Playing in the Sunshine

I tried to imitate Cassie's deliberately unhurried writing. She didn't seem to be
having any trouble at all with following the lecture--or writing down all the notes
on the board.  Looking around, I noticed that many other students around me in this
Calculus class seemed to understand this lesson.  But, like the lessons from the rest of
this first week, this one also seemed to be presented in a foreign language.

Language.  Ahhh, why couldn't this be language class instead?

I looked over at Cassie once more and she caught my eye, smiling encouragingly.  I
knew that our daily phone conversation tonight would once again involve a swapping
of my Shakespeare and her Calc notes.  I mirrored her smile and happily returned
to my notetaking with renewed vigor. Until...

"That's a wrap, class--for both today's lecture and the beginning-of-the-semester review.  We'll
move into the new material tomorrow."

Plunk. My head hit the desk with a thump and I prayed for divine intervention. After
a few seconds, I realized that a miracle just wasn't going to take me out of this
nightmare.  Instead I wished I could just melt into the floor.

Wonderful. Now what was I going to do?

"You want to do what?"

My advisor stared back at me and I tried to keep a smile plastered to my face.  I
had to be firm.  Convincing. A major step for Sandy. I needed to take charge.

Shifting slightly under her scrutiny, I began my little speech.  I'd rehearsed it
a hundred times on the way down the hall. "I want to drop the Calculus class and
add something that I would actually enjoy.  I've checked the catalogs for the colleges
that I am thinking of attending, and I already have all the math credits I need.  Really."

"But typing?"

"I think I would enjoy it."  Smiling, I knew it would be okay. "Even if I never use
it, I think I would love to learn to type."

Little did I know that during this, my senior year in 1989, I made a decision that
would be one of the most important ones of my life.  Typing has become an integral
part of my life as sleeping or breathing; it is part of how I communicate with others
and even part of who I am, in a way. I can create my voice with the strokes of my hands
on the keys, letting others see how I decorate a blank page and fill it with what
is important to me.  Like typing, computers have also become part of my everyday
routine, starting with my very first Apple, a Macintosh SE.
 
 

December, 1989
Dear Macintosh SE,

Well, you're cute. Very cute. I like the little smiling computer that shows up when I turn you on. Maybe that's what I'll call you: Smiles.  Do you like it?  More importantly, what exactly am I going to do with you?

I'm in the computer club at school and we have computers like you in the lab.  I have typed up a few things during our meetings, but we don't actually meet much.

I like the idea of you storing things for me; not only can I type up my work more easily, I can backspace when I make mistakes and actually save my work for later.
 

But right now, it's Christmas vacation, so I don't have any writing to type up or put on you so I have decided to write to you, Smiles.  I'm sure that we'll be seeing more of each other in the future.
 
 

March, 1993
PowerBook 160
Dear little powerbook,

I am sitting on my porch in the early afternoon, listening to the whispers of the
trees and the hum of the world around me.  Sunshine is warming my toes and I'm savoring this moment, which I've anticipated since I started saving my money last year.

One thought keeps going through my head:  "Now I feel like a writer!"  I can pick
you up, little powerbook, and take you with me anywhere: to the library to work on
a group project, to my bedroom to write a report, to my porch to work on my fiction.
I have to smile thinking that now I am confined only by my imagination and determination; I don't have to write facing a wall or write only when I'm at home, at my desk.

With my senior year approaching, and hopefully graduate school, I am excited to think
about how portable little you will change my writing habits.  I have already forsaken
handwritten sketches for computer drafts, but what new things will you help me do?
 If you can help me be inspired on my fiction, I'd be appreciative!
 
 

February, 1994
Macintosh Performa 6320cd
Hello Performa!

You have the most gorgeous color screen that I have ever seen!  Okay, I'm only being
partial because you are mine.  I can't get over that you are so bright and have so
many features.  Before, I have written on MacWrite and SimpleText, but now, I have
this new program called ClarisWorks.  I really like that I can see the visual page and
know when I'm coming close to the margins and the bottom of the page.  How wonderful
that will be for getting to the required length!

You are also fully equipped with a larger hard drive, so I can do things much faster,
whether that be opening up a document, saving, or printing.  I also love that you
come with what's called a modem.  I have been given an account at WVU, where I can
dial in and take part in a class project; we will have discussions about our readings during
the days we don't meet.  Although learning the commands for dialing in and getting to the
messages is a bit complicated, I'm sure that having a larger computer will be very helpful
with this task.  I may even get an e-mail account, too.  I'll have to check on it, but I heard
that I get one free from school.

In short, you will be a great computer to have at home.  It's not that my laptop isn't
fun to write with, but I have really wanted a color screen and some more memory.
 I know that they are now making powerbooks more affordable, but what would I need
a new one for?  I can have two computers--one for home use, and one for my travels.
 
 

January, 1998
Power Macintosh 6500/275

A name.  You need a name.  Something powerful, to match your capabilities.  Athena?
 I think it fits, so Athena you are.  With 5 G of memory and a 56K modem, you are
a pleasure to play with!  Downloading files from the internet and checking my mail
can be done in half--no one-third--the amount of time.  With Adobe PhotoDeluxe and
a scanner, I can create more than I'd ever thought possible.

After a few tests and a few days of playing around with my new screensaver (A slide
show of Titanic via AfterDark), my mom brought me her wedding picture.  A snapshot
of her and my father before the wedding, in my grandparents' house, it meant just
as much to me as to her.  However, after 30 years of sunlight, it was showing signs of
wear and tear.  The blues were aquas now; the red hues more brown.

"Can you do anything with this?"

I took the picture from her and thought about how many times I'd looked at this frozen
moment over the years.

"It's the only one I have and if you could just make me a copy or something, I would
like that." My mom's voice was warm-- a hint of excitement, laced with faith.

Honored, I set to my task, hoping that I could give her just a small gift for all
that she'd given me; this was important, a memory, and I didn't want to let her down.

After a few hours, I emerged from my downstairs "office" with a beautiful picture.
 With my scanner, my new HP printer, and that wonderful Adobe PhotoDeluxe program,
I was able to not only restore the colors to the wedding picture, I had printed it
out on photo paper with sizing options.

My mom's smile was the best thank you.
 
 
 

April 1998
PowerBook 1400cs/133

I'm sitting in my apartment in Indiana, in my favorite spot for writing: my bed.
I'm multi-tasking, testing you out, enjoying the color screen, the launcher which
puts all my programs only a touch away, and thinking about what to call you, my new
puter.  PB?  No.  Bea?  Yes, I like that.  Short and sweet.

I'm in awe of the PC card capability--it's so small a slot!  And one of the slots
is filled with my new 36.6 internal modem card.  Heavens, it's quite a switch from
the 14.4 external that I had been using.  I'm now even more portable: I can check
my mail in the kitchen, in the bedroom, on the living room floor--the only tie that binds me
is the accessibility to a phone jack.  (My dad has, knowing me, already bought an extender cord which will allow me even more flexibility and range with the phone line.)

For the first time, I can see the way that the computer has slowly become an integral
part of my life.  I have to smile as I think of my long ago conversation with my
high school advisor over taking that typing class.  If anyone had told me then that
I would compose e's in the morning to my family and friends, teach workshops during the day that help students learn how to use wordprocessors, write drafts in the evenings while I took breaks to play with the internet, I honestly would have thought that they would have been joking.

But with you, Bea, I can talk to friends in other states while I sip coffee and watch
reruns of The X-Files at night.  I can find pictures to make slide shows; I can
make virtual post-it notes that remind me of my many daily tasks.

You are the perfect computer for me, allowing me to play in the sunshine. As I continue
to explore all the wonderful features that I haven't gotten to yet, I'm sure that
you'll have more ways to make computers a part of my life.  Yes, you, dear puter,
are perfect.  Well, almost.  I hear a PowerBook G3 calling my name. ;)
 

sandy's links:

my fun page
a collaborative Writing Center visions page
my literacy narrative: coloring