Hello all.
My name is Sherry/tigar4. As promised here is my testimony. Some of you all have already heard parts of this. I am sending this for
God's glory only. I guess the best place to start is at the beginning.
I was born in 1971 in chicago. I have two older brothers. Jeff is 8
years older and Bob is 6 years older. I was a surpise. LOL! I am the
only girl and the baby of the family. At the age of 27 I am still the
baby. Anyhow we moved to Memphis when I was 7. My parents always
brought me to church. I am thankful for that. Until I was 8 my mom was
a stay at home mother. At about age 8 my mom went to work and my life
changed for ever. When my mom went to work my brothers watched me after
school and on holdays. My dad watched me on Saturdays. I looked up to my
brothers. But they did me wrong when we were home alone. Jeff would
play a game with me. It was called strip poker. Well anyhow it was not
a fun game. And from the age of 8 until 10, Jeff sexually abused me and
raped me. During that time my uncle was also molesting me. So I was
being abused from all areas of my life. From the age of 10 until 12
was a hard time in my life. Right before I turned 10 my dad had a heart
attack and open heart surgery. Back then they would not let kids up to
see the patients. So I was scared and not able so see my dad. Well my
dad got better and went back to work. Then Jeff got arrested for
robbing and raping someone. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 5
years in prison. Well you would think after Jeff went to prison things
would get better. But they did not. Bob started playing that "game."
From 10 - 12 Bob was sexually abusing me and raping me. During that
time I also lost several friends because of Jeff going to jail for rape.
I was also an angry person at home. So I stayed in trouble with my dad.
I tried but could not do anything good enough for my dad. No matter
what I done it was not good enough. At the age of 13 I got saved. I
pretty much stood by the Lord until I was about 20. Then I rebelled.
First though, my brother came home from prison when I was 15. At that
time I did not remember the abuse. But I was very angry and did not
want my brohter to come home. Me and Jeff fought all the time. I started
hitting walls, putting my foot through doors (a solid wood front door),
and was throwing and breaking things. I could not control my temper. I
still have a hole in my bedroom wall from where I put my fist through
it. Jeff was always yelling at me and picking on me so I would yell
back or else fight. I always got into trouble for not ignoring him.
Jeff was also drinking. Well anyhow when I was 19 my dad died of a
heart attack. That was a hard time in my life. After my dad died I
started having flashbacks and memories of the abuse. I also started
hanging out with the wrong crowd. I never got into trouble I was just
not serving the Lord. At the age of 24 I went back to the Lord. That
is when the devil really started attacking me. I was in and out of
counseling for 3 years. That puts us to the present. I am now going to
tell you about Feb 1, 1998. On that day I moved back in with my mom and
Jeff. Jeff still drinks and uses drugs and does not work. He also
emotionally abuses me. Well 2 days later on the 3rd I ran away. I
was fed up with it all. But God told me to go back home. So 2 days
later I went back home. By the grace of God I still had a job. Well I
worked for a week and then I had a real bad weekend. So I went into a day
treatment center for deprresion. I played around for 3 days. Then I
got serious and got in touch with my feelings. Well on Monday after a week
of intensive counseling. I was real depressed and a true friend of mine(
I won't say who. You all know her and she knows who she is; she (I do want
to say thank you to her) called the police because I would not promise
her that I was not going to hurt myself. When the police came out I was
better (or so I thought) so I talked my way out of it and told them I
did not know what they were talking about. I also told my mom I did not
know why someone called the police. I told her it was a joke. So the
police left. But the next day I was worse. All day at the center I had
some pills in my pocket; I was threating to take them. So I checked
myself into the hospital. I spent 11 days in the hospital, then 3 days in
outpatient. While I was in the hosp I lost my job. But praise God I am
better. I am back in Church and trusting God.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for me. You all mean the
world to me. And a special thanks to a group of people in the cafe that prayed the whole time i was in the hospital. You know who you are. I
do want to say one more thing. If you have been raped or sexually abused it was not you fault. Please get help. And if anyone needs to
talk about it I am here for you.
Yours in Christ,
Sherry/tigar4
A ship in a harbor is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.
Einstein