Rules For Surviving a Soap

There are certain rules that one must abide by to successfully survive a soap. (So I've seen Scream and Scream II one too many times).

1. Never ever assume that just because character #1 is standing in a doorway to a room, listening to character #2 (who has their back turned) on the phone or talking to themself about the secret they need to keep underwraps or en evil deed they did, that character #1 is going to find out all and expose all. Instead, character #1 will somehow only catch the tailend of the monologue, and ask what's up, and character #2 will cover-up.

2. Never ever think that just because the camera does a close-up of character #1 who holds a secret, and character #1 is with another character or a group of characters then when the show breaks for a commercial and comes back, that character #1 with the secret will spill his/her guts.

3. Never try to rationalize why a trusting/nice/good character would make a pact with the devil a.k.a the evil character. Caitlin are you reading this?

4. Remember that all new characters always have a secret or a troubled past.

5. Also remember that it is, in fact, okay to use cell phones in a hospital that has all kinds of medical machinery. (ie: Annie talking to Dr. Brock while she was in the hospital to see Tim; Annie on her cell phone trying to book a one-way flight out of town; Gregory making plans for a chopper search and rescue after the tidal wave; Ben making plans to find a way to search for Sara and Casey.)

6. Realize that there is only one doctor, maybe even two or three, who is a jack of all trades, medically speaking. "Paging Dr. Robinson. You're wanted in surgery then right after that you have that patient who's here for her gynecological exam, then you have to rush back to Cedar Oaks to come up with a new cure to Martin's Syndrome."

7. Remember that every soap has its own "disease" (ie: Martin's Syndrome).

8. Remember that only evil people get what they want while the nice ones finish last.

9. Never ever assume that because on Friday one character looks like they might have gotten caught by another character doing something they shouldn't be doing, that on Monday they will actually be caught. By Monday, they will have come up with a cover-up story to protect their butt.

***These rules were thought up by me, Sara, and took some time into making them up. Please do not use it one your webpage. If you want to use it, please E-mail me first for permission then give proper credit from where you got these rules. Thank you.


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