Daemon Theories

This is the result of having no life.

Theory 1:

(Our heros are in the Super Computer. They are outside some door. It used to be guarded but now there's just unconcious guardians strewn on the floor)

Bob: This is it.
Dot: (awestruck) The door to Daemon's chamber.
AndrAIa: Wow.
Matrix: (Is playing with Gun pretending to shoot things) Huh?
Mouse: Ah don't git it.....
Ray: Me neither lovely lady.
Dot: Either.
Matrix: Well don't just stand there - shoot the door down!
Bob: I could just portal us in.
AndrAIa: We'd need a tear.
Dot: (under her breath) And some of us need a shirt.
Matrix: Shoots a console conviently near them.
Dot: That wasn't necessary.
Mouse: (surveying the newly formed tear) Yes it was.
(Bob turns the tear into a portal and they enter the chamber. There is a big chair in the center and it's facing away from them.)
Ray: Are you Daemon?
Daemon: Yep.
Bob: Show yourself!
(The chair spins around.)
Dot: (horrified) Oh for the love of......
Matrix: Oh User!
AndrAIa: The horror!
Mouse: Ah don't git it...
Bob: You're a...a...a....
Dot: (imapatiently) Sponge Bob. Daemon is a sponge.
Ray: Not too scary.
Daemon: Ha ha ha. Mwahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!
Dot: Don't you understand the power a sponge represents?
Matrix: Ray you're so basic!
Bob: It's unfathomable.......
Mouse: Ah don't git it........
AndrAIa: Sponges are the worst kind of Virus!
Daemon: Yes. I can wipe that slutty lipstick off you you.
AndrAIa: Hey!
Daemon: (to Dot) I can use my water to electrcute your organizer.
Dot: Gulp
Daemon: (To Matrix) I can wipe the bottom of your boots.
Matrix: No!
Daemon: (To Bob) I can wash your hair.
Bob: But it's clean.
Daemon: (to Mouse) I can wash that accent away.
Mouse: Uh oh.
Dot: Let Daemon live!
Bob: Yeah!
AndrAIa: Yes, let us allow Daemon to live. (All stare at her) What?
Ray: Huh?
Mouse: Uh oh.
Daemon: Mwahahahahahah!!!!!!

Theory 2:

(Our heros are in the Super Computer. They are outside some door. It used to be guarded but now there's just unconcious guardians strewn on the floor)

Matrix: Yea! Daddy! (grabs Dot's hand and they both run over to the green sprite, kneeling down at his feet.)
Bob: What the.....
Dot: Daddy you won't believe what happened.........Enzo said that I -
Matrix: Shut up Dot! I'm the youngest, I get to talk first!
Dot: No! I'm the oldest, I go first. Enzo said that I was pre-programmed.
Matrix: Well you are!
Dot: And you're a big angsty baby!
Daemon: Enzo, Dot, I'm sure both of you can work out a solution.....
Bob: But you're Daemon!
Daemon: I have to put my family first - Enzo Ferguson Matrix, what happened to your eye?
AndrAIa: Ferguson?
Matrix: That's a long story.........
AndrAIa: (to Bob) Great. our steadys' dad is a super virus.
Daemon: What!?
Dot: Another long story long story daddy.......
Ray: Dot said that you died in the Twin City explosion.
Daemon: Just a cover.
Mouse: Ah don't git it......
Dot: Oh daddy you're soooo smart.
Ray: So what's Dot's middle name.
Daemon: Winifred.
Bob: Come on! This is Daemon here. We HAVE to do something! He he...Winifred?
AndrAIa: My thoughts exactly.
Matrix: I'm sticking with daddy.....
Dot: Me too.
Daemon: That's my good kids........
AndrAIa: Can I join you?
Daemon: Why do you want to?
AndrAIa: Well......I date Matrix...erm Enzo.
Bob: AndrAIa!
Dot: Join us Bob!
Bob: Oh all right. Total net domination DOES sound tempting.......
(The five walk off into the sunset(?))
Matrix: Daddy, there's someone in Mainframe we need to pick up.........
Dot: Oh yeah.......Do we have to? He's just as annoying as you are.
Matrix: Oh put a null in it Dot.
Dot: Make me!
(Ray and Mouse are left behind)
Mouse: Ah don't git it........
Ray: Neither do I
Dot: (off in the distance) Either!

Theory 3:

(Our heros are in the Super Computer. They are outside some door. It used to be guarded but now there's just unconcious guardians strewn on the floor)

Bob: This is it.
Dot: (awestruck) The door to Daemon's chamber.
AndrAIa: Wow.
Matrix: (Is playing with Gun pretending to shoot things) Huh?
Mouse: Ah don't git it.....
Ray: Me neither lovely lady.
Dot: Either.
Matrix: Well don't just stand there - shoot the door down!
Bob: I could just portal us in.
AndrAIa: We'd need a tear.
Dot: (under her breath) And some of us need a shirt.
Matrix: Shoots a console conviently near them.
Dot: That wasn't necessary.
Mouse: (surveying the newly formed tear) Yes it was.
(Bob turns the tear into a portal and they enter the chamber. There is a big chair in the center and it's facing away from them.)
Ray: Are you Daemon?
Daemon: Yep.
Bob: Show yourself!
(The chair spins around.)
Dot: Yikes!
AndrAIa: Oh my goodness.....
Mouse: Ah don't git it.
Matrix: That's just nasty.
Bob: Daemon is a-
Dot: -Acne prone nerd?
Daemon: I'm a geek! Get it straight spammit!
AndrAIa: Right. He, he, he.
Daemon: (Pushes glasses up her nose.)And you're here to destry me 'ne?
Bob: (ala Sailormoon) Right! I, Bob will punish you in the name of the Net!
Daemon: (stares) You like Sailormoon?
Bob: How'd you guess?
Daemon: (awestruck) Can you teach me how to do the hand movements to Sailormoon's speech? (pleads)
Bob: Uh...I guess....Wait! No! You're evil. I can't.
Daemon: I'll cut you into the total net domination deal.
Dot: Don't listen to her!
Matrix: Bob! Stand for what you believe in!
AndrAIa: Don't succumb to evil!
Mouse: What?
Ray: Ah don't git it....
(All turn to stare.)
Bob: (shakes his head) No.
Daemon: Please? I've got manga too!
Bob: Really? (Gets BIG anime eyes)
Daemon: Really.
Dot: Bob, NO!
Bob: Lead on Daemon.
Matrix: No!
(Daemon and Bob leave the room. The others stand for a moment looking at one another and finnaly at Dot.)
Dot: Bob. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (tears stream down her face)
Mouse: Deja-vu. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (tears stream down her face)
Ray: Ah don't git it...
(Matrix looks at Ray.)
Ray: What?

Run back to the Peanut Gallery while you still can.