Redneck Love Poem

Collards is green, My dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.   Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.   You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.   Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;     I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,     well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Them fellers at work, they all want to know,     what I did to deserve such a purdy yung doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,   to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' orhead.   You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,     you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt .

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,     my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.     despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,     we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;   They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds...... IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!