If you want me to stay away from you, please try not to acquire the following characteristics
Sandiness: I love sandy hair. Not too dark, but not albino. Somewhere between dirty blonde and light brown. A happy medium. It's not even all about hair (it's a lifestyle!), it's the complexion that goes along with it. Mid-toned with a propensity to moles. Not an overabundance of icky growths, but a few here and there never hurt. These guys can even get away with being stubbly. Somehow it just all blends together and looks fine.
Light eyes: Like blue or green. I have nothing against brown, but the best sandy specimens usually have lighter eyes.
Large or unusual feature(s): This one really works on a case by case basis. If you go too far in one direction you could either end up with a monstrosity or a thing of beauty. I like the grotesque, but you have to be careful. Big ears and/or noses are rarely a bad thing.
Sweaters: I know it's strange, considering how much I loathe Bill Cosby, but he was all into patterns. Even the freaky guys look better in sweaters. I used to be big on cardigans, but pullovers are damn sexy too. T-shirts are o.k. underneath, but a cardigan or a v-neck coupled with a collered shirt is a sight to behold. I'm not picky about fabric though it's hard to go wrong with mohair. I have a friend who agrees with me, but also likes polarfleece. That's a bit sporty for my taste, but when I saw Hank donning some, my tune changed a little. And sweaters aren't just good for boys. Everyone could benefit from their charm. Before I moved I had six laundry baskets full of them. It saddened me to have to get rid of them. That's why fall is the dreamiest season of all. Sweaters abound, unfettered by heavy coats. Crisp weather is most condusive to falling in love.
Plain: I'm a hypocrite. Yes, I hate guys who like mousey girls, yet I love the male equivalent. I don't like them too big, too flashy, too loud, too anything. I would take a simple, kind guy with a mediocre job over some attention-seeking, opportunistic, big-mouth, any day.
Short hair/lack of facial hair: Clean cut and youthful no matter their age. I guess if I were a guy I might want to liven things up somehow and get creative with sideburns or facial hair. Luckily I'm not a guy. It looks terrible.
Briefs: I really don't care much one way or the other about what kind of underwear a guy wears (well, not bikini) but I always end up with the white brief types. Boxers are either too cool or manly and I want none of that. The biggest deviation I've encountered were those longer legged briefs, and in black, but all my friends called this kid "The Dirty Bird" so maybe they really were white at some point.
Simple and/or Anglo names: This is a weird one since you don't always know a person's name at first. But it almost always turns out that when I like a guy he ends up having a common one syllable first name. The last name may vary a little more, but is usually not unusual. Example: I was seeing a Tom Robinson and at the same time had my eye on a John Robertson. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
Lanky/small-to-medium build: I don't know why I have a thing for tiny guys, but it's hard to resist. I don't neccessarily mean midgets or side-show freaks. Just scrawny boys of average height.
Funny and self-deprecating, but not wholly pathetic: There's something irresistible about a guy who can laugh at himself. And I don't mean like some faux dork hipster. There's nothing worse than someone who takes themself too seriously or poses as a loser just to prove how cool they really are.
Loner: Maybe I should've said independent. This quality always ends up being a problem. I mean people don't have friends for a reason (I should know). But there's just something about a guy in a crowd doing his own thing. Guys in groups scare me. It reeks of frat-boy gang bangs. If I'm out a show or wherever I'm always drawn to the guy who seems to be by himself. And then some cute girl comes up behind him with a drink and I feel retarded for even thinking that he'd venture out alone. I wish I didn't think hermits and recluses were so sexy. It just causes heartbreak in the end..
[stalking] [goodies] [Lone Star Thomas] [project me]
phone home