Tuesday
the first of February, year 2000
Got the cash advance place paid off
today. Yay another bill down, a couple mill to go. When I got
there Tim, the guy that works there, reminds me of the application I took
last time I was there. I hadn't brought it back so he had me sit
down right then and fill it out. He says they are short-handed.
Hey, cool.
Wednesday
February second, year 2000
We were woken at 6:15 this morning
by the wheel in the rat cage. They rarely use a wheel, so I put the
noisy one in their cage. I shook the cage, which usually makes the
boys rush over to see me. They did rush over but the wheel didn't
stop. This is where it gets spooky. I have the two female mice
in a cage and my two rats in another cage right next to the mice.
One of the mice was in the rat cage. The non-mother, Ruth.
All the doors to both cages were still locked closed and there didn't appear
to be any obvious sign of escape or entry. Now, that mouse is very
small and I suppose it is conceivable that she could have tunneled through
the pine shaving and under the bars (there is no floor grate and the bar
top connected to the try bottom only by two clamps.) but even if that is
so, I still don't know how or why she would have gotten in the rats cage.
That cage does have a floor tray and the tray locks onto the bars directly
instead of by the clamps like the mouse cage. Maybe we have a rare
teleporting mouse and it was in the rats cage because it wanted to use
a different wheel? (The mice love their wheels)
I need to
practice my German. Wie gehts es Ihnen? Sehr schon, ich habe bill
money.
5:07 pm
I want to give up on the whole clerical
thing. I took it up because I could do it and make money. All
the careers I really wanted to do take time and money and I have neither.
Been thinking of calling my friend who owns a massage school and asking
him if he accepts Pel Grants. Be cool to be a massage therapist.
County has an ongoing testing for a position. The only problem is
that the classes are $900.
Thursday
the third of February, year 2000
I called my temp service after Dado
called me Monday, to tell them I was available for work. I got work
for this week starting Tuesday. I have been working at a center of
catholic ministry. The school is right across the street. I
used to know boys who went to that school. Their grandparents lived
across the street from where we used to live. They were the ones
who taught me how to throw a baseball. I was good, too. Now
I'm out of practise and I throw like a girl. Wait, I am a girl.
Anyway,
the library here is great, I borrowed "Men are from Mars, Women are from
Venus" which I've wanted to read since I first heard about it.
11:00 am
No time is ever wasted. You
aren't being lazy, you are restoring your inner battery. The
whole UoPhx experience has just confirmed to me that I want to go back
to school and get my AA. I now know I can just do general education.
I think I will take night class at Delta, Maybe I can even get a
BS in something.
Friday
the fourth day of February in the
year 2000
Since the place I was working at
was across the street from the hospital my other works at, we have been
having lunch together. It was nice. I like spending time with
my mommy. I hope I can find another job close to her so we can do
this often.
We went
to get Lorelei after I got off work. It wasn't too bad driving in
the dark, we went to Kragen and got new windshield wipers first since the
ones that were on the car when we bought it weren't worth shit. We
got home to several messages from Wayne's kid's mother, Nicky. Despite
the fact that he told her he would probably not take them this weekend,
she was still pissed that he didn't show up immediately when she wanted
him to. Her boyfriend comes over on the weekends and she doesn't
want t have to deal with the kids when she wants to pay attention to him.
Saturday
A fifth of February, drink up 2000
times
I was going to go to Gwen's house
after her and Deb went for facials. Ooo la la, a facial. Anyway,
we went to go cash my check and pick up Wayne's kids. While we were
out we decided to drop by the pet store to pick up some fluff for the mice
to make nests out of. We ended up getting a new bigger cage for the
rats. Darn, I thought I wasn't going to spend any more money on the
animals this month. Oh wait, new month, that explains it. The
people at the pet shop are gtting to know us really well, since we are
there every other day, or at least twice a week. We went to pay utilities
bills and then came home.
When we came home,
I went to fininsh cleaning the cages, I stopped so that the mouse could
put the babies back into the house after I cleaned it. (I ended up getting
a spoon and putting them back myself) I thought that both mice were
in the cage, but I found when I opened the cage that only one mouse as
there, the mother. My escape artist was gone again. We looked
around and found her behind the bed. Luckily, I managed to catch
and put her back. We also rearranged the front room tonight.
Sunday
6, February 2000
Gwen brought over Tarzan (Disney)
to Mommy and Daddy's for us all to watch. Guy didn't come again this
time to church. I guess he no longer feels he has to suck up to my
parents. Deb was going to marry him, but the way he's been acting,
it doesn't look likely now. Can't say his behavior surprises me.
But then, I don't like him.
Talked again
to Frankie, asked him if he is ready to graduate next year and if he is
signing up for the navy like he mentioned earlier. He has a friend
who might hire him after graduation so he could get money and move out
of his mom's house. I don't blame him. Deb is a much better
mother now than way back when she was still doing what I have termed "general
abuses of the body", but still she relies on Frankie too much to be the
male model in the house. I don't like that her boys call her boyfriends
Daddy whenever she is with someone, it just makes it harder when things
go bad. Mikie was really confused when she broke up with her last
boyfriend. He was just a baby when Deb and Dar got together and he
was 5 or 6 when they broke up. It was even harder since he lived
(his parents) down the street from our parents. Mikie would see him
and want to go give his "Dad" a hug and couldn't, because Deb didn't want
to have anything to do with him anymore. Sad.
Monday
7, February 2000
Doctors appointments, got my IUD
in finally. It hurt, but it's ok now.
Ana had
a doctor appointment too. Whenever she's in a bad mood, she will
say she doesn't feel good or her stomache hurts. I didn't know if
it was just her in a bad mood trying to get sympathy or growing pains or
what so I took her to the doc to see if there was anything wrong with her.
The doc said nothing was wrong, but if she keeps it up to bring her back.
Called my
temp service to tell them I will be available for work this week starting
tomorrow, Todd called back for an interview for tomorrow. Temp
to perm position, heard it before, we'll see what happens.
Tuesday
Eighth day of February in the year
2000
Had the interview this morning through
my temp service. I think it went well, though I was trying hard to
keep me eyes open. I've been getting lazy lately and only writing
here every couple days or so instead of every day. I write in the
paper journal so I know what went on that day, but it doesn't get in here
unitl a day or two later.
3:00 pm
Todd called back from Kelly (my temp
service) and said I got the job, I start next Monday. Yay, employment.
I've been looking up classes from the community college all day (over the
net). I think I definitely am going to school in the fall.
Wednesday
9, February 2000
Went to Gwen's today. Watched
her play Tomb Raider on Matthew's new Playstation. It was cool.
Got my check today, need to go shopping for Ana's present tomorrow.
Her Birthday party is on Saturday, we don't know if Luc and Lu will be
there since that is Lu's Birthday.
Thursday
10 February 2000
Got Lorelei today. Rained all
the way up and back.
Friday
11 February 2000
Ana's Birthday Today!!!!!!
She turns 3 years old today.
7:01 pm
Been thinking about Loyalty for a
while lately. To whom do we really owe loyalty? Do we owe our
parents loyalty for bringing us into the world and raising us to adulthood?
Do we owe our spouses loyalty to go along with Love, Honor, and Cherish?
Loyalty isn't one of those things that are included in vows of a civilian
nature, but is something that's sort of understood. And if you do
owe loyalty to someone or something, how much and how long? Loyalty
is why I had sex with my ex-husband even when he was fucking another woman,
loyalty was why I stayed when I was so unhappy I was crying myself to sleep
every night. Loyalty was something I gave freely when I was young,
and something I withhold more now that I am older. My children have
my loyalty without question (Duh!). A few of my friends have my loyalty,
Wayne does, to a point. Is loyalty something you give, something
you owe, something you have a choice in, or not? Your parents raised
you, gave you life. Do you owe them loyalty, do they owe you a measure
of loyalty, what about extended family? Do you owe someone loyalty,
not for what they have done for you, but only for who or what they are?
What about your country, or your president, or the given deity of whatever
your chosen religion? How far into the abstract are you supposed
(or willing) to go? Something I will have to think on more, hopefully
to eventually figure it out. Maybe it's just something that
is supposed to be, without question. It is definitely a cultural
thing; loyalty is learned, not instinctive. I suppose it is a self-preservation
thing. Loyalty will make sure you stick together, take care of each
other and someone will take care of you when you are no longer able to
take care of yourself.
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