Do you ever have a Toad day? Just a day when you feel totally miserable, a day when you can't do anything right, you are clumsy and ridiculous and everyone notices? This is the theme of my life. I am a toad. An ugly, warty, toad. I wish that someone would step on me and put me out of my toad misery. A toad day is a lot like a 'fat' day, only much worse. On a 'fat' day, you feel fat: you feel like none of your clothes fit right, and, more significantly, you believe that everyone is looking at you, contemplating how fat you are. A toad day includes all of these things, and adds the premise that people are making fun of you, because, not only are you fat, but you are freakishly ugly, unbelievably clumsy, stupid and smelly. Everyone knows it. Whenever you do something which accentuates your stupidity or ugliness or fatness or whatever, you can be sure that someone will see. They will see and they will laugh. You are a toad. To top it all off, everyone knows that you have a crush on the bellboy.