Dr. Rabbi Reuven Bulka in a lecture given at Shearith Israel Synagogue points out that when others try to make us feel guilty, we have a choice whether or not we are guilty or the guilt is being imposed unfairly. If it is unfair it should be rejected. You can only do this if you have a fair sense of self esteem. We are born with the assumption that we are good human beings and we should keep this underlying understanding throughout our lives.