| Our sex was so good, even the neighbors had a cigarette. |
| If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. |
| I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. |
| If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. |
| We are Microsoft. Resistance is Futile. You will be Assimilated. |
| Jesus is coming - everyone look busy. |
| Born free........Taxed to death. |
| The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. |
| A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. |
| There's too much blood in my alcohol system. |
| I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. |
| Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. |
| WANTED: Meaningful Overnight Relationship. |
| BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore. |
| You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. |
| I got a gun for my wife.....Best trade I ever made! |
| Jesus may love you....but he won't respect you in the morning. |
| So you're a feminist - isn't that cute? |
| Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer. |
| I need someone really bad.....Are you really bad? |
| If, a two letter word for futility. |
| I don't care, I don't have to. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. |
| Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. |
| To all you virgins out there....Thanks for nothing. |