Now, on to my favorite subject... THE MEN! This is the place
where I rate the guys from Xena using my own personal scale. Take
a look...
 |
10) I can't look! Your
beauty blinds me!
9) Ooh la la!
8) Going my way?
7) Hey babe,
take a walk on the wild side
6) He'd be cute.. if he bathed once
in a while
5) In betweenie
4) I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is
disconnected
3) Mommy, mommy! There's an icky man on TV!
2)
I want to bannish thee from X:WP
1) EEEEWWWWWWWWW! |
You are entering the courtroom of Judge sidney.. uh 0. These
accounts are real, the testimony's real, blah blah blah...
bailiff- All rise! This courtroom is now in session. The honorable
Judge sidney preciding.
sidney0- You forgot the zero.
bailiff- Sorry.
sidney0- You may all be seated. Who's up first?
bailiff- People vs. Ares.
sidney0- Ah, the god of war, excellent. (Licks her lips) What do
you have to say for yourself Ares?
Ares- I'm the god of war.
sidney0- Um, we know that. What else?
Ares- I did the hanky panky with Xena.
Xena- (from the crowd) Uh hum!
Ares- What?! I have evidence!
Xena- Hey, that was Callisto in my body. It's not my fault if she's
easy.
(everyone glances at Callisto)
Callisto- (throwing her arms in the air) No comment!
Ares- Well, I got with the annoying chameleon haired chick.
Xena- Gabrielle!! How could you!?
Gabrielle- I-I, that wasn't me! That must've been... Hope!
Ares- That may have been Hope, but you can't tell me that you
didn't want me in The Quill is Mightier... Your Honor, take a look...
sidney0- I agree, there was some heat there. But how do you explain
this?!
Ms Golightly- (standing up in the peanut gallery) I think everyone will agree when I say this beard looks FAKE!
(Ares looks away shamefully)
Ares- I was having a hair growth crisis okay? I wanted to look older.
(Ares starts to sob)
sidney0- Okay, I'm ready to rule.
Judge's Comments: This bad boy of X:WP has the right idea when it
comes to clothing. Leather. He's got a great body, but the hair all
over lowers him on my scale. My advice, haircut. I actually like his
beard thing he's got going now. I think he is a lot more sexier in the
recent seasons than in the first seasons.
sidney0's Ruling: 7) Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side
What's your Verdict?
sidney0- NEXT!
Co-Starring: Gypsy Gab
Gypsy Gab- Up next iz ze people verzes Ulyzez.
sidney0- Ulyzez?
GG- Yez, Ulyzez.
sidney0- Whatever, bring him
in!
sidney0- What is this? I told you to find the sexiest picture you
could find!
bailiff- This IS the sexiest picture your honor.
GG- It iz ze zextiezt becauze I am in it.
sidney0- Grrr, and why are you in it?! (referring to GG)
GG-
Uh, I believe at ze time we were ztaring at Xena, becuz she iz zuper
zexy, no?
sidney0- Uh, sure. Okay Ulysses, you think you're hot
stuff?
Ulysses- (with a smug smile) I know I am your honor.
GG- Objection. Your honor, he iz being, uh, how do you zay...
conzeted. Let uz azk ze Spize Girlz what zey think.
Siren 1- We are Sirens!!
GG- Uh huh, I don't care. You both zing and
where zilly outfit. In my book, you iz Spize Girl.
sidney0- Ladies,
just tell me what you came here to say.
Siren 2- Ulysses is gross.
Siren 3- Way nerdy.
Siren 1- We only sang to him that one time
because Posiedon made us.
GG- Ah hah! Poziedon made zem! I rezt my
caze. Now you shall rule Ulyzez very ugly man, and I get my Xena.
sidney0- I have definately heard enough.
Judge's Comments: Ok,
this guy is in one episode and it is a bad one at that. I could not
believe that Xena was actually interested in this guy! If he was in
this time period he'd wear a pocket protector (sure he'd make millions,
but a nerd no less!).
sidney0's Ruling: 4) I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is
disconnected
What's your Verdict?
COMING SOON
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