Castle of Sand Part One ‘Castle Of Sand’ Part One It had been one of those lovely evenings just laid listening to the music beneath the concert, and Vincent had wrapped Catherine and himself snugly inside his voluminous cloak to keep them both warm, draping one arm protectively around the back of her neck, holding her close against him. Catherine had looked forward to this moment all week. And what a tiring week it had been, with Stella from the other office, on compassionate leave, it meant that she’d had added responsibility until a suitable candidate had been given a temporary position to cover Stella’s absence. Joe had been apologetic, and had tried his best to relieve some of the mounting files upon Catherine’s desk, but there never seemed to be an end to them, no matter how fast or how hard either of them had worked. And so this evening spent with Vincent was truly bliss, and Catherine was loving every moment of it. Her eyes gently closed, Catherine murmured sleepily as the final chords of harmony drifted down from Above, losing her in a most exquisite dream where the soft strains of music provided the perfect backdrop to her hearts desire. Those of never having to leave this wonderful man that she loved so much. A dream in which, she never had to go back to the office again, to plough through endless files, and deal with irate clients, who wanted everything done, ‘like yesterday’. What a relief it had been when a few minutes before five on this Thursday afternoon, Joe had brought across Stella’s replacement for the next two months, and introduced him to her. “Cathy, this is Daniel he’s going to take some of the strain off of you and I until Stella returns. He’s starting first thing tomorrow morning.” Catherine had been absorbed in her writing, and lay aside her pen to welcome her new colleague, totally unprepared for the attraction that had flared between them. It had only been a fleeting desire, but one look at those gorgeous puppy dog eyes, and that infectious smile, had sent her pulses racing. It was one of those times that she cursed the connection she shared with Vincent, for however slight her feelings had been towards Daniel, it had occurred too fast for her to clamp down on the Bond, and she knew that Vincent would have known of it without a doubt. The feeling had disturbed her too, for not since Elliot had she found such magnetism with anyone other than Vincent, and if Vincent should ask about it, how could she explain it when it made no sense even to herself? The problem stayed on her mind all the way home from the office, even while she prepared to meet Vincent, and it had begun to spoil the evening she had so looked forward to all week. For Catherine was certain that the moment Vincent helped her down from the steps leading off from the basement, he would feel inclined to mention it. So it had been a most pleasant surprise to find that when they did meet he had given nothing away to suggest that he had sensed anything at all, and Catherine found herself beginning to hope that for once, maybe, just maybe, he had been too busy at some other task to have noticed. Huh, some hope! For now as the music drew to its conclusion, Vincent shifted uneasily, in such a way that Catherine knew for a certainty that he had something on his mind, and she held her breath, ‘here it comes’ she thought. “Tell me about your day?” Vincent asked matter of factly, too cool, too cautious. Catherine wasn’t sure how to answer, and tugged nervously at the skin on her lower lip with her teeth. They had been down this road before, and she really was tired of it. It was so difficult knowing how to handle it, for Vincent had such an inferiority complex about their relationship, and Catherine wondered if he would ever be any different, and she wondered how best to answer him. Tilting his head to look at her, Vincent waited patiently, knowing how unsettled she felt, until eventually Catherine replied, “There wasn’t anything unusual today Vincent, just the file’s I have been ploughing through these last few days. The main case that I was working on last week, is just about wrapped up, and now that the new guy has arrived, he’ll take off my work load, so I’ll be able to get home earlier in the evenings.” Vincent listened without comment and hesitated before asking softly, “What’s he like...this new guy?” he thought it was strange of Catherine to say that there was nothing unusual, not when she would be getting home earlier each evening, that in itself was cause for celebration. So what, if anything, was she hiding? Catherine tensed, she hadn’t expected Vincent to pick up on that quite so quickly. She thought he would have asked her about her work, the case that was almost finalised, but no, this new guy was at the top of his list, because he knew that she had felt something for him. “He’s nice actually”, Catherine replied still trying to sound normal, dismayed when her voice wavered, and she found herself having to lower her eyes from Vincent’s as a slight blush stained her cheeks. Vincent shuffled uncomfortably, and gathered himself for standing. Above them all was quiet now, the concert had finished, and the audience had melted away into the darkness. Holding out his hand, Vincent helped Catherine to her feet, and they began the long walk back towards the threshold. There was only one thing for it, she would have to tackle it head on. Mustering all the courage she could find, Catherine spoke boldly, “You felt it didn’t you?” Vincent stopped walking, and turned to look at her, “What?” he asked her innocently. “Oh, Vincent, let’s stop playing games, I can’t bear the tension.” Catherine ran a hand over her weary brow, “ We’ve had a lovely evening and I know that before I go up those steps tonight, you are going to say something that will hang in the air until we meet again and spoil the time we’ve just shared. So we may as well tackle it now.” she told him exasperated, then taking another deep breath she told him, “ the new guy at work, Daniel, he’s nice, as I said.....” she stopped, what more could she say? “And?” Vincent’s tone was low, anticipating...what? “And what more can I say Vincent. For one moment, one fleeting moment I was attracted to him. And I don’t know why. It has nothing to do with the way I feel about you. I love you.” her voice rose an octave. Vincent was looking at her steadily, “I do not know that this feeling lasted only a moment, you closed down on our connection. The feeling you had for this man may have lasted longer.” “Vincent I would never lie to you!” Catherine was stunned that he could think it. “Maybe not in so many words, yet your heart tells me otherwise.” “I closed the Bond to spare your feelings.” she told him. “Not soon enough then.” he continued to look at her steadily, and Catherine felt her temper rising, “I didn’t know it was going to happen!” her voice filled with despair, “Joe just introduced him, and there it was, what can I say, what do you want me to say, Vincent? I love you.” “And I love you...but if our paths had not crossed...” “Oh Vincent! Please don’t say that again. I have no regrets about loving you, none about having come to know you. You are all that I need Vincent, you are everything to me, you know that.” “That’s as maybe...for now.” “What do you mean.” Catherine felt a rush of sadness sweep over her. How could she ever make him believe she loved him more than life? “You can’t deny that you will be seeing this man every day at work, something between the two of you will grow.” Vincent shook his head sadly. “No Vincent”, Catherine shook her head, “I promise you it won’t.” “I have no right to your promises Catherine. What you and I share is just a dream. It will lead us nowhere, and you have other needs that I...cannot...fulfil.” he hung his head then, shamefully, hiding his face within the curtain of his hair. Catherine turned with him, bending slightly to see into his eyes as he tried desperately to hide his shame, “No Vincent I don’t believe that, and if it were true Vincent, then I accept this fate gladly.” “But at what price Catherine? Before we met you had a life, you were destined for greater things, and maybe this new man would have been the one for you to share it with.” They were walking slowly now, through the tunnels towards the threshold and their inevitable parting. Yet Catherine could not let them part until this problem had been resolved. Desperately she wanted to stall him, to hold back time until they had covered every aspect, and she had made him see what he meant to her. Perhaps if she could delay their parting, she might be able to reassure him? Taking a deep breath she asked, “Can we go to your chamber Vincent?” For a few moments Vincent wondered why she had suggested such a thing. The threshold was close, while his chamber was a long walk in the opposite direction, and he knew she was already tired, “No its late, and you have work tomorrow.” Something inside Catherine snapped, her eyes flashing she told him, “Why are you always so concerned about what’s best for me!” she didn’t mean to have sounded so ungrateful, after all, he’d only had her welfare at heart, “I’m sorry Vincent, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” Vincent searched her eyes. He knew, despite everything she was telling him that she was perturbed about her attraction to the new man at work, and a great sadness engulfed him as he told her. “Perhaps now is the time to end our dream Catherine.” His voice was soft, and unable to meet her gaze he continued, “The time has come for you to move on and forget about me.” Catherine felt a wave of nausea strike her as she told him unhappily, “I could never forget about you Vincent. You are too much a part of me!” “But in time you will forget,” he told her, trying to keep his voice steady. While inside he was dying. Catherine sighed deeply, “Vincent why do you do this? Why do you continue to cause this heartache, for me, for yourself, don’t you think if I didn’t want anymore to do with you I would say so?” “No Catherine. I believe you like the fantasy of our relationship. But Catherine, what we have is a dream. You would be only too happy to follow that dream for all of your life and never complain, but Catherine I know you. You have a life to live, Above. There are children waiting to be born Above. A man to love you Above. I have no rights to keep these things from you.” Throughout his answer Catherine was shaking her head, and now he had finished speaking, tears gathered in her eyes and fell as she told him, “I don’t want any of these things Vincent, not without you. Can’t you see that? I love you so much.” “Out of the abundance of the heart so the mouth speaks Catherine. And even you cannot deny that you are attracted to this man.” Catherine sighed deeply, telling him sadly, “Vincent we are going around in circles.” “And this will always be the case Catherine until you admit that I am right.” Vincent told her, his blue eyes blazing with unshed tears. “Yet even your own heart is breaking, Vincent.” she whispered. “Yes.” “Then how can you bear it. I don’t want to do as you ask Vincent, not even to show how wrong you are, but this is always going to come between us isn’t it?” defeated now, Catherine hadn’t the heart to pursue it any further, and sighed deeply. Standing before her, Vincent raised her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, as he told her seriously, “You have a life Catherine, you have to lead it. What we have here is make believe, and being here with me is preventing you from achieving all you have to achieve. You can do it Catherine, I know you and I will always be here for you, but only as a friend.” “I can’t believe that”, Catherine shook her head, “You love me, the way that I love you.” “No Catherine, it is different.” Vincent shook his head, “You have desires and needs from the world Above. I have no such desires.” “Then that, Vincent is the first lie you have ever spoken to me.” Catherine held on to his steady gaze. Vincent was rocked to the core, yet he stood his ground, for it appeared to him that they were going forward at last, were actually getting somewhere. Before when they had spoken of this, Catherine had put up such barriers, but this time she seemed to be weakening. Yes, he would miss her, true, but she had a future that didn’t include him. Could never include him. And he had to make her see that. Catherine was watching him closely as he fought for control, fought against denying the lie and could not. Reaching out, Catherine placed the palms of her hands upon Vincent’s chest, feeling him shudder, knowing how the contact enflamed him and Catherine felt jubilant. “No!” the roar had escaped before Vincent could stop it, echoing along the tunnels, leaving Vincent ashamed as the echoes grew fainter and fainter, yet he could only stand and stare down at her. Catherine knew what her touch did to him, yet she refused to take her hands away. For long moments they faced one another, both breathing heavily. Vincent’s mind was in a whirl, he had come so close, had almost succeeded in showing her where her true destiny lay, but oh! the touch of her hands upon him was sheer bliss and torture, and he didn’t know how to continue. “Please Vincent” Catherine begged now, “Don’t deny your own feelings. You have as much of a right to a future as anyone else, and Vincent, it can be with me, I promise you.” Summoning all the strength he could muster, Vincent flung her hands away from him, “No!” He told her again, “It can never be! Catherine our dream must end. It has to do, for your own sake, and one day Catherine you will realise this when the pain and the heartache have subsided. Then you will thank me for finding the strength to make you leave me like this. Go live your life Catherine the way it was meant to be lived!” Turning on his heal Vincent strode away in the opposite direction to the threshold, he could no longer see her home, one more look in those compelling green eyes and he would be lost, but Catherine had other ideas. Running after him she caught him up, reached out and grabbed his sleeve, halting his headlong flight. If they were going to do this thing then it had to be on her terms, yet when she saw the pain in his eyes she almost changed her mind. She knew he loved her, why did he have to do this to them? Vincent deserved more of a life than anyone else, he was everything good that there was in a person, and he loved and desired her however much he convinced himself otherwise. As Catherine attempted to turn him around, Vincent roared, “No!” Trying to shake her off, but Catherine stood her ground, holding on to him tighter, as a strange calm settled upon her. She knew that this problem had to be resolved, or it would always stand between them, and Vincent had to be shown that his beliefs were entirely groundless. Expecting that Catherine was intent on changing his mind, Vincent was stunned when she told him, “All right Vincent, you win. I’ll try it your way. I’ll go out of your life and I’ll seek that for which you say is awaiting me. My only hope is that you don’t live to regret losing your own chance of happiness.” Vincent stared down at her, unable to believe that she had at last accepted what he had tried to tell her for three years. And that was what he had wanted wasn’t it? So why did he feel that some tragedy had just befallen him? For long moments, Vincent stared down at her. At the rise and fall of her breast, her laboured breathing. And he felt an overwhelming need to comfort her, but knew he could not. Not now, not when she had at last seen things his way. “We can still be friends Catherine.” he told her softly, “I will always be here for you as a friend.” Catherine shook her head, the tears beginning to fall, “No Vincent, the break must be clean. Final. And you must suppress the desire to come to me whenever you feel I am in danger. I’ll take my chances with the rest, and besides, Isaac’s training will come into its own now. I’ll get to see what I am capable of.” Vincent was shaking his head, “No Catherine, whenever I feel your fear I will come to you.” Fresh tears began to gather in his blue eyes. But Catherine was adamant, “No Vincent, no. If this is going to work you will have to keep away, and you will have to close down on the Bond, for your own sanity as much as for anything else, or sense of me will tear you apart, and I love you Vincent. I couldn’t bear to be a party to that.” “As I could not bear to be a party to have the power to rescue you and not do so.” he whispered low, his eyes searching hers. “Then I will alter my work load, only take cases that don’t bring me into known danger. Joe and Daniel can go out in the field.” Vincent winced, the mention of the other man’s name, unbearable to him. Would his Catherine be seeing this man? The thought uppermost in his mind cried out to be spoken, “Will you see him?” he whispered low. “Who?” Catherine drew her brows together, in confusion. Vincent could not even utter his name, “This new man?” Catherine knew what he meant, but refused to let him know that. He’d brought this on himself, he could jolly well explain what he meant. She told him, “I don’t understand Vincent. We’ll be working together. I’ll see him everyday.” “That’s not what I meant.” “Then what did you mean?” “Are you so intent on raking me over the coals Catherine.” “You started it Vincent”, her voice low, her eyes flashing, Vincent was left in little doubt of her annoyance. He shuffled uneasily, his arms ached to hold her, smooth away the pain, tell her it already hurt too much to continue with. How could he ever let her go, and to another man, no less? Catherine’s own heart ached. She wanted so much to ease his heartache, but Vincent had to realise just what it was he was pushing her into. After this night they may never see one another again if she were to seek the life for which he believed she had been born for. And it was not something she could foresee ever finding. Because she had already found her destiny. Yet Vincent believed it was still out there awaiting her, and she would be living it now, if their paths had not crossed. Vincent was shaking his head, his heart weighed heavy, he could not believe that she had at last agreed to do as he’d asked, and he looked into her eyes filled with defiance. So that was it! She was playing him at his own game. But it wasn’t a game. It was very real. And he had to make her see that. Taking a deep breath he asked her, “Will you spend time with this new man, see him after work?” For long moments Catherine did not know how to answer. It wasn’t something she had ever considered. Truly, there were no answers, and she wanted to scream, “Of course not...I love you...why would I want to see someone else?” But Vincent didn’t want to hear her say those things. He wanted to know that he had at last convinced her that her future lay Above with some other man, and not Below with him. For a few moments Catherine allowed herself to think about Daniel. He was nice, and then there was the attraction. Those compelling brown eyes, that delightful smile. And she could not help her own mouth form into a smile at the thought of him. How he had made her laugh that day. A man very much like Joe in every way, but with the added power of magnetism. Catherine had never felt drawn to Joe as she had felt drawn to Daniel. With a jolt it dawned on her....what if Vincent was right? If Vincent never altered his mind about their relationship, if there really were nothing but dreams for the two of them, then perhaps her future did lie Above after all. Vincent watched as the many expressions chased themselves across her face. He dared not search through their connection, afraid of what he might find, but as her silence persisted, he was unable to prevent himself, and was dismayed to find that she had closed down on their Bond, so that he could find no sense of her emotions. Why had she done that? Only moments before, she was giving him an insight into all that she felt. And that’s what had made the pain doubly unbearable. Vincent waited for her answer, the silence standing between them, heavy and strained, and only the gentle tapping on the pipes comforted him. It was a reliable sound, solid and safe, and Vincent wished he could be borne along on a message, never to have to be a part of the words that Catherine was summoning herself to utter, as finally she spoke. Just one word. One word that destroyed him. “Maybe” she whispered. Vincent’s eyes flew wide open with shock, his heart hammered painfully. Yet what had he expected? He had forced this upon her, so he only had himself to blame. Yet somehow, when he had been convinced that Catherine should pursue the life she were born for, and that he should make her see this, her acceptance in his dreams, had never been as painful as it was in reality. The thoughts ran riot through his mind, had he been wrong? Could he so easily give her up as he had thought? While he was thinking these things, Catherine was speaking again, and her words delivered the final blow, “If he asks me, then yes, maybe, I’ll date him.” And Vincent felt his whole world shatter. There were so many questions coming in on him, and he could not utter them. His head was reeling. Catherine searched his eyes, and an overwhelming desire to hold him close rushed fiercely over her, and she felt compelled to re-opened the Bond. Their connection was such a sure and steady thing. It told Vincent all her heart felt when words otherwise failed. Stunned, Vincent re-coiled beneath the weight of her emotions, and he didn’t know whether to rejoice or weep! He loved her, and she loved him, of that there was no doubt. But she had a life, and it didn’t include him. And if love was pure it sought not one’s own interests, but that of another. Vincent groaned, he had no choice, he had to let her go. Back to her world, Above. Without him. A low moan that travelled up and through him escaped Vincent, “I don’t want you to go Catherine....” he fell to his knees, beneath a weight too colossal to endure. Catherine was overjoyed, dropping to the floor also, reaching out to take him in her arms, telling him, “Then I won’t Vincent...I love you so much.” the words were choked from her, sobs caught in her throat, tears of joy and happiness. “No,” Vincent flung her arms away from around him, whispering brokenly, “You don’t understand. What I want or don’t want is unimportant. I have no rights Catherine, and I shall miss you, but you have to leave me....” He rose to his feet, summoning all his strength, “Its for the best”, the last words died on his lips. Resigning herself now to thein evitable Catherine told him, “I’ll miss you Vincent.” but unable to stop the tears from falling swiftly down her cheeks. Catherine stood up and moved away from him. What more was there to say? The only thing she could do was to try things his way after all. Suddenly a cold hard reason embedded itself within her heart. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps it was just a dream, and she was destined for better things after all. She’d had enough. Enough of the rejections, the self-denials, the waiting, the yearning, the hoping. Catherine had come as far as she could, begged as hard as she could, and still he had turned her away. But she couldn’t just never see him again. Of that she was certain. Maybe when it no longer hurt? Swallowing with difficulty, Catherine turned back to face him. He was leaning against the wall watching her warily. Managing a weak smile Catherine told him softly, “You taught me a lot of things Vincent. Made me believe in myself, and that was a treasure beyond price. You gave me courage when I had none. Now you must believe in all those same things. And when...when you are strong enough to cope, when the pain of our parting no longer tears you to shreds, then come to me Vincent, for I couldn’t bear to live a life without you in it. I need you.” the words caught in her throat, and Catherine turned, her footsteps quickening as she hurried away from him, unable to look back, unable to see him one last time. Breaking into a run Catherine rounded a corner out of Vincent’s sight, before stopping to lean against a wall, calming her racing heart, when suddenly it almost leapt out of her breast as the sound of Vincent’s anguished roar filled the tunnels, and sobbing, Catherine started to run again, faster and faster towards the threshold, blinded by her tears. *** *** *** The shrill of the alarm penetrated Catherine’s nightmare. And she was only too relieved as time provided the welcome escape that she needed. She had been on an island, surrounded on either side by crashing foaming waves, and her island was being swept away with nothing to cling to, and no one to help her. Far across the ocean, a tiny speck of green signified another island, a safe island, but there was no way of getting over to it. Death was imminent, and there was no one to save her anymore, never again could she be sure of being rescued, because the only person that could ever have done so was way over on that other island, safe yet alone. Within the grip of the nightmare, Catherine had heard herself screaming Vincent’s name hoping that the wind would carry it to him, let him know she was in danger, let him find a way to rescue her, knowing it was all in vain. Only the slim hope that maybe he could do something, kept her screaming his name into the wind, hoping he would hear her. As Catherine snuffed out the sound from the alarm clock, she didn’t think she had ever been so happy to hear it go off, and struggled to stay awake, lest she slipped back down into that terrible dream. For several moments she wondered what had sparked it off, and then as thoughts returned of the previous evening, Catherine groaned. Vincent! How would she ever get through her life without him? What had they done? Possibly severed the only chance either of them would have of finding happiness. The last thing Catherine could face that day was work, if she could ever again. Her heart cried out for Vincent, and she longed just to see him one more time. Crawling from the bed, Catherine slid down to the bedroom floor, leaning against the bed before getting to her feet, something she hadn’t done since she were a child. She didn’t really know why she had done it then, simply the thought of standing seemed too much for her limbs, which were feeling weaker by the minute, even now as she managed to stand and walk out into the lounge They had made a ghastly mistake, and in the cold light of day, Catherine knew that now. All the things she had told Vincent filled her mind, and Catherine swayed as she moaned softly, closing her eyes. How would she ever get used to not having him near her? Tears squeezed beneath her lids, forcing her eyes open, and Catherine crossed to the balcony window, to stare out at the park below. The desire to go to him was overwhelming, to have his arms around her, to strengthen her, just one last time. If they were going to do this, they would need to see one another from time to time, just to fortify one another to remain firm, to remain strong, to keep the over-riding problem in perspective, until it became a problem no more. For Catherine could not believe that there would ever be anyone for her but Vincent, and she had to make him see this, had to show him that even being back in the social world again, free to date other men, she still belonged only to him. Would always do, and nothing anyone might do or say would change that. Catherine knew without a doubt that she had to make Vincent believe that her happy life lay with him and him alone. Donning her clothing, and drinking a glass of fresh juice in a hurry, Catherine left her apartment, and headed towards the park. She needed him, there was no two ways about it, she had to see him, feel his arms around her, try to make him see that last night was a mistake, all the words spoken were wrong, untrue, and they should not be hurting one another like this. The wind whipped itself around Catherine’s feet and bit into her face and hands as she hurried to be out of its bite, towards the drainage tunnel, grateful when at last she reached it, and walked into the dimness beyond. Expecting to find Vincent waiting there, the smile of welcome died on her lips to find the tunnel empty, and for a few minutes undecided Catherine wondered what to do. She circled the floor several times, her boots kicking up the dust, swirling in little folds at her feet, until mind made up, she pulled the lever mechanism that opened the door, and gasped to find Vincent on its other side. For long moments they stared at one another, expressions fathom-less, hearts pounding and Vincent was the first to speak. “Why have you come here Catherine?” ‘Was that Vincent? His voice so cold and unfeeling?’ Catherine re-coiled by the tone of his voice, and could not find an answer. Tears formed in her eyes, and she turned to brush them away. Her lips trembled as she told him, “I had to see you Vincent?” “Why? We have said all there has to be said last night, don’t you remember?” Catherine felt as if he had lashed her. “Vincent!” the name caught in her throat along with a sob, “I need you, please just hold me Vincent.” For long moments Vincent stared at her, his blue eyes penetrating right down into her soul, until she heard him whisper, “Its finished Catherine. Go live your life.” “No!” she whimpered, “Please Vincent, we can resolve this. I love you.” Vincent touched the lever alongside the door, and Catherine watched in horror as it slid back to its place, closing him off from her, separating everything they had shared. Her body shook with sobs, tremendous heart rending sobs, that filled the air, and echoed within the tunnel. And she wanted to just curl up and die. On the other side of the door, Vincent felt her pain, heard her cries, and knew that what he had just done had broken her in two. It had been the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life. But he had to make her see, that the dream had ended, and her coming back so soon, would only start it all over again. They had made the break, and it was for the best, right now she could not see that, but one day, when she had met someone, then she would, then she would thank him for having the strength to see it through. Nonetheless as he walked slowly back towards the home chambers, he left his heart behind with Catherine, feeling it wrenched away from him with every step he took, and he knew without a doubt that it would never belong to him again. Via their connection Catherine cried out to him, unable to believe he had shut her out like he had, determined she could bring him back by infusing all her love into him. But try as she might, she knew that he had closed down very firmly on their Bond, and she could not get through to him. She knew why he was doing it of course. Being cruel to be kind. And it must be hurting him dreadfully. In a curious kind of way that thought relieved her, to know how disturbed he must feel to have turned his back on her. It would not be something he would forget quickly, it would probably grieve him for a long time. This saddened Catherine even more than her own heartache moments earlier, Vincent had already suffered enough grief in his life without adding more to it. ‘All right Vincent’ Catherine spoke aloud, ‘If that’s the way it has to be, then so be it’. Only she couldn’t bear him to suffer and knew that he would. Reaching for the door mechanism again, Catherine pulled back the iron grating when the door had slid back, and stepping beyond, closed the door behind her. Once inside she found a convenient pipe, and finding a stone, she tapped out a message. Bond or no Bond, she would make him hear her. Striding away blinded by the tears that filled his eyes, Vincent stopped when he heard his name rattling upon the sound system of the underground world. At first he felt a surge of anger that Catherine had persisted, until he listened with intent and sighed “I still don’t approve, but I do understand. Thank you Vincent. Be Well. Catherine.’ A half smile twitched at his lips, as a flood of relief swept through his limbs, and Vincent closed his eyes. Happy now that Catherine had understood how hard that had been for him, made him love her all the more, and though he knew that her message was intended to bring him relief, it started to add to his pain, as he realised just what he had lost. Catherine was a remarkable woman, with much love to give, she had courage, and warmth and an inner strength that bound him to her. And yet for all that he had sent her away, convinced she would be better off following her destiny, the life for which she had been born, knowing that this life did not include him. And Vincent had never felt such pain in all of his life. *** *** *** Back at her apartment, Catherine paced up and down, unsure of the way ahead, only knowing that she felt entirely alone, and could not begin to visualise life without Vincent in it. To think that never more would he come to her on her balcony, but she didn’t doubt that he would stand in the park night after night looking up at her window. Never more would they walk hand in hand through dusty tunnels, talking and laughing, loving being beside one another, looking forward to the few snatched hours to spend together, though she didn’t doubt that when Vincent walked there alone now, he would not think of those times. Everything each would do from now on, would remind them of the other, there would never be any peace for either of them, until Vincent could be made to see that his belief was ungrounded. For despite what Vincent had told her, they belonged together, like two halves of a whole and apart, they would always feel incomplete. It was a terrible sadness that washed over Catherine, a sorrow so deep she didn’t think she would ever get out of it. Leaning her forehead against the cold glass of the window, Catherine continued to look out over the park, ‘ why couldn’t he see, that beneath the emerald blades, was her home too?’ The apartment was just a building, just a place to eat and sleep, to shelter from the wind, while Below was home to her, and countless others who in one way or another had been healed there. Catherine felt a sob rising and catching in her throat, ‘Oh Vincent’ she moaned softly, ‘why are things never simple? Why can you not see that I need you so? I love you Vincent, so much, you are everything to me. Everything, and I will never love any other but you?’ And as she heard herself say them, Catherine thought about those words. Really gave consideration to them. Last night she had firmly believed that if she could do as Vincent asked and show him how wrong he was, he would let her back into his life, and things would move forward between them, because his argument against such a move would be groundless. Catherine sighed, resigning herself to the inevitable, ‘All right Vincent Wells’ she spoke out loud, ‘let’s play the game your way. I’ll show you that we are meant to be together, you’ll see, and when you do, you will let me back into your life and nothing will ever part us again.’ Resolved in her heart, Catherine felt better. She looked at her watch, it was gone eleven. Whatever would Joe think of her! Picking up the telephone Catherine dialled the familiar number, speaking as it was answered, “Joe, Hi, its Cathy, sorry Joe I overslept I’ll be in as soon as possible.” “We wondered what had happened to you. Are you sure you are all right Cathy, take the rest of the day if you like.” “Thanks Joe, but I’ll be in, can’t set a bad impression for Daniel can I?” Joe laughed, “I doubt very much you could do that if you tried. Hell Cathy I don’t know if I should have taken him on, now I have another rival for your affections. He’s done nothing but talk about you all morning.” Catherine was quiet for some moments. If there was something Vincent was convinced of, it was the fact that she would have been better off with either Elliot or Joe, and Catherine made a snap decision. The faster she taught Vincent he was wrong the better, and she heard herself say, “Then perhaps you had better jump in ahead of him Joe.” There was utter silence at the end of the line, and Catherine heard herself laugh, “Joe are you still there?” After a time, he replied, “I’m here, Cathy. Just recovering from shock. Do you mean what I think you mean?” It was hard for Catherine to acknowledge the question, still uncertain of what she was doing. Playing games with other people’s affections in order to achieve her goal was a bad move, perhaps she would be better to explain herself a little. “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression Joe, but right now I could do with a friend, and I’ve appointed you.” Still unsure, Joe could only manage, “Look Cathy, don’t come to the office I’ll come over to you. Are you sure you are all right, not bumped your head or anything?” Catherine’s gay laughter drifted down the connection, “Joe, I’m fine, honestly. Tell you what I’ll get ready for work and you pick me up at lunch time, I’ll come into work for the afternoon.” “All right Cathy.” Joe’s voice sounded strange, filled with uncertainty, as they said their goodbyes, and Catherine put down the receiver. With Joe, beginning over would be easy, he was a friend, and he had wanted to date her for ages, it was only fair that she gave him a chance, besides he was a really nice guy, and at least it would show Vincent she was trying things his way. Nonetheless, Catherine found herself pressing her flushed face against the cool glass of the balcony door again, looking out over the park with wistful eyes trying to convince herself as she whispered. ‘Right then Chandler, so begins your future, may it turn out as you wish.’ before brushing away the silent tears that fell swiftly down her cheeks. center>*** *** *** To be continued in Part Two.