4. Why Are We Here?

The Mullah Nasrudin had a new disciple. One day the disciple asked; "Great Mullah, why are we here?"

"Ah!" replied Nasrudin, "The eternal question. Put five pennies in the pocket of my robe."

The disciple did as he was told. "Now, see that open book upon the table? Place your chin on the table in front of the book" said Nasrudin. The disciple did as he was told and the Mullah slammed the book shut on the disciple's nose.

"OW!"

"Now do you understand?" inquired Nasrudin.

"I am unworthy, great Mullah. I still do not understand why we are here." replied the disciple.

"Very well then. Put five pennies in the pocket of my robe" The disciple did as he was told. "Now put your hand in this open drawer." The disciple did as he was told, and Nasrudin slammed the drawer shut on his hand.

"Aaaaiiieeeee!" screamed the disciple.

"Now do you understand?" inquired Nasrudin.

"Great Mullah, my poor brain still does not comprehend why we are here."

"Very well then. Put five pennies in the pocket of my robe." The disciple did as he was told. "Now, look very closely at the tip of my finger." The disciple bent down and peered at Nasrudin's extended finger. "Closer" instructed the Mullah. The disciple peered very closely at the tip of his teacher's finger, and Nasrudin jabbed his finger in the disciple's eye.

"Yeeearggghhh!" screeched the disciple.

"Now do you understand?" asked Nasrudin.

"I am in despair, great Mullah" replied the disciple. "I am poorer now, and in greater pain and confusion than I was before I even asked the question!"

"Exactly!" said Nasrudin. "I have just spared you twenty years of study and meditation. Now, if you still do not understand, go out in the street and continue begging for alms and we will continue the lesson tommorow."

The disciple did as he was told, and after he had left, Nasrudin went down to the market and bought himself a new robe with the disciple's money.

The Mullah Nasrudin advertised that he could provide the answer to the questions; "Why are we here" and "what is the purpose of existence" for 50 silver pieces. Soon, a wealthy merchant answered his ad and was sitting on the carpet at his feet. "We are here to buy and sell goods", explained Nasrudin. "We are here to grow prosperous and rich and own many fine things."

The merchant was very pleased, paid Nasrudin 50 silver pieces, and left. Soon after, a Monk answered the ad and was sitting on the carpet at the Mullah's feet.

"We are here to overcome the temptations of the flesh" explained Nasrudin. "We are here to pray and to sit in contemplation so that we grow wise and please God with our devotion."

The Monk was very pleased, paid Nasrudin 50 silver pieces, and left. Soon after, a Courtesan answered the ad and was sitting on the carpet at the Mullah's feet.

"We are here to revel in the pleasures of the flesh" explained Nasrudin. "We are here to give and receive carnal pleasure, to indulge in intoxicants and fine foods, and to enjoy each other's company."

The Courtesan was very pleased, paid Nasrudin 50 silver pieces, and left. Later that week, the Merchant, the Monk and the Courtesan all met in the market and excitedly told each other that they had discovered the answers to the questions "Why are we here?" and "What is the purpose of existence?". When they realized that all three had been to see Nasrudin and been given three different answers, they were outraged. They went to the Mullah's house and barged inside, intent on getting their money back.

"Nasrudin you rascal!" they cried. "You have cheated us! You have given each of us a different answer to the great questions, and that is impossible. We demand our money back."

"Ah!" replied Nasrudin. "I'm afraid that you don't understand. The purpose of MY existence is to be paid a lot of money to tell fools who are so obsessed with unsolvable riddles that they cannot enjoy each moment of their lives for what it is, what they want to hear."