I read a small piece by Kathleen Hanna entitled 'Dorky=Cool'... it talked about how female attributes such as being open, being willing to just cry, being empathetic and caring are often considered 'uncool', when cool is supposed to be the classic male 'James Dean' kind of aura..detatched and aloof. I so agreed. We shouldn't hesitate to be the nurturing (and even dorky) people that we are...be it girls or boys but I think girls have a special problem with this. They've been taught subconsiously that having these masculine qualities is 'cool'. People laugh at the riot grrl fashion of baby barettes, wearing pink, reverting to childhood..carrying lunch boxes. But these grrrls are making a huge statement in the way they dress..they're saying that they aren't afraid to be girls. SO many feminists seem to take the approach that to express their equality with males they should be just like them. That really confuses me, and seems to miss the point entirely. We're girls! We get to wear skirts, and makeup, and heels and barettes..celebrate who WE are! I don't see how real feminists can stand to dress out of the men section. I can't see how people mistake riot grrrls as fashion punx. Ya, it's fashion..but we're trying to tell you something. Fashion is such a distorted art form in our society, I know that. I think about it all the time. We can tell people so much in our clothing..instead of just trying to make yourself look cool..make it stand for what you really believe in. If that means getting a marker and writing what you want you want the world to know on an old t-shirt..do it. So many people may never read your zine or hear your band, but they'll notice what you've got on. Use it to scream out your opinions. I don't see why so many punks look down on fashion..it's a great tool to help people wake up. So if you see a grrrl all decked out with her barettes and kiddie gear.. think about what she's saying and how unafraid she is just being a woman. yeah.

Okay, point two: overcoming the groupie girl image. This is the part that really pisses me off. All the stupid freakin' girls flirting with the bands for free stuff..coming to shows, not even dancing..flipping their hair a couple times and giggling for a CD. Chasing after all the punk guys, cause I guess they're what's in now or something. And then I'm like completely tearing it up in the mosh pit, singin along..I go and tell them I thought they were good and it's like 'Go away little girl!We can't give out anymore free stuff.' What? From then on it's like everything we do is interpreted like we're trying to hit on them. Uh, yeah right.

I was introduced to punk rock a couple years back by an ex-boyfriend who drug me along to hang out with all his 'cool punk friends'. Most of the time he ignored me, they ignored me. I was just like the token groupie girl or some shit. A whole stupid year I just kinda sat there, subsurvient to their opinions. I started a band in 10th grade and they all watched the tape of me playing crappy guitar and my best friend Corinne singing her guts out then falling on the floor. Sure, we sounded like nothing. But jeez. They were like..oh, that sounds like riot grrrl music. I was like 'What's that?' And they were like..'Oh, some really shitty Olympia Washington girls screaming. about nothing. It sounds like crap.' I listened to them..take my advice girls! DON'T LISTEN!

So, another year went by. I started another band. This time for reals. Tara played bass (whatta cool gal). And we wrote heartfelt songs..even though we weren't super-terrific musicians..and our drummer (Derek) hated each and everyone of them, but tolerated them. We played shows and got the usual response. A couple of our girlfriends up front.. the crusty punks in the back muttering about throwing trash at us. Then we'd be followed my a college band with 'cute' tan guys who sang anthems about beer and everyone was like 'Wow!' But I still stayed with punk. I knew there had to be something there for me! And lucky enough I found it just a couple of months ago.

I just moved to Carlisle, PA. I'm learning to survive without all the people I love and who always seemed in a way to define who I was. Now I'm my own definition. I started 3 bands on arrival to Carlise. And y'know what they all told me when the guys who wanted to hear what I wanted us to sound like 'Man, I'm not playin that music..that's girl music. What do you like Bikini Kill or something?' At the time I had never heard them. Finally I checked em out..the rest is history and I'm in love! None of the bands worked out (the guys actually couldn't keep up with my guitar playing..they were all like burnt out, shooting up drano etc.) So I'm bandless, friendless, but not visionless. Someday I'm gonna make some music and somebody's gonna listen. Ya.

So girls...unite. It's that simple. Don't HATE guys. No way, that would suck! Don't alienate yourselves. Some of my best friends have been guys..that's not what riot grrrl's about. It's about celebrating what is SO unique and SO beautiful and strong about you..that's so often misunderstood and talken for granted and abused. It's about using ourselves as intruments to spread the kind of peace that understanding can bring..we listen to know that we're not alone. Don't be alone! You don't have to be..It's a terrible thing to be creative and not to create. Don't let the world deprive you of that right as a female, as a human. Ok? Got it? Go make beautiful music grrrlies, the world is yours!! Love, *#LaUrA#* Email me anything dorky you wanna say: zupulu@rocketmail.com