1) After you've killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. 
2) If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who were mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately. 
3) Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 
4) Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out. 
5) If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. 
6) Should you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go out alone. 
7) If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's planning on having a "good time" and they're all youth counselors... and especially especially don't tag along if they're all going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out. 
8) As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 
9) Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead. 
10) If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately. 
11) If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. 
12) Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead. 
13) Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. 
14) If you're running from the monster, plan on stumbling needlessly at least two (2) times... more if you are female. 
15) If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination with blood, glowing eyes and/or slime... immediately excuse yourself from the conversation and drive away. 
18) Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, weed whackers or any device made from their own severed limbs. 
19) Listen closely to the soundtrack. 
20) Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with icy things because "there's so much we can learn from them". 
21) Don't make fun of or play with dead things. 
22) If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. If you see a town that looks deserted except for children, do not try to 'help' them - they will eat you. 
23) If a meteor strikes nearby, move out. 
24) If you walk into the local abandoned looking church to seek help or shelter, and you notice that the crucifix is mounted upside down, turn around and go back outside as quietly as possible. 
25) Never have sex in the bunk beds of recently renovated summer camps. 
26) Strange lights are seldom harbingers of joy. 
27) On no account do ANYTHING because someone dares you to. 
28) If any animals, such as Birds, Piranhas, Spiders, etc. begin to exhibit behavior that seems a bit more hostile towards mankind than normal, expect to soon find many more. Plan on this. Leave. 
29) Whenever you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone. 
30) Do not allow crew mates back aboard the craft if and after you have found a hideous parasite attached to his/her body. 
31) Be forewarned that a gun is only good for ALMOST killing the monster, never for COMPLETELY killing it. Be sure to have an extra weapon, preferably one with a "flair" (a knife, a harpoon, a heavy box, razor confetti, pop tarts...) 
32) Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or the voice of a dear relative whom you THOUGHT was dead. 
33) DO NOT go into the dark room. 
34) While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone. 
35) If you are a female, never show your breasts. Easy women die fast. 
36) Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds. 
37) Ask why the estate is being sold so cheap. 
38) If the phone lines are dead, and you hear footsteps upstairs, and you say "Tom... Tom is that you?" and Tom does not answer, run away. 
39) If the Master does not approve, neither do you. 
40) Never handle the rat monkey cage. 
41) Your dog can take care of itself. 
42) Skeptics are often the first to fall prey to the demon incarnation of the Anti-Christ. Always believe what the aged priest says. 
43) If you find yourself often standing in shadows and saying very little, or especially if you were ever or are currently a "bully", you are probably not a main character. Commit suicide at once. 
44) Whenever possible, no matter how unnecessary it may seem, always empty all the bullets you have into the monsters head. 
45) People driven by vengeance always die. 
46) Mentioning any goals in life, anything you have to look forward to, or any loved ones will invariably get you killed. 
47) Feel no guilt. 
48) If you have to run away, taking a bus is your best bet. If you take a car the monster will be in it. Cabbies are always demonically possessed. Monsters will destroy any plane/boat you try to take, and to get to the subway you have to go through dark underground stations. 
49) If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up! 
50) If you're being chased by a monster and you find one of your friends and they ask "what's wrong?", don't stop and try to explain. Just tell them to run as you go by. If they're really your friend they'll follow. If not, that's their tough luck. 
51) If you are a good dog you have a 50-50 chance of survival. Remember, good dogs will only die if they stand up to the monster in defense of their master. Bite the hand that feeds you and run away! 
52) If you are a bad dog (bad dog!), you WILL be dead by the movie's end. For fun, kill all people you encounter, except for your ex-master, whom you will feel strangely compelled to avoid. 
53) If you're a bird, CONGRATULATIONS! Your people will triumph and rule the world!

-Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 
-Drum on every available surface. 
-Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry for alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape. 
-Sing the Batman theme song incessantly. 
-Staple papers in the middle of the page. 
-Ask 800 operators for dates. 
-Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings 
-Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 
-Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 
-Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 
-Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 
-Set alarms for random times 
-Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beep Bip Bip Beep Bip..." 
-Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off. 
-Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 
-Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 
-Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 
-Honk and wave to strangers 
-Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 
-Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 
-Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 
-Wear your pants backwards. 
-Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 
-Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"  
-Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reeds "Metal Machine Music." 
-Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode. 
-Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 
-Pay for your dinner with pennies. 
-Tie jingle bells to all of your clothes. 
-Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 
- Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" on all of someone's road maps. 
-Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 
-Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 
-Light road flares on a birthday cake. 
-Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 
-Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 
-Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 
-At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 
-When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells..." until physically restrained. 
-Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."....... (Rachel) and run up and down the halls. 
-As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 
-Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 
-Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 
-Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song. (Ya know, Lamb Chops?) 
-Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 
-Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 
-Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 
-Drive half a block. 
-Name your dog "Dog." 
-Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 
-Ask people what gender they are. 
-Reply to everything someone says with "thats what YOU think." 
-Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray. 
-Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl. 
-Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 
-Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes." 
-Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 
-Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 
-While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 
-Lie obviously about trivial things, such as the time of day. 
-Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 
-Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 
-Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 
-Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 
-Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 
-Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 
-Wear a LOT of cologne. 
-Ask to "interface" with someone. 
-Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 
-Sing along at the opera. 
-Mow your lawn with scissors. 
-At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!" 
-Finish all your sentences with the words, "in accordance with the prophecy" 
-Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 
-Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 
-Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 
-Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." 
-Stare and static on the TV and ask other if they can see the "hidden picture." 
-Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 
-Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 
-Never make eye contact. 
-Never break eye contact. 
-Signal that the conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 
-Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 
-Construct your own pretend "tricorder" and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 
-Give a play-by -play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cossel voice. 
-Holler random numbers wile someone is counting. 
-Make appointments for the 31st of September. 
-Invite lots of people to other peoples parties. 
-Glue change to the floor at any public place. 

1.) Inform the entire theater that you have to go to the bathroom. Wait a minute or so and tell everyone that you feel better now. 
2.) Applaud 
3.) Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes. 
4.) Sing along with the background music. 
5.) Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!" 
6.) Snore 
7.) Yell "Hey, down in front!" even if you are sitting in the front. 
8.) Make shadow puppets. 
9.) If you've seen the movie before, say what's going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight. 
10.)Walk around behind the screen. Jump through it. Run like hell. 
11.)Pull out a gun and shoot the "bad guys." tell people that you are a part of this new "live action" movie. Shoot any movie personnel telling you to stop. 
12.)Read the credits out loud. 
13.)Dress as a cheerleader. Keep the actors' enthusiasm up. 
14.)Stand by the screen and sign the movie. 
15.)Rip off one end of a straw wrapper and blow in the straw. The wrapper will fly across the theater, hopefully hitting someone. 
16.)(Variation of above) dip the wrapper end in ketchup. This will make it a permanent part of the screen. 
17.)If it's a Disney film, go up to the projector room and replace the film with an adult film. 
18.)Talk loudly to a friend. Whenever someone else makes the slightest noise, tell them they are inconsiderate little bastards for disrupting your viewing pleasure. 
19.)Put exlax in the drinks. Lock all the doors. 
20.)Say "beep" loudly at every vulgarity. Tell those objecting that you are from the EPA here to stop noise pollution. 
21.)Throw Runts at people so you can use the drive by fruiting joke. 
22.)Sacrifice small furry creatures in the front of the theater. 
23.)Sit by the isle. Trip everyone that walks by. 
24.)Walk in front of the screen, fall, and lay there for a few minutes. Then get up and go back to your seat as if nothing happened. Do it again every ten minutes. 
25.)Play an appropriate instrument for the movie:  western-banjo, comedy-cazoo, action-synthesizer or guitar, mystery-bad whistle, horror-cowbell or afucha (sp), etc. 
26.)Say the lines with the movie, in Swahili. 
27.)Collect donations for charity. 
28.)Bring a portable T.V. Watch the ball game. Cheer loudly. 
29.)Aerosol can. Zippo. 'nuff said. 
30.)Throw paper airplanes. Announce their take off like air traffic control personnel. 
31.)Candle + flashpaper = fireballs! 
32.)Yell "Ow!" after every gunshot. 
33.)Stand on your head in the isle during the duration of the movie. 
34.)Have a barbecue. 
35.)Gargle your Pepsi. 
36.)Juggle 
37.)Bowl in the isle. 
38.)Get a realistic looking and sounding cap gun. Go to the front of the theater and exclaim that "The movie is depressing you." Shoot yourself in the head and fall dead. After about a minute get up and go back to you seat. Remain silent the rest of the movie. 
39.)Play Battleship with someone across the theater. 
40.)Wear a trench coat and sunglasses. Whenever someone enters or exits the theater ask to see their identification. 
41.)Do shots. 
42.)Eat a lot of beans or chili before the movie. Hope the theater is crowded. 
43.)leave death threats on various seats. Give sinister glances to people as they leave the theater. 
44.)break into a chorus of "Green Acres" during climatic parts of the movie. 
45.)Do some needlepoint. Suddenly yell "Ow! That hurt. Whoah cool, it's spurting." 
46.)Find the light switch. Turn the lights on. 
47.)Throw water balloons. 
48.)Bring lots of gerbils and mice. think snowball fight. 
49.)Have a friend call your beeper every 5 minutes. Make sure it's loud. 
50.)Throw smoke grenades. 

1. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document. 
2. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes. 
3. Insist that your e-mail address be "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com" 
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver. 
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that. 
6. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement. 
8. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present. 
11. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.) 
12. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No, I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi." "Hey Bucko, are we meeting later?"etc... 
14. Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick figures yourself.) 
15. Schedule meetings for 4:14 p.m.. or 2:37 p.m., or 10:16 a.m.. 
16. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. 
17. Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each. 
18. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom." 
20. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN." 
21. Plant a hedge around your cubicle. 
23. Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans. 
24. Put on your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when s/he leaves. 
25. When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my phone is ringing" and leave. Go get a coffee. 
26. Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many." 
27. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. 
28. Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets. 
29. Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into your daytime. 
30. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this. 
34. Include a personal note on every email you send. "On a personal note, I'm feeling a bit tired and grumpy today." or "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce that I got my highest score ever on Tetris last night." 
35. Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers. 
37. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle. 
38. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your own children. 
39. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc.... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." 
40. See how long it takes until the last person stops believing you. Then start planting pizzas. 
41. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 
42. Put a sign on the copier that says, "Voice Activated. Speak loudly into the panel" 

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 
3. Twitch a lot. 
4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 
5. Steal a fish tank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 
6. Become a subgenus. 
7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When she/he turns to look, fall back down and grin. 
9. Speak in tongues. 
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlety. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling. 
11. Walk and talk backwards. 
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them. 
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye." 
14. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost inaudibly. 
15. Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias on a kazoo. If your roommate complains, explain that it is for your performance art class (or hit him/her with the wrench). 
16. Collect all your urine in a small jug. 
17. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food. 
18. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are. 
19. Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks." 
20. Buy as many back issues of Field and Stream as you can. Pretend to masturbate while reading them. 
21. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened. 
22. Eat glass. 
23. Smoke ball-point pens. 
24. Smile. All the time. 
25. Collect dog shit in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate. 
26. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously. 
27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you. 
28. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances. 
29. Paste boogers on the windows in occult patterns. 
30. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly. 
31. Dye all your underwear lime green. 
32. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim. 
33. Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet. 
34. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's closet. Accuse him/her of stealing it. 
35. Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due). 
36. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster or The Boog. Sacrifice something nasty. 
37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks. 
38. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them. 
39. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley. 
40. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative. 
41. Shave one eyebrow. 
42. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently. 
43. Put horseradish in your shoes. 
44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want. 
45. Always flush the toilet three times. 
46. Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often. 
47. Buy a copy of Frankie Yankovic's "Pennsylvania Polka," and play it at least 
48. hours a day. If your roommate complains, explain that it's an assignment for your primitive cultures class. 
49. Give him/her an allowance. 
50. Listen to radio static. 
51. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up. 
52. Cry a lot. 
53. Send secret admirer notes on your roommate's blitzmail. 
54. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If he/she walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously. 
55. Paste used kleenexes to his/her walls. 
56. Whenever your roomate comes in from the shower, lower your eyes and giggle to yourself. 
57. If you get in before your roommate, go to sleep in his/her bed. 
58. Put porno's under his/her bed. Whenever someone comes to visit your roommate when they're not home, show them the magazines. 
59. Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed . . . do so for a while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling. Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this method to fall asleep every night for a month. 
60. If your roommate goes away for a weekend, change the locks. 
61. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the phone for 
62. seconds then hang up. 
63. Whenever he/she goes to shower, drop whatever you're doing, grab a towel, and go shower too. 
64. Find out your roommate's post office box code. Open it and take his/her mail. Do this for one month. After that, send the mail to him/her by UPS. 
65. Collect all of your pencil shavings and sprinkle them on the floor. 
66. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate. 
67. Call safety & security whenever your roommate turns up his/her music. 
68. Follow him/her around on weekends. 
69. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall. 
70. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door. 
71. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone. 
72. Take his/her underwear. Wear it. 
73. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her. 
74. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say 
75. Tell your roommate that someone called and said that it was really important but you can't remember who it was. 
76. Let mice loose in his/her room. 
77. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling. 
78. Take your roommate's papers and hand them in as your own. 
79. Skip to the bathroom. 
80. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend. 
81. Gather up a garbage bag full of leaves and throw them in a pile in 
82. When you walk into your room, turn off your lights. Turn them on when you leave. 
83. Print up satanic signs and leave them in your room where he/she can find them. 
84. Whenever you're on the phone and he/she walks in, hang up immediately without saying anything and crawl under your desk. Sit there for two minutes than call whoever it was back. 
85. Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed. 
86. Use a bible as kleenex. Yell at your roommate if they say Jesus or God Damnit. 
87. Burn incense. 
88. Eat moths. 
89. Buy Sea Monkeys and grow them. Name one after your roommate. Announce the next day that that one died. Name another one after your roommate. The next day say that it died. Keep this up until they all die. 
90. Collect Chia-Pets. 
91. Refuse to communicate in anything but sign language. 
92. Eat a bag of marshmellows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. Say you got sick. 
93. Wipe deodorant all over your roommate's walls. 
94. If you know that he/she is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing. 
95. Leave apple cores on his/her bed. 
96. Keep feces in your fridge. Complain that there is never anything to eat. 
97. Piss in a jar and leave it by your bed. When your roommate isn't looking, replace it with a jar of apple juice. Wait until your roommate turns around. Drink it. 
98. Don't ever flush. 
99. Buy an inflatable doll. Sleep with it. 
100. Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me." 
101. Lick him/her while they are asleep. 
102. Dress in drag. 
103. Steal a tire from a fraternity lawn. Bring it to your room. Bathe it. Name it. Sleep in it. 
104. Leave your room and lock the door. Proceed to bang on the door screaming, "Let me in. Let me in." Get mad at your roommate for locking you out. 
105. Talk on the phone a lot. Don't pick up the receiver. 
106. Talk to your roommate but don't let any sound come out. Get mad at him/her for not listening to you. 
107. Ask your roommate if Bob, your invisible friend, can stay the night. 
108. Ask your roommate if he/she can turn down the music; Bob has a headache. 
109. Start a brothel. 
110. Constantly slip and fall -- on your carpet. 
111. Post a sign in your bathroom that reads: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." Check every time to make sure he/she follows it. 
112. Invite the Dean to sleep over. 
113. Invite the school President to sleep over. 
114. Invite your roommate to sleep over. 
115. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything. 
116. Walk into walls. 
117. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her. 
118. Every time you take a shower, yell audibly, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" 
119. When your roommate has friends over, get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope. 
120. When you leave the room, put on a screen saver that says, "I'm watching you." 
121. Make a care package for your roommate. Leave the room and ride back and forth outside your window saying, "Speedy Delivery!" until he/she comes out. 
122. Move very stiffly and grin. Tell your roommate that you've turned into Gumby. 
123. Open a can of HIS beans or spaghetti, empty it into his bed and then replace the can in his cupboard. 
124. Crumble a few packs of crisps into his bed.....they take ages to clear off again. 
125. Replace the fuses in his electrical equipment with a lower rating (useful, as my housemate can't wire a plug up) 
126. Move all of his furniture outside 
127. Eat jewelry. Accessorize food. 
128. Smash your roommate's favorite cassettes and wrap the tape around your naked body, running around the apartment screaming "Fly, be Free! Fly, be Free!" 
129. Watch TV at least 15 hours a day. Before doing so, turn the set around so it faces the wall. Watch the back of it. 
130. Invite your roomie to play catch out in the yard. Every time you catch the ball, catch it near your head. Fall to the ground screaming. 
131. Frantically scribble something on paper. When finished, eat it. Start again. 
132. Complain about your menstrual cramps. Loudly. This works best, of course, if you happen to be male. 
133. Make some rice for dinner. Pause suddenly, spit out a mouthful and scream "Maggots! Maggots!" Blame your roommate. When done, make more rice and finish eating. 
134. Try to convince your roommate that you are indeed Louis XVI of France. Every time he grabs a knife or cuts something scream in terror and go running out of the apartment clutching your neck. 
135. Pretend you are Jan Brady. (Marsha Marsha Marsha!) 
136. When talking to him/her, alternate between being exceedingly polite and god awfully rude every sentence.