Column 12 (6-11-98)

All Around The World It's The Same Ole Song!

It is hard to believe that another month has past. There is so much to do. CC and I are taking vacation again in Gatlinburg this year from June 28th to July 3rd. My brother JIMBO and his ole-lady are joining us, we should have a blast. I have to TRY and make a trailer hitch for the Magna. It can be done, but will have to be set-up like a fifth wheel hitch. I tell you, those sports bikes are hell to put a hitch on! Just been riding and working.

Well, this month I want to talk about DickHeads, AssHoles, and just plain S.O.B's. I am sure that I have your attention. It seems that the most likes columnist in the world are columnist that talk about what everyone wants to hear, about their frustrations. You know, something we all can relate with. So here we go . . .

I have heard ever since this Harley craze has started that I need a real motorcycle. My belief is that most of these people are just trying to justify spending their retirement on a bike that cost 17g's. They can't face the fact that they, hard working people, were talked into buying a chrome wagon just because someone else thinks it is a good idea. Peer pressure is to blame without a doubt. So you have a Republican concept in action, the Trickle-Down-Economics Theory. I have never met a person on a Chrome Wagon Harley that did not tell me how much money they would sell me their bike for. Son of sam, get suckered into Keeping-Up-With-The-Jone's and then try and sucker someone else into your displeasure. Salesmanship is the word. Let's face it people, not everyone out there riding a Harley is happy about it. They do the same thing that alot of people do with Jap bikes, they buy them . . . ride them . . . fall out of love with them.

In no way am I catagorizing ALL Harley riders in this theory. Theory? The truth. The real bikers that love their machines and love to ride them instead of waiting till June 1999 to sell their bike because the NASDAC predicts their model will bring the most money that month and year, they are the real deal and are excluded from this generalization.

But, REDBIRD. Why rag on the Harley riders. I will tell you why. I have a friend that bought a new Evo a few years ago, Johnny. Johnny ragged me a little about me and my RICE-BURNING-BIKEs. Like I said, we are friends and think nothing of ragging each other. Johnny used to have a CB750 at one time and rode the shit out of it, Johnny is a biker and has always been a biker.

A couple of years ago at the Dickson/Humphreys County C.M.T./A.B.A.T.E bike rodeo my sisters dope addict/bitch/head giving friend saw Johnny on his sporster and said out loud, "Why don't you get a real motorcycle and trade that girl-bike." Needless to say her opinion does not carry far anyway. This is the type of character I talked about earlier in the BLOW-OUT. Live-To-Wear (live to wear a t-shirt) and Wear-To-Live (wear t-shirt so they feel justified to bitch) type person.

I talked to Johnny June 6th and asked him. I heard you sold your bike Johnny, is it true. I always go to the source if I can. "Yea, I sold it. Had too bad of an experience the first time around (talking about after he bought his Harley)." It seemed that it is not good enough to just own a Harley as a man, you have to own an expensive Harley to be a real man. At least that is what every one told Johnny, I guess it worked because he did sell his girl-bike. LOL.

Jonhnny is not the type to let other people tell him what to do. He rode Jap-Crap as the REAL-BIKERs say, then he bought a girly-bike and broke down to sell his only ride. It is ashame is it not? Yea, right.

I asked my friend, "You gonna buy another one?" "Hell yea, man. I'm looking for it right now. A 75, haven't decides on a rigid or not though." Need I say more than what was just said my fellow gear-heads? If you don't get it now, maybe later on in life then. My friend has truely turned to the other side of the fence, the side of the Hard-Core-Biker. A person that respects ALL motorcycles and only respects the biker that respects. Words need not be exchanged to recognize a true biker, that is the magic/essence or it, WORDs NEED NOT BE EXCHANGED. Why not REDBIRD, because there is not reason to exchange words, I am secure in my masculinity and know who I am. NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO TELL ME WHO I NEED TO BE or TELL ME HOW I AM GOING TO BE, unless I want to be that way. We are a rare-breed of human being, the BIKER.

What surprised me, not really, is that the Harley-Wannabe-a-Biker Clan has started to turn on their own. My grandmother always told me that people look down on others so they can feel like they are better than the rest. The snobs and juppies could only play the part for a few years and now their true colors are coming out to expose them. A camelion can change colors any time . . . but he will always be a camelion no matter what color he is.

Peace friends, ride safe.

P.S. Got a grip or just don't agree/disagree. Write us an e-mail and let us know.

Later gearheads, REDBIRD.