FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE RAISED IN TEXAS, YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THAT IN MANY STATES A BBQ IS ONLY A PAST TIME. SOMETHING YOU DO ON THE 4TH OF JULY OR LABOR DAY AND SUCH. THIS USUALLY CONSISTS OF BASICALLY HOT DOGS AND HAMBURGERS COOKED ON A WEBER GRILL.
FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT RAISED IN TEXAS, YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THAT IN TEXAS A BBQ IS A PASSION, A COMMITMENT, A WAY OF LIFE THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN FOR GENERATIONS. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BBQ GRILLS ON TRAILERS, CUSTOM MADE, SIX OR EIGHT FEET LONG. WOOD BURNING MONSTERS THAT WILL COOK ANYTHING YOU DESIRE."
1. A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?" The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's." The attorney said, "well do you have any grounds?" The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, " No, you don't understand, do you have a case?" The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere." The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?" The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere." The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays." The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30." Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. "WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?" And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
HOW MANY COWBOYS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? IT TAKES FIVE. ONE TO CHANGE THE BULB AND FOUR TO WRITE A SONG ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY ARE GOING TO MISS IT NOW IT'S GONE.3.Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking companies fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine," said the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the......." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question." "Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'" Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client." I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie." Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. -how are you feeling?"
