Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying

About your age and start bragging about it.




If someone tells you you’re getting old,

You squash his/hers toes with your rocking chair.





The older we get, the fewer things seem

Worth waiting in line for.





Some people try to turn back their odometers.





I want people to know "why" I look this

Way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the

Roads weren’t paved.





Maturity is that time when you know when to say yes

And when to say no, and when to say "WHOOPEE!".





How old would you be if you didn’t know

How old you are?



When you would like to go back to your youth...think

Of math in school, the heartbreaks of the teen years

And the bumps in the road of life you have

Already survived.





You know you are getting old when everything

Either dries up or leaks.





The golden years are really metallic years; gold in the

Tooth, silver in your hair and lead in the rear.





Life would be infinitely happier if we could

Only be born at the age of 80 and gradually

Approach 18.





Old age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly.

It is more often a succession of jerks.





Yeah, being young is beautiful but old

Is comfortable.