To make it possible for everyone to attend church
Next Sunday, we are going to have a "No
Excuse Sunday".

Beds will be placed in the foyer for those
Who says "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."





There will be a special section with soft sofas
For those who feel our pews are too hard.






Eye drops will be available for those
With tired eyes from watching tv late Saturday night.






We will have steel helmets for those who
Say "The roof would cave in if I ever
Came to Church."






Blankets will be furnished to
Those who think the church is too cold and
Fans for those who say it is too hot.






Score cards will be available for those
Who wish to list the hypocrites present.






Relatives and friends will be in
Attendance for those who can't go to church
And cook dinner too.






One section will be devoted to trees and
Grass for those who like to seek God in nature.






Doctors and nurses will be in attendance
For those who plan to be sick Sunday.






The sanctuary will be decorated with both
Christmas Poinsettias and Easter Lillies for
Those who never have seen the church without them.






We will provide hearing aids for those who
Can't hear the Preacher and cotton for those who
Say he is too loud.