Living in the tunnels the days and the nights rolled into one. Most of that time Catherine sat staring out into space. If she got up at all it was to relieve the call of nature. She could not be encouraged to do anything or visit with anyone, her whole world collapsed the day her children died.

Vincent was much the same and he blamed himself. He blamed himself from the beginning for sending her away, for setting her upon the roller coaster ride that caused her so much stress at a period of time in her life when she should have been relaxed and resting and the death of his children took its toll.

Looking down at their faces that day, he’d been shocked by what he’d seen. Both had been like him, two sons, identical twins identical leonine twins. Vincent hated himself for what he’d brought upon Catherine, he hated himself more for the mistrust that had led to the death of his children. He too was inconsolable.

Once in a lifetime, the leonine ones came once in a lifetime, once during every other generation, until the world was ready to accept them…well the world had been not the problem. First Vincent had refused to accept the conception, then Catherine had been prepared to terminate the pregnancy, finally when she had returned to him, he had again attempted to send her away… And so he believed that their soul mates had taken the matter into their own hands and determined that he and Catherine were the ones unready to accept the leonine ones.

That fact broke Vincent’s heart. He had not been ready it was true, all through Catherine’s pregnancy he had sought an outlet, he knew that now. Disbelieving the child to be his and then all the trouble he had caused when he discovered Catherine intended a termination. Everything he had forced upon her. If the roles had been reversed he could see how insulting it would have been to be sent away from the one you loved, despite everything you said to the contrary. Vincent had not wanted to listen and due to it fate had taken its own path and found the couple unworthy.

Having Catherine there in the tunnels was a source of pleasure and of pain to Vincent. Each time he looked into her eyes he saw accusation there. He could never blame her for that. The guilt was reflected in his own eyes. In the three weeks since the babies had died Catherine had not spoken to him, he wondered if she ever would again. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she hated him for what he had done to her. He hated himself.

Neither had spoken about their babies, though Father had explained the problem. “We assumed they were premature.” He told them both not long after the babies had been delivered. “Yet they were fully formed. It is possible that the gestation period for the leonine ones, is much shorter than ours… with a mix being somewhere between the two. Its possible therefore that even if early they should have survived, and we do not know why they died, as there is no one we can ask.”

Vincent and Catherine didn’t need to ask questions, they knew why their babies had died. The parents had not been ready to accept them.

“See it this way.” Father tried to consol his son “The fact that the babies were both leonine must be that the world is ready to accept them now. See how easily Charles, and apparently Nancy accepted you, and I think if Joe could see you, he would too.”

“I'm to blame.” Vincent reminded him, “You don’t have to say it. I wasn’t prepared to accept others like me. Our soul mates knew that.”

Father shook his head, “No. I don’t go along with that Vincent. I don’t think they have the ability to cause life or to snatch it away. It was just one of those stress related things.”

“Or the way I manhandled Catherine. You don’t have to say it Father, I know. I tossed Catherine over my shoulder so savagely she vomited, and at the same time I broke her waters. I killed my own sons!”

Father ached to disagree unfortunately it was all too plain that the possibility was there. He’d seen it. He’d seen how violently Vincent had thrown Catherine over his shoulder so that the impact had caused her to be sick and the height he’d tossed her and the fact that he’d twisted her stomach had caused her waters to break prematurely.

“Has Catherine spoken with you yet?”

“No.”

“Have you tried speaking with her?”

Vincent shook his head. “I can see it in her eyes that she blames me.”

“Vincent I have to ask, do you love her still?”

“Always!”

“Perhaps she doesn’t know this? Perhaps you should tell her? You don’t have to elaborate…just three little words would suffice.”

Vincent sighed raggedly, “Maybe you’re right. We really should talk. It’s doing her no good ignoring this. She wouldn’t even attend the funeral.” Tears gathered in Vincent’s eyes as he remembered carrying the two small coffins one on each of his shoulders, guided by Devin on his left side and Pascal on the right, his vision blurred from crying.

They’d buried the babies among the catacombs, where they’d laid to rest all their loved ones.

“Go to her now.” Father whispered tenderly, his eyes wet with tears. “She needs you.”

Vincent nodded, stood and exited the chamber. Father would know soon enough if it worked.

Vincent found Catherine in his chamber, in much the same position as when he’d left hours earlier. Always Catherine stared into space, her eyes haunted, though she would acknowledge his arrival with a slight turn of her head, and though her gaze would follow him, she’d say nothing.

Vincent decided there was only one way to do this. He dropped to his knees in front of her and looking up into her face told her, “Catherine, forgive me, I love you, and I’m so, so sorry.”

Over the weeks Catherine had wondered what Vincent might say, and how she would react. At first she decided whatever he said she’d shout and tell him to go away, and leave her be. Then as time went by she felt his pain and her thoughts changed considerably, so now with his plea she wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed. His arms came up and went around her drawing her down off the chair to sit on the floor at his side. There they held one another freely crying, sharing their grief and their sorrow.

“I love you Vincent, I love you so much.”

“Oh Catherine…my love…my own sweet angel…what have I done to you?”

“Vincent, please…let’s not talk about that…its over now…what you did…what was behind it…I can’t talk about it anymore…it hurts too much.”

“Yet…”

“No Vincent, enough…I don’t want to talk about what led to…to…I don’t want to talk about what we’ve lost and why, I want only to have you hold me and know that you love me.”

“Then know it! I do love you Catherine, so much, so very, very much. Oh God, I’m so sorry…so very, very sorry…” He clung to her, tears coursing down his cheeks and Catherine realised that she might not want to dredge up the past but he needed to in order to place it behind him and never look back but first…there was something she needed from him…

“Take me to bed Vincent.”

He gasped and drew away from her looking into her eyes to verify if he’d heard right. Her eyes smouldered with love and need for him. “I know it’s not the answer, but right now…oh Vincent I need you closer than a heartbeat.”

“You mean…”

“Yes!”

“Isn’t it too soon?”

“No!”

“Catherine…as much as I would want nothing more… I really think we should postpone doing this.”

Catherine shook her head and began to stand, holding on to his hand and pulling him up with her, walking toward the bed. “Please Vincent, it’s been too long… and I need you so.”

“Catherine…it’s too soon.”

“I know my own body Vincent, and it’s okay believe me.” Catherine’s eyes shone with hope and anticipation and Vincent suddenly understood her intention. Reluctantly he shook his head, “Catherine…we must wait. Another child will not replace those we have lost.”

“Oh but it will!” Catherine tugged at his hand. Vincent’s eyes filled with tears, he hated to deny her, but he knew giving her another baby was not the answer. She must first learn to accept the loss of their sons. He shook his head, “I do love you Catherine, and oh…yes I so want to make love with you…but what you plan…it can’t be my love, not yet…it isn’t right, its too soon.”

Tears gathered and fell down Catherine’s cheeks then, and she looked so forlorn he gathered her into his arms and cuddled her.

“I miss them Vincent. I wanted them so badly…I almost had them killed and then I lost them anyway…oh Vincent…they were leonine…I want your child so much…please Vincent, please…” She begged.

He stroked her hair and wiped her tears away with his fingers, his heart ached for her and with her and his own heart was breaking. “I too miss them. They were beautiful Catherine, you gave me beautiful children.”

“You gave me beautiful sons, Vincent!” Catherine admonished, “You!”

“But the answer is not in making more Catherine, I know you see that. We need to grieve for them…talk about them…and we need to give them names…”

Catherine hadn’t thought of that, she nodded thoughtfully, seeing his dear face through a haze of tears, “Yes we should. Where did you put them?”

“In among the catacombs, three levels down.”

“Can we go there?”

“Now?”

Catherine nodded, and clutched at his hand, “Yes.”

“Of course we can.” He draped an arm around her shoulders, “Come.” He turned her toward the way out.

“Did you take them down there, Vincent?”

“Yes. One on each shoulder.”

Catherine pictured this, and her heart broke afresh imagining how this must have been for him. “I’m so sorry, Vincent. For making you do that alone.”

“I wasn’t alone, my family were with me.” There was no accusation in his tone.

“I’m glad.”

Vincent squeezed her shoulder and drew her closer against him and revelled in having her there, only just realising how much he’d missed her closeness.

“I know you wouldn’t have…well you know…on purpose Vincent…it was one of those things…you were mad with me…and you didn’t know I hadn’t had the termination…I don’t blame you Vincent…so you mustn’t blame yourself either.”

“Oh but I do. I was horrid to you.”

“I challenged your strength against mine.” Catherine tried to smile, but it didn’t come off. “Maybe we should share the blame?”

“Yes.”

Vincent fell silent for a time then told her, “ I think we were punished.”

Catherine nodded, “I too think that. We were considered unfit to have leonine babies. And Vincent?”

“Yes?”

“If we are ever blessed with babies again, I don’t think they will be leonine. I think we missed our chance.”

“I too think that.” Vincent admitted sadly.

“But you will give me a child?” Vincent heard the teasing in her tone and looked down at her, meeting his gaze to hers. Her eyes were dancing with light and love for him. He bent his head till his lips met hers…”Catherine…” He murmured against her mouth, “I would like to very much…”

“Only?”

“Only, what?”

Catherine shrugged, “I got the feeling there was a condition tagged to that.”

For the first time in as long as he could remember Vincent laughed, “Yes my love…this time I plan to do it right. Will you still marry me, Catherine?”

“Oh Vincent, you know I will!”

“I don’t deserve you, Catherine.”

Catherine smiled, “Oh yes you do, besides what would we be without the better halves of each other?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

Remembering, Catherine’s eyes dulled and she nodded, “Yes. Don’t ever put me through that again, Vincent.”

“Never!”

For a while they walked in silence and when the tunnel allowed for it Vincent kept his arm around her shoulders, otherwise they held hands, until at last they reached the silent world of the catacombs, where a slight breeze blew, keeping the area cool and fresh.

“We laid them here.” Vincent touched the granite stones positioned over each tiny grave. Tears welled in Catherine’s eyes and fell swiftly down her cheeks. Her sobs echoed through the catacombs. Vincent stood back a little way sensing she needed the space and time to say her own goodbyes, coming to her only when she fished behind her searching for his hand.

“You name one and I’ll name the other.” She told him. “Is there something we can use to engrave their names on the stones?”

“Yes. We left a chisel nearby, for when you were ready to come here.”

Catherine nodded, “With your permission I’d like to name one of our sons, Joseph.”

Vincent didn’t ask why, he’d accepted that Joe Maxwell was a good man and for that reason alone, Catherine would wish to name one of their sons after him.

“Yes, Joseph it is. And the other I should like to call Jacob.”

Catherine questioned, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ve given it a great deal of thought, and even though that child died its fitting.”

Nodding, Catherine bent down and smoothed her hand over the two granite slabs, “Joseph and Jacob.” She whispered, “I love you, mommy loves you so much.”

At her side Vincent bent to his knees, and placed his hands over hers, “I too love you.” He told the two tiny graves, as his tears fell to the sandy floor. “Rest in peace my sons.”

There was so much more he’d liked to say but he felt unable. Apportioning the blame would not bring them back, and he felt that it would have been inappropriate. What was done was done, and though he would blame himself for their deaths for the rest of his life…it would not bring them back. He could only learn from the very big mistake he had made and the price it had cost him.

They stayed at the gravesides for the rest of that day, Catherine helping Vincent to chisel out the names and placing a small heartfelt message on each. Then only when it became too cold for them to remain any longer did they reluctantly get to their feet and with several backward glances, leave their children behind. It was the hardest thing they had ever had to do in all their lives. They felt they were leaving the better part of themselves behind…and it almost tore them in two.

As they left their children behind they did not hear the whispered message on the breeze that blew among the catacombs as their soul mates discussed the future…nor did they hear the decision that was reached…a test had been set…as to whether or not Vincent and Catherine passed that test…only time would tell…

To be continued in Chapter Nine