Admonishment

The Torah commands us to admonish our fellow man when we see him behave improperly, as an expression of our love and comcern for his welfare. This mitzvah applies to our children with even greater force, for they are totally dependent on us for the development of their character and values.

The verse in Proverbs 3:12, "For he whom the Lord loves, He admonishes..." concludes with the words, "...like a father who delights in his son." The Gaon of Vilna comments that the father-son relationship is unique. In other relationships the rebuker may love the one whom he rebukes, but if the person won't listen, he eventually lets him go his way. But if a son doesn't heed his father's rebuke, the father doesn't desist; he continues to chastise him until the son improves his ways. He does this out of a love which is so great that it cannot bear to see wrongdoing, and desires only that the son behave righteously. The evidence that the father acts out of feelings of love is that when he's finished chastising his son, he speaks to him comfortingly and soothingly. When the admonishment is followed by words of consolation, it's unlikely to cause resentment, for the child will sense that it is really an expression of love.

- from More Effective Jewish Parenting p. 107 by Miriam Levi. Artscroll 1998


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