Protect Yourself (A.K.A. Denial)
by Keith Piskur (2/21/99)
(secondary survivor)
They say it happens a lot
But I'm different
It won't happen to me
Boys, 1 in 7
Girls, 1 in 3
Maybe if I ignore it
It won't happen to me
The people I know
Haven't been raped
Or so they say
Of course when was the last time
I REALLY asked about your day
I noticed you were gone awhile
You came back missing your smile
I'm caught up in my life
It's really been a zoo
It's no excuse for forgetting
To ask what happened to you
I'm afraid to ask
What would I say?
If I were to find out
You're not OK
It scares me to think
That what happened to you
Might happen to me |
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Questions: Forgetting the Obvious, Asking the Stupid
by Keith Piskur (2/17/99)
(secondary survivor)
Do you love me?
Will you love me - ever?
Forgive me?
When will people learn
That love, forgiveness, trust
Can't be asked for
They must be earned
When will they learn
That they forget to ask
The most important question
And respect the answer
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A Journey Through Tears
by Tracey White (2/21/99)
(survivor)
He said he loved me
Yeah right!
Love isn't supposed to make you feel like less of a person
Real love builds you up, it doesn't break you down
If he had loved me
I wouldn't still be questioning my own self worth
Four years later, and I still hate myself sometimes
The attack may have stopped, but I'm still fighting him off
Begging him to go away, leave me alone
He's still not listening
He's got deaf ears, blind eyes
He can't see the pain he's caused
Or is it just that he doesn't want to?
What makes someone do this to another?
I know that rape is a crime of anger, aggression
It is NOT a crime of passion
Anger against who? Me? What did I do?
I just wanted to be his friend, not played with like a toy
You can throw away once it's broke
That's how I feel - broke
Like a piece of trash in the garbage
The love I'm given now, I don't feel worthy of -
Even though I'm told I am
When will being loved stop HURTING so much?
Stop making me feel I've stolen something
That's not really mine?
Why do I feel like the criminal
When HE is the one who sinned?
He took his anger and pain and passed it on to me
I feel it eating away at me
I'm told, "It's okay," I can let it out
But that's what HE did
If I let it out, I'm no better than him
I don't want to pass this pain on to another
I want to be fair
But how can I be fair and still heal myself?
I can't. It's impossible
So I remain silent
Building up walls, tearing them down
Waiting patiently but eagerly for that day
When I can be with the one
Who can help me break down the walls
For good
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I Don't Want To Speak Today
by Keith Piskur (2/17/99)
(secondary survivor)
Frustration, confusion, brain farts, writer's block
Money to raise, travel plans to make
Daily schedule to maintain
On a mini speakers' tour hoping to get my message out
I want to speak loudly, I want people to hear
A story I wish I didn't have to tell
I do not enjoy speaking
Not on this topic
But I will speak loud
I will speak clear
All the while hoping
And praying hard
That my presentations
Will put me
Out of
Business
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Because I Love Her
by Keith Piskur (2/17/99)
(secondary survivor)
Pain
Hurt
Mistrust of men
Hatred of a society
That teaches girls to play with dolls
And boys to love guns and violence
Tired
Stressed
Sleepless nights
Energy sucked out of my body
Cold
Tired
Like I was hit with the very snowballs
I whip at trees to stay sane
Three long years - or is it four? I don't remember
Bad days, good days
Doing what we have to
Just to survive
Plans made and changed
Strengths gained, forgotten, and found again
A journey travelled together
My partner's heart is my guide
Questions?
Yes, I have questions...
But not for my fiance, (I trust HER)
But many questions for the S.O.B.
Who TRIED to steal her soul
***Special Note:***
Neither of us asked for this
She never asked for my help
But I'd do it all over again if I had to |
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TEARS
by Carrie Ellen Pennington (date unknown)
(survivor)
Tears of pain,
Tears of life,
I can't tell what is real.
Tears of hate,
Tears of fright,
Is this how I'll allways feel?
Tears of this life
that I am living.
Fears of this world
thats not worth what I'm giving.
Tears of loss,
my innocence gone in his taking
Fears of the cost
that i am now paying.
Tears that could drown me
if I were to let them.
Fears they are compounding
they almost convince me he's won.
But it's my life now and
the tear and fears though, real.
They will not stop me again.
THIS IS MY TIME TO FINALLY HEAL. |
War
by Keith Piskur (5/20/99)
(secondary survivor)
Alone on a battlefield of her memories
a war she never wanted to fight
She got no awards for her bravery
although she desrves many.
In Viet Nam they fought a war
that many people didn't want.
And yet there was no great celebration with homecoming.
She feels somewhat like other soldiers
except they give no awards for battles
fought in your own home |
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