Tuesday 8 August 2000 |
Reading:
Listening: country music Thinking: Drinking: Ok-o-meter: 7 Quote for the day: If you can see your whole life clearly as you drown, so you can when events go over you like a tidal wave, and effectively drown the person you have been up to now. -- Ellis Peters, _A Nice Derangement Of Epitaphs_ Weather report: sunny Watching Ally McBeal tonight. And I do think about that. I fo want to not be able to live without some, at the same time I don't want to be that dependant on someone. I would like for someone not to be able to live without me, but I don't want that kind of responsibility. That's what's so frustrating about being with Wayne -- I love him but honestly not the way or as much as I should. If I had to live without him I could. This scares me a little; this is how the end of my marriage started. I don't want to stay until I hate him. I don't want to leave yet. I used to know what I wanted out of life. It took me a long time to figure it out, or at least part of it. I've always known that I want a house and enough kids to fill it. The rest of it has been developing, and will continue to develop until it all comes together. I won't lie to Wayne and tell him that he is what I want out of life. But life really sucks sometimes, no, a lot of the time.
Now life waxes not so good
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