Leo's Stats!

Real Name: Leotardo Nocream Cappucino
Birthdate: November 31, 1974
Birthplace: Lost Angeles, California
Sign: Sun in Scallops, Moon over Miami
Favorite School Supply: Protractor
Longest Strand Of Hair Found In His Soup: 15.5 inches
Worst Nightmare: Being pursued by a rabid Chevy Chase clutching a bloody Muppet
Least Favorite Integer: -7


Leo's special name is a result of his being born while his mother was in a dance class, right in the middle of a parouette. Leo had a difficult time in school, getting expelled at age fourteen for urinating in the coffe maker located in the teacher's lounge. The fact that it improved the flavor was of no help to young Leo. From there, naturally, he went on to a fabulous career, starting off in yogurt and bran flake commercials and posing for fake nude celebrity bodies on the internet, the irony being that eventually his famous face was placed over himself which made no sense whatsoever. But success wasn't always so glorious. As other photos on this page reveal, Leo was often forced to scrounge through trash bins, seeking out bottle caps to exchange for food, clothes, and cable television. But fortunately, this all changed when he realized "What the hell am I doing?" and all the silly nonsense stopped immediately. The rest is history.

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