Saturday
13 May 2000 |
Reading: Impossible Things - Connie Willis
Listening: Bare Naked Ladies Thinking: What if..... Drinking: ginger ale Ok-o-meter: 5 Quote for the day: Weather report: sunny and warm tho with slightly cool wind I was just thinking. if
wayne died tomorrow, what would you do?
I have no idea what you would do, I don't know what i would want you to do, i don't know what you would want to do. is this sad? not that i want him to die, but
he's getting bad enough that we know it's going to happen sooner rather
than later. he got a wheelchair last month and we found that he's
using it often enough that he's getting a motorized one. i can't
push him in the other one, he's too heavy. no putting him on a diet
isn't going to help. i've heard that one from everybody. "well
if he just lost some weight..." it isn't about the weight. the heavy
living and "chemical influences" of his youth have caught up to him.
even if he lost the weight, the problems would still be there. so
it might not happen tomorrow or next month, or it might happen later tonight.
i don't want him to die, i don't want to wait around for it to happen,
but i don't want to leave either. i guess that when you wait for
it, you get your greiving out of the way early and you're ready to move
on long before the end.
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