My Favourite Quotes

These are some really neat quotes that I enjoy, find useful, humourous, or meaningful. Enjoy them!

"You say I'm lazy then you lie around" -- from "Glory", on Sugar Ray's "14:59"

"I don't want to be your other half I believe that one and one make two" -- from "Not The Doctor", on Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill"

"Solve the problem yourself or accept a fate you may not like...from this perspective, the ethic of personal responsibility gains appeal." -- Noel M. Tichy

"And then there's love ... I want you to love to the tips of your fingers. And when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it; but you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient and it'll come to you I promise, and when you least expect it..." -- Jen Lindley on Dawson's Creek in her dying words to her daughter, in "...Must Come To An End"

"So fuck 'em" -- Cher, on critics

"As hard as it is to tell the truth, it's even harder to hear it." -- Jesse on Wasteland, in "Empty Pockets"

"I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart, but you've got bein' right down to an art, ya think you're a genius ya drive me up the wall, you're a regular original know-it-all oh ooh oh you think you're special, oh ooh oh you think you're something else--okay, so you're a rocket scientist--that don't impress me much!" -- from "That Don't Impress Me Much", on Shania Twain's "Come On Over"

"Our next presenter is being sued by more people than the Catholic Church. Give it up for P. Diddy!" -- Chris Rock at the 2003 MTV VMA's

"So many boys, so little time..." -- Alanis Morissette, on her DVD "Feast on Scraps"

"Caution: Battery harmful if swallowed" -- Warning label found on the back of Tamagotchis

"Jesus is not a Bigot" -- shirt worn by Barlow at the 2004 Juno Awards

"Why would God make us all different if He wanted us all to be the same" -- Dean in the movie 'Saved!'

"I close my eyes and fantasize about you right in front of me and when I find I'm satisfied I wake up and I realize that everything you've done to me was only in my mind" -- from "Only In My Mind", on soulDecision's "No One Does It Better"

"I don't wanna be going through this but I am" -- Jack McPhee on Dawson's Creek, in "...That Is The Question"

"That sucks doesn't it?" -- Darryl Snider (of I.D.) during a performance at Kingswood Music Theatre in Vaughan, ON, referring to microphone problems in the previous song.

"In the long run, we're all dead" - Keynes (Philosopher and economist)

"Worrying is just as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum" -- from "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)", by Baz Luhrmann.

"... Thanks to my wonderful husband Mark; someday soon we can get a legal marriage license and you can make an honest homosexual out of me" -- Tony Kushner, director of Angels in America at the 2004 Emmy Awards

"Surf the Internet, not the Morissette" -- Alanis Morissette

"I think everyone feels alone and wants to be normal... and, and I don't think anyone ever really does" -- Joey Potter on Dawson's Creek, in "Be Careful What You Wish For"

"... freedoms are not a given. How many of us have watched the news coverage of terrorism going on in other countries and said, “Oh, how sad,” and then just turned the channel? Have we mourned the world’s losses the way they’re mourning with us now?" -- Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys, in reference to September 11th

"I mean the institution of marriage is an antiquated construct. I think that if a couple wants to stay together they should do so by choice, I mean, all the sweeping vows and public ceremony, it just sets people up to fail miserably." -- Andrea McPhee on Dawson's Creek in "A Perfect Wedding"

"Did it suddenly get stupider in here?" -- Garfield

"May we define our beliefs as consciously as possible and may our choices be fueled by the desire to understand and resolve rather than to perpetuate these complex conflicts and all that is at the root of them" -- Alanis Morissette

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat" -- Lily Tomlin

"They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we" -- George W. Bush on terrorists

"It was inspired by my twin brother and a cousin of mine. Anyone who feels that they're isolated at some point in their life -- isolated and not connected. This song was my way of telling them that they are connected and they're not alone in their seemingly wise worlds" -- Alanis Morissette discussing her song No Pressure Over Cappuccino

"Like all great romantics, Shakespeare realized love was a lot more likely to end with a bunch of dead Danish people than with a kiss" -- Dawson Leery on Dawson's Creek

"Football is just an excuse for boys to get their hands on other boys" -- Shirley Manson

"Peel fruit from cellophane before eating" -- Warning on every Fruit Roll-Up packaging

"You can't be the president and the head of the military at the same time" -- George W. Bush on Pakistan's president Pervez Musharraf

"I know you're gay but I like the hard to get type" -- Alanis Morissette, on her DVD "Feast on Scraps"

"I don't know what World War III will be fought with, but I know World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones" -- Albert Einstein

"It's amazing, I feel like third clarinet in band getting on the basketball team" -- Diana Krall on winning three Juno Awards

Homer: Are we going on the air live?!?!?!
Voice artist of Itchy and Scratchy: No Homer, most cartoons aren't broadcast live, it puts a terrible strain on the writers' hands that way. --From The Simpsons

"I've slept with all the boy bands, I know them all" -- Elton John after the 2000 Grammy Awards, when questioned on his judgement that the Backstreet Boys were better than the rest

"Music makes the people come together, yeah, music makes the Bourgeoisie and the Rebel (acid rock!)" -- from "Music" on Madonna's album "Music"

"Boredom is a luxury" -- Me

"Tired of being compared, to damn Britney Spears, she's so pretty, that just ain't me" -- from "Don't Let Me Get Me" on P!nk's album "M!sundaztood"

"The last thing we in the world need is another Matchbox 20-slash-Barenaked-slash-Dave Matthews-slash-male Al-ah-nis" [Imitates shooting self in head] -- A record company executive on Vandy's music career on Wasteland in "Pilot"

"Am I comin' or goin? I can barely decide. I just drank a fifth of Kool-Aid - dare me to drive? (Go ahead). All my life I was very deprived. I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide. Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk, I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks" -- from "My Name Is...", on Eminem's "Slim Shady LP"

"I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman" -- California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I love speaking French to the taxi drivers" -- from "London", on Alanis Morissette's "Unsent" (North America), "Joining You" (Europe), and "So Pure" (Japan) singles.

"For sixty bucks I'll cater your ass" -- Pacey Witter to Jack McPhee on Dawson's Creek in "A Perfect Wedding"

"They always said ALWAYS SAID always said you were easy, well if I could have just-a-one piece of that I'd be sold" -- from "Sweet Ones" on Sarah Slean's "Night Bugs"

"Only an idiot would enjoy a Monday" -- Garfield

"Look at 'em. They got tougher! All right... they gonna change their name to CWA - Crackers with Attitudes" -- Chris Rock on the Backstreet Boys at the 1999 MTV Video Music Awards

[Panellists are discussing being gay] "If kids want to be hip, they'll be black, not gay" -- Bill Maher

"I don't wanna be a fool for you, just another player in your game for two" -- from "Bye Bye Bye" on *N SYNC's "No Strings Attached"

[Scene: Ancient Rome, where Sabrina has been called to a witch's tribunal and it has been decided she will be thrown to the lions]. Judge: ...Before the carnage begins, ladies and gentlemen our national anthem [sound of violinist playing "O Canada"] -- taken from Sabrina The Teenage Witch; aired Friday, February 19th, 1999

"I like to soak the big, thick corks..."
"While you're soaking the cork, you can also massage the grapes until the corks are ready..."
"Well, ever since I started soaking cork I am the most popular girl in school..."
"So we soaked each others corks at the same time... can you imagine that? me soaking his cork while he soaked mine? What year was that? ...
...
Let's just say between 68 and 70 ok?" -- quotes from a Saturday Night Live sketch (featuring Janet Jackson), Saturday April 10, 2004

"We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect" -- from "Perfect", on Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill"

"Be kind, be honest, that's what people deserve" -- Russell on Wasteland, in "Pilot"

"Don't want you back, forgive my honesty, but you gotta go, I, I don't want you back" -- from "Don't Want You Back", on Backstreet Boys' "Millennium"

"God can be small" -- Alanis Morissette

"You know who you are, you're Nancy Drew...from Hell" -- Chris Wolfe (to Abby Morgan) on Dawson's Creek, in "Sex She Wrote"

"...and like a great big cartoon bubble, these lovely words will dance above their head: You jerk, you jerk, you are such a jerk, there are other words but they just don't work, you jerk" -- from "Jerk", on Kim Stockwood's "Bonavista"

"Are you feeling stupid?? I know I am!" -- Homer Simpson

"Je ne suis personne" -- Alanis Morissette on the CD The Prayer Cycle

"It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone" -- Unknown

"What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just a stranger on the bus, tryin' to make his way home, back up to heaven all alone..." -- from "One of Us", on Joan Osborne's "Relish"

"We watch movies of murder and we need censor the breast" -- from "Awakening Americans," on Alanis Morissette's "Hands Clean" single

Mr. Peterson (talking about books they should study for the exam): "... and the one everyone's talking about - Beowulf" [at this point, an unknown character tosses a piece of paper to Jen. Later we discover that this character, played by Jason Behr, is named Chris Wolfe]

"Show me the meaning of being lonely" -- from "Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely", on Backstreet Boys' "Millennium"

"... the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.  And if you find someone to love the you you love -- well, that's just fabulous" -- Carrie Bradshaw on Sex And The City in "An American Girl in Paris (Part Deux)"

"Asia is one of my favourite places on earth, the eye contact, food, temples — I'm intoxicated by the prospect of seeing other lands, cultures, and people. I prefer to be more natural when I'm there" -- Alanis Morissette

"We're going to have a high today of minus three degrees Celsius; as we go to the news room right now it's minus two..." -- host of City TV's Breakfast Television

"Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips just a bunch of gibberish so mother fucka that 'cause they forgot about Dre." -- Eminem from "Forgot About Dre" by Dr. Dre and Eminem

Abby: Who do I have to sleep with to solve this mystery?
Chris: I can think of one -- taken from Dawson's Creek, from the episode "Sex, She Wrote"

"You from New York, you are so relevant, you reduce me to cosmic tears" -- from "So Pure", on Alanis Morissette's "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie"

"This lander was returned here by the historical sticklers society" -- sign seen in a lunar lander memorial on Futurama

"Well you may never be or have a husband, and you may never have or hold a child" -- from "No Pressure Over Cappuccino", on Alanis Morissette's "MTV Unplugged"

"Sure there's no "I" in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'" -- Kevin Meyers

"I wish I had me to listen to when I was 14" -- Alanis Morissette

"Music creates order out of chaos; for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous" -- Sir Yehudi Menuhin

"We need reflection, we need a really good memory, feel free to call me a little more often" -- from "Joining You", on Alanis Morissette's "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie"

Chris Wolfe (Sarcastically): "Why? Out of the goodness of my heart?"
Abby Morgan (Seductively): "I'll let you touch me in bad places"
Chris (immediately, with his voice cracking): "Okay"
-- taken from Dawson's Creek, from the episode "Sex, She Wrote"

"I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay." -- Madonna

"Accept the fact that musicians, movie stars and athletes are not perfect, they make mistakes and can't always be counted on to be role models. Art incites, entices, it awes, and angers, it takes all its various incarnations to maintain the balance, vitality and authenticity of the artistic process. Let's not forget that sometimes it takes tolerance to teach tolerance." -- Michael Greene (President/CEO of NARAS, 2001)

"This next song deserves no introduction" -- Alanis Morissette, at the Air Canada Centre (December 12, 2002), before playing Too Hot for the first time in almost ten years.

"Always too hot, never too cold, ya take your best shot too hot to hold, never too young, never too old, you gotta go for gold!" -- from "Too Hot" on Alanis' self-titled debut.

That's about it for now!

If you have any quotes you think are really interesting, or have anything else to say, feel free to sign my guestbook!

Last Updated December 21, 2008.

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