I hide myself from one and all,

Never letting down the wall

I've built to cover all the fears,

The guilt, the anger and the tears.

I hide my feelings, honest thought,

Panic struck that I'll be caught

Exposing things crouch'd in the dark

That tear my spirit, leave their mark.

A mark that nothing can erase,

A scar with foul and ugly face,

A horrid thing that I would pay

All Midas' gold to scrape away.

I struggle, agonize and cry,

If only I could stop the lie.

The lie my life has now become,

The lie that strikes my conscience dumb.

I shrivel, thinking of the shame

If all my secret sins were named.

If only I could live again,

Take back the wrongs, wash out the pain.

The face I show is made of clay

I've molded into false display,

To show the world what they WOULD see.

But down inside, it isn't me.

It's what they want, a surface show,

But not the me that hides below.

I hide myself in self-made night,

Unable to dispel my fright.

I hide myself from one and all,

Never letting down the wall.





Copyright © 1992 by Gerry Edwards