"The Lawn Mower Repair Man's Front Page"


"The Ballad of Fred"

5/14/00

Come and let me tell a story 'bout a man named Fred,
His lawn mowers owners manual was never read.
And then one day he went to mow his grass,
the mower wouldn't start, was full of bad gas.

Stale fuel, smelly stuff.

Well the first thing you know, ole' Fred's a tinkering there,
adjusting this and that, and messin' everywhere.
Screwed it up real royal, and then he gave a shrug,
takes it to the shop and says, "I think it needs a plug".

...Hey Fred...... BITE ME!

Now Fred needs a carb job and a whole lot more,
Bent and broken parts, some lost upon the floor.
and now his mower ain't worth the cost of repair,
throw it in the pile of junk, with Fred's underware.

Any similarities between "Fred" and any person living or not, is purely on purpose coincidence. The name "Fred" was used simply because it rhymed with the original character, "Jed". So don't get bent.
Apologies to Earl and Lester.

LMRM; Bob :<=

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