As Soft Wings Unfold Chapter Eight For long moments after William had left her apartment Catherine had sat staring out into space, her heart bleeding. What was worse was being able to feel Vincent’s distress, and Catherine didn’t know what to say to make him feel any better. It was true that her own maternal need had lessened somewhat since she had become mother to Rachel, but Vincent she knew would have liked his own child if it had not of been for passing on his genetic code to a descendant. The evening planned with such precision, and culminating in the most wonderful experience of her life was now ruined. It lay before her chard like some burnt out shell and left a bitter taste in her mouth. Vincent felt her distress but misconstrued the reason behind it. Catherine was a woman with much love to give, and he had fooled himself into believing that he could give her enough so that she wouldn’t regret the decision to remain childless. He felt cold inside. His joy of moments earlier dashed to a million pieces. He too stared out into space, to an empty void where he could not meet her eyes. His voice when it finally came was barren, empty of all feeling. “Catherine, we have to resolve this.” Catherine turned her head slowly. Her neck felt stiff and her movements were stunted. She moved as if in a dream. She could not speak. Her eyes were hollow, lifeless and she could barely nod in acquiesce. Vincent moved to fold her hands within his. He recoiled as he touched her fingers. They were icy. His heart died a little bit more. Catherine was momentarily surprised by the warmth of his hands a warmth that seeped through her tendons, and seemed to release some of the tension in her body. She felt herself thawing and knew the precise moment when the feeling returned to her stiff joints. Mentally a thought passed through her mind of people attacked by arthritis after receiving some kind of shock and she could appreciate that now. “I’m so sorry Vincent.” The words were out of her mouth without realisation of it. Vincent crumpled before her. His mind raced. For what was she apologising? Had she changed her mind about marrying him? He knew that he squeezed her hands in an attempt to offer some kind of comfort but the feeling was lost to him. He seemed to act from far away as if his body had been caught up with the clouds and he moved and felt through a density of which there was no escape. But Catherine was speaking again, and through the fog he picked up on her sincerity if not her choice of words. “What did you say?” He felt foolish having to ask. The corners of Catherine’s mouth lifted, forming into a slight smile. She was smiling! Vincent felt astonishment that she could. “Was it so unbelievable my love?” This time he heard the words, but did not understand the content, that to which they related. Vincent shook his head; “No it wasn’t that. I confess to being so far away that I never heard you the first time.” He was amazed that he had the strength to utter so many words and in the right order too. His tongue felt like cotton wool in his mouth. Catherine smiled again, this time the light of it caught her eyes, and Vincent was spellbound. “I know how much you want a child of your own Vincent, but I also understand the risks involved.” Vincent ‘s mouth dropped open, it was not quite what he had expected Catherine to say and Catherine was smiling again. “Vincent?” she enquired. He didn’t know how to answer. It wasn’t something that they had ever discussed neither was it ever something he had allowed himself the luxury of consideration. Until he met Catherine, even love was something he had never dared to share with a woman, let alone have a child with her. Catherine was awaiting his answer with an enigmatic look upon her face. Her hands within his untangled themselves so that she could squeeze comfort into him now. Vincent looked down at their clasped hands. Hers so silky smooth, his so lethal with his long claws and coarse fur. He tried to withdraw them. What right had his hands next to hers? What right had he to come here and offer her a life with him? How could he do that to her? To take her from the world above and expect that she would share a life with him deep in the bowels of the earth? When he thought about it, it was almost laughable if it hadn’t been so downright traumatic. He had no right to presume such things! He stared at her face. Such beauty shone from there. Her eyes were filled with a suppressed laughter, obviously deriving immense pleasure from his passive expression. How could he take such beauty from the world Above? How could he deprive the weak and the lowly from the help that her hands brought them? Those eyes and hands touched him now, and Vincent knew he would forever be lost in their wondrous depths and their remarkable aptitude for healing. If he never saw Catherine again in body he would forever feel the touch of her eyes and her hands in spirit. They alone had given him such happiness. And an immeasurable joy that he would forever be indebted to. His mind was filled with raging thoughts that galloped one upon the other and threatened to engulf him. Only Catherine’s lifesaving hands and eyes held him from insanity, and helped him to put the moment into some kind of perspective. But still the one thought persisted, and as he thought of these things he knew he’d be lost without her. There is something in my sadness which you touch with your eyes, Something in my aloneness which reaches your soul, And is held close in your arms. ,br> When I am afraid in a night that never ends I come to you in my darkness and you give me your hands. You touch me with the fingertips of your strength, And my pillow becomes your breast And the night becomes your arms. ,br> I know that I am safe, that I am loved, that I will never be alone, For there is no darkness when I am with you. Only in Catherine had the darkened corners of his soul been brightened. He owed her so much, but to take her from the world? How could he even expect that he had the right to do so? And to expect that one with so much love to give could agree to spend endless years with him without even the merest hope of a child to come. Vincent looked at his Catherine long and hard. He had presumed too much. In all of this he had presumed that their love would conquer all the sacrifices that had to be made, but he had been wrong. For those sacrifices were worth their weight in gold and as such the loss of such treasure would eventually become tainted until the sparkle had faded, never to return. Vincent could not do that to Catherine. He could not bear to see her long for something that could never be and know that she was not to blame for that. Neither could he deny her the right to a child of her own, any more than he could allow himself the joy of knowing it for himself. Deep down Vincent knew that Catherine had uncovered the secret yearning of his heart, a yearning which even he had no knowledge of because it was impossible to believe. He would never father a child for he could never place that risk upon another person ever. “It is I who is sorry.” He spoke at last in response to her statement. She had patiently waited while he had fought the battle within himself. “Catherine, I can never agree to giving you my child.” With those words said he had expected to see sadness etched in fine lines across her beautiful features. He expected her eyes to cloud over and fill with tears. He expected her to deny the fact and argue with him. He did not expect to see her smile, nor for that smile to light up her eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore Vincent. Not for me. Don’t you see? In Rachel I have everything. It is for you that I grieve. For one who has so much to give you can never give to your own. Vincent…” she drew his hands back into hers, “I love you so much and to give you a child of your own well that would be the icing on the cake as far as I am concerned, but Vincent I know your fears, and those fears are grounded. Sometimes whatever the sacrifice, the rewards still come. Peace of mind Vincent. Peace of mind that no one ever again has to undergo the trials you faced or to know the aloneness of being different.” Her words penetrated the fog that surrounded him like tiny spears that burst through the pain that had settled around his heart. Everything suddenly melted away. All the doubts, all the fears and sorrows melted away. Vincent breath came out in short sharp bursts, and filling his lungs again with air became a literal fight that could only be conquered by Catherine giving him another squeeze of her hands. “My love you are right… We have to resolve this, because we must never let it destroy what we have. Come let us retire to the sofa and settle there and talk frankly about this.” Catherine pushed back her chair, never letting go of his hands, and walked around the table still holding them tightly. He felt a gentle tug and relinquished his desire to remain where he was, to allow her to lead him as passive as a lamb towards the sofa. There they sat side by side, and Vincent felt an overwhelming rush of love as Catherine snuggled into his shoulder. Only then did their hands part so that he could place one arm around her shoulders and hold her closer still. “I’m still going to marry you Vincent.” His body liquefied at her words. For split seconds he remembered a paragraph in one of Father’s medical journals, and expelled a breath of humour that he could. The body is 70% water and without skin to hold it in one would flow straight off one’s seat. Right now he could relate to that and he felt he would always remember that feeling when he thought of that from now on. Encouraged by his humour, Catherine hugged him harder. “Do you feel like discussing this now Vincent?” she asked gently. “Yes. For long enough we have skirted around it. You know how I feel and I presume to know how you feel, but neither of us has really sat and discussed those reasons of for and against having a child between us.” “I understand the problem Vincent, truly I do, and only you can know the pain of being different. Of being the only one like you in the world.” Catherine’s voice trailed away, she understood those facts she really did, but still to her it didn’t matter, because she loved him, and she would cherish a child in his image. “Tell you what Catherine, we will both talk about ourselves and how having or not having a child between us would make us feel, does that sound fair to you?” Catherine nodded, “Then let’s start with the positive reasons, you go first.” Vincent leaned his head back against the sofa, and closed his eyes. “It’s not something I have ever considered…” he spoke softly keeping his eyes tightly closed, “but if I were to do so…” he sat forward again opening his eyes, “Oh Catherine to have a child with you, there are no words to describe how that would make me feel.” “Try one.” He smiled so beautifully at that moment that the sight almost broke her heart. Such tenderness shone through those intense blue eyes. He was right, there were no words, but his look conveyed every wonderful word in the universe. He spread his hands; “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” “I understand Vincent. I believe that you have the same feelings as I do on the matter. The thought of having a child in the image of the one that you love is so delightful that it makes you feel all gooey and cuddly inside.” Vincent smiled, laughing a little. “Of all the delightful words that there are Catherine, those that you just used convey the feeling totally. I fully agree. The thought of fathering a child born in your image makes me feel exactly as you have described.” “And to hold in my arms a baby with a face and hands exactly like yours makes me feel the same way Vincent. I have dreamed of that for so long.” “I know you have. That’s what makes all this so traumatic, I have felt those yearnings in you for a long time now.” “It’s probably my age and my hormones.” Catherine attempted humour that didn’t quite ring true. “Don’t be brave for my sake Catherine. If you think that you could never get over those feelings best that we…” “Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say it Vincent. Not again, never ever again. I’m going to marry you, I’m going to give up my life Above to be with you, don’t deny me that Vincent, I love you so much.” For long moments both fell silent, then Catherine amazed Vincent and even herself by stating sincerely, “I can live without having a child Vincent, but I can’t live without you.” They were miserable for a time, each lost in tragic impossibilities but they came through it because they shared a connection that both calmed and strengthened them. “So, the question now is, are we tough enough to discuss the negative reasons.” Catherine attempted a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Vincent nodded and rubbed a hand across his temples. His head ached. It matched his heart. “Try as I might Vincent, I cannot think of a single one. I’m sorry my love but the ball’s in your court here.” Catherine felt his distress, not only through the bond but also from the way his body tensed beside her, and a deep sigh escaped him as he started to speak. “To have a child like me…” he changed direction, “Catherine try to understand the way of things please. I was abandoned…” Catherine tried to interrupt, she would never abandon his child… “No Catherine let me continue, please.” He pleaded with her and she grew silent again letting him speak, knowing it was already difficult for him to do so. “For whatever reason Catherine my mother abandoned me. Perhaps that wasn’t her choice; perhaps even someone took me from her and thought they knew better. Perhaps my mother never saw me, perhaps someone told her that I had died. Whatever the reason the fact remains the same, I was abandoned, and not just abandoned, but left out in the snow to die. I don’t know how I was created. Once you asked, and once I told you that I had ideas. Not a day goes by without one of those ideas reminding me. I may have been a scientific experiment. I read a book once called First Born. It was about a man who artificially inseminated his own seed with that of a gorilla. The child lived and grew to adulthood, though he had to have an operation to enable him to speak. And though he looked entirely human he had the traits of the gorilla, and in the end his own mother, the gorilla killed him. That story rocked me for some years. I know the difference between fact and fiction Catherine. I know when a writer creates something in his or her mind and puts it to paper. But it causes one to wonder how much of that written word is based on fact, or how much of that written word will put ideas into the mind of the reader. Somewhere out there, maybe not even in America; someone holds the secret to my being born. For whatever reason someone meddled with nature I do not know, maybe I will never know. That in itself causes a frustration that unless you have experienced it you can never hope to comprehend. Many of the children that have come and gone through our world throughout the years have expressed an aptitude to understand this feeling. Those that were abandoned at birth feel in a kind of limbo. Having nowhere to truly belong. There is a great truth in the expression of being alone in a crowd Catherine. Having no knowledge of a beginning, of relatives or a family can leave you living in a kind of void. There is nothing solid to hold on to, and for all the love that you receive you never really feel that you belong. But being different Catherine adds another perspective to all of that, sometimes I truly feel as though I am all alone in the whole world.” Vincent paused collecting his thoughts surprised that his inner heart had uttered so much already. For some reason he felt slightly light-headed and realised it was because the weight of a thousand unseen hands that in the past had ground him down were at last lifting from his shoulders as he spoke from the heart. Catherine had listened throughout, occasionally wiping away a fallen tear, but silent now allowing him to set his own pace. “Whoever created me obviously did so with the aid of the seed of a big cat, a lion. Sometimes I wonder about that a lot. Generally speaking lionesses have large litters. Was my mother a human being or was she a lioness, as with the gorilla in First Born? If she were a lioness or even if she wasn’t then had my mother been artificially inseminated with more than one embryo, and if she had then were there others that survived? Could it be that whomsoever delivered the babies handed to my mother the children that resembled humans and took me away so that she and the rest of the world may never know? So often I have wondered this. So often I wonder if one day some person will unwittingly give birth to a genetic abnormality and find that instead of looking into the face of a new born child, they look into the face of a lion cub.” Catherine gasped then; she was beginning to see where he was headed. “None of these things may ever come to pass, because it may be possible that there is only one of me and that I was the only one born from such an experiment. This fills me with a sense of hope. If I am the only one in the world like me, then it can end here. No woman in a hundred years from now will be stunned into insanity by giving birth to a child with the face of a lion, and that alone brings me a sense of relief. Even if I was to think only of the good times, the joy I have experienced, especially since coming to know you, none of it was without cost because of the darkness I endured to gain the light and I would not wish that on my worst enemy. If ever I had one. If I were to consider bringing into this world a child of my own I would have to consider other things, other possibilities relating to the very fact of my creation. Catherine…” He turned to face her then, no longer staring openly into space as he had throughout, “Remember the saying that the sea always reclaims its own. One day my love the safe sanctuary of our underground home may not exist. If the sea were to reclaim the land then the tunnels would be flooded. No amount of love ever bestowed upon a different child would then suffice in view of being confronted with the sea of humanity or the literal water itself. If a child of ours or even a descendant of ours should be faced with nowhere to go, what then would become of them? Could we, allow ourselves the joy of parenthood for a few years in view of those future risks to another? I know I couldn’t allow that to happen Catherine and I’m sure that you couldn’t either. And it’s not just that, maybe the sea would never reclaim its own, and maybe these tunnels will last forever, or maybe another man like Elliot Burch will come along and risk their existence with another dream.” Catherine winced, and Vincent held her tighter kissing the top of her head sorry to have to remind her of that time. “Even if none of those things occurred, there is still another greater possibility, that must never be overlooked my Catherine. Some time in the future a child of ours whether he or she looked like me or not would risk for love the chance of a child of their own. They might undergo the same discussion we are enduring right now. Or perhaps they wouldn’t. Perhaps they would disregard the risks and hope against all the odds that they would create a perfect child. And imagine his or her relief to bring forth a child that did not look like his predecessor. Years may pass, centuries perhaps and in time someone may forget or choose to forget, and some day the genetic fingerprint will surface, as it always does eventually, that made me what I am. Perhaps that is even how I came into being; perhaps the creation of myself was moulded centuries ago. Catherine my being here is nothing short of a miracle for those that know me, but for someone that has to live with that fact daily it is a burden I would wish never to pass onto another living soul. In view of all this Catherine tell me please that you understand my reasons against having a child of my own.” Catherine nodded, she understood perfectly, she knew of an example and that helped. “I was at school with a fair skinned girl whose parents were also fair skinned. She had fair skinned grandparents on both sides, who in turn had fair skinned ancestors as far back as the eye could see. I can remember the excitement that little girl felt to know that her mother was expecting a baby brother or sister. I remember it well because I was an only child and could relate to her feeling of excitement with a sorrow of my own. One day not long before the baby was due, the girl stopped coming to school and I never saw her again.” “What happened to her?” “Her parents split up and they moved to other parts of America taking the girl from school with the father. For many years I did not know why, nor cared to know why, but I always wondered whether the baby had been a girl or a boy. For many years I thought of it until one day I found out. It was Jenny that told me. Funny that how things come full circle. I didn’t know Jenny at that particular time in my life, but later when I came to know her she mentioned this family and the details fitted. Apparently the child had been born with black skin and the man had divorced his wife for an adultery that she denied. His wife swore that she had not slept with any other man, and he never believed her. Imagine that Vincent, it could drive a person crazy. So the wife delved into her past and much to her horror and subsequent relief she discovered that centuries ago one of the family’s male ancestors had been a Negro slave from Africa and had been bought by a white man to work on his plantation. That man’s wife had had sexual relations with the slave without her husband’s knowledge and luckily for her had produced a white skinned child. It was incredible, but she saw it as an answer to her prayers, and allowed her husband to believe the child was his. Otherwise she would have been whipped to death for adultery. She had kept the secret until upon her deathbed when she gave a letter to her lawyer and asked him to file it away and have it handed down to generation upon generation until such time that someone may start asking unusual questions. And that was as long as hundreds of years later. So you see Vincent I understand exactly what you are saying, and believe it or not in view of that, I agree with you wholeheartedly.” Vincent hugged her, “So we are as one accord on this matter, but it does not alter the fact that you are deprived of having a child of your own. Something for which your heart yearns.” “Once perhaps…” her words were cut short by a loud hammering on her door, followed by a voice they both recognised; “Vincent, Catherine, it’s William, you must go Below at once. Something has happened to Rachel.” He said no more as the door swung open, a hand shot out and an arm dragged William inside closing the door behind him. “What?” Catherine was frantic. Quickly William outlined the problem. The colour drained from Catherine’s face. “I’ll meet you at the park gates Catherine. “ Vincent told her already heading for the balcony. “Yes, yes.” Catherine agreed reaching for her coat. William noticed his soufflé still untouched upon the table. It filled him with sadness. So whatever had transpired between them after he had left obviously hadn’t given them an appetite then. William was filled with foreboding as he followed Catherine from the apartment and knowing the sight that yet awaited her Below he suddenly felt cold all over. *** *** *** Rachel hadn’t moved from the same spot when Catherine and then Vincent burst in through the chamber entrance, and Rachel’s slight smile was replaced with fear as she saw first Catherine and then Vincent enter. “No, no”, she cowered further into the corner as Vincent approached, “Go away.” Her voice shrilled. Stunned Vincent stopped dead, as Catherine cast him a look of sheer horror over her shoulder and stooping down in front of Rachel, Catherine attempted to gather the child into her arms, but Rachel backed away, whispering, “Tell him to go,” her eyes wide with fear. Mouse still hovered to one side looking immensely guilty and Catherine turned to face him, “What have you said?” her voice rose to fever pitch, “Mouse look what you’ve done.” Mouse remained silent quietly shaking as William came through the entrance, “I’ll tell you what he’s done.” He shouted angrily advancing on Mouse. Rachel screamed “No don’t hurt him, he’s my friend.” She shook and the tears flowed relentlessly. “Your friends!” William bellowed, then more softly, “Honey, real friends don’t go around frightening one another.” Rachel remained silent but still she looked warily in Vincent’s direction. Catherine glanced at him with sadness evident in her eyes, at the same time beseeching him silently through the Bond to leave them alone. Vincent turned and without a word left. Turning her attention back to Rachel Catherine reached out a hand, “Come sweetheart tell me what is all this about. I thought you liked Vincent?” “I did.” The child murmured. “I’ll go see if Vincent is all right” William left the chamber, but Catherine did not acknowledge his exit. She felt torn knowing how Vincent would be feeling, and also wanting to understand the changes Rachel had towards him. “What did you say to her Mouse?” Catherine turned in the direction she had last seen Mouse, but he too had gone. Exasperated, Catherine edged closer to Rachel but the child edged further away, “No leave me alone.” She begged as the tears gathered momentum. Catherine felt her tears prick at the back of her own lids, “Rachel please I love you, please let me hold you, tell me why you fear Vincent so?” Rachel hesitated. It was not the first time she had heard Catherine say that she loved her, but it was the first time that she believed it. A little fluttering started inside like small butterflies taking to flight. Rachel liked the feeling, it warmed her through and through. A smile touched the corners of her mouth and she relented a little, edging back towards Catherine. Rejoicing Catherine reached out for Rachel, allowing the child to come at her own pace all the while speaking consolingly to her, until Rachel finally allowed Catherine to gather her into her arms and hold her there tightly. Catherine let the tears fall, tears of joy, tears of anguish knowing how Vincent hurt through their connection. Reaching Rachel was the first step, reaching Vincent was yet another to be accomplished, she knew how he would take this to heart. “Please Rachel tell me, why are you afraid of Vincent? He loves you too.” A shudder went through Rachel’s slender body; she seemed incapable of believing that. “It’s true.” Catherine told her tenderly, “We both love you, and Vincent has asked me to marry him, so he can become your father.” Rachel drew back in Catherine’s arms, a smile broke forth and her eyes took on a new light, “Did he give you the ring?” Catherine’s face broke into a smile, a somewhat watery smile, “You knew?” Rachel nodded delighted. “You knew?” Catherine reiterated, “And you never said anything?” “It was a secret.” Rachel told her solemnly “ I promised Vincent I would keep it.” Catherine hugged her harder, “Oh Rachel I love you.” She told the child sincerely, making Rachel glow all over, until a slight shudder spoiled her equilibrium. “What is it?” Catherine asked concerned. “Vincent gets angry and bites and uses his claws.” She shuddered as the fear consumed her once again. Catherine frowned, “Who told you that? Mouse?” “Yes.” “And why did Mouse tell you that?” Though William had already told her she wanted to hear it from Rachel. “Because he said Vincent would be angry with me and Arthur.” “Vincent would never be angry with you. He never gets angry with any of the children.” “But he does bite and scratch sometimes?” “Only to protect those he loves. He would never hurt you Rachel or me, or Father or any of his friends here Below.” “Then who would he hurt?” “If someone from Above tried to hurt you or anyone that Vincent cares about then he would get angry and hurt them back, but only then, and not unless he really had no other choice. It isn’t something Vincent enjoys doing. He doesn’t even like to roar or growl if he can help it.” “Have you ever seen him hurt anyone?” “Yes, but only when he was protecting me.” “Like Vinny would protect me?” “Yes like that.” Rachel fell quiet for a time assimilating these things while Catherine held her tight and tried to rub the tension out of Rachel’s body by gently caressing her back and shoulders and stroking her hair. “Is he loud?” Rachel asked at last. “Loud? What do you mean, Honey?” “When Vincent roars, is he loud?” Catherine smiled, “He can be.” “Does he frighten you?” “Not anymore. When I first heard him, it sent shivers through me, but I love Vincent and eventually I found that the sounds that he makes are just a part of him different to me. Just as Vincent can roar I can scream. Vincent can’t scream and I can’t roar. It’s just another sound that we each express when in fear of someone. Or to bring help.” “I used to scream when daddy….” Her words caught on a sob. Catherine was both fearful and jubilant. It was the first time since before the court case that Rachel had spoken about her past in any detail. “It’s all right, Honey you can tell me.” Catherine coaxed. Rachel drew a deep breath, “I thought mummy would come and help me if I screamed, but she never came and daddy hurt me more when I screamed and no one ever heard me.” She sobbed as Catherine rocked her all the while making soothing sounds to calm her. Catherine’s heart ached. “You must never be afraid anymore Rachel, there is no one to hurt you anymore, and if you should scream here for any reason at all someone will always come.” “Promise?” Rachel sobbed into Catherine’s chest. “Yes I promise, would you like to try it?” Rachel looked up, nodding, her eyes still swam with tears but there was hope in their depths. “Do people come if Vincent roars?” “If they don’t know why, then yes. Vincent might be in pain, and it is his way of crying as well as being angry.” A sudden thought passed by Catherine followed by hope, “Would you like to hear Vincent roar?” Wide-eyed Rachel stared up at her, nodding shyly, a slight smile curving her mouth. “Let’s go and find him shall we?” Catherine prepared to stand, pulling Rachel up with her, delighted when the child took her hand and hurried out of the chamber. “Where will he be?” Rachel asked excitedly. “Probably in his chamber, but there’s no telling. Vincent was hurting when he left us, he might have gone somewhere to be by himself.” “I’m sorry.” Rachel spoke softly. Catherine marvelled that one so young who had gone through so much terror in her young life could feel regret over causing another to hurt and to recognise when she had. “You can tell Vincent that, he will be happy to hear it I think.” Catherine told her and through a somewhat watery expression Rachel smiled tremulously. Vincent wasn’t in his chamber, nor was he in Father’s or at the mirror pool. Catherine tapped out a message on the pipes asking if anyone had seen him. William replied back saying he had left Vincent intending to go to the Great Falls. Catherine tapped back and without telling Rachel she also issued a message that she wanted to speak to someone before she sought Vincent out. Father replied to her message. He had been visiting Cullen and would be returning to his chamber, Catherine tapped back that she would leave a written message for him inside him chamber. The need for this was purposeful. She didn’t want to frighten the tunnel dwellers when they heard her screaming or Vincent roaring, but wanted for Rachel’s sake to have someone run towards the sound, plus she didn’t want Vincent to know of this request until she had first spoken to him about it. The message written and left on Father’s table, Catherine felt better, and then hand in hand with Rachel, the two set off towards the Great Waterfall. *** *** *** Sitting upon the ledge with his head bowed low Vincent saw rather than felt his tears falling as they hit the dusty floor between his bent knees. He had no feelings at all surrounding him, and the only awareness he did have was a heaviness of heart and his mind was void of thoughts and feelings as coldness seeped into his bones rendering him almost incapable of breathing. He almost didn’t hear the approaching footsteps, and only turned at the very last when his eye caught a movement to one side of him. Catherine moved silently, her hand clasped tightly to Rachel’s, stunning Vincent into awareness more at the sight of the child than to Catherine herself. That Rachel came willingly gave him cause for exultation, as his heart thumped painfully in his chest, the exertion of which caused his breath to gush forth in a great sound of relief. “Vincent.” Catherine acknowledged his presence; “We have something we wish to ask you.” Vincent nodded, warily, something in her tone making it so. “It would seem that Mouse frightened Rachel by telling her that you can growl and roar when you get angry.” Catherine almost couldn’t look into his eyes. She knew how he hated references made to his non-human side. ”Yes.” Vincent’s reply was almost inaudible. “I explained to Rachel that some people would scream when they were hurt or angry, but you roar because, because…” Catherine could find no words to explain and was loath to say the obvious. Vincent however was not, “Different.” He finished for her on an exasperated sigh. Weakly Catherine nodded, still unable to meet his eyes, “Yes different.” They lapsed into silence for some moments each fighting with the words to express themselves, each trying desperately to alleviate the pain. “It’s what I am.” Vincent said at last, “No matter how you word it, I am different, perhaps too different, from you.” He added sorrowfully. Catherine’s eyes rose to meet his then, “No Vincent!” she stepped forth almost dragging Rachel with her, “You know I don’t believe that.” Vincent shook his head. He wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. Rachel’s reaction to him had been a bitter blow, especially in light of her firm acceptance to him from the very beginning. “What have you come here to say?” Vincent spoke quietly as another silence descended and he could feel Catherine’s anxiety through the Bond. “I was telling Rachel that when you, you…” she shook her head, mad at herself for being unable to voice words which had to be said, but would only slap Vincent’s differences into his face. This time Vincent did not come to her aid, and she looked at him desperately pleading for his help. Instead he looked away. Exasperated Catherine tried to tackle it another way. “Vincent?” he would not look up. Looking from one to the other Rachel felt their distress, and felt very sad knowing she had caused it, she desperately wanted to do something or say something to help. Holding onto Catherine’s hand, she stared at Vincent, saw the silent tears falling and her young heart went out to him and suddenly she became the protector, the healer now. Letting go of Catherine’s hand, Rachel walked the short distance to Vincent’s side. Draping her arms around his neck she buried her face into his shoulder and small sobs escaped her, “I’m sorry.” She sobbed, “I love you Vincent.” Closing his eyes to the sound of her words Vincent felt his whole body react to her love, and swiftly draped his arm around the child’s waist drawing her close to his side before turning her onto his lap. Rachel clung to him and her small sobs hiccuped to a halt when she felt him kiss the top of her head, “I love you too.” He told her sincerely. Gingerly Rachel took courage and told him, “Catherine said you could roar but couldn’t scream, and that she could scream but couldn’t roar.” A half smile graced her mouth as an impish glint filled her eyes. Vincent caught the glint and reacted to it. “Says who?” he asked her, “I could scream if I wanted to do.” Rachel’s eyes lit up, “Could you?” “Prove it.” Catherine joined in the humour. This is just what she had hoped for and she wasn’t about to let the chance pass by. A mischievous glint filled the blue of Vincent’s eyes, and he rose to the challenge on condition, “Only if you prove you can roar.” He told Catherine with laughter in his voice. “I didn’t know I’d said I could.” Catherine told him. “Oh go on Catherine, try please.” Rachel begged. Catherine relented, “Only if you try too.” She told Rachel. Rachel needed no second bidding, “Grrrr.” She cried, making both Catherine and Vincent laugh out loud. “No” said Vincent, “That’s not the way. Try it louder.” Rachel happily obeyed, “GRRRR”, she shouted causing an echo around the chamber of the falls. “Now you do it.” Catherine asked Vincent. “No, ladies first. I insist.” He looked at her. There was a strange twinkle in his eye. Catherine blushed scarlet almost wishing she hadn’t thought of this now, it was so embarrassing. “You said you could scream.” She reminded him. “So I did. Tell you what Catherine, I’ll scream if you roar.” Laughing Catherine told him, “No deal, I’ll scream if you scream.” “And what’s the fun in that?” Caught up in the game now, Vincent found he was beginning to enjoy this. “Okay, I’ll growl if you scream, but I won’t roar.” Catherine told him laughing as much. “That’s because you can’t.” “I can too.” Catherine caught herself in her own trap. She knew it and Vincent jumped at the chance. “Prove it” He cried jubilant and laughed heartily as a flush infused Catherine’s cheeks. Rachel was giggling, holding onto Vincent’s arms tightly watching the two of them battling it out between them with delicious humour. “You go first then, expert.” Catherine poked her tongue out at Vincent, making Rachel giggle so hard her sides ached. “Excuse me sweetheart.” Vincent manoeuvred Rachel from his arms; “I have to be standing to give credit to this.” He put her down onto the sandy floor to one side of where he’d been sitting, and drew himself up to his fall height, “Hold your ears.” He told Rachel as he drew in a deep breath. Rachel did just that and her eyes grew wide as she heard the first sound of rumbling begin in Vincent’s chest. She grew almost afraid, if it hadn’t of been for the wink that Vincent shot her and his nod in Catherine’s direction. Rachel turned, delighted at what she saw, Catherine’s face portrayed genuine awe as she watched Vincent prepare himself for a full-throated roar. She’s heard it before of course, many times, but never like this. Those other times were spontaneous, and though deafening, Catherine had an inkling that this one was going to be really impressive. She wasn’t mistaken. As the chamber fairly shook with the vibration of the sound, Catherine too covered her ears. The roar went on and on filling the chamber to capacity, bouncing off the walls and ripple after ripple of echoes thundered through the tunnels. “Wow” thought Catherine if that doesn’t bring someone running nothing will. She smiled to herself as the thought went through her mind “Maybe we’ll even see Joe come running down here.” “Now it’s your turn.” Vincent turned to her. Catherine feigned regret. “Oh I could never hope to compete with that, you win hands down.” She told him. “Catherine…!” Vincent told her sternly. “I’ll just scream.” She smiled impishly, “Besides isn’t this how it started. As I remember you promised you would prove that you could scream.” “So I did, but while I regain my breath, you could entertain us with your version of a growl.” “A growl, no problem.” She laughed, drawing in a breath. “Did I say growl?” Vincent looked at Rachel for confirmation, when she nodded, he went on, “I meant to say roar, you haven’t got out of it yet Catherine.” He laughed. “Will you stop antagonising me.” Catherine laughed, “and shut up. The more you talk the less chance you have of recovering and the longer it’ll take you to scream.” She joked with him. “I’m going to scream with frustration in a minute, now ROAR!” He growled as he said it, making Catherine jump and Rachel giggle again. For long moments Catherine stared at him, she felt so ridiculous. Vincent on the other hand was enjoying himself immensely and had no intention of rescuing her from this one. Unbeknown to Catherine several tunnel dwellers had arrived brought there by Vincent’s roar and Father’s command that they should go to the falls following the contents of Catherine’s note. Drawing in a deep breath, Catherine pretended she wasn’t there at all, and tried to tell herself that this was some game between friends to see who could shout the loudest. It all seemed so ridiculous though when she heard herself utter the first notes, “Gr..” she attempted. Vincent chuckled at her pathetic attempt, “Louder I can’t hear you.” He told her. Catherine shot him a look, which said it all and more besides, and Vincent doubled over with laughter unable to help himself. Seeing the funny side of it, Catherine jumped on the chance and drawing in another deep breath let it out in an almighty rush of a roar before Vincent looked up at her again. “Impressive.” Vincent told her looking up sharply, “Did that come from you?” Catherine blushed and nodded. “Or did it come from Rachel?” He looked at Rachel and winked without Catherine seeing. Rachel rose to the bait; “Yes it was me.” She told him. “Why you…It was not…It was me!” Catherine exclaimed. “I never saw you, you will have to prove it.” Vincent told her grinning from ear to ear. “Why you!” Catherine stamped her foot, “Look at you standing there like the cat that got the cream, you’re loving every moment of this aren’t you.” Vincent’s face fell, and Catherine slapped a hand to her mouth, “Oh Vincent, I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” her face lit up as she caught a twinkle in Vincent’s eye, “God Vincent don’t do that to me, you almost had me there.” Vincent laughed, catching sight of a large group of tunnel dwellers now at the entrance and slipping inside the chamber to sit and watch. Catherine still hadn’t seen them. Which was fortunate he reasoned. “All right turn about is fair play, that was an impressive roar Catherine even if it was done behind my back. How about you closing your eyes while I scream?” Catherine nodded, and covered her eyes with her hands. “No peeping.” Vincent told her sternly as he drew in a deep breath and let it go in a cracked scream, “Arrrrr.” Catherine doubled over in fits of laughter, “That was more like Tarzan.” She cried, “Call that a scream.” “Be fair Catherine, I did say your roar was impressive at least.” Vincent looked hurt. A burst of chuckles sounded behind them, and turning Catherine blushed, “How long have you lot been there?” she asked. “Long enough.” Father’s voice boomed out from behind the crowd, “I must say this is very entertaining, can anyone take part?” “Be my guest.” Catherine told him, “Which do you want to do a scream or a roar.” “Oh a roar most definitely, if only to rattle my son’s brains as he has so often rattled mine.” Vincent exhaled a breath of humour, his eyes lighting up and waited as his father hobbled over to the ledge where he and Catherine had been standing before. “How does it go Vincent, you will have to help me.” Father told his son. Vincent smiled, and came to stand at his father’s side, placing his hand on his stomach. “You build it up from here, bring it up and up, feeling it fill your lungs, and then push and let it all come out in one great rush.” “I don’t know if I can. Surely you need some stimulant?” Father asked. “Think of something that always annoys you, or someone that annoys you.” Vincent told him. Father thought. Paracelsus! The effect was spontaneous. Following Vincent’s advice, Father brought the rumble up and up from his gut through his chest and gave expression to the mightiest roar ever uttered by a human being. “Ow my throat.” Father whispered hoarsely as a thunderous applause sounded from behind them and Father turned and bowed, “Thank you my friends.” He told them sincerely. Vincent smiled a smile that lit up his whole face, and Catherine not about to be outdone came to a decision. Besides if Vincent taught her the same way as he’d taught Father then she’d gain immense pleasure from the lesson. “How about you talking me through another one?” she asked innocently. Vincent caught her ulterior motive through their connection and smiled lazily.” Just talk?” he asked her innocently. Father giggled, as did several others causing Catherine to blush again. “Well no, not just talk.” She sidled up to Vincent, causing him to blush this time as she took his hand and placed it on her midriff. “Show me like you showed Father.” She asked him sweetly looking straight into his eyes. All this was lost on Rachel, but she was enjoying the fact that Catherine wanted another go at roaring, and she was happy to see that everyone had come running towards the first sounds just as Catherine had promised they would. Vincent’s heart hammered, as he felt Catherine’s warmth beneath his hand. He wanted to withdraw it, but knew that to do so would create more of a scene. He nodded just enough to accept, and then standing behind Catherine, drew her back against him, with one hand fastened around her waist firmly, he showed with his other hand from where the sound should come. “You start here.” He told her sliding his hand over her stomach, “And build it up to here.” His hand travelled and lingered (Catherine would swear to it), between her breasts. Her breath caught in her throat. Vincent whispered huskily into her ear, “You can’t hold your breath Catherine or nothing will come out. Now shall we start again?” He placed his hand back to her stomach and deliciously let it travel again slowly up to and between her breasts talking all the while, though it seemed to Catherine that his voice had grown huskier. “From here to here.” He told her softly. Catherine knew she would never do this. His nearness alone turned her limbs to mere jelly and what was more behind her she could feel him harden as he pressed himself closer to her. Looking around wildly Catherine searched for their audience, surprised upon seeing that many were discreetly moving away, ushered it would seem by an embarrassed Father. So he too had noticed the subtle shift in their actions. This caused acute embarrassment to Catherine. Vincent either didn’t notice or didn’t care if he did, he just held her more firmly relishing in the way his actions were making Catherine respond. “And then what?” Catherine spoke breathlessly. “You push it out in one mighty gush.” Vincent whispered into her ear and literally nibbled the lobe. Catherine let it out all right loud and clear but it in no way resembled a roar or a growl, instead a sensuous moan left her lips causing a chuckle to vibrate through Vincent. Believing the sound to be Catherine's attempt of a roar Rachel shouted, “Vincent wins, Vincent wins.” As she leapt to her feet dancing with happiness, “Vincent can roar the best.” She cried. “So how about a kiss for the winner.” Vincent told Rachel bending down to her level, to which Rachel ran to him willingly covering his face with soft kisses, “And Catherine must give you one too.” Rachel told him happily. Vincent straightened and turned to Catherine, his eyes liquid pools of passion, “Oh yes Catherine must too.” He told her huskily, his body melting as their lips made contact. “Oh yes.” Catherine agreed happily, “Vincent certainly wins every time.” Vincent grinned, and Catherine was surprised to hear another sound start up in his chest as their kiss deepened a sound that she found extremely pleasant and very erotic indeed. Vincent smiled down at her humoured by her thrill of the sound. “You’re purring!” Catherine remarked with surprise, “Now that I can do.” And just to prove it and just as their lips met again; Vincent chuckled as Catherine managed a purr that even rivalled his own. To be concluded in chapter nine.