"Xenogears: Return to Genesis"

02: Relapse

"Where am I?"

Fei was hovering in a dark void of stars. His usual garb had been replaced with a pair of sleek black slacks. His torso was bare.

The woman who resembled Elly came behind him and hugged him. He felt a wave of pleasure take his mind. He closed his eyes.

"This is the place where it all began. Where our love was forged." She whispered into his ears.

"Open your eyes."

Fei did as he was told. He felt overwhelming awe take over his heart.

The blue sky was clear, and bright with the blissful rays of the golden sun. Around him was a meadow, sprinkled with beautiful summer flowers. Red roses, violet tulips, white carnations...

White Carnations.

"It was your favourite flower." he said outloud. He knew this place all to well.

She laughed as he held her hands to his heart.

"You remember?"

He nodded his head.

"I remember... everything." His voice was tinged with sadness. "Up to our separation."

"Yes..." She let go of him and came to his side. Fei felt his angel wings sprout behind him. His beautiful white angel wings...

He felt himself relapse into a bitter sweet memory.

************************************************************************

It was a place of eternal peace and happiness. The true paradise.

The god of Salvation stood in the field of Spring, deep in troubled thought.

This world, his thoughts began, is not the perfect place we are all led to believe. We are goddesses and gods who have all the power in the universe, and yet I envy the humans below us.

He was troubled because such a simple thing as love, could not be.

Love is general, he continued, Love is everywhere-- or so that is what our god has told us.

His forehead crumpled up and he stared at the skies above him. The same sky that was over the human realm.

Why is it that love between two individuals can not be expressed here? Why is it forbidden?

He was a god that visited the humans often. He enjoyed to be among them, though they could not see him. He was their muse. He was the man that whispered sweet prospects of peace and love into their ears and opened their eyes.

Many of the others laughed at him. They were arrogant. They helped watched over the humans, but that was all.

But he was different.

He enjoyed watching them. The things that pleased them were things that the gods and goddesses here took for granted.

He felt the happiest when he heard their laughter. Just the other day he had heard a young girl laugh because she had received a dozen roses from her boyfriend. It was such a simple act.

But it was one that came straight from the heart.

That was the most important factor.

And yet, that could not happen here.

He was mainly troubled, because he himself was in love. With a beautiful goddess of auburn hair and sky blue eyes. The goddess of hope and light. She visited the human realm often. Not as much as him, but he knew she shared the same perspectives on humans. She genuinely loved them.

And he genuinely loved her.

Since the first time he saw her.

He sat down on the grassy field. The flowers arranged themselves around him as he did. It made him sick. It was so artificial. Everything here was.

Except for her.

She was the only thing that was real.

"Animus!"

He heard the honey sweet voice of Lillianne, the goddess of emotions. Her long blonde hair flowed behind her like a wedding veil.

He got up to greet her.

"Lillianne, how are you?"

"Animus, will you be visiting the realm of the humans today?"

He shook his head, his long ponytail blowing in a perfumed breeze.

"No, not today. There’s a quarrel among Arens and Hydrite, I’m hoping I can play peacemaker."

She laughed. "The god of air and water? What else in new; they quarrel over the dumbest things."

"Usually things that involve brute strength." Animus agreed. "But it causes such a ruckus..."

Lillianne watched him with adoring eyes.

"No wonder you are his favourite, Animus."

He shook his head. "No, I am far from it. Anima is."

Lillianne turned away, watching the liquid sky.

"Anima... The goddess of hope and light..."

Later on that day, he went to the lake to watch Anima. It was a naughty habit. He knew. It’s just, he couldn’t help himself.

She was bathing, as she always did at this hour. She was a beautiful creature, Anima was. Her long white limbs and wonderful figure exceeded any other goddess. And her face was something that could put you in a trance. It was lovely.

He had loved her since the dawn of human era. Five billion years ago. It was a sad gap that could never be filled until she was with him.

Perhaps he would ask god for a pardon.

After all, god created them for each other. Animus- the god of salvation and Anima- goddess of hope and light. One could not go with out the other. They were the reasons that the Earth was at peace.

In his train of thought, he wasn’t paying attention to the lake. Or the person staring at him in the lake.

He snapped back to reality when he heard her sweet tranquil voice call out to him.

"Animus? What are you doing?"

Panic crossed his face.

"N..nothing..."

He stumbled back and fell on his rump causing Anima to burst in gentle laughter.

"Animus, if you wish to bathe than you should."

Animus felt very dirty in the eyes of Anima. She was so innocent. Perhaps it was best if he stayed away from her.

The only thing he could do was poison her mind.

Clenching his fist, Animus turned and fled from the forest and lake. The gentle voice of Anima calling to him like a spring breeze.

That night, Anima came to him in the Spring meadow. Animus was ashamed and refused to look at her.

This saddened her.

"Animus. You are such a gentle being. I’m sorry if I said anything that may have upset you."

He shook his head with his back turned to her. His white wings acting like a cover.

"Anima... I am a dirty being. I watched you often. I was just so entranced by your beauty. I couldn’t help myself."

Animus felt her slender arms slide around his west. She was at his side, hugging him. It felt good, her touch.

"Am I a dirty being for letting you watch me?"

Animus threw her a confused look. She watched him carefully.

"I knew you came often. I just... didn’t want to do anything about it."

Animus’s eyes widened. He looked at her.

"You mean?"

Anima blushed. "Yes. I let you watch me... Am I a dirty being?"

A heavy silence followed.

It was kind of awkward, but that soon disappeared with the laughter that followed.

And then the unexpected happened.

Animus lost himself in Anima’s eyes and he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. Anima kissed him back, letting her hands roam freely on his naked chest while his traced up and down her back.

And then everything melted into a world of happiness.

Animus awoke beside Anima. His arms held her slender shoulders and she purred into his ear. He lightly nipped her earlobe.

"Animus..." She murmured. "Is this what love is?"

"Yes." he kissed her gently on the cheek. "This is what love is."

"It’s such a wonderful thing... Why is it not permitted in paradise?"

"I don’t know." He answered. He stood up and handed her her pale blue gown. He put on his slacks and held Anima’s hand.

"But it is the one thing that could complete paradise."

She squeezed his hand. "I have been waiting since the dawn of time to be with you. You.. you seem so gentle and kind. I think only you would be able understand me."

Animus smiled, his handsome tanned face glowing in the morning sun.

"I love you, Anima."

She blushed. A light pink grazed her ivory cheeks.

"I... I love you too."

The rest of the day was a haze of happiness. They enjoyed the day in the presence of each other, making sure to stay away from prying eyes.

But the happiness soon came to a screeching halt.

Animus and Anima were to be trailed infront of the gods and goddesses of Eden, the elite council.

It seems that someone had been watching them...

And so the hour of the trail had come. An hour before, both had been thrown into separate prisons. Without a single goodbye. Everything was so abrupt.

Krelian, the god of judgement was to play the judge. The palace thrown room was filled with goddesses and gods who had come to witness the trail. The first to ever take place.

The room was buzzing in excitement. Many knew that Animus was close to humans, but they did not know that he was that close.

Willing to give up paradise for a stupid human emotion like love.

It was enough to make most of them howl in laughter.

If they only knew.

The trial. It happened fast. Someone had recorded some visual images of Animus and Anima kissing and hugging during that day. ‘Recording’ in paradise was much different process than in the human realm. Images were collected in the mind, and could be extracted when it was fit. The person behind the images, was anonymous.

There was no doubt, both were guilty as charged.

Krelian handed down the judgement like a thorn in Animus’s side. Guilty. But it was the punishment that caused Animus much grief.

"They will be separated. Animus, since his love for humans is so strong, will become mortal. Anima will remain here, under close surveillance."

"Wait!" Animus called out. "That will upset the balance of humankind. Without salvation, hope and the lightness of the human spirit can not be attained. Does god know of this judgement?"

Krelian watched him with cautious eyes. Animus thought he saw a hint of fear in his eyes. It was quick to pass.

"Yes. It was him that wished it to be that way. The humans have gone too far. They have created nuclear weapons to destroy each other. They are dying by the masses. Without salvation, they will continue fighting. It is a harsh lesson, but one that must be painfully learned."

He paused and watched the assembly of gods and goddesses with authority.

"Earth will be annihilated by the hands of humans."

"No, Krelian!" Anima cried, tears falling down her cheek. "We mustn’t allow that to happen! We must protect then! Me and Animus can turn them around. We just need time."

"The judgement has been handed down." Krelian pursued. "It is the wish of god. Animus is banished and must never step foot in paradise again."

It was a curse that would plague their lives for all eternity.

************************************************************************

"Animus..."

Animus opened his eyes slowly. He had been crying, Anima was wiping the tears from his eyes with the gentle brushes of her fingers.

"Anima... I almost forgot."

"Shh..." She hugged him. "It’s alright. I’m here now... We’ll never be apart again."

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