I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:

Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
***********************************************

The last fight was my fault.

My wife asked: "What's on the TV?"

I said: "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
***********************************************

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.
*************************************************

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?:

Two mothers-in-law.
*************************************************

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of

Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.
*************************************************

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified:

"Wife Wanted".

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
*************************************************

The most effective way to remember your wife's

birthday is to forget it once.
*************************************************

First guy: "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
*************************************************

How do men define marriage?:

An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage,

men would go through life thinking they had no

faults at all.
*************************************************

If you want your wife to listen and pay

undivided attention to every word you say,

......talk in your sleep.
*************************************************

Then there was a man who said:

"I never knew what real happiness was until I

got married; and then it was too late."
*************************************************

A little boy asked his father:

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm

still paying.
*************************************************