All relationships I've been in, friendly and romantic, have always just happened to me.  The only relationship I've ever actively pursued was D (which may explain my continued attachment to the idea) -- even then it was actively waiting for it to happen.  I've always been a very passive person relationshipwise.

I'm trying to be more active in my life now than in my past.  My mother helps -- she tells me to settle for what I can get, that I expect too much, don't bother with what I want ("it's unrealistic") go for what I can get.  You have to know what that does to me.  So I have a job that I want (county), I'm not married just because I live with the guy, I am strict with my kids and I don't spoil them without a good reason.  I will get a house, one that I like, and I will have it BEFORE my children are ready to leave it.

My female anole died.  Don't know why, could have been anything.

Blue is the bird, hottest before ashes
Gold is the sky Red and then Blue
Sable is earth tho Blue is it's waters
Hot is the Life now known to you

Green is the foliage - Blue eyes thru peeking
Purple the range seen thru Blue depths
Black is the midnight in Blue velvet darkness
Cold is the heart where love is kept