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An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee
sitting behind his desk totally stressed out.
He gives him the advice: "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had myself pampered by my wife. It was fantastic and it really helped. You should try it too!". Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed. "I see you followed my advice?". "I did", answers the employee, "It was great! By the way I didn't know you had such a nice house!". |
A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch
an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt
next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman
took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand.
Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention .... " |
A businessman was traveling in the train and his
seat was reserved in the last couch of the train.
Every time the train stops at station and he faced so much of problem as all shops to purchase eatables were far off. He was very upset and every time he was remembering that's all happened because I am in the last couch. When he got down at the destination station, he asked the station person that he wants to lodge a complaint against the railway staff. The complaints and suggestions book was given to him and he wrote: " There should not be any last couch in the train. If there is any last couch in the train, it should be kept somewhere in the middle. |
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After being laid off from five different jobs in
four months, Arnold was hired by a warehouse.
One day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold ten percent of Arnold's wages to pay for the repairs. "How much will it cost?" asked Arnold. "About $4,500," said the owner. "What a relief!" exclaimed Arnold. 'I've finally got job security!" |
One winter morning, an employee explained why he
had shown up for work 45 minutes late.
" It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two." The boss eyed him suspiciously. " Oh, yeah? Then how you ever get here?" " I finally gave up," he said, " and started for home."
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Boss: "I've decided to use humor in the office.
Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work
force is being trimmed.
"Knock knock." Employee: "Who's there?" Boss: "Not you anymore." |
Boss: "I can assure you that the value of
the average employee will continue to increase."
Employee: "That's because there will be fewer of us doing more work, right?" Boss: "Right. Except for the 'us' part." |
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Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker
who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan. |
INTERVIEWER to job applicant: "Do you think you could come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of their house?" | |
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled
in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached
him.
"Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?" "Go down the hall and turn left, "replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in." |
A young man hired by a supermarket reported to his
first day of work. The manager greeted
him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." " But I'm a college graduate," young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I apologize. I didn't know that," said the manager. " Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how." |
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A new bakery opened in the building where Weight
Watchers meetings were held. One day people noticed a sign in the bakery
window:
"NOTE TO WEIGHT WATCHERS - All cake sales confidential!" |
The packed elevator stopped between floors. One of
the passengers rang the security button and over the PA system a reassuring
voice announced:
"Nobody leave. Help is on the way!" |
SIGN posted on a hospital bulletin board:
"The community chorus will begin Monday - night rehearsals at 6 p.m. We have a special need for men's voices, but all parts are welcome." |
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