. It's my heart that's having trouble
with it."

She sighed. "Well there's no use sitting here feeling sorry for
yourself. There's a young girl in there that needs our help, and
we have to find a way to get her back to normal."

"I know." He shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I just never
*really* thought I'd be this close to finding Samantha."

"When we find her, everything will turn out okay. You've got to
believe that; I'll be here with you every step of the way. It's
going to be fine." She smiled at him.

He hugged her tightly. "With you with me, I think I can face
anything." He kissed her forehead. "Why don't we go and check
on Cassie."

Dana linked her arm with his and walked back into the cabin.

Two Hours later

Mulder had fallen asleep on the bed in the back of the cabin.
He was emotionally drained. The admission from Cassie that his
sister was still alive was all that he could take for one day. Both
he and Scully had agreed that they would hold off contacting
the Canadian chapter of the Lone Gunmen until the following
day. Mulder needed his rest, and Cassie still had many things
to tell them.

Cassie woke up some time later, feeling much better. She
noticed it was much darker than when she had collapsed. She
looked at her watch and saw that it was nearly 10 pm. <Geeze,
that one put me out.> She got up from the couch and walked
over to the window. She looked out into the darkened sky,
wondering if Mulder's sister was looking up at the same sky.
<God, if you are listening, I know I am not the most religious
person, but if you can find it in your heart, please help that man
find his sister. Even if it means taking me. He has gone through
so much. I don't think he can handle much more.> She walked
away from the window and into the kitchen.

Trying to be as quiet as possible she grabbed herself a snack of
three oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a tall glass of milk.
She walked out to the back porch and sat down on one of the
lawn chairs. Staring up at the sky she wondered how Mulder
was dealing with all this.

End of Part 4

Part 5

Mulder tossed and turned all night. Scully felt his body rub
against hers periodically. He seemed to be coping with the
revelation that his sister was still alive fairly well. At least the
nightmares didn't plague him. Scully wrapped her arms around
his chest and nestled her head into him. She was finally starting
to fall asleep when it happened; Mulder began to flail his arms
about and screamed a blood-curdling scream that chilled her to
the bone.

"No, God, please... not again...stop..I'll do anything." Mulder
was pleading with someone.

Scully lightly nudged him and whispered his name.

Mulder continued to beg, "Please, just let us be... take me..
don't take Dana."

*Oh god he was dreaming about her...* She shook him.
"Mulder, wake up."

Mulder slowly slipped into consciousness and started crying. He
clung tightly to her.

"Mulder, my God.. You're burning up." She smoothed his hair
from his face. "Let me go get you some water."

He clung to her more tightly. "No, don't leave me--stay here."

"Okay... " She wrapped her small arms around him enjoying the
warmth of him against her. He lay his head on her chest and
seemed to relax as she whispered soft soothing, and caring
words to him.

Cassie sat upright. She'd heard Mulder screaming. She
wondered if it was nightmares that made him so upset.
<Probably.> She was beginning to have deep feelings of guilt.
<If I hadn't come to him. Damn it Cassie, you should have just
let it be.> Cassie knew what she had to do. She got up and
went into her bedroom and grabbed her unpacked suitcase. She
left a note for the two agents, telling them she was sorry for
what she put them through and she hoped one day she would
see them again.

Scully maneuvered herself from underneath the now sleeping
Mulder and to check on Cassie. She knew that Cassie had
probably heard his screams as well, and she wanted to assure
her he was fine. Finding that Cassie had disappeared, she
tugged on her jeans and sweatshirt and slipped on her sandals.
<Damn it Cassie, where did you go.> She was just about the
head out the front door when she noticed a note addressed to her
and Mulder.

Dana and Mulder,

Sorry I hurt you both so badly,
I feel it's best if I leave now before anything
else horrible happens.

Love
Cassie

Dana sighed and went out into the warm summer air. <She
couldn't have gotten far.> She looked around the house, and
down the dirt road a bit. She heard some rustling in the trees
and cocked her gun. "Who's there?"

No answer.

"FBI Agent, and I'm armed."

"Dana, please don't shoot, it's me."

"Cassie?"

"Yeah, I kinda thought I could take a short cut but got lost."
She shrugged her shoulders and came out from the woods.

Dana gave the girl a hug. "Cassie, please don't ever just leave
like that."

"But--Mulder, I heard him--he, was having nightmares wasn't
he."

"Cassie, lets go back to the house and maybe I can explain a
few things about Mulder."

Cassie nodded and followed inside the house. They sat on the
porch and Cassie listened as Scully tried to explain her ever so
complicated partner.

Dana sighed, "Cassie, you see, Mulder--well he is always
plagued by nightmares, whether they're about Sam or myself it
doesn't really matter. But just because you told him about his
sister isn't why he had them tonight. Mulder is plagued with
guilt over Sam's abduction and my own. It's something I have
tried to help him deal with. Even though he knows I never
blamed him, he still feels as if it was his fault. Mulder is always
trying to protect people, especially those that he cares about.
He has taken a liking to you, and if you leave without him being
able to help you, well that would crush him. Again he would
feel responsible, so please don't think you are burdening either
of us, okay? We want to help you, I don't think I can ever
repay you for what you have told me."

"What do you mean?"

"You told me I'm going to be okay, for that I am indebted to
you," she smiled. "So you aren't going to leave again are you?"

Cassie shook her head no, she was beginning to understand why
Mulder was so in love with the women before her. Scully was
one special lady. She felt lucky to know her.

"Good, let's go inside and I'll make some breakfast."

*******

25 miles into the British Colombian Bush

The three men, checked and double checked their surveillance
equipment. They had been tracking the 2 FBI Agents and the
young girl ever since they had entered BC. They looked
somewhat like their American counterparts; there was Dakota,
the long haired communications specialist, Monroe, the short
the photographic and special operations expert and Greene,
who would never be caught without a suit on, information
specialist.

Their American's had supplied them with dossiers on Mulder,
Scully and Cassie.

"Greene, can you hear them?" Monroe asked.

"Got them."

"Well, what are they saying?"

"The red head, which I assume is Dana Scully, is talking to the
younger girl, Cassie Wentworth. Damn, they just went inside, I
lost them."

"Dakota, did you get all that?"

"Got it."

The reasons for the early surveillance, was to make sure they
were who they claimed to be. This trio was more paranoid than
their American Counterparts.
****************
The two of them ate breakfast as Mulder slept. After Dana
finished she got up to check on Mulder.

"Mulder, its time to wake up." She said softly to him.

Mulder stirred but didn't open his eyes.

She lightly nudged him.

"Mmmm."

"Mulder, we need to talk about what happened last night.
Cassie needs to talk about it. And no matter what pain you are
going through, you have to overlook that, cause that girl needs
our help. And if you let your emotions get the best of you, we
won't be much good to her." She knew Mulder could hear her,
and she also know he was going to have a tough time with all of
this. He had been close to finding his sister a few times, but
each time it turned out to be a lie or a hoax. And even the one
time he thought it was Sam, he had traded that chance for her
life. Maybe that was why it is so hard for him, Mulder tended
to keep a lot of guilt stored up inside. That was something she
had tried to help him overcome, and it would work for a week
or two, but then something would always happen to make him
shrink back into the guilt ridden man he was right now. She
was about to walk out of the room when he called to her.

"Scully?"

"I'm still here."

"I know you're right, really I do. I just need sometime to deal
with this."

"Well Mulder, while you are dealing with this, there is a young
girl who is in a whole lot of pain right now. She blames herself,
and I don't know about you, but I for one can't just stand back
and watch it."

"I'm not asking you to."

"What are you asking me then?"

"I don't know what I want anymore, for so long my only quest
was to find Sam, but now.... now I just don't know."

She sat down on the bed. "Mulder, I know you have demons to
overcome, we all do. And I know how hard it was for you after
your sister disappeared, I know your father wasn't the gentlest
man..."

"Stop... I don't want to talk about it!" He got up from the bed.

"Mulder, listen to me, you have to talk about this, because if
you don't it will eat away at you. Say you never find her, what
then? Are you going to just keep this all inside? If you do, you
will be one lonely man, because no matter how much I love
you, I can't watch you destroy yourself."

"Then don't."

She laughed. "That's your answer for everything isn't? Just
leave.... cut all the strings. Well I have news for you, you're
not getting rid of me that easily, but if you keep doing this
Mulder, you will not only lose me, you'll lose your job and your
precious X-Files. But more importantly you will lose yourself."

"Jesus, what do you want from me? Tell me and I will sure as
hell do it. Just tell me what you want!"

"Mulder, it's not about what I want, it's about what you have to
do. You have to get over these feelings of guilt you have. The
ones that you have carried from the time your sister
disappeared. And of course the ones from when I disappeared,
Mulder listen to me *it's not your fault*."

"That's so easy for you to say Scully, but you weren't there.
You didn't see your lifeless body in the hospital, you didn't feel
the way I felt when you were gone. It killed me. Without you I
felt as if half of me was dead. When I saw you in the hospital
like that, and they told me there was a slim chance you would
make it.... I didn't know what I was going to do,
or how I was going to go on. So don't tell me to not feel guilty
okay, because you and I both know it was my fault."

"Mulder, I have never blamed you. Can you tell me why it is
your fault?"

"If I had been there that night, Duane wouldn't have gotten to
you. I should have been there." He sat on the bed with his face
in his hands.

Dana sat beside him, "Mulder," she said softly. "I know if you
could have been there you would have, but it happened. We
can't keep doing this, because no matter how many rounds we
go on this topic, it always comes back to you feeling guilty. I
know you did everything in your power to find me, and that's all
that matters. There was nothing more that you could have
done." She stroked his hair and let him lean into her. "Mulder,
you have to stop this, just let it go."

He nodded.

"Cassie can't see you like this Mulder. She ran away last night
because she's afraid you blame her."

"Why? She wasn't even around when my sister was abducted."

"I know, but she heard you last night. You had some
nightmares, and she thinks it was because she told you about
Sam."

Mulder sighed. "I guess I should go talk to her."

"Well, I kind of already did."

"What'd you tell her?"

"Mulder, she was so upset..."

"What did you tell her, Scully?"

"I just told her that you are plagued by nightmares all the time,
and it's not just from Sam's abduction, but that it stems from my
own as well."

"I see. I still think I should go talk to her."

Scully nodded.

Mulder got up from the bed, and grabbed his jeans. Walking
over to the bureau he grabbed a clean T-shirt and went to face
his demons.

End of part 5

Part 6

Cassie went outside so she would not overhear their private
conversation. She walked around the area a bit, but settled on
sitting at the picnic table. She rubbed her eyes, wondering why
this was all happening to her. <Okay, kiddo, looks like you have
really screwed up this time. You should have waited to
tell him, waited until you knew he was ready.> She sighed and
leaned back on the table, closing her eyes and absorbing the
sunshine.

"Cassie--can we talk?"

Startled, she stiffened and threw her head forward.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Mind if I sit down?"

"Sure," she moved over to the end of the bench.

Mulder opted to sit on the other side of the table. "I know you
know that I'm having some trouble with what you told me
about Sam."

"God, Mulder, if I'd known, I mean if there is anything I could
do to..."

"Let me finish," he sighed... "I carry around a lot of guilt. Most
of the time I deny it, and pretend everything is okay, but in
reality I'm not doing so well. I will admit it all started when
my sister was abducted, and I felt responsible. I shouldn't have
let it happen. It was my job to protect her, and I failed."

Cassie tried to speak but Mulder shushed her.

"Then when Scully disappeared, it was like losing Sam all over
again. And all those feelings of guilt flooded back. Again I felt
as if it was my fault. Again I had failed the only person I truly
loved and that had loved me back. When Sam disappeared, my
father blamed me. He made it out to be my fault. I believed him
when he would tell me that, I believed I was no good. That I
would never be good enough to do anything right. After the
divorce, well I felt even more guilt, because I knew that they
had gotten divorced because of Sam's abduction. My mother
blamed my father and in turn he blamed me. So when you told
me that Sam was still alive, again the old feelings of guilt came
back. It was if I had failed her all over again. Here she is alive
and well, and I still haven't found her."

"Mulder, what your father did to you, it wasn't right. It wasn't
your fault, he knew about it. He knew it was going to happen.
At first he thought it was just a threat, you know, and that they
wouldn't go through with it. If he had only kept his mouth shut
about the project, she would have never been taken. Mulder, I
know that all of this is very hard for you to digest right now,
but I believe you will get through this. Look at how much you
have been through so far, all that you have seen. Is it really
worth it all just to give up now?"

"What do you mean *he knew*? I mean you said that it was a
way to silence him, but he couldn't have willingly let it happen."
Mulder's eyes pleaded with her to tell him the truth.

"Things were different back then, the FBI, was involved with
bad things, things that were very unethical. They had huge
underground laboratories. Your father worked in one of these.
Cancerman came to your father one day, and told him that if he
didn't continue his work and keep his mouth shut on certain
sensitive matters, he would find himself without his daughter.
He just came right out and said it, your father, chose not to
believe him, so he started smuggling out data, and lab reports.
Once the Cancerman got wind of this, he set his plan of
abducting your sister."

Mulder rubbed his face. "Jesus". He always suspected that his
father must have had some involvement in Sam's abduction, he
just didn't know he had this much.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so. I mean I never thought of my father as a saint, but
to do this to his own kids..... I just have one question, why her?
Why not me?"

"You were already being groomed for the FBI."

"What?"

"Mulder, do you remember, back in grade school? How you
would do aptitude tests?"

He nodded.

"Well, those tests where to tell if you would make a good FBI
agent or not. Since your father was involved with the FBI, it
was natural for them to think you would make a good Agent,
and your test scores proved to them that you would be. That's
why you were sent to Oxford, and it's why they recruited you
into the bureau. That's the only reason you weren't taken
and Sam was. It had nothing to do with favoritism, I want you
to know that."

"I need to take a walk."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I will. How about you? Feeling tired?"

"A bit."

"Why don't you go lie down. When I get back we can explain
this all to Scully, okay?" He smiled at her.

She nodded and made her way into the house.

Mulder took off running. He just couldn't understand why his
father would do that. He ran and ran 'til he was fully out of
breath. He found himself surrounded by a rippling stream, and
miles of trees. Settling against the trunk of one of the trees he
rested and tried to let all he had learned sink in.

**********

"How'd it go?" Scully asked her.

"Okay, I guess. I just laid all the cards on the table. I think he's
trying to make sense of it now."

"Where did he go?"

"For a run."

"I hope you know that none of this is your fault. You are only
doing what is right."

"I know. I think I'm going to go lie down for a bit."

Scully nodded and watch her walk in to her bedroom. She
sighed and finished washing dishes. <Mulder, wherever you are,
I hope you working this out.>

*****************
Mulder heard a rustling from the bushes, and all of a sudden a
short man pushed his way through. Mulder went for his gun,
but realized he had left it back at the house.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

"Frohike was right, you are a lanky thing." The short man
walked over and extended his hand. "The name is Monroe, nice
to meet you."

"Monroe?"

"I am a member of the Canadian Chapter of the Lone Gunmen.
Don't worry. We're here to help."

"We?"

Just then the other two members of the Canadian Lone Gunmen
came out from behind the bushes.

"Greene, Dakota, this is Fox Mulder."

Mulder didn't know what to think. "How do I know you are
who you say you are?"

Monroe laughed. "Frohike was right, you are paranoid."

"I still want to see some ID."

Monroe pulled out his Lone Gunmen Card, and showed it to
Mulder.

"Okay, so you are a Lone Gunman. Did the boys tell you
anything about this case?"

"We are up to date on it all. And we think we might have a way
to help her."

"Well let's go." Mulder began to walk away.

"Wait, where are we going?" Green asked.

"To meet Cassie."

**********************
Scully had just finished washing dishes when she heard a
commotion outside.

"You know you are just too much like Frohike, Monroe."
Mulder walked up the steps of the house and opened the door
to a gun toting Scully.

"Dana!"

"Oh my god, its just you. I heard voices and I got nervous." She
hugged him tightly.

"I'm okay. Dana I want you to meet the Canadian Lone
Gunmen, Monroe, Greene, and Dakota."

Scully shook each man's hand. "Nice to meet you all." She
added under her breath. "I think."

"They said they might know a way to help Cassie."

Scully nodded and let them into the house. "She's still resting.
Can I get you guys anything to drink?"

A trio of "No thank yous" was heard.

She led them into the kitchen, and sitting down at the table,
asked them, "How are you going to do it?"

"Wow, straight to the point. I like that." Monroe smiled at her.

Dana sighed. "Listen, let's cut the crap. I don't need three
paranoid men helping us, okay? It's bad enough I have one. So
just tell us what to do and we'll do it?"

Mulder looked at her, but didn't say anything.

"Well..." Monroe said cautiously. "We talked to Byers last night
and both your apartments have been ransacked. Skinner is
about to explode and you mother is worried sick."

"Damn it! I knew this was going to happen." Mulder pushed
himself away from the table. "Can you get a message to
Frohike and tell him to make sure Mrs. Scully knows we are all
right?"

"And Skinner?"

"Just leave Skinner. It's best if we don't get him involved."

Dakota brought out a cell phone.

"Aren't you guys scared of unsecured lines?" Mulder asked.

"Mulder, we don't worry about such unimportant things. This
phone was specially made so no one can tap into it, or trace it.
Now if I could only get a signal." He walked out the back door
and began pacing to and fro.

"Now, about our plan, we have this contact, says he's worked
with cases like Cassie's before. He has this program that
reworks what they did. But once its done, there is no turning
back. She won't remember a thing that was programmed into
her."

Mulder sighed. "Well let's do it then."

"Mulder, can I speak to you for a minute?" Dana asked him
getting up from the table.

He nodded and followed her out of the room.

"Mulder, you do realize once this is done, you won't be able to
find out from Cassie where your sister is?" she whispered.

"Scully, I know, but we have to do it."

"It's going to be okay. You'll make it through this. We *will*
find her."

"Lets go find out what it's going to take."

She smiled and followed him into the kitchen.

End of Part 6

Part 7

While the Gunmen explained the procedure, Mulder, Scully and
Cassie, sat on the couch in horror.

"Now, it really sounds worse that it is."

"Jesus Christ! You're talking about slicing her open and taking
out part of her brain, you're damn right it sounds awful."
Mulder shot up from the couch, obviously very upset.

The procedure itself was very complicated, Cassie would go in
to his office in the morning, the doctor would make a small
incision at the base of her neck, then carefully remove the part
of the brain that stored that particular information. It would be
painless, and the after effects were slim to none. The only
problem with the surgery was that because it was fairly new,
there were some dangers involved. The doctor had a window
of three minutes to get in and out, before he caused serious
damage. Any time over that and she could end up brain dead.
The doctor had performed many operations like this, but there
was still a 25% chance that something could go wrong.

"Mulder, it's the only way," Dakota said.

"There's got to be another way, I can't let you do this to her."

Cassie stood up. "Let's do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Mulder, it is the only way. I have to do this because either way
I will die. You can't protect me forever and as long as *they*
know I'm out here, they won't stop 'til they kill me themselves."

Mulder sat down in defeat. Not since Scully's abduction had he
felt so useless.

"Mulder, don't you see, it's the only choice I have." She bent
own and looked in his eyes to see if he understood.

He nodded.

"When can we do it?" She got up, and walked over to the
window. "The sooner the better."

"Tomorrow morning, is that soon enough?" Dakota smiled at
the young girl.

"Ah... one more thing.. The boys back home found Robert
Landsly, well more like he found them."

"What do you mean?" Scully asked.

"A few days ago a file was left on the doorstep of their office, in
it, were pictures. Pictures of Cassie, and some other children.
There was also a letter from Landsly, saying he felt much
remorse for his involvement in the experiments that were
performed on her, and because of this remorse he couldn't go
on living anymore. He was found dead yesterday."

"How do they know it was him?" Mulder piped up.

"Frohike said it was because of the picture they found when
they developed the film from Cassie's camera. The picture
matched the Senator that died yesterday..."

"Senator?" Cassie spun around. "What do you mean Senator?"
She started to gasp for air. Her heart was racing, and she felt
very dizzy.

"He was a Senator, his real name was Matthew Stringfield, he
had been involved with the FBI for years, though no one
realized how deeply. Are you okay?"

She shook her head. "No, can't breath.... Gonna throw up..."

Scully rushed to her side, "It's okay. Cassie take deep cleansing
breaths. That's good, just like that. Mulder, can you get me
some water."

Mulder grabbed a glass from the kitchen and got Cassie some
water. "Here Cassie, drink this."

Cassie took a long drink of the water, and she calmed down a
bit. "He can't be a senator. He was so awful. Why? Why are
the men of this country, the ones to whom we are taught to
trust with our lives, why do they do things like this?" She sank
to the floor and softly wept in Scully's arms. Mulder pointed
outside and the three gunmen followed him out.

"Do they know about her yet?"

Monroe nodded. "We think so. If they didn't before, they do
now. He was a high profile senator, Mulder. He had direct
connections to the FBI. They're going to want to do everything
they can to this keep quiet."

"Who are these people that can do things like that? That can
play God with other peoples lives?" Mulder sat down at the
picnic table and placed his head in his hands. "Do you guys
honestly think that once we get all this stuff out of her she will
be safe?" He asked looking up at them.

Dakota rubbed his face. "Honestly, we think she will still be in
danger. The only way to protect her is to have her go into
hiding. Mulder, we have thought long and hard about this.
We've discussed strategies with the other Lone Gunmen. And
well.... The only solution we can come up with is... to have her
stay with us after the surgery. It's the only way she'll be safe,
Mulder."

"I know, we can't take her back with us. It would be too easy
for them to get to her. You're sure no one knows she is with us
here?"

"Positive. After the surgery tomorrow, we think it's best, if you
two go home. We'll take care of her Mulder. She'll be okay with
us."

Scully came out of the house and sat beside Mulder. "Who will
be okay with you?" She asked.

"Cassie," Mulder looked at her. "They said she can stay with
them after the surgery. I think we both know that if we bring
her back to Washington with us, she'll be in danger."

Dana sighed. "So who gets to tell her?"

*******************************
They let Cassie sleep for a few hours. By the time she woke up
they five of them had devised a plan to keep her safe. For one
year she would stay in Canada with the Lone Gunmen. After
that year she would have be able to choose where she would
like to live. During that year, the Gunmen promised
to teach her how to be safe, about who to trust and most of all
where to go if she was ever in danger again.

Mulder and Scully both knew this was the only way, but still
they felt pangs of guilt that she couldn't go back with them.
They would keep in touch with her, and if she so decided to
come back to Washington after the year was up, she would
have a place to stay.

Cassie took it all well. She had always been the kind of person
that went with whatever was going on. She could feel the
sadness in the air, though. Mulder hadn't said but two words to
her except to tell her of their plan. Cassie honestly was looking
forward to it. She had grown to like the other members of the
Lone Gunmen just as she had Frohike, Byers and Langly.

Later on that night, after the Gunmen had returned home,
Cassie approached Mulder for one last talk.

"Mulder, you got a minute?"

"Sure, sit down." He moved over on the couch.

She smiled. "So this is it. Tomorrow I'll be a free women, so to
speak."

He nodded.

"Mulder, I know you're disappointed, but I want you to know,
I'm okay with it. Really, I'll be fine. I mean I could be worse
off, I could have no one on my side and still running from
*them*. This way I actually have a chance to lead a normal
life."

"Cassie, I'm not disappointed. I just wish there was some other
way."

"I know you do, but life goes on Mulder. You'll go back to
Washington with Scully, and lead your lives. You'll forget all
about me."

"We will never forget about you, and when I find Sam I will
make sure she knows how much you helped me."

"Mulder, I truly believe that you'll find her. It may not happen
for a few years, but my gut instinct tells me that one day you
will see your sister again. I'm not usually wrong about things
like that." She smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Be strong
okay? And whatever you do; don't ever let go of Dana. You
two have something special. Don't ever let your crusade get in
the way of your feelings for her." She got up and started her
way to her room.

"Cassie."

She stopped and turned to face him. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything. You are a truly remarkable person."

"Coming from you, I think that is the highest compliment
anyone has ever paid me."

He smiled.

"Good-night Mulder."

"Night."

They all slept lightly that night. With the coming days activities
it was hard for any of them not to think about it. Cassie slept
the worst of them all though, tossing and turning. Every time
she closed her eyes she pictured things. Old cases that Mulder
and Scully had done, the Cancerman laughing at them, the
needles prodding her body. It finally got so bad that she gave
up sleeping at all and went outside to lay underneath the star
filled sky.

Cassie spent most of that night thinking back to her childhood.
Wondering how she had ended up in a predicament like the one
that she was in. She wasn't one that was big on self pity, but
that night she allowed herself to wallow in it. She was thankful
for everything that Mulder and Scully had done for her, but she
still wondered if there wasn't more that she could do. It
dawned on her after two hours of sitting under the stars; the key
to how she could help them. She ran into the house to wake
them up.

End of Part 7

Part 8

Cassie lightly shook Dana awake. "Dana, I need to talk to you
both. Come into the kitchen."

"What?" She slowly opened her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to talk to you guys."

"Okay, I'll wake Mulder up and we'll meet you in there."

Cassie nodded and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Mulder, come on get up. Cassie needs to talk to us." She
nudged him, and felt him stir.

"What is it, Scully?"

"I don't know. She said she just has to talk to us."

He yawned and got up from the bed. "Let's go see what she has
to say."

The sat around the kitchen table. Cassie poured them all some
coffee, in hopes to wake them up.

"I was thinking. I know of a way I can help you find your
sister."

"Listen, Cassie, don't worry about that. Just worry about
getting yourself ready for tomorrow."

"We have to postpone the operation by a day...."

"What? How come?" Mulder asked in disbelief.

"I need to go under hypnotic regression. Now before you say
anything, I know the risks. I know I could go into major
overload and not come out of it. But it's something I *have* to
do."

"No, I can't let you do this Cassie. Not if it's for my sake."

"Mulder, listen to me. I need to do this. With or without your
help, I'm *going* to do this, I just thought it would be better
this way, to get you to help me."

"Cassie, its too dangerous."

"Listen Mulder, you and Dana have put your lives and careers
on the line for me. Let me do something for you. Now I know
you have connections, and I know you can get someone out
here by tomorrow that can help me with regressing back and
finding out where you sister is. What I want to know is if you'll
do it."

"Why?"

"Mulder, do you always have to question things? Why can't you
just accept that I need to do this and be happy with that?"

"Fine, I'll make the arrangements, but not by choice." He got up
from the table and went to use the phone in the bedroom.

"He's, upset isn't he?"

"He'll get over it. It may take awhile, and lord knows if
something happens because of what you are about to do..."

"He'll never forgive himself."

"Right."

"But at least I'll know I tried."

"Why don't you try and get some sleep? I'm sure Mulder has
already made arrangements for someone to come here in a few
hours. I'll wake you up when he gets here."

Cassie smiled. "If Mulder ever asks you why, tell him I did it for
him, okay? Try and make him understand that, because I know
right now he's beating himself up over this. Never let it be said
that Fox Mulder is an uncaring man, because the exact opposite
is true. He is one of the most caring human beings I have ever
had the privilege of knowing." She got up from the table and
went to lie down.

Scully sat there for a few moments. She knew once Mulder was
done making arrangements he would come find her. If not to
talk about the plans, then to let her know how he was doing.
And she was right . A few minutes later Mulder walked into the
kitchen.

"Are you okay?" She asked, tentatively.

"I think so, a little worried though." He leaned against the door
jam.

"I know you are. But Mulder this is something she wants to
do."

"I know. It's just going to be hard."

"Why don't we go to bed?" She got up and offered him her
hand. He accepted and followed her into the bedroom. They
tried to sleep, but mostly they just lay in each others arms in
silence, both wondering about the day before them.

****************

The man Mulder had contacted to do the regression was named
Dr. Shane Laters. He lived about 25 minutes from the Cabin.
Mulder had called the Canadian Lone Gunmen and told them
what was going on. They were going to contact the doctor to
postpone the surgery 'til the next day.

The three of them arrived at the man's house a little after eleven
AM. They were taken into a small room with four chairs.
Cassie sat in the chair farthest away from the door. The doctor
sat down directly in front of her. Mulder and Scully took the
other two chairs left in the room.

"Okay, Cassie I want you to relax and listen to the sound of my
voice. I want you to picture a place, this place is where you
feel safe. Can you see it?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I want you to picture yourself in this place. You feel at
ease here."

"MMMhmmm."

"Okay, I'm going to count to ten and when I get to ten you will
be under. You will be able to remember everything that was
stored in your mind. One, two, three, four, five, you are getting
very relaxed, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Okay Cassie you are in
a very relaxed state of mine. You can see everything."

"Do you want to ask her some questions?" The doctor asked
Mulder.

"Cassie, can you see Sam?"

"She's in a house. I can see her. She's happy Fox; but wondering
where you are. Cancerman is there. He's telling her if she tries
to contact you, he will kill you."

"But wait, you said before that she doesn't remember me."

"I did? Well I was wrong. She remembers you Fox, and misses
you dearly. Cancerman has told her that the only way that she
will see you again, is if you find her."

Mulder sat back in his chair and clutched Scully's hand.

"It'll be okay." she whispered to him.

He nodded.

Cassie continued. "I don't know exactly where she is.. Texas I
believe...on a ranch...by a waterfall. It's a small town, she....."
Cassie started to twitch and shake, her body whipped back and
forth in the chair.

Dr. Laters crouched beside her and tried to steady her body.

"Call an ambulance!" Mulder told Scully. He took Cassie in his
arms and whispered to her, "Cassie, it's me Mulder, can you
hear me?"

"She's still under...."

"Well get it her out of it!"

Dr. Laters did as he was told. "Cassie, I'm going to count back
from ten, by the time I get to one you will be fully awake."

Cassie was still trembling in Mulder's arms as the doctor
counted back from ten.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Okay
Cassie, you are fully awake now. Can you hear me?"

"Yes," she said weakly.

"Cassie, there's an ambulance on its way, you'll be okay."

"Head hurts...want to sleep."

"No, Cassie, you have to stay awake."

"Mulder, I'm sorry..." Cassie then lost consciousness.

Just then the paramedics rushed in and took her from his arms.
They set about trying to revive her.

Scully took Mulder by the hand and led him out of the room.

"It's all my fault. If only I hadn't let her do this. Scully, what if
she dies?"

He slid down the wall he was leaning against. Sitting on the
floor he placed his head in his hands.

Scully crouched beside him. "Mulder, you know you can't
blame yourself. Cassie told me if anything happened today to
makes sure you understood that it wasn't your fault." She tipped
his chin upward. "Don't do this to yourself. Please Fox-- she'll
be okay.

"And what if she isn't?"

"Come here." She sat on the floor and let him lean into her,
softly weeping. They waited for any news on Cassie.

The paramedics came out a few moments later.

"Well?" Mulder looked up.

"She's stable, but we have to get her to a hospital right away.
Otherwise she might not make it."

They got up from the floor and walked back into the room.

Cassie was still unconscious, but not twitching anymore.

Mulder and Scully followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Mulder told himself over and over, that she would be all right.
Still in the back of his mind he had his doubts.

The doctors met the paramedics at the emergency room doors.
They rushed Cassie in and began working on her.

Mulder and Scully waited in the waiting room for any news.

"Mulder, she's going to be okay."

"When are they going to tell us something?"

"It's only been a few minutes."

"I know--I'm just worried, that's all."

"I know you are. We'll know something soon."

It was two hours before they heard anything. The doctor came
into the waiting room, and from the look on his face he didn't
have good news.

"Is she okay?"

"Maybe you should sit down."

"I don't want to sit down. Just tell me if she's okay, damn it!."

"Fifteen minutes ago Cassie went into Cardiac arrest. We did
everything we could do to save her. She was pronounced dead
at 1:33 PM. I'm sorry."

"No, she can't be." Mulder felt numb. It was all he could do to
keep standing.

"Mulder, I'm sorry." Scully put her arms around him.

"This isn't happening. She wasn't supposed to die."

**************************
Part 9
Epilogue

Two Weeks later
AD Skinners office.

The two agents sat down in AD Skinner's office. They had
returned home from Canada only a few days earlier. They were
both still trying to deal with the fact that Cassie had died.

"She's dead?"

"Yes, we buried her two days ago in a private ceremony."

"You still haven't explained why it is she came to you."

"Like we told you before, she needed our help. We did the best
we could," Mulder answered a bit defensively.

"Is that all you are going to tell me?"

They were both silent.

"Fine, fill out the expense forms and we'll forget it ever
happened."

"Excuse me, Sir?"

"Agent Mulder, I know that this young girl meant a lot to you,
and that she gave you some clues to where your sister is. It's no
use dragging her through bureaucratic bull now. Let's let her
rest in peace."

"Thank you, Sir."

They got up and went to their office in the basement. Scully
was the first to speak.

"Mulder, I know this is going to be hard. It's hard for me too,
but you can't blame yourself."

"Scully, I don't think she's dead."

"Come on we both saw the body."

"Call it a gut instinct, but I think she's still alive somewhere and
we're going to find her."

"How?"

"By finding my sister."

*************************
In a Small House just outside Dallas, Texas

Cassie woke up to the smell of pancakes cooking and a woman
standing over her bed.

"Where am I?" she asked the brown haired women.

"You're safe." She sat on the edge of the bed.

"What do you mean?"

"Cassie, how much do you remember?"

"Not much. I do remember a man and a woman. They tried to
help me ."

"Yes, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. They did everything they
could."

"Where are they?"

"Back in Washington, DC."

"Why? Who are you and why am I here?"

"My name is Samantha Mulder. I'm here to help you.
Everything's going to be okay. Something was done to you
Cassie that has be rectified. Unfortunately for you to stay alive
you had to come here. It was the only way."

"When can I see them?"

"I'm sorry, but you can't."

"Why?"

"Cassie, they think you died."

"I see."

"Don't worry. Fox will find us someday. From what I've been
told, you regressed enough to tell him specific things about
where I was. He'll put it all together and find us soon." She
smiled and got up from the bed.

"Sam?"

"Yes."

"Do you think they're okay?"

"With each other they'll be fine."

The end.
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