Xena and Alti on the Links

Xena: "Grr! Nice shot Alti. Gabrielle didn't you say that the yardage was 137?

Gabrielle: "It is! Must be Alti's evil power!" Gabrielle Glares at the shamaness as she gets out her PING putter. "It could have been a change in the wind though."

A: "No little giiirrl! I hit my shot so I hit a smoooth iron. I KNEW I had the power to get it inside you Xeeena! I can beat you even though you have your little lover caddy!"

X: "Get real Alti." Angry, Xena stomps towards the green. "Come on Gabrielle,"

Xena and Gabrielle walked up on the 9th green and saw that Alti's ball lay 8 feet away with a straight in uphill put. Xena's was just under twenty five feet away pin high, but the put was going to go over one ridge and a double breaker too boot.

Xena looked at her put and glowered. "Damn wind," she muttered. As she stalked the put, Xena turned to Gabrielle who was putting down the heavy bag and asked, "Whaddya think?"

"Geez, Xena, looks like you gotta aim maybe three feet to the right?" Gabrielle asked in reply.

"Xeena!" Alti hissed. "It looks like your karma is running against you. I knew some day I'd get enough power back! My karma is to play my short irons better than you!"

Gabrielle snapped, "Yeah but she's got you fifty yards off the tee!"

"Gabrielllle! That doesn't matter too much on a par 3 does it my pretty?" Alti's black eyes glittered malevolently. All the while this discussion was going on, Xena was patiently walking around the putt, with her war face on. At last her azure eyes glittered, and she went to Gabrielle and took her old blade putter.

"You're right, Gabrielle, " Xena growled. "But I gotta really kill it."

Gabrielle smiled impishly and replied, "If anyone can kill a putt you can, Xena." Xena smiled and put her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder.

"Xeeeena! You gonna putt or trade meaningful glances with your little frriennd?!" Alti hissed sarcastically.

Xena just looked at Alti with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Without further comment, Xena addressed the putt. She felt Alti's black eyes boring into the back of her neck. Xena took her practice swing, took three deep breaths and remembered her Way was the way of the LPGA. Alti's way was no better than the Nike tour... Everything leaped into relief in Xena's consciousness, then smoothly and firmly, she pulled back her blade and struck the putt. She knew she hit it square, instantly she started to walk, following the ball.

Alti stared at the rolling Titleist 4 as it went left, bowed gracefully up the ridge then turned hard right when it got to the top. Her expression turned into a rictus of insanity as the ball, seemingly on rails, ran truely to the hole. Then hope in her black soul exploded as the ball hit the rim of the cup! Then that hope collapsed. The ball travelled 180 degrees around the hole and dropped in. Xena got her birdie.

Gabrielle jumped and punched the air, "YES!" she exclaimed. Xena adopted a small, pleased smile. Alti stared at Xena and growled.

"You're up," Xena said matter of factly.

"I'll half this hole, Xeena! My destiny demands it!" Xena pulled a face and Gabrielle smiled widely. Alti stalked to her putt---an easy one. She addressed the ball, a Maxfli, and with great calmness, took her practice swings. She checked her alingnment again, then struck her putt. "IN THE HOLE!" she exclaimed in her low, gruff voice. Xena looked on serenely as to Alti's frustration, the ball took a tiny, unread turn at the hole and hung up on the lip. "ARRGH!!" Alti exclaimed bitterly as she glared at Xena and Gabrielle.

Gabrielle pulled Xena's score card out of her bag and marked the score. "Xena's two up on you Alti," Gabrielle said.

"Yep, you're buying us lunch at the turn!" Xena said.

"Damn that Darsham!" Alti bleated