The Spot
Disclaimer:
M+S are not mine. Maggie Scully is not mine. Boy, I'm so glad IThud. Thud. Thud. 13 year old Fox Mulder was taking three steps at a time
going down the staircase.
His aunt Allegra had left money on the table for him, she was walking late,
again. However, it wasn't his father's version of working late, she didn't
drink.
He knew where he was going to eat tonight. He could hardly wait.
"Simon Says." Read the sign.
Fox pushed open the door.
The man looked up from behind the deli counter and smiled. "Young Fox,
it's it a little cold to not wear a jacket?"
"Hi Padraic," he said, for some odd reason he loved this place, and this
man. It was a tiny little deli and candy store, about two blocks from his
aunts home.
"It's actually not that cold out for November."
"Oh really? And last I heard the English let Ireland be a free state."
Padraic Kinnell was from Dublin and had a thick Irish accent. Sometimes
Fox would come down here just to hear his stories. One of his favorites was
how Padraic got his name. Padraic had everything it took to be the perfect
grandpa.
Fox craved knowledge, any knowledge, it deadened the still lingering pain
of his sister's absence. He had found in his new school, he was always in
the library. If he had cared enought o listen to what others thought of
him, they probably would be calling him a geek.
"So, Fox, what brings you down tonight laddy?"
"My aunt has to work, so I came for some food." Fox moved and sat at a
small table across from the deli Padraic was behind.
"Eh laddy, why don't you come back here? I'll let you make your own
sandwich, once you wash your paws."
Fox beamed, and walked around the counter.
While most 13 year old boys were out with friends, or starting to date, Fox
Mulder preferred to be here alone with Padraic.
They hardly ever talked though about anything except the neighborhood,
sports, school, or Ireland however.
Padraic only knew Allegra, or Miss Sinclair as he called her, by
reputation. He knew nothing about why Fox lived with his aunt.
As Fox made his sandwich, Padraic watched him.
He didn't know what it was about this boy that made him enjoy his company
so much.
A lot of people came in here everyday, and he knew them all.
Fox Mulder made him feel young again, while still leaving him feel
respected as his elder. "You know what would go well with that sandwich
your gumming for?"
"What does gumming mean?" Fox asked.
"Oh, gumming my boy, is when you want something. In Ireland it is mostly
commonly said as 'I'm gumming for a beer.'" Padraic said getting some
pickles out and putting them on his plate.
"Well, then I am gumming for some pickles," then he looked down at his
plate. "Looks like you already knew that though," Fox joked.
"All set laddy?" Padraic asked pulling out a chair and sitting down.
"Yea." Fox said before taking the first bite of his giant sandwich.
Padraic had for some time been wondering more about this boy, he never
revealved any personal information.
"So, how has it been since you first walked in that there door over
yonder?"
"Snize abot July." Fox said with his mouth full.
"My pappy's birthday is November 27th. He's a thinking maybe he'll come
over for a visit to see me. Me mum died several years ago, da's alone in
Ireland. If he comes over, I'll introduce you, he's a better story teller
than I."
Fox wiped his mouth. He shivered at the mention of that day. On November
27th, it would be a year. One year since his sister disappeared.
"Did he fight at the post office in 1916?" Fox asked, maybe if he asked a
question he would tell the story again.
"Yea, laddy he did. That's how I got me name. You remember the story, or
should I tell it again?" Padraic asked Fox slightly teasing him.
"Again please," Fox said sipping the glass of milk in front of him. His
eyes sparkled with the antisipation that he was going to get new knowledge.
"Okay, as a young boy in 1895, my grandfather, my father's father joined
the Gaelic League. A group of people who wanted to encourage the use of
speaking their native language, promote ancient Irish sports and ancient
dances. It was a time of revolution, not revolt. The message was 'England
is no longer to be imitated.' My father would be taken to the meeting halls
and sit on the knees of it's members.
Then the troubles started again. Well, me pappy signed up with the I.R.A,
being a young man now. He was pleased to find out one of the men he had
set on the lap of as a child, was now his commander, Padraic Pearse.
Padraic was a one time poet, and long time member of the Gaelic League.
Well, to make a long story short, Pearse was one of the 13 martyrs to be
shot by the British, once they had to surrender the post office in 1916.
Later that year, my dad met me mum, they got married and had me."
"Wow," Fox said pushing his plate aside. "I wish I knew a story like that
about my family," he said rather quietly.
Padraic had just what he was seeking, the back door into this boy's soul.
"Come on Laddy, I'm sure you've got lots of stories. Why don't you tell
one to your old friend." Padraic said getting up and taking his plate to
the garbage a few feet away.
"No. I don't know," all of a sudden he felt scared, threaten, embarrassed.
"I should probably go home, I, have homework and stuff to do," Fox said
walking around the counter.
"Fox, wait, your not getting off that easy," Padraic said.
"I'm leaving, I don't want to talk about it," Fox said closing the
distance between him Padraic.
"Fox, what I mean is you didn't pay laddy!" Padraic replied with a chuckle.
He stepped back from the door and smiled. "OOPS," was all said.
"You come back soon now okay?" Padracic said as he handed him his change.
"Okay, thank you, see you later," Fox said in one breath.
The door shut, and Padraic shook his head, he hadn't meant to hurt the boy.
Fox's eyes itched so he rubbed them, and was astonished to find he was
crying.
He couldn't help it, he didn't want to talk about his family. He could talk
about anybody else's family. However, not his.
Well, not what was his family before his sister disappeared. It was
November 14th. Only 12 days till the year anniversary. Fox shivered again,
which reminded him it was colder than he thought it was, Padraic was right
about the weather.
All of a sudden he started to run, really run. He pushed himself, faster,
faster, faster. When he reached the staircase about 20 feet before his
aunt's house he collapsed.
The tears that had been running down his face, broke into sobs. Then the
street lights flicked on above him. The world was dark now, except for the
tiny specs of light, each a home. Fox sat there for a minute. He took a
deep breath, and pulled himself together.
Walking up the stairs he stopped at the landing to catch his breath again.
He was bent over, and then he turned his head. The view was different from
here. 'It's so beautiful' he muttered to himself. Standing here made
everything fade away, and all he could see were the house's lights. They
twinkled like stars. He missed seeing stars, here in the city, he never
saw stars. When he had lived on the cape, he saw them every night. Not
including the stars his father made him when he had beat him. Fox took in
a deep breath. The air was cold, but invigorating. In this spot he felt
calm. The world just seemed to wash over him, like a relaxing ocean wave.
A car drove up the rode below him, but he barely noticed. He leaned his
elbows onto the ledge and continued to stare back into the face of night.
This was his spot.
When he finally came 'home' that word still sounded weird on his tongue it
was about 8:30 p.m. A man and a woman were sitting at the kitchen table
loudly discussing how this man had been no good. Fox didn't see his aunt
anywhere in sight.
"Sam, was a repulsive human being," he heard come out of the blonde haired
woman sitting at the table drinking coffee and playing cards.
Fox stood in the door way for a minute. They couldn't be discussing his
Sam, his aunt had never met her, so this people sure the hell hadn't.
At that moment he saw his aunt come into view with a pot of coffee and
refill the woman's cup.
His aunt was a beautiful woman, almost as pretty as his mother. His mother
was gorgeous, even now she was only 32 years old, but she looked in her
twenties. Allegra, looked young, but she also looked professional, and
responsible. Two things his mother lacked. Even so he missed his mother.
Nobody could replace the fact, that his mother didn't care about him. Some
times he got annoyed at the way Allegra tried to.
He wasn't sure about Allegra yet. He didn't hate her at all. She was a
very nice woman to him. She saved him. However, he thought, "Maybe I
didn't deserve to be saved." They would go to eat out at her favorite
restaurant J.J's dinner every Tuesday. She seemed so distant though, he
wished she would open up to him more. His parents had never liked her.
When his uncle Samuel had died, his father had blamed Sam's wife, Allegra.
Fox only had few memories with her before, she was eliminated out of the
picture, he had only been 4 years old then.
However, he was one to talk about his feelings. Tonight he couldn't even
open up a tiny bit to Padracic. A man he loved, a perfect father figure.
Sadly enough he missed his father. Okay, maybe not his father, but the
idea of his father.
Maybe that was their problem, he and Allegra were too alike. Fox was deep
into thought when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Hello Fox," she said to her nephew. He had actually taken back his
request to call him by his last name after a couple of weeks. She was very
happy to hear him ask her to do that when it happened, it was their first
bond.
"Oh Hi, I was just down getting food, and I lost track of the time, and
..." he rambled on expecting to be in trouble.
"No problem. Why don't you come in an met my friends, Ben and Renee
Estlin,"
"No Problem, it was that easy for her to move on," thought Fox in
amazement.
He followed her in to the kitchen as she had asked. At that moment he would
have jumped through fire for his aunt, there 2nd bond so far was loyalty.
"Well maybe we have more in common then I thought," Fox remembered.
"Ben, Renee, this is my nephew Fox," she said to them.
Allegra was happier than Fox had ever seen her, with these two friends.
"Hello Fox," they each said warmly to him.
Allegra ushered him over to the only empty seat at the old wooden table. It
was directly across from Ben. And he could see Renee had a trump in her
card hand.
"Hello," he returned feeling a little nervous.
"I went to high school with this two nut cases Fox, they live in Chicago
now, but are considering moving out here on a regular basis to be near me.
Aren't you guys?" Allegra said pulling out a teal box, and sitting it on
the table.
"Don't listen to her Fox," Ben joked. Fox looked him over, he was
handsome but his mustache was so long it almost connected with his
sideburns.
Renee, took a pony tail holder out of her pocket and tied back her long
blonde hair.
"Actually Fox, were just out here for a quick visit. Maybe you should try
to talk your aunt into moving to Chicago," she laughed reaching her hand
into the teal box.
"Hmm turtles. I love turtles and Allegra knows it!" Renee continued.
Fox just sat there quietly, he didn't know what to say really.
"So, Fox how old are you?" Ben asked reaching for a turtle himself after
Renee wouldn't give him a bite of hers.
"I turned 13 on October 13 sir," Fox said looking at his aunt for approval
to take a turtle.
"I'm trying to remember was that a Friday?" Ben joked, a little taken back
with how polite the child was. He and Renee were starting to think about a
family of their own.
"It was sir," Fox said. Then his aunt handed him a turtle.
"How spooky! Did you get everything you wanted for your birthday?" Ben
continued paying attention not only to him, but to Renee his wife. Her
mouth was completely covered in caramel. He often wondered how she
naturally stayed so thin when she was always eating caramel, she loved
caramel.
"Yes, I got what was physically possible." Fox said getting up. "I have
homework, nice to met you," and he retreated off into his room.
Allegra sighed, she knew what he was referring to. She couldn't give him
back his sister, or his childhood for that matter. His scars went deep.
Their talk quickly shifted back to chit chat, as Renee took yet another
turtle.
"I swear Renee, I should give you my new bakery/hotel, Suite Cake, that's
the only way you won't go into debt with the turtle makers!"
Ben laughed so hard he nearly choked.
Fox went into his room and shut the door.
He did have homework to do, but he was only using it as an excuse.
His psychology book stared at him. He was really enjoying that course. The
material was basic yes, but fascinating. He was already read 2 chapters
ahead. The reason he found himself in the library was usually directed
back to that class. He hardly ever had homework, he was just doing
research of his own. In his research he had already looked up B.F.
Skinner, Carl Jung, and of coarse Sigmund Freud, he was fascinated by them
all. He had found that if understood himself better, maybe he could figure
out his parents as well.
Allegra started to pick up the table, but gave up. It was just after 1
am.
She yawned, Ben and Renee decided to crash in the spare room. Well, the
room that last year had been her study. Now, what was once her spare room
was Fox's room.
She smiled, sometimes she wanted to just leave work in the middle of the
day<I do own the company you know>, and drive over to his school and take
him out. Then they could spend the day together. She hardly knew him, and
they had lived under the same roof almost 6 months. A lot had changed in a
year. Actually a lot had changed nearly 10 years ago. "10 years," she
thought, "Wow, Sam will have been dead 10 years in 1975."
Allegra shuttered at the memory of that day. The feeling she had when she
thought he was dead. The idea of him dead was terrible beautiful even to
this day. Even still she dreamed of him returning, of him hurting her
again.
She patted down the wood floor to Fox's room. Quietly she opened the door
to his room to make sure he wasn't still awake. Sometimes she would find
his bed empty in the morning, and he would be on the couch.
Tonight, though he was in bed. She walked right up to the side of his bed
and just took a good hard look at this young man.
His head was curled below one pillow, and the pillow that had been standing
behind it was now hovering just over his head. He clutched the blanket to
his chin, and his lower body was squashed into a ball, even though this was
a queen sized bed.
The way he lay on the bed, it was as if he had left room for someone to
join him.
Allegra turned off his bed side light, and then the light from the next
room gave her an idea.
"He's waiting for his sister, to think the coast is clear, and come join
him." She thought in her head. She could imagine such a scene with him.
Allegra walked to the doorway and stopped to look back for a second.
She wished she had known her niece, Samantha. The name repulsed her, she
was her ex-husband's name sake. However, that was unfair to the child.
She was only that, a child.
She knew how much she meant to her older brother. Allegra remembered Fox
when he was a baby and little boy. He was so smart. She and Sam came for
a visit just after his 2 birthday. Actually, Sam came to see his older
brother and have their traditional drinking contest.
Fox was standing on the kitchen floor barefoot in only overalls. He was
cute then, and he is cute now, she giggled.
Allegra entered her own bedroom, and lay down still absorbed in her early
memories of her nephew. Fox was eating a sucker, okay he was actually
attacking a sucker and his face and hands were all sticky. His mother
would say to him, "Fox, go into the bathroom in the closet on the bottom
shelf and get a washcloth." Within 30 seconds he would be back with the
washcloth.
Alice would wet it and give it back to him. "Wipe your face, and put it
back."
Fox would wipe it on his face and then his hands.
"Bak wre momma? Heere or bathzrom?" He would ask her setting it on the
table.
"Bathroom." Alice would say, and he would set off to do it.
Allegra lost all contact with her nephew, once her husband died, Fox was
only 4 years old then. Bill Mulder wanted nothing to do with her, and that
was fine. So, when his daughter was born, Allegra never met her. She sent
a card though. It was probably never opened though she speculated.
Allegra closed her eyes and sighed. She looked at the clock. 1:23 a.m.
"Gesh I have to be up at 7 am with Fox." she thought. It was not fun to be
a single parent, she giggled, well that's what I am, she reminded herself.
At 7 am, she awoke Fox. She gave him lunch money, had him eat something,
made sure he cleaned himself up, reminded him not to forget his books. Then
she gave him money for the subway.
He left the house at 7:55 am. His school started at 8:30. Fox loved his
morning subway rides. He was coasting high above the city, watching it
awake for a new day. It was interesting to study people's behavior and
reaction to the day. Each morning he would casually observe the people,
who got on and off. He enjoyed making first impressions and then seeing if
he was right. This morning he saw a man in a suit from behind, with a
black umbrella. His first thought was, "Funeral." Fox didn't know why he
had thought that, but was very interested to know if he was right.
The man didn't have a brief case, but he could still just a business man.
When the man got on, he immediately started asking questions to the woman
next to him. The only other person on the subway at the moment. "Excuse
me, does Belmont run through Mercury, or does Gates?"
The woman looked up from her newspaper, slightly annoyed.
"Gates does, but the only thing there is a cemetery."
Fox's mouth fell open, but he quickly closed it. He didn't want the other
passengers to know what he was thinking about.
"Thanks, I am attending a funeral there this morning."
The woman looked up from her paper and nodded, willing him to stop
speaking.
The first thing Fox wanted to do when he got to school was get some more
books on psychology. He was fascinated to a new extent with it, perhaps it
not only his way to understand the world, but himself.
3 hours later, and extremely bored student named Fox Mulder was sitting in
math class. The male teacher was quote un quote,"teaching" two female
students at his desk. Well, he was teaching at least one student. He was
teaching Fox he was a pervert. Mr. Goatzing would accidentally hit the
student's pencil off his desk. One student would reach down to pick it up,
the low cut shirt she wore gave him a nice view for a few seconds. Fox
could swear he saw Goatzing drool. Just than Clarissa Ceannt, a student
messenger entered with a note. He knew this girl vaguely from his
psychology class.
"Please let it be for me, please, oh please," Fox thought in his head over
and over.
She walked toward him, but stopped at Sylvia Glenn's desk, two away from
him.
"Damn," he muttered very quietly.
Clarissa whispered something into Sylvia's ear, they laughed, and Slyvia
nodded.
Then before Fox realized it, she was handing him a note.
He took it, and for the first time noticed how gorgeous she was. Okay, she
didn't have a big bust line, or a 'perfect' figure as the stereotype went.
She was thin though, and her jeans fit her well. He only hoped Goatzing was
still concentrating on the two girls at his desk, because Clarissa had a
beautifully cut jade v-neck sweater on. Her short brown hair was curly at
the ends and it was carefully tucked behind her ears. She had blue eyes,
and a wore a funny necklace with strange writing on it. By the time she
made her way to the door, he had almost worked up the courage to ask her
what the necklace said. He made a mental note of it to find her one day
and ask her. Fox didn't know a lot of students, and that was okay with him.
There were thousands of students in his school, it was easy to blend in
thankfully. However, Clarissa seemed different. She was a head turner, yet
didn't seem to be popular.
Fox pulled himself together, and unfolded the note. Another note fell out.
To: Fox Mulder
hi. You must be new here , what do you think of the big apple?
I have lived here my whole life, if you get lost I can help you.
We are in psychology together right? I love that class, do you?
Do you want to go to a movie or something with me?
Or we could just go to the library. I love the library too.
I see you in there a lot. What do you like to read?
You tell me your favorites, I'll tell you mine.
Clarissa Ceannt.
He cleared his throat, a little louder than he had expected to. The note
had really taken him off his guard, it made him that happy.
"Do you need to go to the office or something?" Mr. Goatzing asked him, a
little annoyed with the interruption.
Fox caught himself quickly, "Yes, sir."
"Okay, go," Goatzing said without even asking to see the note.
He was glad, in his nervous state he would probably hand him the wrong
note.
"Yek!" he thought at the embarrassment that would cause him.
Once in the hallway he put her note in his pocket. Patting the spot with
his hand. Maybe he would see Clarissa in the office. The end of class
bell rang, and for a second it sounded like a wedding bell.
He was a little scared about his feelings for her. But, then again it did
make him feel alive again. He didn't know which voice in his head to
trust.
Remembering why he had left Goatzing's class, he opened the real note from
the office.
Fox Mulder---your aunt Allegra will be picking you up at 11:10 a.m.
Please sign out in the office and wait for her there.
Thanks.
Fox's face went into a frown, he just assumed something bad had happened.
"Maybe something happened to mom and dad?" He thought, then he bit his lip.
His next thought was a tad to dreadful. "Maybe they found Samantha."
He went to his locker, and got his books.
When he opened the door to the office he was surprised to see Allegra
already there.
Clarissa was no where in site as well. Even if she was here, he wouldn't
dream of doing anything in front of his aunt.
"Am I that slow?" He asked her.
Allegra smiled, she finally had the courage to do it, spend some real time
with him.
After he signed out, they left.
Fox waited till they were in the car before he dared ask her what was
happening.
"Is it my sister?" He asked in a small voice.
"What? No, nothings wrong Fox. I'm sorry I worried you. I just thought,
well, maybe we could spend some quality time together," Allegra said
pretending like she was concentrating on pulling out onto the highway.
Mentally she was giving herself a fine beating, "Of coarse he would think
something's wrong! Stupid! Stupid!"
"Okay. Any time away from school is quality time for me," Fox said putting
his seat belt on. He let out a sigh he hadn't even known he was holding.
"Ah Fox, why don't you like school?" Allegra asked in a sarcastic fashion.
"Well, I don't hate the idea of learning. I love to learn. I just don't
like the way the system is set up. My teachers are way to rigid and set in
their ways, for better or for worse."
Allegra laughed, she remembered her own high school education. She had
graduated from this very same school. He was right, for better or for
worse, the teachers couldn't change, or wouldn't change.
"Okay, we can go to Broadway, China Town, Times Square, you name it,"
Allegra offered. She drove like a professional in this town. He was
impressed, this small woman could maneuver the car at such high speeds up
and round other cars.
"China Town sounds the most interesting," Fox said to her, "And probably
the most educational as well."
"China Town here we come!" Allegra replied to her nephew, speeding up and
passing the car in front of them. The force of it slammed Fox back into
his seat. As it did he let out a "Wee."
The streets were narrow and the people walking in them didn't help any.
Allegra pulled the car over. Fox looked out the window in awe.
Everywhere he looked there was something extraordinary happening.
Allegra had to fight back the urge to hold his hand when they crossed the
dangerous intersection. "He's 13 years old, he doesn't need anyone to hold
his hand."
Sometimes though everybody wants it, even if they don't admit it.
Fox realized now that the necklace Clarissa was wearing looked like one of
the characters he kept seeing in window shops.
There were so many window shops. Filled to the brim with kites, and
jewelry, incense and fireworks.
The air was filled with spices. He sniffed in the feeling again, and again.
"Hungry?" Allegra asked him as he continued to take in the smells buzzing
around him.
"It smells like food fit for a king, I've never had Chinese," Fox said now
they only had to decided which of the many restaurants to go in.
"You mean fit for an emperor right?" Allegra said teasing him.
"Oh yeah, "Fox replied blushing at the obvious mistake.
25 minutes later they had finally decided on a restaurant.
A elderly Chinese woman ushered them to a table. Fox was surprised how
beautiful she was despite her age. In broken English she told me someone
would be with them shortly.
"So, what classes are you going to sadly miss today?" Allegra asked her
nephew who was still looking around.
A few seconds went by, and he still hadn't answered.
"Fox," she asked quietly.
"Oh, Allegra I'm sorry, I was looking at the characters on the wall. I saw
one early today, and well I was trying to match it and.."
"Fox, it's okay you don't need to explain."
"I'm sorry." he said shifting in his seat.
"Take it back."
"What?"
"Take back the 'I'm sorry', were here to have fun," Allegra said in a stern
voice. Bill Mulder had done a number on his son's psyche.
"Okay, I'm sorry I said I'm sorry," Fox said with a smile.
"That's better," Allegra returned, she treasured his humor. Okay, like I
was saying what fun and exiting classes are you missing today?"
"Well, Gym, Science, and English," Fox said stopping as the waitress
approached them.
"Hello, my name is Qing Luan. What can I get you?"
Fox was surprised at her English, it was perfect, even though she had an
obvious accent.
"I'll have tea please, and beef tips and noodles," Allegra said.
"I'll have tea too please, and chicken stir fry," Fox said, his mind was
still hovering over her name. It was harmonious.
"Can I ask you a question?" He asked hesitantly.
"Of coarse young man."
"What does your name mean?"
Qing was taken back, she had never been asked that in the restaurant
before. She was completely flattered.
"Blue Graceful Willow, in Chinese."
He didn't say anything after that, he was too amazed.
"Amazing isn't it?" Allegra asked him.
"What a name. How poetic. I bet there is some special meaning behind it,
and in her society her name has purpose," Fox said to his aunt.
"So true Fox, now a days, very little is thought about our souls, and more
about our names."
Allegra remembered learning about her name for the first time. Her finger
moved quickly across the names, "Alix, Alliya, Aliza, ah Allegra. Allegra,
or Alegria, Allegria, from Latin, 'cheerful'." She was doing her best now,
to make sure she was just that.
Ah her poor nephew though, Fox? What were his parents thinking? Actually
she didn't want to know. She knew them, that was enough.
"So Fox, " she said trying to change the subject. "What book were you
reading for English again?"
Her comment snapped him back to earth. He had been thinking about
Clarissa, the blue in her sweater, and her graceful walk.
"Um, Catcher in the Rye. It's outstanding, some kids don't like it, but I
worship it."
"I have never read it, what is it about?"
"Well," Fox started, he felt like telling her it was his life story, but
refrained.
"It's about this boy named Holden Caulfield. He's a strange boy. He's
about to be expelled from his boarding school. Holden is bitter about the
world. Everything seems to gang up on him. His little sister is the only
one..." Fox stopped talking at that thought.
Allegra saw it coming as he started to talk, Fox related with the character
in the story, more than most people, because he had lead a similar life.
She changed the subject, a little.
"What happens to Holden?"
Fox looked at the tablecloth. Then the wall. Then the booth. He couldn't
look at her, even though he wanted too.
"He realizes he can't get beyond the death of his brother, 2 years ago.
Holden was never given help after the death. Everyone just expected him to
push on."
"Why is it called 'The Catcher in the Rye?" Allegra asked him. She saw she
was hinting a sensitive nerve with him, but continued anyway, she wanted to
know him.
"That is the best part. Holden's talking with his sister, whose 8." Fox
swallowed, he had to get this out, he had to share it. Most importantly he
wanted to share it with Allegra.
"His sister asks him what he is going to do when he grows up, and he tells
her,
'Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this
big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around -
nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy
cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where
they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all
I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's
crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.'
"
They sat in silence for a minute or too. Finally Allegra broke it.
"You memorized all that?"
"I guess I did," Fox stuttered out.
"I think I would like to read that book, if it is this important to you."
Fox was about to say how she didn't have to, even though he was almost
shaking with excitement over the offer. Just then their food arrived.
Qing held a special smile on her lips now. She handed them their food and
left again.
Allegra saw how Qing was looking at Fox and laughed. "Oh the women he will
touch and not even now it."
Fox quickly picked up the chopsticks and dug in. All this talking had made
him hungry. Or so he told himself.
Allegra though wasn't so lucky. She was having a hard time mastering the
chopsticks. It seemed every time she got it to her mouth, the food would
fall.
Fox tried not to laugh, to him it seemed so easy.
After about 10 minutes, she said to him, "You have my permission to laugh,"
They both laughed so hard the whole restaurant could hear them.
When they had more or less finished with their main course, Qing brought
them their bill and a fortune cookie for each of them. Fox looked around
the room, no one else had gotten fortune cookies free of charge. Allegra
noticed that as well.
He broke his open and read it. On top it said, "You will go places in
life, good things will come to you if you wait." Below that, it said, what
he guessed was the same thing in Chinese. He turned it over, and it was
signed. Thanks, Qing Lian.
Allegra's said, "Events beyond your control will cause you to start life
over again."
"This has been a great day," they both started to say then broke into
giggles again.
They walked the streets for a long time, going in and out of various shops.
Allegra had already bought several things for herself, such as perfume and
incense. She had also bought him luminescent stars to hang on his ceiling.
Allegra had known from the moment he saw them, he had to have them. She
had also known way. He was homesick.
As awful as home was, it was still that. He had no chose in the matter, he
missed it. She remembered the house from years ago. Her favorite memory
being how the stars shined so bright at night. That was probably one of
his favorite memories as well.
In one shop, Fox was so smitten with a small jade rock carefully carved and
made smooth to the touch. "How much is that?" Allegra asked the shop
keeper.
He replied it was $27.
"What does that say?" Fox asked the man, who looked up again from his
newspaper in Chinese.
"Truth."
Allegra looked at Fox.
Without another word she handed the man the money, and gave the package to
Fox.
He was so shocked, he almost couldn't talk. "Thank you," she heard him
whisper.
"Your welcome," Allegra said firmly.
When they exited the store, it was getting late and most of the shops were
closing.
Therefore they set off to go home. This time, that word didn't sound so
bad in Fox's head. Allegra too was thinking along similar lines. The
reason she worked all the time, was she didn't like living alone. Well,
that problem was solved now. She vowed to put aside her demons, and open
up to him.
As Allegra drove the car into the drive way, Fox saw a girl approaching the
house. Okay, not just a girl, Clarissa Ceannt. He fingered the rock he had
in his pocket and let out a gulp. Allegra pretended not to notice, but
actually she found it very endearing. He could seem like a small child one
minute, a intelligent thoughtful adult, and shy teenager within a space of
a couple minutes. As he started to get out, he noticed she hadn't moved.
"Fox, I'm going to the grocery store, I'll be back." With that Allegra
pulled away. Fox was both a little happy, and very nervous.
He approached Clarissa trying to seem as relaxed as possible. She was
wearing the same clothing as before, and she seemed just as nervous as he
did.
"Is that your mom?" Clarissa asked him as he approached.
"No, My aunt."
"Do you want to take a walk?"
"Sure." He moved around behind her and ended up on her left side.
"Where are you coming from?" She asked brushing back a piece of her brown
hair.
"We were in Chinatown," he paused a minute then continued. All of a sudden
he felt comfortable with her.
"What does your necklace mean?"
She curled her finger up into a follow me signal. When they reached a
streetlight, she picked it up.
"It means 'Brilliant' in Chinese. The original translation for my name
Clarissa is brilliant, in Latin," she said holding it out for him to
examine.
He picked it up very delicately as if his touch would shatter it. Maybe it
would. Maybe this was too good to be true.
Then he did something that shocked himself.
"I got this today, it means 'Truth' is Chinese," he said handing her the
rock.
She carefully took it into both of her hands.
"This is Jade right?"
"Yes, it's Jade. I got it in this little store nestled behind about six
others. My aunt was buying perfume, and incense, but all I could see was
this."
"Look," she said holding the rock next to her necklace. "There both Jade."
"So they are," he said putting his eye right up next to her necklace.
She had not anticipated this move, and she moved her arm up to straighten
her hair being blown by the wind.
This movement caused him to lose his balanced and fall right into her
chest, right on her breasts.
Luckily, he caught himself before they both fell.
"I'm sorry, Clarissa," he said stepping away from her.
"No problem," she hopped her face didn't reveal how excited that made her
feel.
She noticed his rock and fallen to the ground in the commotion and reached
down to pick it up.
He accepted it back, and in the exchange their hands lingered together.
Fox couldn't believe this was happening. In a effort to divert his brain
away from this he started to talk.
"So, do you have brothers and sisters?"
"No, I am an only child. What about you, do you have any siblings?"
"That is the question," he hadn't meant to say that. GOD! He hadn't meant
to say that, but that is how he felt. Somehow, she had managed to cut
through his defenses.
"Is that a no?" Clarissa asked with a puzzled grin.
His lip drew in his lip and he bit down on it hard.
"I have a sister, Samantha, but she's been missing for all most a year," he
said evenly trying to remain neutral in the subject even though it burned
like fire. He hated fire. Was scared to death of it. At that moment
thought it gave him something else to be afraid of.
"Oh, I'm sorry Fox, is that why you live with your aunt? Did you parents
die? No, I'm sorry I shouldn't ask that, I should know not to ask that,"
she walked away hitting the palm of her hand against her forehead. He stood
their for a minute, watching her walk away. It wasn't the first time
anyone had walked away from him. He thought about going after her. Then
he saw two lights parallel to each other coming straight at her. She didn't
see them.
"Clarissa! Clarissa!" he screamed in vain.
The car was getting closer, he ran, he ran his heart out.
The car beeped it's horn and skidded to a hault about a foot in front of
her. She jumped about five feet in the air, when she heard the noise.
She had been so deep into thought, she hadn't seen it coming.
He tugged her out of the way. The car had already stopped, she was out of
danger, but he did it anyway.
She had tears new and old streaming down her face. As much as she seemed
like a girl who knew what she wanted, she cracked very easily.
He took her hand and lead her to a bench he saw a few steps away.
"I'm sorry," she muttered pulling herself together.
"It's okay," he replied not knowing really what to do. He had never been
the person giving comfort before. However, he usually wasn't the one
receiving comfort either.
"Your crying," she said.
He felt his face, and he was indeed. He sat down on the space next to her.
His heart was still pumping, the adrenaline pulsating through his veins.
"Look whose talking," he replied back to her.
"When you mentioned your sister, I realized we had something else in
common," she started looking at his face. It was white, but not ghostly
white, still in the moon light he looked tortured.
"Which is what?" he said with a defensive edge.
She touched the necklace. "My father died a little over a year ago. On
August 2, actually. He gave me this for my last birthday. I was 12 and 7
months when he died," Fox rubbed his eyes again. His whole area around his
heart burned. He just wanted to scream and scream, maybe then it wouldn't
hurt so much. Instead he only said,
"I'm sorry Clarissa, so sorry." Fox was suprised to learn he felt better
after having said that to her.
"I miss him, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I think I
hear him. I expect to see him even now. This would be the perfect time
for him to show up, he always knew how to make an entrance," Clarissa wiped
her eyes, and reached into her coat, pulling out a handkerchief.
"What about your sister?"
Despite how much this hurt, it also felt good. He had never talked to
anyone about his sister. It was his little rule with himself. He didn't
trust anyone. He wouldn't tell anyone. For the first time he was going to
unburden himself.
"I see her a lot, I mean I think I see her that is. She had just turned 8
years old, 6 days after she disappeared, I was suppose to be watching her,
I was," he put his head in his hands. The sobs came and he wanted so
desperately to stop them.
"I'm sorry Fox," she said reaching for his hand. Surprisingly enough he
offered it.
With his other hand he wiped his nose and tried in vain to stop sniffling.
Clarissa was doing the same, so after a few minutes he didn't mind as much.
The idea that she was in pain just as he was comforting to him. That was
he supposed the reason he had allowed himself the luxury of opening up to
her.
"I live with my mom, she's great. It's just the two of us now. I am the
only evidence my father existed now," Clarissa said in a hallow but even
voice.
"My sister was great, it was always just the two of us. We would play on
the beach all day, then go home to our family cook. Occasionally we would
see our mom, and if we were lucky, dad wouldn't come home," Fox said he was
telling her a great deal more than he had planned, but he didn't mind. He
needed to tell someone. Ever since last night when he knew that was what
Padracic was getting at, he had wanted to tell someone.
"The beach? There aren't any beaches that kids can be left on in NY,"
Clarissa said with a sparkle of humor.
"Cape Cod, I grew up on Martha's Vineyard," he said. She couldn't tell
whether he was laughing or crying. And she didn't care, both were
beautiful, both freed your soul and lifted your spirit when the dust
settles.
"I was an only child. My father was like a sibling to me I guess. A big,
inteligent one that could fix anything. We spent so many hours together,"
Clarissa stopped for a second.
"He was hit by a car." He asked me to go with him that night, but..."
She could still hear his voice asking her to go with him.
"Clarissa, hey brilliant one," he said coming up behind her and kissing the
top of her head.
"Hi, daddy!" she said wrapping her arms around his waist.
"Mommy's going to be late, why don't we take a walk to the grocery shop
down the street?"
"Dad, I don't like that little grocery shop. Why don't we just wait for mom
to get home and take the car to the on 31st?"
"Because, we want to have dinner ready when she comes home,"
"Okay, I'll help you cook, but I don't want to go to that place. It gives
me the creeps dad,"
Clarissa said tightning her hold on him to give him a bear hug.
"Honey, you know I wouldn't ever let anything happen to you,"
"Clarissa?" a shaky voice asked her.
She turned her head to see the face of Fox Mulder.
"Sorry....I was.... I was thinking about my dad," she turned her head back
and bit her lip.
Fox only nodded, he understood.
"Tell me more about your family?" Clarissa sat snapping herself out of her
reverie
"Not much to tell," Fox said to her leaning back on the bench.
"Of coarse there is or you wouldn't have moved. If you don't want to talk
about it, I will respect that. But, well, you seem like you haven't talked
to anyone about this. When my father died, it wasn't easy, but I made
myself talk. I believe that if I hadn't I would have shattered into a
million and one pieces," Clarissa said, noticing they were still holding
hands.
"Oh but jig saw puzzles are my favorites," he said sarcastically.
A hint of a smile formed on her face.
"Why do you live with your aunt?"
His feet moved against the cement sidewalk in circles.
Just as Clarissa was going to ask him again he spoke, it was almost so
quite she couldn't hear him.
"My dad hit me. My mom didn't care."
She took advantage of the fact that they were still holding hands, and
squeezed tightly.
They both took in a breath and sighed at the same time. This made them
laugh, hysterically, they laughed so hard they cried, again.
Fox heard the subway roar in the distance.
"I want to show you something, Fox, I want to show you my spot. My
favorite spot on the earth." Clarissa said standing up herself then
reaching to pull him up.
He followed her eagerly. Everybody needs their own spot. He could show her,
his spot someday.
She walked under the bridge supporting the subway that ran over their
heads.
"What are we doing? When the subway goes over, it is going to be really
loud," Fox said.
"What?" Clarissa replied jokingly pretending she couldn't hear him.
"I said," she stopped him there though.
"Just kidding."
Fox saw the two headlights of the subway and stepped in front of her. He
did so because he was thinking back to the car that had almost hit her
earlier.
"Here it comes, watch this," she said.
It rumbled above them, shaking the ground. She moved to the corner and
just as it was above her let out a piercing scream that faded with the
rumbling of the tracks.
As it moved further and further away, she stepped out of her corner towards
him.
"I feel so much better, wanna try my patented scream therapy?"
"What the hell," he shrugged.
As the next subway approached they both screamed their lungs out. Letting
the fear, anxiety, sorrow, pain, and apprehension tear through their bodies
with one vibration.
He saw the full moon, and chuckled, "Are you turning into a werewolf?"
"Why do you want me to?"
"No, I like you the way you are."
This was only the start of their friendship.
The days past by quickly now, even though Fox wished they could last
forever.
He and Clarissa did almost everything together. They were inseparable
friends.
However, the rumor going around school was that they were going out. Both
of them were shocked, can't a boy and a girl just be friends? Obviously
not. The only class they had together was psychology, but they would study
together in the library in their free hour. For the first time in a while,
Fox felt more confident, less remorseful. Clarissa seemed different as
well. It was as if she knew, they needed each other when she gave him the
note.
Fox was writing the date on his English homework when he suddenly felt
sick to his stomach. The date was November 21. One year, it had been one
year since he last saw his sister.
"Okay class, let's discuss the homework from yesterday," Mrs. Dowlinger
said.
Over a week ago when Fox had told his aunt about the book 'The Catcher in
the Rye', they had just been assigned it. He had read the first chapter,
and then couldn't put it down. He had finished the book that very same
night.
"Geoffrey Teasdale, what do you think about Holden's escape?"
"I think it was rather pointless. I mean he knew he would have to face the
world some time," the boy said.
The teacher accepted the answer and continued.
"How about you Ariel Browning, what do you think?"
"I don't agree. I think the very fact the Holden is trying to escape shows
he doesn't understand what he wants."
Mrs. Dowlinger smiled. "Very good."
She looked down at her seating chart again.
"Fox Mulder, if you were in Holden's spot, would you make such a
pilgrimage?"
He made eye contact with his teacher and was quiet for a few seconds.
"Yes, I would. Holden is confused. He thinks one thing, but believes
another. I think he does know that he is only putting off the inevitable,
but the idea of facing it is to harsh. He seeks temporary comfort in
anything he can. It is easy for us, the reader to say, he should only push
on. Holden takes refuge in the one thing he is sure of anymore, his little
sister. In the end, the child knows what is best with him, when the adult
world just pushed him aside and wanted him to grow up."
The teacher looked around the room and cleared her throat. She felt a
little taken aback.
This student had just summed up the entire book in a matter of seconds.
"Thank you, Fox, that is an excellent observation," she said. "Please
hand in your homework," she continued, changing the subject, only a good
teacher likes to be upstaged by a student.
The last bell of the day rang, and Fox went to his locker to pick up his
things.
He was having a hard time keeping the lump in his throat down. Today was
November 21.
Nine years old, Samantha was 9 years old today. The voice of Mrs.
Dowlinger came back into his head, "Would you take such a pilgrimage?"
All of a sudden he had a ground breaking idea, and he ran out of school,
forgetting all about the plans he had made with Clarissa. In study hall
they had agreed he should finally hang the luminescent stars he had gotten
in Chinatown today after school today.
Clarissa Ceannt had been standing by Fox Mulder's locker for 15 minutes
now.
The halls were clear, and every time she saw someone come around the corner
she thought it would be him. He would have a good excuse when he finally
arrived, she knew that much about him. She exhaled a deep breath and
decided to go home, and call him later.
Fox Mulder had raced to the subway after school. He knew his aunt was
coming home early, in order to be out before she arrived home he would have
to move fast. When his legs reached the door, and flew it open and darted
straight for his room.
Inside he grabbed all of his money, a flashlight, a notebook, and his copy
of Catcher in the Rye. Then he added a extra pair of clothes and a his
sleeping bag. He knew he would have to stay in parks to sleep, so he
brought his winter coat, gloves, and hat. Hastily walking into the kitchen
he grabbed a bottle of water and raided Allegra's secret supply of snacks.
She loved to bake in her spare time, so he took all of her bread and
cookies. Fox also grabbed a bag of dried fruit, and one of sunflower seeds.
He was out the door within 20 minutes of his arrival.
Allegra Sinclair entered her home expecting to cook a lavish early dinner
tonight and chat with her nephew. Lately she had kept up her end of the
bargain, and opened up to him more. He, too had been showing extra signs
of willingness to talk. As she set down her things in the living room she
was already planning her dinner.
An hour later, she had an apron on and flour everywhere. Then there was a
knock on the door. She was a little curios where Fox was, but she wasn't
worried.
Allegra brushed herself off a tad, and went to answer the door. In the
archway stood a pretty young girl, the same one she had seen a while back.
"Hello. My name is Clarissa Ceannt, is Fox home?" the girl said modestly.
"No, Clarissa he isn't. Please come in, he should be soon," Allegra said
standing back so she could enter.
Then she realized she hadn't introduced herself, and the girl probably
thought she was his mother. Well, she wouldn't mind that role, but it
wasn't the truth.
"I'm Allegra, Fox's aunt," she said sticking out her hand.
Clarissa shook it, and looked around. This was the first time she had been
into his home.
He had been to her house once last week but mostly the would talk on the
phone, or take walks.
"What are you making?" Clarissa said as she sniffed the air.
"Fresh bread, my mother's recipe. As soon as it is done, I have thin
steaks, and vegetables to cook up," she stopped then got a wicked idea she
only hoped Fox would approve of.
"Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"Sure, thank you. Fox and I are going to hang the stars on his ceiling
today. We planned it in our free time today. He told me he misses seeing
the stars in the city. I don't miss the stars, since I have always lived
anywhere but the city."
"I know he misses a lot of things from the Cape," Allegra replied not
knowing how much more to tell the girl.
"He told me he had a sister, that she disappeared last year in November,"
Clarissa said looking at the clock. It said 5:15 p.m.
Allegra stopped kneading the dough. "Samantha Ann Mulder, born November
21, 1965. Disappeared November 27, 1973." She remembered reading the case
file, when she had filed a request to be his legal guardian. Today was the
one year anniversary of her disappearance, that was why he wasn't home yet.
"Where would he go?" Allegra muttered under her breath.
"Pardon me?" Clarissa said to her with a puzzled expression.
"Dear, today is the one year anniversary of his sister's disappearance.
That is why he isn't home, where do you think he would go?"
Clarissa's consciousness ravaged her mind. Fox Mulder, where would Fox
Mulder go?
Think Clarissa, think. On the one year anniversary of daddy's death where
did you go?
She fingered her necklace. Clarissa remembered what she had done on August
2, 1974, she had stood in the spot her father died in. The spot, she could
have died in as well.
She hated that spot. Snapping back into what she was originally looking
for, she thought of him. They shared similar pains. "Home? Would he go
home?" Clarissa said in a quiet voice to the woman who seemed to be looking
at her like she would automatically know. "How would I know?" Clarissa
said to herself, "I have know him a little over a week!"
"I think your right dear, he'd go home."
Fox Mulder sat with his bus ticket in his hands that were shaking, waiting
for his number to be called. "Six days, I have six days," he thought to
himself.
He had this fluttering feeling like butterflies in his stomach. For some
reason he felt like she would be there when he got to the cottage. Samantha
would be there, waiting for him. They would hug and laugh. They would
take off their socks and shoes and run in the water. "Burr, maybe not
that," he thought, "It's November."
However, he would dig out his game of Stratigo, and ask her for a rematch.
They would play quietly, he would gentlemanly let her win. He wouldn't
take his eyes off her. She would tease him, and get mad at him for letting
him win. He could hear her voice now, "Fox, I am nine years old now! I
don't want to be babied!"
"Now boarding at gate 2, NY City to Boston," a voice said over a loud
intercom.
He picked up his book bag and headed for his destination, home.
Allegra had called all the bus stations and checked for a person named Fox
Mulder buying a ticket. It was past 11 at night by now. In the morning
she would call the police, and the local authorities, but not his parents.
"Oh god!" a horrible thought occurred to her. "How am I going to explain
this to social services?" This could be cause enough to give custody back
to his mother, who she knew was still seeing his father. That would not be
healthy, emotional and physically for Fox. Suddenly she began to weep, she
couldn't help it. She looked up and out the window and could swear she saw
someone. Allegra screamed, and broke down on the ground. After Sam, her
ex-husband had died, she had hardly ever left the house. Not because she
was afraid of others hurting her because she was a single, vulnerable
woman, but afraid he would come back. The only people who knew this were
Ben and Renee Estlin, they knew the whole story about what really happened
to Sam at Central Park. They had vowed they would take it to their graves,
before telling anyone. The wind blew branches against the windows, making a
deep banging sound, the sound of a person breaking in. The sound of Sam
braking in. Eventually, Allegra cried herself into a fitful sleep.
She hadn't guessed Fox would use a false name, Holden Caulfied to buy his
ticket, home.
Fox sat awake on the bus as it speeded along to its destination. He was
calculating a plan. There was no way he could stay in hotels, police would
notice him. Sadly enough he had realized what his disappearance was
probably doing to his aunt. In an odd way he kinda wanted to be picked up
by the police. Because, then it would prove to him his aunt cared. He
rubbed his tired eyes back and forth. The bus he was on was nearly full,
but he had managed to secure a seat in the back to himself. He looked at
his watch, 11:21 p.m. The notebook in front of him he guarded with a
protective arm. This book held all a his blueprints for his planned
scheme, his thoughts. When dawn broke tomorrow he would only have 5 days,
it would be November 22. The map he had bought at the bus station was
helping him with his plans. He had calculated that walking from Boston to
his house on the cape, would take just over 4 days. However, he would have
to walk a minimum of 18 miles a day. Fox sighed, rubbing his eyes again.
Then he saw his Catcher in the Rye book. He felt immediately drawn to it,
like a moth to a flame. Opening it up, he let the pages flap back and
forth, before stopping them when one of his favorite parts caught his eye.
"What?" I said to old Phoebe. She said something to me, but I didn't hear
her.
"You can't even think of one thing."
"Yes, I can. Yes I can."
"Well do it then."
"I like Allie," I said. "And I like doing what I am doing right now.
Sitting here with you, and talking, and thinking and stuff, and -"
"Allie's dead - You always say that! If somebody's dead and everything,
and in Heaven, then it isn't really -:
"I know he's dead! Don't you think I know that? I can still like him,
though can't I? Just because somebody' dead, you don't just stop liking
them, for God's sake - especially if they were about a thousand times nicer
than the people you know that're alive and all."
"Little sisters, " Fox muttered under his breath. "Gotta love um."
Allegra was sitting at her kitchen table early in the morning the next day
waiting for the police to arrive.
She heard a loud banging on her door and raced to answer it. In the entry
way stood Samuel Mulder, her ex-husband. Her presumed dead, ex-husband.
Okay, the man she had left for dead, nearly 10 years ago in Central Park.
"Hello there my bitch, look time no fuck!" He pushed in past her, throwing
her against the ground. She was speechless, but as traumatized as she was
watching her worst fear come true, she still noticed how grotesque he
looked in the dark. The light around him seemed to just fade away, while
the shadows consumed him.
"I bet your happy to see me alive darling aren't you?" Sam said turning
around and closing the door, canvassing the house for any other
inhabitants. "Your all I dream about Sam," Allegra said, she wasn't joking
either. Since the time she had believed him to be dead, she only had one
dream, a nightmare. She would dream that one day Sam would return. "Oh
Allegra," he said running his hand across her cheek. "That is so sweet. I'm
here now, nothing to worry about." Sam then dragged her over to a chair and
sat her down. Allegra couldn't help but shutter not just because of him,
but his hand had been cold and wet. "Darling, where do you keep the rope
in this modest home stead?" Sam said getting ready to tie her up.
She brought her hand up to her face to examine why it still was wet.
Allegra knew she was crying, but it didn't feel like tears. Tears are hot,
and salty, and they are almost sweet when they land in your mouth. She was
tasting something, cold, wet, it felt like an ice cube running down her
face. "I asked you a question." Sam said taking her by her hair and
knocking it back against the chair's headboard. She bit her lip, trying
not to think about the sudden headache consuming her thoughts. "In the
back hallway."
Sam looked at her and then looked at the door. He knew she would run if he
left her, or call the police and be back when he returned. "Come with me
Bitch, were going to the hallway." Allegra was yanked up, and then he bent
down and throw her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Sam took great
delight in feeling her breasts as he walked along. Allegra was after all
his property, he believed.
She ducked her head, avoiding the low archways, when the substance on her
face landed on her hands. There was blood everywhere. "Sam, whose blood
is this?" Allegra asked in a tone half pleading, half panicking. "That
blood belongs to the sorry bag of meat and bones outside that was once our
nephew. I brought him back to you, I taught him not to run away."
Allegra rolled over in bed, still dreaming. She tossed and turned unaware
of the soft footsteps of the person approaching her bed. The person sat
down on the edge of the bed and shook her awake. Allegra's mind jolted
open, and her body quickly followed.
She sat up in bed and starred into the confused face of Renee Estlin.
Allegra's heart was pounding, but she didn't remember why. "Are you okay?
I guess this wouldn't be a good time to ask you why you forget we were
having breakfast this morning would it?" Renee smiled getting up off the
bed and going to fix her hair in the mirror across the room Allegra was
very confused. She remembered being horrified in her dream, but she
couldn't remember the details of it. "Sorry, Renee," she whispered.
"Hey where's that cute nephew of yours?" Renee asked turning around to see
her again.
It was as if the whole world was ending and she only had a few minutes to
recall everything she ever knew. The dream came back to her. Fox's
disappearance came back to her. The ending of the dream and it's meaning
hit her again and she ran to the bathroom. However, she couldn't throw up.
She felt like she had to--but couldn't.
She slid down the wall leaning against it for support. Allegra felt like
crying, but couldn't, this pain was beyond comprehension to cry. To cry is
to realize, and push on.
"What's the matter Allegra? Is it something I said?" Renee said kneeling
down in front of her friend and offering her a hug.
"Boston, next stop," the buss driver announced to the passengers. Fox sat
up in his seat. He felt a wave of nervousness over come his body, and his
mind. For the first time since he had left he didn't know what he was
doing. In the distance he could see skyscrapers, and other buildings
eclipsing the horizons. His photographic memory did what it did best, gave
him memories. The last and only time he was in this city was the summer
before his 12th birthday. John Marsden, the father of his best friend
Michael, had taken the boys into Boston to see a Celtics vs. Knicks game.
Michael's father was sick a lot of the time, and his mother was a gossiping
housewife. He wasn't one to nit-pick about a family tree though. They
had pretty good seats, in the first balcony, and it was their treat. To
make the day ever better, his beloved Knicks won. Fox had never really
known why he loved the Knicks so much. He knew it was his father's
favorite team, but his father didn't follow sports anymore. Perhaps, he
liked that team because his father did. "Okay, that's my psychology class
talking," he thought to himself. The game was one of the last things
Michael and he did before his sister Pamela, disappeared on July 14th. He
didn't remember a lot about Pamela, she was Samantha's best friend though.
Pam and Sam, partners in crime. The look his sister had gave him when he
came home with the Knicks jersey was pure gold. Fox knew his sister didn't
really like sports, but she was able to appreciate the object as a gift.
"Wow, they must like you a lot," Samantha had told him. He wore that shirt
almost everyday. That was the shirt he was wearing when she disappeared,
and the shirt he was wearing now. Michael had always been there for him
after Samantha disappeared. Fox at first just thought he was being
considerate, later he realized they both needed to talk. However, there
was something missing when they talked about their sisters. Michael lacked
the passion Clarissa did when she talked about pain. The way Michael
refereed to it was as if it really hurt, but that he would go on. When
Clarissa spoke, Fox could fell a link between them. Michael Marsden, was
a good friend though, his best, till her.
Oddly enough he hadn't ever thought of even kissing her. She was a pretty
girl, but he didn't want to break their rapport as it was now. He felt
around in his pocket and pulled out the rock Allegra had bought him. The
bluish green jade rock glowed in the sunlight bouncing all around him.
"Truth." He couldn't help but star at that word. "What does it mean?" Fox
was wondering, "I guess I'll find out."
Ben Estlin was pacing the floor, he had a phone in one ear and his hand
over his other. He had been on the phone to the police for 15 minutes.
"Thank you," Ben said as he walked over and hung up the phone. He had
arrived at Allegra's house about 20 minutes after his wife Renee. They
were like a procession. She had told him while they were waiting at the
restaurant that morning. "I'm going to go check on Allegra. If I am not
back in a little bit, just wait longer," then she kissed his forehead and
walked off.
He had always loved her walk. Well, at least since high school when they
first met. She always denied it, but he swore she swung her hips just for
show. Ben was not one of the most patient men on the earth, so he to went
to Allegra's, only to learn her nephew was missing.
"I need to call his parents," Allegra said to her two best friends.
"No you don't, Allegra. They don't need to know," Renee said eating
another turtle, since she hadn't eaten breakfast.
"They are his parents Renee, for better or for worse. I can't change that
genetic fact, but I would feel better if they knew."
"Even if it means you could lose him? He could go back and leave with them.
Social Services will be here this afternoon Allegra. What are you going
to tell them? How are you going to keep him away from them now?" Ben said
sitting down on one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table. As he did
so, it made a loud creek. That seemed to be how everyone was feeling at
the time.
"I didn't lose him. He didn't run away from me!" Allegra said putting her
hands around her coffee cup, feeling the warmth for comfort.
"Allegra, the only reason the courts ruled for you was because of your
testimony against his mother. The courts could see this as disproff of
this. He could be sent back to his mother." Renee said trying to convince
Allegra.
"I'm calling his parents" Allegra said standing up.
"What are you going to tell them?" Ben asked her.
"The truth." she responded.
Clarissa Ceannt woke up to the smell of pancake batter in the kitchen.
She loved pancakes, they reminded her of her father. Clarissa exhaled a
loud breath, and it blew her bangs out of her face. She wondered how Fox
was doing. For the first time since her father died, she realized she was
lucky. Clarissa was not lucky her father died, but she was lucky she had
had her father, as her father. She may regret not going to the store with
him, but she was glad she didn't. The idea sounded awful, but it was the
truth. She was glad to live. Fox, was different. His trama was a sore
that not only won't heal, it kept dividing. She could see that, and she
could understand the injustice of someone you loved so, being ripped away
from you. The circumstances may be different, but pain is always the same
feeling. A low humming in your heart as painful as finger nails trailing
across a blackboard. Her mother stood in the kitchen quietly preparing the
breakfast. She wondered what it was like to be her mother. Clarissa knew
she would grow up, and go one experience things. She would get married. She
would have children. Her whole life was ahead of her. While her
childhood, and her time with her father was gone, she still had so much to
look forward to. Then she looked at her beautiful mother. She had lost
her partner, her husband. "Good morning sweetie," Shelley Ceannt said to
her daughter.
"Hi mom," Clarissa said kissing her cheek and sitting down in her pajamas
at the table.
"I found your Catcher in the Rye book Clarissa Joyce, you left it in the
living room. That's not very responsible."
Clarissa was about to say something like, "Oh mom," when an idea hit her.
She thought back to yesterday afternoon at Fox's house when she and his
aunt had called the bus stations. Clarissa remembered her disappointment
when there was no Fox Mulder registered. None the less, Allegra had called
his old home town and told them to watch the house. "Mom, I need to make a
phone call," she said almost colliding with her mother as she brought over
a warm plate of pancakes.
Clarissa didn't hear what her mother said next, her ears were buzzing with
inspiration.
She ran into her room and pulled Fox's phone number off her bulletin board.
Then she ran back to the living room to place the call.
A rough male voice answered, for a minute she was afraid she had dialed the
wrong number in her panic. "Hello, this is Clarissa Ceannt, I am a friend
of Fox's. Can I speak to Allegra please."
"One moment please," Ben Estlin said setting down the phone.
He walked into her bedroom where she was covered in papers. "Haven't you
found his parents number yet?"
"No," Allegra said with a heavy sigh.
"Must be a sign," Renee said almost smiling while picking up another
package of papers.
"Allegra, a girl who says she knows Fox is on the phone, do you want to
talk to her?"
"Clarissa?" Allegra said looking up.
"Yes, that's her name," he said looking down at his wife who was tapping
his leg.
"I'd like to talk to her," Allegra said this so quietly it was more for her
benefit.
Ben bent down to see what Renee wanted. She motioned for him to come
closer.
"I have the number right here. Throw it out or something," Renee
whispered.
"Renee!!!"
"Ben!!!!"
"I'll take it but I am not throwing it away we might need it later," he
put it in his pocket and walked back to the kitchen to see Allegra.
Fox Mulder was sitting on a park bench across the street where the bus had
let him off. He had taken out his notebook and was just writing what he
saw. The feeling was amazing, it was like meditating. All he had to do
was just watch and he would be rewarded with the most absurd scenes.
Tide dyed T-shirt on a man with a bald spot trying to find tickets to the
ballet.
Business suit on a woman who didn't have a brief case but a book bag.
Window washers loading up their equipment joking about perching on a window
of a bathroom.
He looked at his watch, it was nearly noon. Fox went over to a hot dog
vender and bought a dog. A minute later when he was done, he took out his
map.
He needed to catch a bus out of Boston, before he planned on walking the
rest of the way.
This was a conscience choice, he wanted to walk that part. He had enough
money to take a bus the whole way. However, he saw that as cheating, he
wouldn't have to work for that. He walked to the nearest bus step and
waited, he was use to that by now.
"Allegra, Hi. I think I know why his name wasn't on the list going from
NY to Boston," the slightly out of breath voice said to her.
"Slow down child. What do you think know?" Allegra said sitting down, she
felt confident Clarissa's judgment of her nephew was the best course of
action they had.
"Well, we have been reading this book in English. Fox really loves it, he
said he read it all in one night," Clarissa explained, finally having
caught her breath.
"I think we talked about that book when we were in Chinatown. The boy
trusts his sisters opinion more than his own right?" Allegra said.
"Yes, well I think he may have used the characters name from the story when
he bought his ticket. Besides the fact that he loves this book, I think
this book inspirited him to do this in the first place. I mean, the boy in
the story goes on a pilgrimage, home, to his sister," Clarissa said. She
was starting to wonder if she was just reading to far into this.
"I think you have a very strong point dear. It is worth a look no matter
what.
What was the name of that book? Um, Field catcher?
"Actually it's Catcher in the Rye. The boy misinterprets a quote from the
poet Robert Burns,
'When a body met a body comin' through the rye, as When a body catch a
body'. "
Allegra let out a short laugh, she was almost as bad as he was memorizing
everything.
"What?" Clarissa asked feeling a little embarrassed.
"Dear your just like he is quoting passages all the time," Allegra blowing
the state air out of her lungs
"Oh," Clarissa said, now she felt a different kind of embarrassment.
"What was the name of the boy in the story?" Allegra asked, she couldn't
remember.
"Holden Caulfield, I bet that's the name he used," Clarissa said with
enthusiasm in her voice.
"Dear together, we'll get him back, you just wait and see!"
For November the weather was actually very warm. The trees were in their
last stage of turning colors. Fox remembered reading a quote Henry James
had once said, "Try to be one of the people onto which nothing is lost."
The simplicity of things was something he loved. To just stop and marvel
at how amazing it was that things change.
He prepared his bag, and walked to the front of the bus. Stepping off he
knew the rest of the way was not going to be easy. 18 miles a day, was
quite a hike no matter how in shape you are. He also knew that he would
have to stay in medium sized cities along the way, so he could find parks
and sleep in his sleeping bag there. Park benches were out of the
question, they would draw to much attention. He needed to pick a concealed
spot.
"One step at a time," he muttered.
"Madam, we had a 6:45 bus that left last night from NY to Boston with a
boy named Holden Caulfied on the passengers list," the receptionists voice
said.
"Thank you," Allegra said to the young woman who she felt like kissing.
She hung up the phone. However, now she felt torn. Allegra wanted to make
sure he was safe, heaven only knows what could happen to a 13 year old boy.
A small part of her thought, that she should allow him to continue this
pilgrimage. He needed to do this, of that she was sure. The problem now
was how was she going to convince the police of this. She only hoped he
would stay safe, and make it unharmed to his childhood home.
Then that would be the perfect time for the police to find him. Her dream
from last night came crawling back into her mind, and she was terrified for
him. Fox Mulder alone, god knows where, between here and Cape Cod. She
would never forgive herself if anything happened to him. But she also
knew she could never live with herself if she didn't let him do this by
himself.
Fox walked as far as he could that day, and set up camp in a small park.
He pulled out the food he had packed from his aunts and started to munch on
it.
Then he stood up to spread his sleeping bag out. The night air was cold,
but it could be a lot worse. He prayed it wouldn't snow, or rain for that
matter. Sleepily he put away his food, and laid down fully clothed in his
winter clothes. He laid on is back, face to the sky, memorized by the
twinkles from above. They looked like somebody winking at him.
The first thing he remembered when he woke up was something running past
him.
It was a rabbit. He quickly picked up his camp, and set off for breakfast.
He hoped that nobody had seen him there today. After a modest breakfast
in a small roadside diner, he started walking. That was he did for the
next three days. Walk, eat, sleep, and most importantly -- hide.
On the morning of November 27th, 1974, Fox Mulder awoke to be greeted by a
very gray sky. The good weather he had been blessed with was finally
ending.
Fog had set in over the sleepy morning. He felt the damp, foggy sky was a
perfect description for this day. The day that one year ago, his sister
Samantha Ann Mulder had disappeared on. He couldn't remember a damn thing!
Fox had hoped maybe that on this day, it would finally come back to him.
Then maybe his parents would forgive him.
However, what if he remembered something that lead to the discovery of her
death?
"I'd get blamed for that too," he thought to himself sarcastically.
"And why not?"
Allegra hadn't given up the search for him in front of her friends, and
the police.
However, in earnest she had. She had not told the police, her discovery
about the bus list 3 days ago. Allegra was a nerves wreck just the same.
Every night since she had the dream with Sam in it. Ben and Renee thought
she was pensive over not finding a lead to him. She was really pensive
over whether she was doing to the right thing in letting him fly solo.
Allegra had promised her conscience that if the police staking out his old
house, didn't see him by today, she would send in the cavalry. She prayed
he would be there today. November 27th. The poor boy, one year ago, his
little sister who he loved so much disappeared. Her record player was done
playing Billie Holiday and it made a click. She noticeably jumped. Then
she remembered she was alone. Ben and Renee had gone to the grocery store,
for " brain food." She still hadn't called his parents, and she cared less
and less everyday. They were the problem in the first place. A lot of
families go through traumatic times. However, when the Mulder family goes
down, it doesn't just fall and stay that way. No, the Mulder family has to
be like dominoes, one thing after and other because of one isolated
incident.
Fox sat on the dock waiting for the last ferry to Martha's Vineyard today.
He was thinking of stopping at Michael Marsden's, house before he went
home.
However, if he did that, Michael would want to come with him. And more
importantly he was a little embarrassed of how he must looked by now. He
hadn't taken a bath since he left New York.
For a minute he thought of jumping into the water by the dock. But, just
for a minute.
The weather was colder, and there was a harsh breeze blowing as well. The
bathing would have to wait. As he waited, he pulled out his notebook
again.
He started to write about the last couple days in vivid detail. Someday,
that might be interesting to go back and read.
Dana Scully sat curled up in an arm chair in the living room of Allegra
Sinclair's house. In her hand was a curious little notebook she had found
in her husband's old room. She suspected it should keep her entertained
till he awoke from his nap.
His leg was getting better, but he still went to physical therapy twice a
week. Allegra had persuaded him to stay in NY, instead of flying back to
D.C. after his release from the ever hated hospital. Dana smiled,
something's never change. She had gotten him out of there early because
she was a doctor, again. Her hand felt the outside of the notebook. It
was a tan brown color. Written all over the cover were quotes from
different books, and poems.
She recognized a few. Dana expected the rest of the notebook to be just
quotes and silly little notes he may have jolted down in his childhood.
She opened up the book to the first page and creased it.
Dana looked around her, in the kitchen she heard her mother and Allegra
chatting.
They were not just chatting they were gossiping. Dana was happy, Mulder
finally had a relative to be proud of. However, she wasn't even his blood
aunt, she was his uncle's ex-wife. "Close enough," Dana muttered. She was
very tempted to get up then and go check on him.
Then she looked down at the book. The temptation won by a landslide.
Walking into the kitchen, she smiled at both woman an kept going. Allegra
and Maggie seemed to sigh and the same movement. The two 'mom's of Mulder
laughed and continued their gossip.
Carefully, Scully opened the door to their bedroom. Instantly she was
mush, and it felt great. He was tucked under the covers securely, his head
tilted towards the door.
Her footsteps sounded like an elephant walking in the quiet room. She
knelt in front of the bed, and softly touched his face. Then put her check
to his check.
He seemed to smile in his sleep. Dana Scully-Mulder picked up her heart
and reluctantly left the room, to read his notebook from when he was just a
boy.
"I don't remember the trees turning so red. Usually they turned more of a
yellowish color. Moss. Moss is everywhere. I see it on trees, on rocks,
and on the side of some buildings. As I step to the beat of my heart, I
wonder. When I wonder, just the idea of opening up, hurts. Almost as a
reflex my eyes become watery. Once I am alone, everything seems to fall
apart. I remember a tall oak tree once having grown where I am walking by.
All that is left is a stump. That is a funny word. Stump. It brings a
lump to my throat. I am only a mile away from home. I have struggled with
the connotations of that word for a long time. I wonder. I wonder why this
gloomy place, is always remembered as a happy alive place. I want to see
her. I wonder. Will I turn into a stump?"
Dana Scully stood up. The notebook fell to the ground. Within the sounds
of the house, the noise of its decent was lost. Yet, she still heard the
ringing. Gingerly she reached down and picked up the book. She started to
pace the room, as she read, stepping to the beat of her heart.
"There are worse things to be then a stump. Even the road seems narrower
now.
I know this route, I know it from memory. I use to walk home this way from
school each day. The sky is starting to rumble. Furious clouds are
clashing. The rain hasn't started though. I wish it would. There is
something so cleansing about rain. When it rains the only sound I hear is
the pitter, pat. Pitter, pat. Silence can be a blessing. I feel a drop on
my neck. It hits just under my coat. I shiver, it feels good. My sloppy
writing is going to be washed away when the rain comes. The rain will
slice the paper in half. Tear it apart with the moisture.
I look up from my feet. My eyes flash up both directions as I cross the
street. The grass is turning brown. What simple observations I am making.
Few people take the time to notice everything. Everything takes to much
time. Here comes the rain."
"Dana," a voice called from the kitchen. It was soft, and kind of shaky.
She looked in that direction only to see her mother barely holding back
laughter.
"Tell Allegra the time when Melissa was in the shower, and Fox sneaked into
the bathroom thinking it was you..."
"Mom," Dana said her own voice very edgy.
"I have to check something first, be right back," The image conjured up by
that story, made her giggle even now. "Don't worry, I love that story, I
just have to check on something," she waved her hands in the air.
"Since when did Fox become 'something'?" Allegra asked with a Mulderesque
smirk
However, Dana was already out of the kitchen.
She opened the door with caution, not wanting to make a sound. Mentally
she was thinking, "Your crazy! Your paranoid! Of coarse he would still be
in bed! Hello Dana, shot, you know in the leg, where is he going to go?"
However, her worst fears were confirmed when he wasn't in bed. "Will you
shut up now?" She asked herself.
The two adoptive mothers of Mulder mistook her running into the room as
enthusiasm.
"So, spill the beans, what happened?" Allegra said wiping her eyes. She had
been laughing so hard she was crying.
"Mulder's not in bed? Have you seen him?"
"What?" Maggie Scully asked in disbelief.
"What?" Allegra said in shock.
"You know a man brown hair, hazel eyes, age 34, on crutches, have you seen
him?" Dana said immediately feeling regretful for the sarcasm. "Sorry, I
am just a little worried," she apologized.
"No, we haven't seen him. He couldn't have gotten far though," Maggie said
with a scowl. It looked like the same scowl Skinner often wore on his
face.
"I am going outside to look, you guys stay here," Dana said and was in
front of the house doing such in 5 seconds flat. She turned her head side
to side. Then she saw him.
"Phew!" she said. All anger, and anxiety was now gone. It was replaced by
her typical, "Mulder how could you be so stupid look."
If her mind had been working correctly she would have informed Allegra, and
her mother, he had been found. But when she was thinking about Mulder, her
mind was mush. Briskly she closed the distance between them. Despite the
fact that she was making a lot of noise running to him, he hadn't noticed.
He was to busy thinking about this spot. His spot.
Police officer Larry Visser stepped into his vehicle and slammed the door
shut.
The water was beading on his hat, the brim dripping water all over the
seats. He reached for his thermos of coffee. Officer Visser had been
waiting in front of the former Mulder residence on and off for 3 days now.
He was new to this department. However, at 44, he had been in small town
enforcement half his life. The only reason he could think of that he of
all people was performing this stakeout, was that he was the new guy in
town.
Larry shook his head. He didn't really care anymore about the reason, the
boy was more important his morals told him. The reason why he was watching
this house had never been explained to him. He had been told, the boy grew
up here, and his sister disappeared.
However, if it was known he would show up here, why wasn't he intercepted
before hand? Through the rain, he saw a figure running. The rain was
really pouring now, as if it was raining staples. He figured he'd get out,
if he saw any vandalism or destruction.
Other than that, he was going to stay put, weather the storm so to say.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Fox Mulder's feet ran through the grass in his parent's
yard. He tried to be discrete as he approached this monument. However, he
was having a hard enough time just controlling his balance, let alone his
emotions. He slid across the grass, the wet ground offsetting his stumble.
Fox Mulder tried to break his fall with his left arm. When touchdown
occurred, he realized his arm was not meant to bend that way.
He was glad he had made it to the back yard before he fell. He didn't want
the neighbors to see him like this. Fox shook his head, his arm hurt a
lot. He looked at the rain on the ground, and it was red. The only thing
he felt was nothing. Fox finally stood up, not looking at his arm. His
determination went back to the house, he had to see the house. Sam, would
be in the house. As he stepped forward his book bag swung back into back
and made contact with his injured arm. For the first time, he saw his
mangled arm. The bone was going straight through his arm.
"This is not how it is suppose to end," he fanatically said to himself.
All traces of pain were fading away, he was getting very dizzy. The house,
he had to make it to the house.
Somehow he made it into the doorway. The wooden kitchen with blue trim
greeted him. Fox let out a furious scream in pain. However, not over his
arm. She wasn't here. Samantha should have come running to the door by
now. His legs were turning to jello.
All of a sudden he tripped and fell, hitting his head against the edge of
the coffee table in the living room. As his eyes were closing he could
have sworn he saw a bright light and a presence in the room.
Allegra Sinclair was standing by his hospital bed the next morning.
Several officers and men in suits were questioning her. He didn't dare
open his eyes for more than a split second though, in the fear of being
found out. "No," Allegra said through gritted teeth.
"You can't take him away. He wasn't running away from me. Fox was making a
pilgrimage, home. To a place he once called home, a place he shared with
his little sister. However, as the phrase goes you can't go home again.
His sister disappeared.
What are you planning on doing with him? Letting him live with his mother?
She can barely take care of herself, let alone a child. His father? He's
the reason, the case was first brought to you social workers. William
Mulder is abusive. I am his only hope. I will not let you take him from
me, because of something you don't understand."
A man in a ugly charcoal gray suit, tugged his collar away from his neck.
Fox couldn't help but fight off a smile. His aunt was fighting for him.
She was fighting to keep him. Even after he had ditched her. He knew now,
that leaving as he did presented a huge problem for her. She was
responsible for him, and he had disappeared.
The man in the ugly suit spoke up, "We'll take this information into
consideration. However, to make our finally decision about soul custody,
we need to hear from the boy." Allegra wanted so badly to smile, but all
those years of playing cards with Ben and Renee was finally paying off, and
she maintained a poker face. "You can ask him now, he is a horrible
faker,"
Fox's eyes snapped open at that one, blushing. He had been caught in the
act. A slight wince occurred when he tried to shrug his eyebrows. He had
stitches there from the fall bandaged there above his left eyebrow.
"Well young man, good to see you up again. I have a question for you. I
want to you think long and hard about it. Okay?" The man in the ugly suit
looked over at his colleagues.
"Allegra," Fox said.
"What?" She asked him sitting down by his bed.
He grinned, he hadn't meant it like that.
"I want to stay with Allegra," he tried again.
The man in the ugly suit bit his lip and looked back at his collages again.
He only nodded to Fox and headed towards the exit.
"You forgot your cigarettes," Allegra called after him seeing a pack of
Morleys on the table.
"Your a life saver," the man in the ugly suit replied winking at Fox.
"See you around boy," the man said upon exiting.
Allegra was quiet for a few minutes, as was her nephew.
"How are you?" She finally asked.
"Weird. I remember something weird,"
"In what way?" Allegra inquired into the subject.
"Well, once I tripped and hit my head, I saw a bright light and a presence
in the room. It seemed so, familiar."
"Fox, that was police officer Larry Visser. He said he used the lights
from his car as a guide in the darkness of the storm. Officer Visser,
presumes you tripped over a game called Stratigo once inside and that's how
you got those seven stitches in your head."
Then it was Fox's turn to be quiet. He knew their was something else about
this experience he could explain. So he didn't.
Clarissa was signing the cast on Fox's arm, when Padraic came around the
bend with their sandwiches. There were extra pickles on his plate.
"You are laddy, and here you are my lady," Padraic said placing the plates
down on the table.
"Thanks," Clarissa said without looking up.
"Ditto," Fox said with a loop sided grin.
"Why are you to out on the town this late?" Padraic said pulling up a extra
chair.
"It's only about 9:00!" Fox replied with disbelief.
"Isn't it a school night?" Padraic inquired with sly look on his face.
"We were seeing a movie together," Clarissa said putting the lid on the
black marker she was using on the cast.
Fox moved his arm around to see what she had written.
"Don't get to jaded over the cast. Your friend, Clarissa."
"Your really p-unny!" Fox said admiring her writing again.
"Am I missing something here?" Padraic said rubbing his hand across his
chin.
Fox had not changed overnight, but he was beginning to open up in smaller
ways about his feelings.
Clarissa held out her necklace, as Fox set down his sandwich to dig out his
precious stone with his good arm.
They both held them in front of Padraic.
"As green as the hills of Ireland," he said.
Clarissa smiled, and picked up her sandwich. Fox was halfway done, and he
had the disadvantage of being able to only use one arm.
"So what movie did you see?" Padraic asked. He didn't expect a response
soon, their mouths were to full, but he wanted to fill the silence.
"Young Frankenstein," Fox said munching on the pickles.
"I have a gumming for a pickle," Clarissa said reaching over to his plate
to the men's amazement.
"How do you know what gumming means, my lady?" Padraic said in awe.
"My dad was Irish," she replied wiping her mouth with a napkin.
It sounded like "More had seen Cyrus."
"What?" Fox and Padraic said in exasperation.
"Oh," they laughed.
An hour later, Fox and Clarissa were walking home.
"Tell me," Clarissa said to the millionth time.
"I can't, I don't think my ribs can take anymore laughter," Fox said to.
For some unknown reason what he had misheard her saying was incredibly
funny.
They were walking up the steps to his house when they were about to
approach the landing. The landing was his spot. He remembered how not to
long ago she had showed him, her favorite spot. Well, now it was his turn.
"This is my favorite spot. I come here to think sometimes. I just stand
here and look at the city. All the shiny lights in the distance twinkling.
They kinda remind me of stars," Fox said all of a sudden.
Clarissa skipped a few steps and got there ahead of him. She stood there.
"You're right. Everything fades out. Then the world comes on. What's the
light there?
It looks like the big dipper to me?"
"I didn't know you knew about stars?" He gently teased her. She was right
however, the lights on the bridge straight ahead, did look like the big
dipper.
"Well," she replied looking at his face, into his eyes. "I'm learning."
"Mulder," Scully quietly said to him. He smiled upon seeing her, even
though he knew she is about to scold him. "What are you doing here? You
shouldn't be out of bed, let alone on a staircase. Plus, you could get a
cold out here," Scully said slipping an arm around his waist. She was
concerned, he had only been about 10 days since he had been shot. However,
it was more like a game they played. She would scold him, then they would
talk. "Scully," his voice held a warm tone for her name. "What do you see
from this landing?"
She looked up at his face sternly, "Mulder,"
"I know, I know. But what do you see Scully?" He said, there was a faint
sparkle in his distant eyes.
Having given up for a moment she responded, "Lights Mulder, the lights from
people's houses. Now can we go home?"
"When I was 13, I found this spot. Okay It wasn't much of a discovery, I
mean it is a landing on a stairwell. However, to me the lights looked like
stars. I missed seeing stars like I did on the cape," he said. His voice was getting more and more strained.
She took her other hand and wrapped it around his waist as well. Both for
emotional, and physical strength. Her hand made small circles rubbing his
back. She starting to notice, he needed the extra support to stand.
His hand that wasn't holding onto her for support, moved to her belly.
"How's my baby?" Mulder asked.
"Well," Scully said moving one arm around to met his, "I'm taking my baby
home."
Mulder looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"You, Mulder, I am taking you home," she said chuckling at his confused
expression.
As soon as they got into the house, Mulder collapsed into the nearest
chair.
"Fox, Dana," a voice said from the kitchen.
"We have a visitor, an old friend. Miss Clarissa Ceannt," Allegra's voice
called out.
Mulder's eyebrows raised again.
"The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed ;
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charm were broken if revealed."
---Charlotte Bronte
Willa Dedalus =
paperhearts4ever@yahoo.com